Romance ScamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. And Risk Of Divorce

When A Married Person Is Scammed It Can Lead To Divorce

Does Being A ScamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. Victim Lead To Increased Risk Of Divorce

What Are The Probable Outcomes For Married Romance Scams Victims?

Extensive research has been conducted regarding factors contributing to the breakdown of marriage, focusing on problems such as infidelity, domestic violence, money problems, and mid-life crises.

A new study explored a new question: does crime victimizationVictimization Victimization (or victimization) is the process of being victimized or becoming a victim. The field that studies the process, rates, incidence, effects, and prevalence of victimization is called victimology. contribute to the dissolution of marriage?

Unique information from a national panel survey, the National Crime Victimization Survey, was analyzed in a longitudinal format to determine whether married crime victims were more likely than non-victims to become divorced or separated in the six to twelve months following the crime.

Logistic regression analysis indicated that crime victims were generally more likely to experience marital disruption.

Robbery victims were 2.7 times more likely (significantly so) than non-victims to be divorced or separated within six to twelve months of the crime, while this risk was non-significantly higher for burglary, assault, and theft victims.

Those victimized by their spouse were nearly nine times more likely to later be divorced or separated.

Assault victimization had a more detrimental impact on marriage for women than for men. Otherwise, the effects of victimization were similar for men and women.

Unfortunately, there has previously been no research conducted for scams, online crimes, or financial fraudFraud In law, fraud is intentional deception to secure unfair or unlawful gain (money or other assets), or to deprive a victim of a legal right. Fraud can violate civil law (e.g., a fraud victim may sue the fraud perpetrator to avoid the fraud or recover monetary compensation) or criminal law (e.g., a fraud perpetrator may be prosecuted and imprisoned by governmental authorities), or it may cause no loss of money, property, or legal right but still be an element of another civil or criminal wrong. The purpose of fraud may be monetary gain or other benefits, for example by obtaining a passport, travel document, or driver's license, or mortgage fraud, where the perpetrator may attempt to qualify for a mortgage by way of false statements. A fraud can also be a hoax, which is a distinct concept that involves deliberate deception without the intention of gain or of materially damaging or depriving a victim. victims.

Theory – Possible Effects Of Victimization On Marital Disruption

[from the Study]

One can conceptualize several mechanisms by which victimization might affect marital stability. Victimization could entail multiple losses for the victim: a loss of self, interpersonal loss and institutional loss. The loss of self includes feeling different, a sense of detachment that may lead to disconnection from others, and a crumbling of the self (Herman, 1997), along with experience of emotional distress, difficulty in coping, and pursuing destructive coping strategies, such as
self-isolation or the abuse of alcohol and other drugs (American Psychological Association, 2000). The loss of self may interfere with the victim’s ability to connect to their partner and to express emotions.

Interpersonal loss includes damage to the victim’s ability to trust others and the resulting harm to their relationships. This could diminish the intimacy, communication, and emotional bond between the husband and wife. Finally, institutional loss could include financial loss resulting from the crime (loss of wages, medical bills), as well as a loss of status in the community. The victim’s partner, as well as outsiders to the marriage, may blameBlame Blame or Blaming is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong, their action is blameworthy. By contrast, when someone is morally responsible for doing something right, we may say that his or her action is praiseworthy. Blame imparts responsibility for an action or act, as in that they made a choice to perform that act or action. the victim for being in the wrong place or participating in dubious, risky activities that lead to the crime. Society, family members and even perpetrators of domestic violence have participated in blamingBlaming Blame or Blaming is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong, their action is blameworthy. By contrast, when someone is morally responsible for doing something right, we may say that his or her action is praiseworthy. Blame imparts responsibility for an action or act, as in that they made a choice to perform that act or action. the victim (Henning and Holdford, 2006). More specifically, some husbands of sexually assaulted women may come to believe that their  wife did not resist the assaulted sufficiently vigorously, and thus the sexual contact was not entirely involuntary.

Maintaining the marriage would be especially difficult if a husband blamed his wife for contributing to a sexual assault, because it would undermine mutual trust and increase conflict.

Finally, it might be speculated that when a woman is victimized, under circumstances where she believed her husband could have helped but failed to do so, it  could reduce her respect for her husband because he failed in his traditional role as protector. This would be significant to the extent that some paternalistic  features of marital relationships have survived into the present, notwithstanding the spread of feminist ideas of gender equality. Similarly, the husband’s own  victimization could reduce his wife’s respect if she perceived the event as evidence of his weakness or timidity.

In SCARS Experience

We have not conducted a formal study of this challenge for married scam survivorsSurvivor A Scam Survivor is a victim who has been able to fully accept the reality of their situation. That they were the victim of a crime and are not to blame. They are working on their emotional recovery and reduction of any trauma either on their own, through a qualified support organization, or through counseling or therapy. And has done their duty and reported the crime to their local police, national police, and on Anyscam.com, however, our experience and anecdotal data suggest grave concerns.

Let’s look at what a Romance Scam means in a marriage.

Whether intentionally looking for infidelity or just being open to attention, when a married person is lured and manipulated into a romance scam most outsiders and their spouses would view it unfavorably. In fact, most (we believe) would look at it as an act of infidelity equal to a physical affair during the marriage. Of course, we know that the extreme manipulation that online criminals employ can lure the most unsuspecting victim into a virtual romantic relationship.  We refer to this as an Internet Infidelity – click here to learn more.

After The Discovery

Eventually, the married or committed romance scam victim will discover the truth, but then what?

This is one of those extremely difficult moments for any victim. Do they tell their spouse all, or some, or none?

Based upon our experience, this depends on several factors:

• How deep was the relationship and how committed the victim became to ending it.
• How significant were the monetary losses?
• How much denialDenial Denial is a refusal or unwillingness to accept something or to accept reality. Refusal to admit the truth or reality of something, refusal to acknowledge something unpleasant; And as a term of Psychology: denial is a defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality. controls the victim after the discovery of the scam.
• Or how much angerAnger Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability. or rageRage Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability. controls the victim after the discovery o the romance scam.

The answer to these questions are very difficult for a new scam victim to answer, but they must be answered because they point the way for the victim’s future.

Outcome

Sadly, in our experience over 65% of married romance scam victims will result in divorce within 2 years.

In one case – in November 2018 – one of the victims that were involved in a romance scam while married, when she told her husband just the basics, everything was under control, but when she told him the truth about the total amount she lost – he murdered her.

In all cases for married scam victims, we recommend that you local a professional traumaTrauma Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. Psychological trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away. It can also leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people. Traumatic experiences often involve a threat to life or safety or other emotional shocks, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can result in trauma, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm. It’s not the objective circumstances that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized. Trauma requires treatment, either through counseling or therapy or through trauma-oriented support programs, such as those offered by SCARS. counselor to explore the experience and the trauma. Make the marriage issues a part of the counselingCounseling Counseling is the professional guidance of the individual by utilizing psychological methods especially in collecting case history data, using various techniques of the personal interview, and testing interests and aptitudes. A mental health counselor (MHC), or counselor, is a person who works with individuals and groups to promote optimum mental and emotional health. Such persons may help individuals deal with issues associated with addiction and substance abuse; family, parenting, and marital problems; stress management; self-esteem; and aging. They may also work with "Social Workers", "Psychiatrists", and "Psychologists". SCARS does not provide mental health counseling., and we suggest letting the counselor introduce the issues of the scam during a joint counseling session. Make sure that you get the help you need immediately – do not be afraid.

If your husband or wife asks, you can tell them you were scammed, but read our guide on this here: How To Explain To Others

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