Some Victims Replace The Obsession Of The Scam With Another Obsession About Scams
Unfortunately, some scam victims simply cannot turn away from the scam once it has ended.
Table of Contents
Those Of Us That Assist Scam Victims Cannot Turn Away From Scams
We are forced to deal with scams and scammers on a daily basis. We write about them, report scammers, and help victims. This activity has the purpose that supporting other victims in a conscientious way.
Some Victims Cannot Turn Away
It’s like that compulsion that forces people to stare at a traffic accident!
Many scam victims though, simply cannot turn away from scams. There are many reasons for this:
Need for justice
Need to spread the word
Need to take revenge
Need to save others
All of those are valuable causes, but not when a scam victim is trying to recover from their scam.
The Need To Turn Away
After a scam, a victim needs to do the reporting and then try hard to turn away from the scam so they can recover. The best approach is to join a SCARS Scam Victims’ Support Group where we try to help victims develop a new sense of trust and community while focusing on their future.
Fixation of the scam and the scammer holds victims back from recovering and increases negative emotions.
These can lead to two potential problems:
Anger can turn to hate, and it can also lead to the need for revenge and vigilantism
It leads to a new obsession fixating on scams and scammers
A Scam Junkie
This is not a nice term. It is intended to be that. It is intended to get your attention!
When a victim replaces one obsession with another it takes on an addictive quality that can be very destructive.
During the scam, the victim’s brain was flooded with hormones that helped to trap the victim in the scam. After the scam, especially during the withdrawal period when the victim is returning to normal, the opportunity for compulsive behaviors remains. This can turn into a compulsive behavior to stay connected to scams and scammers.
What Is A Scam Junkie?
We know that scams – during the romance phase can lead to an addiction. It modifies your behavior, your thinking, just like an addiction, because it is one – based upon your addiction to endorphins and other hormones released by your brain.
In short, victims become dependent on what they get from the scammer. Horrible idea, but true.
What Happens When The Scam Is Over?
A victim should be going through the process of grief. This helps break the bonding with the scammer and allows the victim to refocus on reality.
BUT NOT EVERYONE DOES
Some substitute one dependency for another – an obsession with a scammer or obsession with scams and scammers in general. They just can’t let go.
This can also translate into another obsession – with the face in the photo. That is another obsessive behavior discussed here »
How To Know?
Most scam victims have anger issues after their scam, this is normal.
It is ok for a scam victim to use their desire to fight back (within reason), or a desire to help others avoid the traps they fell into.
But if a victim truly looks at what you are doing, and it is one of the following, or is it an obsession with the scammers themselves, then there may be a problem.
Becoming a Scam Junkie is both a form of desperation driven by fear – the fear of losing that final connection to the relationship that was there. But it is usually more than that.
PLEASE NOTE: Someone who is not obsessed may take on the responsibility to help others, and that might includes many of these indicators. The test is the degree that you can walk away from it when you need to without concern that you are missing something of not being connected to the scammers.
Here are several indicators to help identify someone that is compulsively and obsessively connected with scams and scammers:
Do you spend hours looking or searching for fake profiles?
Do you want to look at every scammer photo posted?
Do you go and hunt scammers?
Do you insist that you have to know the name of the real scammer behind the fake act?
Do you want to know and contact the real person in the photo?
Do you think these things make a difference?
Do you belong to numerous anti-scam groups on social media that constantly post scammer photos?
When someone tries to tell you that this behavior is preventing your recovery, does it make you angry?
If you answered yes to many of these then you may have just substituted one dependency for another.
You May Now Be Obsessed With Scams And Scammers
These can be ways of avoiding the hard truth about what happened to the victim and fighting against your recovery. Admitting the full extent of the scam, the victims’ participation in manipulation, and the results can be frightening. Obsessing about the scammers in these ways can be comforting.
The fact is that every victim made a bad decision by letting the scammer in and they now need to move forward and recover,
It is important to remember that the odds are no one will save you, and no one will get your money back.
Worse, all of that emotion that you invested in the scammer was based upon the scammer’s lies/deception. It is hard to take, every victim wants justice, many want revenge, and all victims want something or someone to help them make sense of it all. Fakes amateur anti-scam groups are good at making it sound like “exposing” scammers will make it all get better.
But it doesn’t make any sense, constant exposure to scams and scammers will actually harm a victim’s recovery.
Trauma is an emotional response to an intense event that threatens or causes harm. It is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one’s ability to cope with or accept the emotions involved with that experience. Almost every scam victim experiences significant trauma, even if they will not acknowledge it.
But trauma may result from recurring events of being overwhelmed such as by binging of scammer news. It can be precipitated over weeks, years, or even decades, as the person struggles to cope with the original crime circumstances, eventually leading to more serious, long-term negative consequences.
After a scam is over, we recommend a complete absence from looking at scams and scammers. Yes, you should learn about WHY & HOW scams happen to help you fill in the gaps in your knowledge and to help you avoid scams in the future, but not about day-to-day news.
Every victim has to learn how to let go – it is never easy – but it is necessary to learn how to accept that.
It starts by accepting three things:
You only allowed the stranger in the door, what followed was not your fault
You did not do this to yourself, it was done to you – you were expertly manipulated and deceived
Now you need to walk away. You need to move forward
A victim can’t recover if they constantly surround themselves with scammers (news, photos, etc.).
Once a victim has substantially recovered, and if they want to help others, then they can come back, but in the beginning, they have to stop looking at or for scammers and scams.
If they can’t do that on their own, they can join one of the SCARS professional support and recovery groups where people can help them keep it under control, and where they have other scam victims that know exactly what they are going through to talk to.
Stop Being A Scam Junkie – Make The Change And Get Help Now
There are many ways that victims can help themselves:
The content provided on this platform regarding psychological topics is intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. The publisher makes no representations or warranties regarding the accuracy or completeness of the information presented. The content is designed to raise awareness about various psychological subjects, and readers are strongly encouraged to conduct their own research and verify information independently.
The information presented does not constitute professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment of any psychological disorder or disease. It is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Readers are advised to seek the guidance of a licensed medical professional for any questions or concerns related to their mental health.
The publisher disclaims any responsibility for actions taken or not taken based on the content provided. The treatment of psychological issues is a serious matter, and readers should consult with qualified professionals to address their specific circumstances. The content on this platform is not intended to create, and receipt of it does not constitute, a therapist-client relationship.
Company (referred to as either “the Company”, “We”, “Us” or “Our” in this Disclaimer) refers to Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. (registered d.b.a. “SCARS”,) 9561 Fountainbleau Blvd., Suit 602, Miami FL 33172.
Service refers to the Website.
You means the individual accessing this website, or the company, or other legal entity on behalf of which such individual is accessing or using the Service, as applicable.
The information contained on this website is for general information purposes only.
The Company assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions in the contents of the Service.
In no event shall the Company be liable for any special, direct, indirect, consequential, or incidental damages or any damages whatsoever, whether in an action of contract, negligence or other tort, arising out of or in connection with the use of the Service or the contents of the Service. The Company reserves the right to make additions, deletions, or modifications to the contents on the Service at any time without prior notice.
The Company does not warrant this website in any way.
External Links Disclaimer
This website may contain links to external websites that are not provided or maintained by or in any way affiliated with the Company.
Please note that the Company does not guarantee the accuracy, relevance, timeliness, or completeness of any information on these external websites.
Errors and Omissions Disclaimer
The information given by SCARS is for general guidance on matters of interest only. Even if the Company takes every precaution to ensure that the content of this website is both current and accurate, errors can occur. Plus, given the changing nature of laws, rules, and regulations, there may be delays, omissions, or inaccuracies in the information contained on this website.
SCARS is not responsible for any errors or omissions, or for the results obtained from the use of this information.
Fair Use Disclaimer
SCARS may use copyrighted material that has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. The Company is making such material available for criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, or research.
The Company believes this constitutes a “fair use” of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the United States Copyright law.
If You wish to use copyrighted material from this website for your own purposes that go beyond fair use, You must obtain permission from the copyright owner.
Views Expressed Disclaimer
The Service may contain views and opinions which are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any other author, agency, organization, employer, or company, including SCARS.
Comments published by users are their sole responsibility and the users will take full responsibility, liability, and blame for any libel or litigation that results from something written in or as a direct result of something written in a comment. The Company is not liable for any comment published by users and reserves the right to delete any comment for any reason whatsoever.
No Responsibility Disclaimer
The information on the Service is provided with the understanding that the Company is not herein engaged in rendering legal, accounting, tax, medical or mental health, or other professional advice and services. As such, it should not be used as a substitute for consultation with professional accounting, tax, legal, medical or mental health, or other competent advisers.
In no event shall the Company, its team, board of directors, volunteers, or its suppliers be liable for any special, incidental, indirect, or consequential damages whatsoever arising out of or in connection with your access or use or inability to access or use the Service.
“Use at Your Own Risk” Disclaimer
All information on this website is provided “as is”, with no guarantee of completeness, accuracy, timeliness or of the results obtained from the use of this information, and without warranty of any kind, express or implied, including, but not limited to warranties of performance, merchantability, and fitness for a particular purpose.
SCARS will not be liable to You or anyone else for any decision made or action taken in reliance on the information given by the Service or for any consequential, special, or similar damages, even if advised of the possibility of such damages.
If you have any questions about this Disclaimer, You can contact Us:
The following specific modalities within the practice of psychology are restricted to psychologists appropriately trained in the use of such modalities:
Diagnosis: The diagnosis of mental, emotional, or brain disorders and related behaviors.
Psychoanalysis: Psychoanalysis is a type of therapy that focuses on helping individuals to understand and resolve unconscious conflicts.
Hypnosis: Hypnosis is a state of trance in which individuals are more susceptible to suggestion. It can be used to treat a variety of conditions, including anxiety, depression, and pain.
Biofeedback: Biofeedback is a type of therapy that teaches individuals to control their bodily functions, such as heart rate and blood pressure. It can be used to treat a variety of conditions, including stress, anxiety, and pain.
Behavioral analysis: Behavioral analysis is a type of therapy that focuses on changing individuals’ behaviors. It is often used to treat conditions such as autism and ADHD.
Neuropsychology: Neuropsychology is a type of psychology that focuses on the relationship between the brain and behavior. It is often used to assess and treat cognitive impairments caused by brain injuries or diseases.
SCARS and the members of the SCARS Team do not engage in any of the above modalities in relationship to scam victims. SCARS is not a mental healthcare provider and recognizes the importance of professionalism and separation between its work and that of the licensed practice of psychology.
SCARS is an educational provider of generalized self-help information that individuals can use for their own benefit to achieve their own goals related to emotional trauma. SCARS recommends that all scam victims see professional counselors or therapists to help them determine the suitability of any specific information or practices that may help them.
SCARS cannot diagnose or treat any individuals, nor can it state the effectiveness of any educational information that it may provide, regardless of its experience in interacting with traumatized scam victims over time. All information that SCARS provides is purely for general educational purposes to help scam victims become aware of and better understand the topics and to be able to dialog with their counselors or therapists.
It is important that all readers understand these distinctions and that they apply the information that SCARS may publish at their own risk, and should do so only after consulting a licensed psychologist or mental healthcare provider.
SCARS IS A DIGITAL PUBLISHER AND DOES NOT OFFER HEALTH OR MEDICAL ADVICE, LEGAL ADVICE, FINANCIAL ADVICE, OR SERVICES THAT SCARS IS NOT LICENSED OR REGISTERED TO PERFORM.
IF YOU’RE FACING A MEDICAL EMERGENCY, CALL YOUR LOCAL EMERGENCY SERVICES IMMEDIATELY, OR VISIT THE NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM OR URGENT CARE CENTER. YOU SHOULD CONSULT YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER BEFORE FOLLOWING ANY MEDICALLY RELATED INFORMATION PRESENTED ON OUR PAGES.
ALWAYS CONSULT A LICENSED ATTORNEY FOR ANY ADVICE REGARDING LEGAL MATTERS.
A LICENSED FINANCIAL OR TAX PROFESSIONAL SHOULD BE CONSULTED BEFORE ACTING ON ANY INFORMATION RELATING TO YOUR PERSONAL FINANCES OR TAX RELATED ISSUES AND INFORMATION.
SCARS IS NOT A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR – WE DO NOT PROVIDE INVESTIGATIVE SERVICES FOR INDIVIDUALS OR BUSINESSES. ANY INVESTIGATIONS THAT SCARS MAY PERFORM IS NOT A SERVICE PROVIDED TO THIRD-PARTIES. INFORMATION REPORTED TO SCARS MAY BE FORWARDED TO LAW ENFORCEMENT AS SCARS SEE FIT AND APPROPRIATE.
This content and other material contained on the website, apps, newsletter, and products (“Content”), is general in nature and for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or financial advice; the Content is not intended to be a substitute for licensed or regulated professional advice. Always consult your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider, lawyer, financial, or tax professional with any questions you may have regarding the educational information contained herein. SCARS makes no guarantees about the efficacy of information described on or in SCARS’ Content. The information contained is subject to change and is not intended to cover all possible situations or effects. SCARS does not recommend or endorse any specific professional or care provider, product, service, or other information that may be mentioned in SCARS’ websites, apps, and Content unless explicitly identified as such.
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.