SCARS™ Insight: Good vs. Bad While Recovering

(Last Updated On: March 24, 2022)

SCARS™ Insight: Good vs. Bad While Recovering

After The Scam, Many Victims Choose To Recover – Sadly, Most Do Not!

Only about 30% of victims will choose to recover from the scam emotionally, the remaining victims will either hide in their denial or allow anger to run their lives.

Even those that have chosen to recover face constant challenges and consequences of continuing bad behaviors.

However, to help victims learn to recover we have to be clear about what is positive behavior vs. negative behavior!


Especially in the context of a scam victims’ recovery?

Positive behavior is changing the behaviors and attitudes that got you scammed!

A major part of recovering is about avoiding scams & scammers. It is about not letting yourself be put in situations where you have to make a judgment call about whether something is safe or not. Because that did not work so well the last time.

It is preventing or not allowing yourself contact with your past temptations, because MOST victims will be scammed more than once.

Negative behavior is repeating dangerous behaviors and being overconfident!

It is trusting your attitude and determination alone. It is thinking that just because you believe you can’t be scammed again that you will not. That attitude will fail you again and again.

One of the worst negative behaviors is that you continue to allow access to strangers. It is about reading the messages they send you. It is responding when they do. These are not good things.


But After Almost 29 Years We Know It Is Not True

88% of alcoholics relapse. Only 12% successfully recover. It is about the same for drug addicts. It is not about wanting to recover, it is about preventing their recovery with continued dangerous behavior.

Resisting a scammer is better than nothing, but by putting yourself in that position over and over you run the risk of being scammed again. Scammers are not so much smart as they are relentless.

There are thousands of different approaches, and once they know you will not fall for one approach they will try others.


They already know that you are susceptible to being scammed. In that regard you are like an addict, an addict is an addict for life. A scam victim remains a scam victim until they learn to not be one, and even then you can still be scammed.

YOU have to admit to yourself that you were scammed and you can be again. Everyone is scammed on some level all the time – when you buy a product and then get it and ask yourself what you were thinking? – you were scammed. There are countless examples of things we buy or do or say where we did not think it through and it turned out to be false – these were scams of one kind or another.

You Have To Acknowledge That You Do Not Know How To Recognize A Scam All The Time

Yes, maybe you can now recognize some scams now but certainly not all or even most.

The first thing you must understand is you cannot think your way out of scans. You have to change your behavior to prevent it or at least reduce the risk. Avoiding scams is the best way to not be scammed.

Avoiding all contact with strangers is the most important element in your defense.

Do not allow yourself to talk with a stranger and nothing will happening, because if you keep talking with them eventually it will.

This Is About The Numbers – The Average Victim Is Scammed Nearly Three Times!

Think about that – average – that means some are scammed once and some are scammed many many times. What is the difference between them? Eliminating risk in their lives and not relying on intellectual thought. Any security expert will tell you that safe habits make more of a difference than being smart.

Also, 70% of victims never recover from scams. They either remain in denial and stay emotionally broken or they let anger rule their lives.

Are you in the 70%? Or The 30% That Recover?

The way you know is if you work at your recovery and learn to not allow yourself to become a victim again. It is not attitude, it is actions.

Each event is a potential lesson. That is the point of this website and our support groups and the recovery process itself so that each person can learn from each other.

As much as support groups are a social group it is also a recovery group and there are hard truths and lessons to be learned. The foundation of why join a real support group is to recover and we will do what we can to help that become a reality for each person in our support groups. But remember that most groups online are amateurs and incompetent. We are a registered professional crime victims’ assistance and support organization, and one of only 3 or 4 in the world. If you want to join one of our support groups just let us know.

But For Now! Stop Talking To Strangers. Period!


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SCARS the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated


A SCARS Division
Miami Florida U.S.A.



TAGS: SCARS, Important Article, Information About Scams, Anti-Scam, Scam Victim Behaviors, Bad for Recovery, Good Behavioral Changes, Recovering From A Romance Scam, SCARS™ Insight

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FAQ: How Do You Properly Report Scammers?

It is essential that law enforcement knows about scams & scammers, even though there is nothing (in most cases) that they can do.

Always report scams involving money lost or where you received money to:

  1. Local Police – ask them to take an “informational” police report – say you need it for your insurance
  2. U.S. State Police (if you live in the U.S.) – they will take the matter more seriously and provide you with more help than local police
  3. Your National Police or FBI « »
  4. The SCARS|CDN™ Cybercriminal Data Network – Worldwide Reporting Network « HERE » or on « »

This helps your government understand the problem, and allows law enforcement to add scammers on watch lists worldwide.

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Visit our NEW Main SCARS Facebook page for much more information about scams and online crime: « »


To learn more about SCARS visit « »

Please be sure to report all scammers
« HERE » or on « »


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