Last Updated on by SCARS Editorial Team

The Hardest Subject – The Truth

Originally published in 2017 – Updated December 2020

When it comes to Romance ScamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. there is no ONE TRUTH

There are actually FOUR TRUTHS

  1. The Victim’s Truth
  2. The ScammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer.’s Truth
  3. Law Enforcement’s Truth
  4. Society’s Truth

What are these and why are they different?

You, who are visiting this page are probably a scamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. victim. That means you feel wronged, You feel like you were taken advantage of, and nobody cares or understands. Right?

That is a part of your truth.

Let’s explore each of these truths and see what perspective they provide. In order for you to recover fully, you have to be able to understand and accept all four truths, regardless of how hard it may be.

Warning: This is not going to be a sugar coating for wounded sensibilities. This is going to be bold brutal hard and in your face truth. This is going to share why others feel the way they do and why they look at you the way they do. Hopefully you can see the truth in this and accept it as a part of the reality that you find yourself within now that you have been scammed.

Let’s Start with the VICTIM’S Truth

  • You were scammed
  • You may or may not have lost money – if you did it was probably money you could not afford, and hate yourself for throwing it away
  • You were lied to and you believed it – how could someone do that to you?
  • All you wanted was love and yet you only found lies
  • You trusted the other person and they betrayed you
  • You did nothing wrong, you are the victim

You found a kindred soul online and you trusted them, and they took advantage of you.

Now you are depressed, angry, want revenge, and hate yourself for being the fool. You need someone to do something to: get your money back, and to see the scammer punished. Someone, anyone to save you!

No one cares. No one will do anything. As much as you ask for help, people just will not do what you need done.

No one understands. You can’t talk to people you know – your family or your friends just refuse to accept what happened – that you did nothing wrong. They think it is your fault.

Is that about right? Is that your perspective?

Now let’s look at the SCAMMER’S TRUTH

  • The victim has money and can afford to give it up
  • The scammer did not steal the money, the victim gave it to them willingly
  • There was no violence, the victim paid them for a fantasy, just like a movie
  • All the scammer provided was theater, helping the victim live a little, feel a little emotion, climb out of the decadent shell
  • The scammer made the victim feel good for a while and was paid for it
  • The scammer has a family to feed and the victim can afford it – they are rich
  • The victim willingly participated and lied to others about it, they are just as guilty
  • The victim is to blameBlame Blame or Blaming is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong, their action is blameworthy. By contrast, when someone is morally responsible for doing something right, we may say that his or her action is praiseworthy. Blame imparts responsibility for an action or act, as in that they made a choice to perform that act or action. – if they didn’t let the scammer in nothing would have happened
  • The victims live in countries that stole from Africa and deserve it
  • The scammer is not committing a crime – they are performing a service

The scammers have no moral problems with committing scams.

They feel fully justified in taking money that the victims willingly send to them. If the victim did not want to, no one forced them to do anything. The victims lied about their relationship to friends and family, and even to Western Union.

Now let’s look at the LAW ENFORCEMENT’S TRUTH

  • Victims willingly disregarded their own safety
  • Victims willfully engaged in unsafe behaviorBehavior   Behavior / Behavioral Actions Otherwise known as ha