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SCARS Institute™ Encyclopedia of Scams™ RomanceScamsNOW.com
Continuously Published for 26 Years – Since 2000
Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. [SCARS]
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Guest Editorial: Michele’s Survivor Insight
A Romance Scam Victim’s Insight After Recovery
Michele went through the SCARS recovery program and has a couple of insights for victims that are struggling
Hindsight is 20/20
By Michele
I wanted to share how I now feel about the scammers and some things I have learned from this experience.
Hindsight is 20/20, when we can finally see the whole picture and not just the snippets we saw in a moment, that’s when the true pain takes hold.
The scammers are full of so much drama, each day brings a new crisis. All we can see at the time was that snapshot in that moment.
Reporting the scammers is where I began to have some peace of mind and control. I learned to place the blame where it belongs – on the scammers.
Upon reflection I know there were red flags, I had gut feelings something was not quite right but the scammers had me brainwashed, they know how to control and manipulate people. I ignored the little voice in my head.
Control is their job.
They always have an answer ready, always keeping us off balance, and at all costs, they need to keep that illusion alive.
When we “wake up” so to speak. We are left to figure out how to survive the aftermath of such a gut-wrenching experience.
Picturing your future life was not crazy, I was picturing mine too. They paint a beautiful picture for us to buy into.
The scammers find our vulnerabilities and feed them to get their way. They really do live in our heads.
Know your heart will begin to heal.
And always remember we heal one day at a time,
sometimes one hour at a time,
sometimes one minute at a time.
Healing is different for all of us, we mourn the illusion and learn to let it go as if a loved one has died. We bury the ghost. We hold onto our faith and learn to fill the emotional void productively, with friends, family, and our faith. We go through stages of guilt, anger, blame, resentment and we learn to make adjustments
As we deprogram ourselves we do learn to refind our joy. It takes time. The waiting can be excruciating as we are in so much pain.
SCARS has given us a platform to purge, vent, and find support without judgment.
As we share our stories and comment because we are here for ” each one to teach one”.
Michele
Always Report All Scams – Anywhere In The World To:
Go to reporting.AgainstScams.org to learn how
U.S. FTC at https://reportfraud.ftc.gov/#/?orgcode=SCARS and SCARS at www.Anyscams.com
Visit reporting.AgainstScams.org to learn more!
TAGS: SCARS, Guest Editorial, Information About Scams, Anti-Scam, Scams, Scammers, Fraudsters, Cybercrime, Crybercriminals, Romance Scams, Scam Victims, A Victim’s View, Scam Victim’s Story
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By the SCARS™ Editorial Team
Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
A Worldwide Crime Victims Assistance & Crime Prevention Nonprofit Organization Headquartered In Miami Florida USA & Monterrey NL Mexico, with Partners In More Than 60 Countries
To Learn More, Volunteer, or Donate Visit: www.AgainstScams.org
Contact Us: Contact@AgainstScams.org
The Issue Of Race In Scam Reporting
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Table of Contents
sometimes one hour at a time,
sometimes one minute at a time.
Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
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ARTICLE CATEGORIES
How Scam Survivors Can Survive Valentine’s Day – 2026
An Essay on Justice and Money Recovery – 2026
United States Scam Center Strike Force – 2025 – VIDEO
The Scam States of Southeast Asia – 2025-2026
Yangyang Sweet / 阳阳 Sweet – Impersonation Victim – Used By Scammers – 2025
“Pao Fen” Payment Laundering and What It Means – 2025
Rapid Report Scammers
Visit SCARS www.Anyscam.com
Quick Reporting
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
SCARS Institute articles examine different aspects of the scam victim experience, as well as those who may have been secondary victims. This work focuses on understanding victimization through the science of victimology, including common psychological and behavioral responses. The purpose is to help victims and survivors understand why these crimes occurred, reduce shame and self-blame, strengthen recovery programs and victim opportunities, and lower the risk of future victimization.
At times, these discussions may sound uncomfortable, overwhelming, or may be mistaken for blame. They are not. Scam victims are never blamed. Our goal is to explain the mechanisms of deception and the human responses that scammers exploit, and the processes that occur after the scam ends, so victims can better understand what happened to them and why it felt convincing at the time, and what the path looks like going forward.
Articles that address the psychology, neurology, physiology, and other characteristics of scams and the victim experience recognize that all people share cognitive and emotional traits that can be manipulated under the right conditions. These characteristics are not flaws. They are normal human functions that criminals deliberately exploit. Victims typically have little awareness of these mechanisms while a scam is unfolding and a very limited ability to control them. Awareness often comes only after the harm has occurred.
By explaining these processes, these articles help victims make sense of their experiences, understand common post-scam reactions, and identify ways to protect themselves moving forward. This knowledge supports recovery by replacing confusion and self-blame with clarity, context, and self-compassion.
Additional educational material on these topics is available at ScamPsychology.org – ScamsNOW.com and other SCARS Institute websites.
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.