What Does It Mean To Recover?
In Our Context We Mean That Recovery Is A Process
However, because scams are complex in that they involve psychological traumatization (as a victim), involve addiction (as in the mental addiction to the scam); and the financial difficulty of both financial recovery and reconciliation with the impact this caused on your life – we will explore parts of each of these.
In this article, we will be using two words: Victim and Survivor
These are to help delineate each stage of recovery. We view a victim as someone who has had the scam happen to them and is working to regain some measure of healthy control. A Survivor is someone who has regained a sense of balance and real control in their life. Being a Survivor does not mean (in our view) that you have recovered, but that you have taken control of your recovery and are actively working on it towards a positive goal. Of course, being a Survivor also means that you have come out the other end and the scam is no longer a part of your daily life.
According to: Dr. Lance Dodes, M.D., a former professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.
This Phrase “Recovery” Is Sometimes More Confusing Than Helpful
Many words in the addiction field have been tossed around for years without being clearly defined or even being meaningful. “Recovered,” “recovery” and “being in recovery” are examples. In most of life, “being in recovery” means a person is making progress even though s/he isn’t “cured.” Sometimes it is used as a synonym for “being in remission” — indicating relapse is a clear possibility (as with being “in recovery” from cancer), while other times it means “on the path to a definite cure” — as in being in recovery after surgery. Neither of these usages is problematic, so long as we all understand what is meant. But in the addiction field, the term has been used in a third way in 12-step programs. There, it is traditional for people to refer to themselves as “in recovery,” no matter how long they have been abstinent from their addictive behavior and no matter how well they are doing in life. Partly, this is the same as saying they are “in remission,” based on the idea they can always suffer a relapse. But too often, being “in recovery” has come to mean something different: that they are on what they declare is the right path. When used this way, folks are condemned as not “in recovery” if they drop out of 12-step programs or are thought to not be “working the program” adequately. When “recovery” is used this way, it is more a political statement than a factual or medical one.
People suffering with addictions should ignore the agendas of anyone attempting to define whether they are “recovering” or “recovered.” They would be better off thinking of their addiction as a repetitive behavior that arises with great force at key moments when they feel overwhelmingly helpless. These moments can be predicted and avoided once they know just what their emotional vulnerabilities are. However, there will always be some risk of becoming overwhelmed, and responding with the old behavior. To this extent, it is true that anyone with addictive behavior is never “cured.” But we are all at risk of repeating old behaviors (in my field it’s called “regressing”), whether these old behaviors are addictions or anything else that used to be part of our solution to life. That’s not a specific feature of addictions, it’s just the way humans are. It makes no more sense to label oneself as “recovering” forever from an addiction, than it does for a person who used to be depressed to forever be “recovering” from depression, or a person who has been cancer-free for 15 years to still define herself as a cancer patient. It certainly makes no sense to define “recovering” in terms of whether you are in one treatment approach or another. Addiction is a terrible symptom, but it is not who you are, and once you understand how it works emotionally in you so it doesn’t sneak up on you, there is no reason to dwell on what words you use.
Source: PsychologyToday »
Dr. Dodes makes a superb point in the meaninglessness of using the term as a solution in and of itself. We view recovery as a process of learning that can be accomplished on your own, in a support group, in therapy or counseling, or with the help of family and friends.
We view it as a statement that something seems broken and that there are changes needed in order to live a happy life. There are some generalized changes that all victims should go through – just to be safe – and the rest will be unique per person.
SCARS has several approaches to recovery to work for different kinds of victims, and some even after they become survivors.
The SCARS Approaches:
- Self Recovery – following the SCARS Steps approach
- Support Group peer-based recovery – allowing yourself to become part of a compassionate community of fellow victims and survivors
- Discussion Group peer-based recovery – allowing yourself to be part of a shared goal community to help identify your needs for recovery
- Educational Commentary recovery – participating as an independent victim in multiple ways while learning what happened and allowing you time to explore recovery options
SCARS’ RSN Division provides all four of these recovery solutions through their website, social media, and more. In each approach, we endeavor to offer victims assistance and support in any way the victim can accept. We do not offer therapy or counseling, but we offer knowledge, communications, and peer-to-peer support structures.
Of course, this is complicated because there are phases of recovery too.
In order to begin the process of recovery, you are required to accept two fundamental things:
Acceptance of the truth & reality
Acceptance of your need for recovery
Accepting the truth is about accepting that you are the victim of a crime – that is the first part; but then accepting reality. Reality means that you are willing to learn the true situation regardless of your biases, expectations, and assumptions. For most scam victims this will be quite different than what they initially believed.
Accepting your need for recovery is critical in your success. You have to accept that you need help and that there is no shame in doing that. No one can really help you if you cannot accept this important fact.