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SCARS™ Recovery: Phases Of Recovery
Scam victims go through a series of phases from the scam to recovery.
Many victims do not make it through all of them and become trapped in denial or anger, preventing them from recovery. Sadly the majority of victims do not recover, but being aware of the process can help you recognize where you are and what steps you need to take to move forward through the process.
- The scam is underway and the victims is manipulated into believing.
- The scammer isolates the victim from family and friends creating dependency.
- The victim’s very identity is tied to the belief in the reality created by the scammer.
- There may be doubts but the victim rejects them in favor of continued belief in the scam relationship.
- The scam is discovered and the victim goes into shock and hormonal withdrawal.
- Denial and doubt set in – how could this be real?
- Realization of the magnitude of the scam, its impact on the victim personally, their finances, and their future.
- The victim scrambles to understand and find help – someone must be able to help.
- The victim begins to experience anger and rage – how could this happen – who is to blame.
- This includes self-hate for allowing it to happen – how could they have been so stupid!
- For many victims hate takes hold and they become vigilantes, saviors, or simply hate themselves.
- They will target anyone that could be to blame and can not ever forgive themselves so they take it out on others.
- With knowledge and comprehension, the victim can forgive themselves for their mistake.
- They are not to blame, the criminal is. They accept the new reality and adjust their future to compensate.
- They seek real support and education to better understand why this could happen and how to realistically prevent it from happening again.
- When they are ready, they can help others make it through the phases.
So many victims of scams make the mistake of believing that recovering is something quick and short. They will recover just by deciding to do it, and then all of the trauma will be gone – sadly this is just a form of denial.
Recovery is a process that can take the average realist victim a year or several. It all depends on how committed each person is to let go of the anger, shame, and self-blame. These are the secrets to a successful recovery.
However, there is another important component of the recovery process. It is recognizing that you might not be able to do it alone, There is no shame in asking for help – a victim may need support, or counseling, or trauma therapy. Regardless of what is needed, get it and do not be ashamed to ask.
Here is what it looks like from a more traditional Grief Model
It is also about making the right choices during recovery
What does this journey look like?
The typical time span for scam victims’ recovery
Now you know!
We wish you well and we want you to know that this is our purpose – to help you recover from the scam!
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