Understanding The Serial Victim: The Cycle of Deception In Relationship Scams

Scams and frauds can have a profound impact on individuals, leaving lasting emotional and financial scars. Among the victims of these crimes, there is a subset commonly known as a “serial victim.” These individuals repeatedly find themselves entangled in fake relationships that turn out to be scams, falling prey to different fraudsters one after another, believing each story and seemingly unable to connect the dots.

Let’s explore the psychological reasons behind this cycle of deception and shed light on the complex dynamics that contribute to this vulnerability.

Psychological Causes Behind Rebounding

Rebounding is something that happens to regular people and not just some scam serial victims, but with a serial victim, it is pronounced.

There is no specific psychological disorder that causes someone to rebound into a new relationship as soon as one ends. However, there are some mental health conditions that can make someone more likely to engage in rebound relationships.

These conditions include:

• Attachment disorders: People with attachment disorders may have difficulty forming healthy relationships. They may be drawn to people who are unavailable or who treat them poorly. This can lead them to rebound into relationships that are not good for them.
• Low self-esteem: People with low self-esteem may feel like they need to be in a relationship in order to be happy. They may be afraid of being alone, and they may be quick to jump into new relationships. With vulnerable scam victims, this is a recipe for disaster.
• Fear of abandonment: People who fear abandonment may be afraid of being left alone. They may try to prevent this by quickly getting into new relationships. When this occurs, they do not have the ability to apply normal discrimination and risk avoidance.
• Trauma: People who have experienced trauma may be more likely to rebound into relationships. They may be trying to fill the void left by the trauma, or they may be trying to avoid dealing with their emotions. Of course, this is where serial victims are especially vulnerable. With each no scam, their trauma deepens.

It is important to note that not everyone who rebounds into a new relationship has a mental health condition. Some people simply do not want to be alone after a previous relationship ends. But with serial victims, this is the pattern they live by until external forces (usually) force them to stop.

However, if you are concerned that you or someone you know may be a serial victim and rebounding in a way that is unhealthy, it is important to seek professional help – start with a trauma counselor, as this is likely to be the underlying cause. Visit counseling.AgainstScams.org resource and directories of counselors and therapists.

Serial Victim Rebounding

Serial victims of scams often exhibit patterns where they continuously engage in relationships with fraudsters, one after another. Despite experiencing previous scams, they may find themselves drawn into new fraudulent relationships unable to stop, displaying a willingness to trust and believe in the authenticity of the connections.

Jumping into another relationship immediately after one ends, often referred to as rebounding, can be driven by various psychological factors. While motivations can vary from person to person, here are some common reasons why individuals engage in rebound relationships:

1. Emotional Avoidance: Ending a relationship can bring about intense emotions such as grief, sadness, and loneliness – even if it was a fake relationship with a scammer. Some individuals may jump into a new relationship as a way to distract themselves from processing these difficult emotions. For a serial victim, jumping into a new relationship can help them avoid facing the pain and discomfort associated with ending the fake relationship.
2. Fear of Being Alone: The fear of being alone or facing solitude can be a powerful motivator for entering into a rebound relationship, even with another scammer. Some individuals may have a deep-seated fear of being single or struggle with feelings of insecurity and low self-worth when not in a romantic partnership of some kind. Rebounding offers a quick solution to alleviate these fears and fill the void left by the previous fake relationship.
3. Desire for Personal Validation: After a breakup of any kind, individuals may seek validation and a sense of self-worth from a new romantic partner. Rebound relationships provide an opportunity to regain a sense of desirability and attractiveness, boosting self-esteem that may have been injured by the previous relationship. The validation received from a new partner (new scammer) can temporarily fill the emotional void left by the previous relationship.
4. Need for Emotional Support: Going through the end of one relationship can be emotionally challenging, and some victims may seek comfort and emotional support in a new relationship – scammers can be very supportive (at least until they want money.) The presence of a new partner can offer a sense of security and stability during a vulnerable period. It provides a source of companionship, affection, and reassurance, buffering against feelings of loneliness and heartbreak. The only problem is if it is yet another scam.
5. Rebuilding Self-Identity: A rebound relationship can serve as a means to rebuild one’s self-identity and regain a sense of control and purpose, except this is all self-denial. After the previous scam ended, victims feel a loss of identity and a disruption to their routine and future plans. Engaging in a new relationship can offer a fresh start and a chance to redefine themselves outside of the context of their previous relationship. However, they should be seeking support from a qualified support group or counseling!
6. Distraction and Filling the Void: When a scam ends rebounding can fill the huge void left, and act as a distraction from the pain and grief of the previous ending. By immersing oneself in a new relationship, individuals can redirect their focus and energy away from the emotional fallout of the past. The new partner (fake) and relationship provide a temporary buffer, filling the void left by the previous partner.

It’s important to note that rebound relationships for scam victims will rarely lead to healthy and fulfilling connections even if the other person is real.

The problem is that victims who jump from one online relationship to another are not healing or even learning why they were vulnerable in the first place. Because of the fact that almost all victims are more vulnerable after a scam, it just becomes that much easier to be victimized again and again. It is common to see serial victims with from 3 to 30 scams before they learn to stop and abstain from any relationship until they are substantially healed.

The Serial Victim May Also Be Trapped By Their Own Hormones

With each new relationship, there are effects that hormones and neurotransmitters have on an individual when they enter into a new love relationship. Relationship scammers use things like amygdala hijacks and other manipulative techniques to amplify these effects creating a sustained level of hormones and neurotransmitters in the brain over a sustained period of time.

When a scam is discovered a victim will begin to go through withdrawal from these brain chemicals and it can have numerous effects, including a kind of desperation to jump into another relationship.

Here are some of the hormones and neurotransmitters that can profoundly affect scam victims during the scam relationship, and for a time even after the scam ends:

• Dopamine: Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is involved in the brain’s reward system. It is released when we do something that is pleasurable, such as eating, having sex, or winning a game. Dopamine is also released when we anticipate something pleasurable, such as looking forward to a date or a vacation. In relationship scams, dopamine can have a number of effects on the victim’s brain. It can make the victim feel more attached to the scammer, more willing to believe the scammer’s lies, and less likely to question the scammer’s motives. This is because dopamine is associated with feelings of pleasure, excitement, and motivation. When a victim is in a relationship scam, they may experience these feelings as a result of the scammer’s flattery, attention, and gifts. This can lead to the victim releasing high levels of dopamine, which can make them more susceptible to the scammer’s lies and manipulation. Dopamine can also make the victim less likely to feel pain. This can make the victim less likely to question the scammer’s demands, even if those demands are harmful or unreasonable. In addition, dopamine can make the victim less likely to see the scammer as a threat, and more likely to trust the scammer. As a result of these effects, dopamine can make it very difficult for victims of relationship scams to escape the scam. They can make the victim feel like they are in a loving and supportive relationship, even if the relationship is not real. They can also make the victim less likely to question the scammer’s demands, even if those demands are harmful or unreasonable.
• Oxytocin: Oxytocin is a hormone that is associated with bonding and attachment. When we are around someone we love, our brains release oxytocin. This can lead to feelings of closeness, trust, and security. This can lead to feelings of closeness, trust, and security. In the case of relationship scams, the scammer will often create a false sense of intimacy with the victim. This can lead to the victim releasing oxytocin, which can make them more likely to believe the scammer’s lies and to trust them.
• Vasopressin: Vasopressin is a hormone that is released in the brain in response to social attachment. It is thought to play a role in monogamy and faithfulness. In relationship scams, vasopressin can have a number of effects on the victim’s brain. It can make the victim feel more attached to the scammer, more willing to believe the scammer’s lies, and less likely to question the scammer’s motives. This is because vasopressin can create a sense of bonding and attachment. This can make the victim feel like they are in a close and intimate relationship with the scammer, even if the relationship is not real. Vasopressin can also reduce the victim’s ability to feel pain. This can make the victim less likely to question the scammer’s demands, even if those demands are harmful or unreasonable. In addition, vasopressin can reduce the victim’s anxiety. This can make the victim less likely to see the scammer as a threat, and more likely to trust the scammer. As a result of these effects, vasopressin can make it very difficult for victims of relationship scams to escape the scam. They can make the victim feel like they are in a close and intimate relationship with the scammer, even if the relationship is not real. They can also make the victim less likely to question the scammer’s demands, even if those demands are harmful or unreasonable. [Hint hint: if you have a cheating spouse have them tested]
• Serotonin: Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that is associated with mood regulation. When we are in love, our brains release lower levels of serotonin. This can lead to feelings of anxiety, obsessiveness, and jealousy. However, when we are feeling stressed or anxious, our brains may release lower levels of serotonin. This can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and obsessiveness. In the case of relationship scams, the scammer may use emotional manipulation to keep the victim off-balance. This can lead to the victim releasing lower levels of serotonin, which can make them more susceptible to the scammer’s lies and manipulation.
• Endorphins: Endorphins are a group of neurotransmitters that are released in the brain in response to pain or stress. They have a number of effects, including reducing pain, increasing feelings of pleasure, and reducing anxiety. In relationship scams, endorphins can have a number of effects on the victim’s brain. They can make the victim feel more attached to the scammer, more willing to believe the scammer’s lies, and less likely to question the scammer’s motives. This is because endorphins can create a sense of euphoria and well-being. This can make the victim feel like they are in a loving and supportive relationship, even if the relationship is not real. Endorphins can also reduce the victim’s ability to feel pain. This can make the victim less likely to question the scammer’s demands, even if those demands are harmful or unreasonable. In addition, endorphins can reduce the victim’s anxiety. This can make the victim less likely to see the scammer as a threat, and more likely to trust the scammer. As a result of these effects, endorphins can make it very difficult for victims of relationship scams to escape the scam. They can make the victim feel like they are in a loving and supportive relationship, even if the relationship is not real. They can also make the victim less likely to question the scammer’s demands, even if those demands are harmful or unreasonable.

These are just some of the many hormones and neurotransmitters that are involved in love. The effects of these chemicals can vary from person to person, but they can all have a significant impact on our emotions and behavior.

In the early stages of love, our brains are flooded with these hormones and neurotransmitters. This can lead to a range of intense emotions, including euphoria, excitement, obsession, and anxiety. These feelings can be both positive and negative, but they are all part of the experience of being in love.

As the relationship progresses, the levels of these hormones and neurotransmitters tend to stabilize. This can lead to a more stable and secure relationship. However, even in long-term relationships, these hormones and neurotransmitters can still play a role in our emotions and behavior.

For example, when we are around our partner, our brains may release oxytocin, which can make us feel closer and more bonded to them. Or, if we are feeling insecure about the relationship, our brains may release more cortisol, which can lead to feelings of anxiety or stress.

The effects of hormones and neurotransmitters on love are complex and still not fully understood. However, it is clear that these chemicals play a significant role in the experience of love. They can influence our emotions, behavior, and even our thoughts.

After the scam ends:

• Cortisol: Cortisol is a stress hormone. When we are under stress, our brains release cortisol. This can lead to feelings of anxiety, fear, and alertness. In the case of relationship scams, the scammer may use threats or intimidation to keep the victim in line. This can lead to the victim releasing cortisol, which can make them more likely to comply with the scammer’s demands. When a relationship ends, even a scam, Cortisol can be released causing fear and desperation – this can lead to scam doubt (was it really a scam?), fear of being alone, fear of retaliation and any verbalized threats, etc.
• Adrenalin: Adrenalin is a hormone that is released in response to danger or stress. It can make us feel more alert, focused, and motivated. With a romance scam, the scammer may use adrenaline to manipulate the victim into feeling more alert and focused, which can make them more likely to comply with the scammer’s demands, but also fearful or hypervigilant when the scam ends.

The Serial Victim Cycle of Deception

Some scam victims become serial victims after their scam ends because of a desperate need to find a relationship again. Doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results is not a sound way to avoid or recover from relationship scams.

This cycle can be attributed to various psychological factors:

In other words, what does the scammer offer (even though the victims do not know or believe it is a scam) that the serial victim physically, emotionally, and psychologically needs?

1. Emotional Vulnerability: Serial victims may be emotionally vulnerable, seeking validation, companionship, or love. Fraudsters exploit this vulnerability by manipulating their emotions, using tactics such as love bombing, flattery, and mirroring their interests and desires. The victims’ longing for connection can blind them to the warning signs of deceit.
2. Psychological Manipulation: Scammers are skilled at psychological manipulation, preying on victims’ emotions and insecurities. They use techniques like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and creating a sense of dependency to maintain control over their targets. Serial victims may struggle to recognize or resist these manipulative tactics, perpetuating the cycle.
3. Unresolved Emotional Trauma: Some serial victims may have experienced prior trauma, such as abusive relationships or childhood neglect, which can leave lasting emotional wounds. Scammers exploit these unresolved traumas and are often experts at discovering them, offering false promises of healing and fulfillment. The victims, longing for a positive connection, may unknowingly seek solace in these fraudulent relationships.
4. Cognitive Biases: Serial victims may exhibit cognitive biases that affect their judgment and decision-making processes. For example, the sunk cost fallacy, where they feel compelled to continue investing time, emotions, and money into a fraudulent relationship to avoid acknowledging their previous losses. Confirmation bias can also play a role, as victims selectively interpret information that confirms their belief in the authenticity of the relationship, disregarding warning signs.
5. Cognitive Impairment: Cognitive impairment can affect a scam victim after their scam ends in a number of ways. These include:
   • Increased risk of falling for another scam: People with cognitive impairment may be more likely to fall for another scam because they may have difficulty recognizing the signs of a scam. They may also be more likely to trust strangers and to give out personal information.
   • Increased feelings of isolation and loneliness: People with cognitive impairment may feel more isolated and lonely after being scammed. This is because they may feel like they have been betrayed and that they cannot trust anyone. They may also feel ashamed or embarrassed about being scammed, which can make them withdraw from social interactions.
   • Increased anxiety and depression: People with cognitive impairment may experience increased anxiety and depression after being scammed. This is because they may be worried about financial problems, about their safety, or about their ability to trust others. They may also feel guilty or regretful about being scammed, which can contribute to anxiety and depression.
   • Increased difficulty coping with the emotional fallout: People with cognitive impairment may have difficulty coping with the emotional fallout of being scammed. This is because they may have difficulty understanding and processing their emotions. They may also have difficulty finding healthy ways to cope with their emotions, which can lead to further problems.

Breaking the Serial Victim Cycle

Escaping the cycle of serial victim deception requires self-awareness, support, and healing.

Here are some strategies that can help serial victims break free from the pattern of falling into fraudulent relationships:

1. Abstinence from Relationships: Abstinence from new romantic relationships after a relationship scam ends is important for a few reasons:
   • First, it can give the victim time to heal emotionally. After being scammed, victims may feel a range of emotions, including anger, sadness, guilt, and shame. They may also have difficulty trusting others. Abstaining from relationships can give the victim time to process these emotions and rebuild their trust in others.
   • Second, abstinence from relationships can help the victim to develop clarity about what happened to them. When we are in a relationship, it can be easy to lose sight of our own needs and boundaries. After a scam, it is important for the victim to take some time to reflect on what they want and need in a relationship. This can help them to avoid getting involved in another scam in the future.
   • Third, abstinence from relationships can help the victim to rebuild their self-esteem. After being scammed, victims may feel like they are not worthy of love or respect. Abstaining from relationships can give the victim time to focus on themselves and to build their self-esteem. This can help them to feel more confident and to attract healthy relationships in the future.
2. Education and Awareness: Understanding the tactics employed by scammers and recognizing the red flags can empower victims to identify potential scams early on. Providing resources and educational materials (such as www.RomanceScamsNOW.com and www.ScamsNOW.com) about both the common scams and frauds and the complexities that make them so difficult, can help victims develop a more discerning approach to new relationships.
3. Professional Counseling and Therapy: Seeking professional help from therapists specializing in trauma and recovery can assist victims in processing their past experiences, addressing emotional vulnerabilities, and developing healthier relationship patterns. To find a professional trauma counselor or therapist visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
4. Support Groups: Joining support groups specifically designed for scam victims (such as those offered by SCARS)  can create a sense of community, provide a safe space to share experiences, and receive empathy and understanding from others who have gone through similar situations. To sign up for a free SCARS Support & Recovery Group visit support.AgainstScams.org
5. Building Resilience: Developing resilience is essential for breaking the cycle of victimization. This involves focusing on self-care, setting personal boundaries, and cultivating a strong support network of trusted friends and family members.
6. Improved Self-esteem and Self-worth: Serial victims may benefit from activities that promote self-esteem and self-worth. Engaging in hobbies, pursuing personal goals, and seeking validation from within can help rebuild confidence and reduce susceptibility to scams.

Summary

Serial victims of scams face unique challenges as they navigate a cycle of deception, repeatedly falling victim to fraudulent relationships. Understanding the psychological factors that contribute to their vulnerability is crucial in breaking this cycle. By providing education, support, and therapeutic interventions, society can empower these individuals to heal, rebuild their lives, and develop healthier relationship patterns based on trust and authenticity.

Resources:

• SCARS free support & recovery groups for scam victims – safe and confidential support: Sign up at support.AgainstScams.org
• To find a professional trauma counselor or therapist visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
• To report these crimes visit reporting.AgainstScams.org

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