The Relationship Scam End Game: The Confession Scam and Other Strategies

The Relationship Scam End Game: The Confession Scam and Other Strategies

How Scammers Try One Last Time And Close Up The Scam

A SCARS Insight

This information can apply to most types of scams, from Romance Scams to Lotto Scams, to Government Impersonation Scams, to Grandparent Scams, and many more. When a victim discovers the truth the scammer will react in one of several predictable ways that we call “End Game Scams.”

The Confession Scam Technique – Final Reveal & “I Love You”

A Significant Percentage of Scam Victims report that just before the end of their scams, the scammer revealed their real face and said that they can grow to love the victim!

Of course, the confession scam technique is just another lie, but an effective one!

After spending weeks or months in a fake relationship with the scammer, a scam can go sideways – meaning that the victim finally discovers that it was all just a scam. But in the final moments, the scammer has an opportunity to regain control by confessing!

The Confession Scam is just another Typical Tactic

The typical tactic is for the scammer to admit that it was all a scam but that he/she really does love the victim – they grew to love the victim after all of the time they were together! This is very compelling for the victim, after all, they always wanted to believe in the fantasy and this is an opportunity to salvage it. So what if the face is not the real face, so what if the scammer has taken all the victim’s money, so what if the scammer has spent weeks or months lying to the victim. He/she loves the victim! This is the victim’s greatest desire come true.

We know that so many victims have such a hard time letting go. That human desire to be loved and accepted remains strong right up to the very end of the scam. Then at the last minute, the scammer confesses and says they really love the victim – this is a scene right out of a Hollywood movie! Right?

It Is Just Another Lie!

It is just another lie in the long line of stories and lies that the scammers tell their victims.

This is yet another attempt to perform an Amygdala Hijack and confuse the victims enough through a flood of neural transmitters & hormones and base desires to continue with the scam relationship. This is how romance scam manipulation works – a constant stream of manipulation to maintain control over the victim and to get them to send every last penny!

Scammers have scripts and procedures they follow when conducting scams. This increases the likelihood of success and saves the scammers a lot of time. After all, scamming is a very time-consuming business for the fraudsters involved. But there are also different stages in a scam, and many times they will bring in specialists from their team to take over during these phases:

  • Initial contact and Grooming
  • Manipulation and Control
  • Getting the Money – the Closer
  • End Game

The Confession Scam happens in the End Game phase of the fraud.

More about the Confession Scam Technique

Online scammers often reveal themselves at the end of a scam in an attempt to keep a relationship going and harvest more money. However, it is important to remember that this is nothing more than another attempt at deception.

Here are some common ways that online scammers reveal themselves at the end of a scam:

  • They ask for money. This is the most obvious way that a scammer will reveal themselves. Scammers will often ask for money in order to pay for unexpected expenses, to invest in a business opportunity, or to help out with a personal emergency.
  • They make threats. Scammers may threaten to expose personal information, to harm a loved one, or to take legal action if their victim does not send them money.
  • They play on emotions. Scammers may try to guilt-trip their victims into sending them money by appealing to their sense of love, compassion, or fear.
  • They create a sense of urgency. Scammers may claim that their victim needs to send them money immediately or that they will miss out on a lucrative opportunity.
  • They offer to help. Scammers may offer to help their victims with a problem, such as getting out of debt or finding a new job. However, they will often require their victim to pay them a fee in exchange for their help.

During the End Game

Once a victim is beginning to show doubt or even to admit that they suspect, the scammer will attempt to maintain control, but when it is obvious that they cannot hold on then it will shift into the End Game phase.

When the deception is discovered, scammers will react in several different ways, depending on their criminal experience and the size of their crew.

Here are the typical end-game strategies or reactions that come from romance scammers:

  • Threats – this is the most common. Its goal is to embed fear in the victim and to keep them quiet after the scam. Scammers will threaten not only the victim but also their families with either physical violence or with exposure – exposing the victim to judgment and ridicule.
  • Blackmail – this ties in with the threats. Many victims are told that if they do not pay then the threats will be carried out.
  • Sextortion – during the course of the scam many scammers will obtain sensitive information, possibly intimate photos that they will save for use at the end of the scam. Suddenly the scammer reveals that it was a scam and that they have these photos, videos, etc. and they will publish them or send them to family and friends unless the victim continues to pay.
  • Anger – many less experienced scammers just get angry when discovered and then block the victim. In a way, this is the best possible outcome. It makes it clear that it was a scam and helps to stop communication with the victim.
  • Insistence –  some scammers will go to the grave insisting that they are real and that the victim just does not understand. These are typically scammers in smaller groups that do not have the experience or specialization needed for End Game scams.
  • The Reveal/Confession Scam – this is where the scammer reveals him or herself as an African, Asian, Indian, etc. (usually African). They show their real face (but maybe not) and confess that they love the victim.
  • Comeback Scams – these are posts scam scams, meaning that after the scam is clearly over, the scammer or someone else will come back and try another tactic. These include scam investigation scams promising to find the scammer, money recovery scams promising to get the victim’s money back, or police scams when the victim will be contacted by fake police officers promising to arrest the scammer – all want money, but deliver nothing.

End Game: Threats

We have talked about this before. Scammers can be vicious with victims and threaten them in so many ways.

During the course of the scam, the victim typically tells the scammer all about their life – their family, their children (if any), their friends, their jobs, and so much more. The scammer will weave this into their threats of exposure or violence. Scammers have been known to threaten to kill the victim and their family. They have been known to threaten the employment of the victim with made-up stories just to get even.

These are usually to try to get the victim to make one last payment but can be when the victim refuses to pay anything more as well. Regardless of what the threat is, in almost every case the threats are meaningless and never carried out.

Why is that? Because fundamentally scammers are business people and their time is valuable to them. When a victim stops the scam, they need to focus their time and attention on the next victims that are working. Sometimes a scammer will come back after a few days or weeks to see if the victim has reconsidered, but they do not have time to waste.


Once you discover the scam follow our 3 Steps for New Scam Victims – including blocking all contact with the scammer and other strangers!

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