Last Updated on by SCARS Editorial Team

SCARSSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS.Psychology Of ScamsPsychology Of Scams Psychology Of Scams is the study of the psychological or emotional effects of scams or financial fraud on victims of these crimes. It helps victims to better understand the impact of scams on them personally or on others. To find the SCARS articles on the Psychology of Scams, use the search option to enter the term and find them.: Victim Response To Fear Is AngerAnger Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability.!

After A ScamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. Many Victims Are In Panic And Experience Fear & Anger

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Victims Experience Real TraumaTrauma Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. Psychological trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away. It can also leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people. Traumatic experiences often involve a threat to life or safety or other emotional shocks, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can result in trauma, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm. It’s not the objective circumstances that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized. Trauma requires treatment, either through counseling or therapy or through trauma-oriented support programs, such as those offered by SCARS. After The Scam Is Discovered And Then Fear Sets in

The panic can come from several directions:

  • Fear caused by the realization that is was all lies
  • Fear caused by the awareness of the risk of exposure – because of information shared with the scammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer.
  • Fear caused by the amount of money and the financial impact that they will now have in their life
  • Fear of discovery by family or friends or the outside world
  • Fear from threats made by the scammer
  • Fear from the total loss of control in their life

All of these are real fears that most victims experience.

But With Fear Comes Anger & RageRage Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability.

Anger is the natural emotion created in a fight-or-flight situation by the mind in a threatening situation – such as the discovery of being scammed.

When a scam victim senses the threat or danger following the discovery of the scam the mind generates fear and anger.

The fear is part of a flight response. Anger is the emotional energy a victim generates for the fight against that perceived threat.

Confusing For A Victim

The Mind Creates Fear And Anger Even When The Threat Is Just Imagined

Emotions like anger are natural and real.  Even if the threat is imagined the anger that is created is just as real and powerful.

However, the reasons a victim generates anger aren’t always real.

If the victim isn’t aware of how their mind is dealing with these imagined scenarios of hurt, threat or danger then their anger will appear irrational.

Real vs. Imagined Anger

It can sometimes be difficult to distinguish a real threat from an imagined threat because they can happen at the same time.

For example, someone is cutting you off on the freeway and a car briefly maneuvers in a way that could cause an accident and possibly injure your body.  There’s a natural fight-or-flight reaction to your emotions and you create a combination of fear and anger. The reality of this harm usually passes very quickly and so do your emotions – though not always depending on the person. Some people experience a kind of shock afterward.

However, the imagination may take over and create worse scenarios of whatever the trauma of the experience was.  The mind begins to consider all manner of worst-case scenarios that spiral upward and create ever greater stress.

The mind might recall similar events from the person’s past (powered by the Amygdala), projecting those into the mind uncontrollably, and add more emotional stress in the process.  After the real physical threat (the scam and the aftermath) passes the mind still projects scenarios in the imagination. The emotions then respond to those imagined scenarios with feelings of fear and the resulting anger.

Even later the mind will replay the event over and over, and the person’s emotions respond to the imagined vision.

The emotions created from the imagined scenarios are no longer based on anything real but because of the natural response of emotions to what is imagined the mind can amplify fear and anger to the degree that they become out of control. However, fear and anger are the natural consequences of imagined scenarios.

The problem is that the imagined scenarios in the mind are out of control – in a kind of escalating spiral – and no longer are based in reality.

Then add outside triggers, such as a comment or action from another and this can lead to a complete rage that is then directed against an innocent person because they became a perceived threat.

Awareness Of These Emotions

Victims are generally not aware of how their imagination is projecting these scenarios and will blameBlame Blame or Blaming is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong, their action is blameworthy. By contrast, when someone is morally responsible for doing something right, we may say that his or her action is praiseworthy. Blame imparts responsibility for an action or act, as in that they made a choice to perform that act or action. other people unnecessarily for their emotions. Understanding how the mind creates images and scenarios of imagined outcomes is critical to understanding the anger and other emotions.

The initial moment of fear and anger resulted from a very real scenario that could have caused you harm – meaning the scam.  However, most often the anger and fear people generate are sourced from their uncontrolled beliefs and imagination.

Irrational Perceptions

This fear and anger also drive irrational expectations in others. Victims frequently demand unrealistic performance of law enforcement and those attempting to assist them. These perceptions are driven by the victim’s own emotions and are not based upon the way the world really works or even the capabilities to those receiving their outbursts.

A perfect example of this is anger towards local police because they will not drop everything and get on a plane to go to Nigeria and arrest a scammer. The fear-driven anger blinds the victim to the real-world limitations and then causes further anger by the failure of the provider to do what the victim demands.

Such anger fueled irrational expectations are directed at anyone that does not do what the victim demands and expects. This not only alienates and isolates the victim but drives away anyone that is in a position to assist – both with the scam itself and with the victims own emotional recovery.

Anger Is Rational – Sometimes

Anger is the natural emotional response designed to protect us from danger.

It is part of everyone’s instinctual system for protection and preservation.

Examples of this are everywhere in nature, such as when an animal growls and bares its teeth in response to a threat to its territory.  A mother bear will switch into ferocious anger if someone were to come near her cubs.

Anger is a force of energy that people also project in order to push away or combat a threat.  However, anger ceases to be a form of protecting life and becomes a means of destroying life and relationships when the threat isn’t real.

Each person’s emotions typically respond the same whether a threat is real or imagined.

Anger itself is a completely rational emotion to have when there is awareness of threat scenarios in the mind. There is nothing mechanically wrong with the anger from imagined scenarios and beliefs – because the mind is capable of extrapolating threats from minimal information. The mind’s emotional response system is working properly in these cases.

The problem is with the thoughts, beliefs, and imagined scenarios themselves – when there is no real basis for them and that generate an irrational anger response.  The scenarios the mind projects in these cases are not rational at all.

Reactions And Consequences

Problems are created when the person does not have the necessary awareness or will power to refrain from outbursts of anger.

These reactions and consequences often distract us from the root cause of the problem. It’s easy to assume that anger is the problem because it is what is noticed.  It is the outbursts of anger that are seen and that cause the destruction.

The assumptions and interpretations in the mind are less noticeable amidst this emotional drama. However, emotions of anger are just a natural response to what the mind imagines.  If a person perceives and believes what the mind imagines it will create emotions as a natural response or consequence.

A person may want to stop their anger, but anger is just a reaction to something else. Anger is the natural emotional reaction to what the mind and imagination are doing. If the person is not aware of this process, then they will simply let the anger loose on anyone in their way.

Changing The Perception Of Threat

The way to overcome anger is to try to understand the root cause and alter the perception of threat.

It is vital to change how the mind imagines the situation and understand the reality of the situation.  When the mind imagines painful scenarios it naturally produces fear and that can lead to anger.

To reduce and eliminate the anger it is necessary to shift the perception that the mind has imagined. This is where the recovery process is important and can play a large role in shifting perceptions and expectations, but the person or scam victim has to be willing to embrace the process or it will fail.

Reactions to Emotional Pain

The mind can generate anger and fear even when there’s not a physical threat of pain or danger. The emotional response mechanisms can generate anger just as easily by imagining a scenario involving the threat of emotional pain or remembering it also.

When the mind is out of control imagining or remembering scenarios of emotional pain, the anger can easily get out of control.

For anger (rage, hate, etc.) to happen the emotional pain doesn’t even have to occur. If the victim just remembers it that is sufficient, or imagines that there will be hurt in the future (such as financial pain) the person can become angry before anything has actually happened.

Misplaced Blame

In a romance scam scenario, there are numerous opportunities for post-scam blame.

The victim feels shameShame Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self; withdrawal motivations; and feelings of distress, exposure, mistrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness. or fear from the financial loss, or there can be threats from the scammer or just baseless fear from sharing so much about themselves with a fraudulent stranger. These are irrational perceptions of danger. They all trigger blame.

At that point, because the victim is under these fear and anger stressors any external actions that go contrary to what the victim perceives or believes should happen will result in immediate blame – either self-blameSelf-Blame Victim blaming occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them. SCARS seeks to mitigate the prejudice against victims and the perception that victims are in any way responsible for the actions of offenders or scammers. There is historical and current prejudice against the victims of domestic violence and sex crimes, such as the greater tendency to blame victims of rape than victims of robbery. Scam victims are often blamed by family & friends for the crime. Scam victims also engage in self-blame even though they are not to blame. or against others as a means of avoiding their own involvement.

It is very typical for romance scam victims to blame a large array of people following the scam:

  • Themselves for being “stupid” to fall for it
  • The technology provider that allowed it to happen
  • The financial institution that did