Last Updated on by SCARS Editorial Team
How Can You Explain What Happened To Family And Friends?
A SCARSSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS. Guide for ScamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. Victims
The simplest explanation is the best explanation.
Your family and friends want to know:
- Are you alright? You say no, you are very traumatized by the experience
- How much did you lose? Tell them the amount.
- How did it happen? Tell them simply that it was an investment scamInvestment Scam When a caller claims to have a promising investment opportunity that will help you get rich quick, it's likely a scam. (even a romance scam is an investment in your future).
- Did you know this person? Say that you thought you did, but obviously not.
- Didn’t you verify? You thought you did, but obviously not enough – you were totally fooled.
- Can you get your money back? The police have the information but they do not think I can recover. However, they and the FBIFBI FBI - Federal Bureau of Investigation The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is the domestic intelligence and security service of the United States and its principal federal law enforcement agency. Operating under the jurisdiction of the United States Department of Justice, the FBI is also a member of the U.S. Intelligence Community and reports to both the Attorney General and the Director of National Intelligence. A leading U.S. counter-terrorism, counterintelligence, and criminal investigative organization, the FBI has jurisdiction over violations of more than 200 categories of federal crimes, including financial fraud. (or national police) are investigating.
- What can you do? Not much. You have to live with the situation and plan as best that you can.
- What about your future? Everything has changed and I have to change my plans because of it.
- Tell me the details or Tell me more? Just say that you are too upset to talk about it more. This was very traumatizing. Ask them for their understanding and support.
If you do this, no one should blameBlame Blame or Blaming is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong, their action is blameworthy. By contrast, when someone is morally responsible for doing something right, we may say that his or her action is praiseworthy. Blame imparts responsibility for an action or act, as in that they made a choice to perform that act or action. you. No one should shameShame Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self; withdrawal motivations; and feelings of distress, exposure, mistrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness. you.
Financial scamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. happen and people are victimized. But your friends and family only want to hear the basics so they can form an opinion, and then they will want to help and support you.
Everyone has heard about financial and online scams – this is now a normal part of our world. Your friends & family mostly want to know how they can help!
If you tell them the basics and then you say you are too upset or traumatized they will not ask more until you are ready to tell your whole story.
Victims often make the mistake of telling TOO MUCH INFORMATION upfront – this overwhelms their friends or family, and they start looking at YOU, instead of sympathizing with you.
Our experience is that if you can stick to these basics that you will not be made to feel blamed. Additionally, you will have a huge release of not having to maintain the secret. Keeping that secret is a cancer that grows and eats you from the inside. Let it go, even just the minimal information is a relief and helps you down the path to recovery.
Remember, just the minimal facts above. AVOID TMI – Too Much Information.
Of course, this is not what you tell the police. But with them also avoid TMI – avoid all the dialog, just stick to the basic facts and let them ask what they want to know.
This is your best path to share enough so that you are not hiding the truth, but not telling more than they need to know.
One last note. This also applies to almost all forms of scams – from phone scams to other online scams too.
This is the way to recovery!