
SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years

You Have A Choice To Make!
Failure Is A Choice
However, YOU Can Recover If You Want! We Will Help You!
ARE YOU CHOOSING TO FAIL?
When You Are Scammed, Why Wouldn’t You Want To Protect Yourself?
Strangely, many scam victims ignore their own safety.
Yes, only about half of victims bother to follow the recommended actions to secure their own safety. Even members of this group have not fully secured their profiles.
Why is that?
Continued biases, apathy, procrastination, and denial.
Think about that for a minute! There are still people in this group that allow scammers to send them friend requests!
Why would you want that?
To be serious about your recovery and your safety – not to mention the safety of your friends and family – you have to be serious about your online safety and social media profile settings. If you are not, then by definition you are not serious about your recovery or safety, or the safety of people you are connected with.
That is a pretty judgmental statement, but there are consequences to actions and decisions.
The scam can be forgiven because you were not at fault, but once you learn and then still do not act, then that is just denial & negligence. Hard truth!
So here is what is expected of every recovering scam victim:
- Block all scammers and stop all communications – that means don’t even read it – if you can read it, it means you DID NOT BLOCK them. In your email, it means marking them as junk or spam.
- Clean out your Facebook or social media friend’s/contacts list – no one that you do not physically know. If you do not really know them they must be gone.
- Eliminate the FOLLOWER option on Facebook – not one should ever have followers unless you are a celebrity. No one here is a celebrity, sorry!
- Disable friend requests except from “friends of friends” on Facebook. No strangers.
- Do the same for messages in Facebook and other messengers.
- Change the visibility settings for everything in your Facebook or other social media profile, except your main profile image. Nothing should be visible to strangers.
- Always use a brief form of your name – your real name, but not your legal name. You need to be able to defend your profile if Facebook asks for your ID. Plus anything but a real name is prohibited by FB.
- Be careful what you post on public pages. Too much information makes you a target.
- Delete accounts that you only have because of the scammer, such as Google HANGOUTS – do not simply stop using them, delete them.
- Secure your email account with TWO FACTOR AUTHENTICATION. Do the same for all of your critical accounts, such as banking. You main email is the key to all of your accounts, if you lose control of that you lose control of everything.
- Change all of your critical passwords since the scam to STRING PASSWORDS. Here is a simple model: AnimalType#Number@websitename – such as “Womabt#32@Facebook: – that is actually a very strong password
- If your scammer knew of your critical IDs, such as bank account numbers – change them. One phone call is enough to change account and card numbers. About 37% of scam victims have their identities stolen.
- Tell your friends and family that you “removed someone and they should be on alert for strangers contacting them” – you should tell them you were scammed, but at least alert them to the “stranger”.
- Stop listening to amateur anti-scam groups that spread false news, urban legends, and don’t know what they are doing, but just focus on hating scammers! Either they are an incorporated nonprofit, or they are amateurs!
- Learn how this happened to you and other ways to be safe in the future! This website is the right place for that!
- Stop focusing on your scammer, and instead focus on yourself, your trauma, and your recovery!
How can anyone argue with this?
Yet MOST victims do not do all or even most of these things.
This is denial.
You control your recovery success or not.
This is being very blunt, but our SCARS Steps Recovery Process requires that YOU make up your own mind and make your own commitment.
We cannot fix victims, just show them the path.
This is true of EVERY successful substance recovery program for the last 120 years! Yes, a romance scam is a substance recovery process, Both because of the addictive nature of your own hormones, and because of the psychological dependencies that were created by the manipulation.
This means that much of what a victim (YOU) has to go through is the same as for a drug or alcohol addict. With the same psychological acceptance, acknowledgments, and commitments, to make it through the process. And just like any addict, if you are not willing to make the commitment, you will not recover.
Sadly, it is that simple.
You do not need to follow the SCARS Steps Recovery Program (in its various forms), because you can go through other recovery programs, or counseling, or therapy, and get to the same place. Any of them can be just as effective. But in all cases, it demands acceptance, acknowledgment, and commitment.
Anything less is denial or worse.
We are here to help in every way possible, but the work HAS TO BE DONE by you.
If you fail, then you fail. It is your life you are continuing to screw up.
If you succeed, it is your life you are recovering, and YOU deserve all the credit.
As we say to all, we wish you well.
We will be here if you are serious or even if you are not, but we can only help those that make the effort. If you stop short, it is only yourself you are hurting – and maybe those around you. But that is your choice, not ours.
Denial, apathy, and procrastination ARE CHOICES.
Choose well, please.
As always, please share how you feel about this.
PLEASE SHARE OUR ARTICLES WITH YOUR FRIENDS & FAMILY
HELP OTHERS STAY SAFE ONLINE – YOUR KNOWLEDGE CAN MAKE THE DIFFERENCE!
THE NEXT VICTIM MIGHT BE YOUR OWN FAMILY MEMBER OR BEST FRIEND!
By the SCARS™ Editorial Team
Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
A Worldwide Crime Victims Assistance & Crime Prevention Nonprofit Organization Headquartered In Miami Florida USA & Monterrey NL Mexico, with Partners In More Than 60 Countries
To Learn More, Volunteer, or Donate Visit: www.AgainstScams.org
Contact Us: Contact@AgainstScams.org
TAGS: SCARS, Information About Scams, Anti-Scam, Scams, Scammers, Fraudsters, Cybercrime, Crybercriminals, Romance Scams, Scam Victims, Online Fraud, Online Crime Is Real Crime, Scam Avoidance, SCARS Recovery Program, SCARS Steps, Scam Victim Recovery, Victims in Denial,
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.
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