
SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years

The Face In The Photo Is Not The Person(s) That Scammed You
The Scammers That Engage In These Crime Steal Thousands Of Identities
Please Leave The Real Person Alone!
We are constantly asked by victims to identify the person in the photo that they fell in love with
Scam victims commonly want to save them by telling them that their photos are being used, telling them how they feel, or telling them their photo is being used by scammers.
Trust us, they already know their photos have been stolen by scammers!
Please Understand This!
For romance scam victims, the emotional pull to contact the person in the stolen photos used by the scammer can be incredibly strong. However, doing so can be detrimental for several reasons:
1. Further Emotional Harm to YOU:
- Reopening Emotional Wounds: Victims are often emotionally vulnerable and seeking closure. Contacting the person in the stolen photos may reopen wounds, reviving feelings of betrayal, embarrassment, and emotional trauma from the scam.
- Disruption of Healing: Victims are in the process of healing and moving on from the scam. Reaching out to the individual in the photos might disrupt this process, causing additional confusion and emotional distress.
- False Hope: Contacting the real person often leads to disappointment and even further heartache. The individual likely is aware that their photos are being used, but knows nothing about your scam and cannot help you. This can shatter the victim’s remaining hope and exacerbate feelings of betrayal.
- Deeper Emotional Investment: Engaging with the real person, even through brief interactions, can deepen the victim’s emotional attachment to the fabricated persona created by the scammer. This can make moving on and healing even more challenging.
2. Real Identity vs. Scammer’s Fiction:
- Understanding the Reality: Victims often believe the scammer’s false narrative about the person in the stolen photos. However, contacting the actual individual reveals the truth, shattering the fabricated story created by the scammer.
- Potential Confusion and Misunderstanding: The person in the photos is an innocent victim of identity theft. They have no connection to the scam. Attempting to involve them in the situation might lead to confusion, misunderstanding, and discomfort for the innocent party.
3. Increased Risk of Victimization:
- Scammers Exploit Vulnerability: Scam artists are adept at manipulating emotions. Reaching out to the real person might alert the scammer to the victim’s emotional state, making them vulnerable to further manipulation or even threats.
- Potential Legal or Security Risks: Trying to track down the person in the photos might involve engaging in online activities that could expose the victim to additional security risks or even legal issues – technically when the victim tracks down the person in the photos is engaged in cyberstalking.
4. Unwanted Contact for the Unwitting Photo Subject:
- Privacy Violation: Reaching out to the real person can be a significant intrusion into their privacy. They may feel harassed or even traumatized by being involved in the scam without their consent.
- Emotional Burden: The real person might already be dealing with their own struggles and may not have the emotional bandwidth to support a grieving scam victim.
5. Legal and Ethical Implications:
- Privacy Violation: Reaching out to the person in the photos can intrude upon their privacy and personal space, causing unintended distress to someone who has no involvement in the scam.
- Possible Legal Ramifications: In some cases, attempting to contact the person in the stolen photos can have legal implications related to harassment, privacy breaches, cyberstalking, or defamation, potentially complicating the victim’s situation further.
This is going to Sound Harsh
But you have to remember that if you try to track them down and contact them you can be doing real harm to another victim and their family.
Remember, that Face is Fake!
It is not a person – it is a fabrication. It is a lie and a fraud.
We understand that you are fixated on that face, but the real person is a victim too, and does not want to hear from anyone.
Almost all of the time, the person in the photo already knows they are being used by scammers because they are constantly contacted by people claiming to be in love with them, or wanting them to know all about their scam experience.
The Impersonation Victim
They do Not Want to Hear from You, because they are also a Victim
Anyone that does not accept this, and tries to contact the person pictured is causing just as much harm as the scammer. The people who have been impersonated do not want to hear from other victims. Their lives have been ruined by the scammer as much as yours has. All you will be doing is driving home how they have lost control of their face or their identity, causing more trauma in the process.
They want to be left alone. Some of them are hounded by victims constantly telling them how much they love them. Some get multiple calls a day about this.
You Don’t Know that Person – You have just seen Their Photo
While this sounds harsh and brutal, it is a reality of romance scams. You fall in love with a stolen photo from a real person and proceed to develop a fantasy relationship with them.
- In reality, you were lied to by the person or scam team hiding behind the photo.
- You have to accept this and move on. Focus only on yourself and your own recovery. Obsessing on the face in the photo is a path to obsession and madness.
- You need to get over the scam, you cannot help anyone else at this stage. You need to focus on your own recovery and forget that face – hard as that is.
- Additionally, obsessing about the face (and the real person behind it) can be considered cyberstalking, which is a crime in itself, so don’t go there.
It Doesn’t Matter Who He or She is, His or Her Photo was Stolen by Scammers
You have to understand that you do not have a relationship with a real person. They really do not want to hear from you. Hundreds of thousands of victims invade their lives. Can you imagine what it is like to have so many people stalk them or track them down and try to inject themselves into their life?
Accept that You were Scammed
- Accept that there was no relationship
- Accept that everything was a lie
- Accept the pain and use it to recover
- Accept that you will make it through this
- Accept that it just takes time
Just don’t make it worse by tracking down another poor soul and making their life miserable in the process.
Alternative ways to cope with the emotional aftermath of a romance scam:
- Focus on Self-Care: Prioritize activities that nurture your well-being and emotional recovery, like spending time with loved ones, engaging in hobbies, or seeking professional help.
- Connect with Supportive Communities: Connect with other scam victims through SCARS online support groups or through trauma counseling.
- Remember the Scammer’s Deception: Remind yourself that the person in the photos was not involved in the scam and deserves their privacy. The true perpetrators are the scammers who deliberately deceived you.
Remember, the person in the photos is an unwitting victim just like you. Reaching out might not bring the closure you seek and could potentially cause further harm to both yourself and the person whose identity was stolen. Focus on your healing journey and seek support from trusted sources who can help you navigate this difficult experience.
More:
- Recovery Psychology: There Is No “He” Or “She” In Romance Scams – 2021 [UPDATED 2023] (romancescamsnow.com)
- Reclaiming Your Worth: A Scam Survivor’s Guide to Navigating Your Worthiness After a Scam – 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- Trauma & Nutritional Health – Take Your Vitamins – 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- SCARS 5 Coping Techniques For Traumatized Scam Victims – 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- Psychological Triggers/Emotional Triggers – What They Are And How They Work – 2023/2024 (scamsnow.com)
- Understanding Criminality – What Is Its Essence? 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- Filling The Victim Void After The Fake Relationship Is Gone 2023 (scamsnow.com)
- What Really Are Vulnerabilities That Lead To Scams? (scamsnow.com)
- Recovering From Scams (romancescamsnow.com)
- Recovery & Support (romancescamsnow.com)
- The Psychology of Scams (romancescamsnow.com)
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
Do You Need Support?
Get It Now!
SCARS provides the leading Support & Recovery program for relationship scam victims – completely FREE!
Our managed peer support groups allow victims to talk to other survivors and recover in the most experienced environment possible, for as long as they need. Recovery takes as long as it takes – we put no limits on our support!
SCARS is the most trusted support & education provider in the world. Our team is certified in trauma-informed care, grief counseling, and so much more!
To apply to join our groups visit support.AgainstScams.org
We also offer separate support groups for family & friends too.
Become a
SCARS STAR™ Member
SCARS offers memberships in our STAR program, which includes many benefits for a very low annual membership fee!
SCARS STAR Membership benefits include:
- FREE Counseling or Therapy Benefit from our partner BetterHelp.com
- Exclusive members-only content & publications
- Discounts on SCARS Self-Help Books Save
- And more!
To learn more about the SCARS STAR Membership visit membership.AgainstScams.org
To become a SCARS STAR Member right now visit join.AgainstScams.org
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Table of Contents
- The Face In The Photo Is Not The Scammer
- Scam Victims Leave The Real Person Alone!
- The Face In The Photo Is Not The Person(s) That Scammed You
- Please Leave The Real Person Alone!
- Please Understand This!
- This is going to Sound Harsh
- Remember, that Face is Fake!
- The Impersonation Victim
- Accept that You were Scammed
- More:
- Statement About Victim Blaming
- Do You Need Support?
Get It Now! - Become a
SCARS STAR™ Member - Scam Victim Self-Help Do-It-Yourself Recovery Books
- SCARS Printed Books For Every Scam Survivor From SCARS Publishing
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.
I am a professional victim, I believe all people are good, I was scammed by hackers but smart enough to not give money out this time, first time I lost 2000dollars but actually I wanted this person to be real even though red flags went up I carried through with sending money I had a name address and instructions as how to send cash, I sent it knowing full well it was a scam, But I had fell for the image and even after all loss of income, I still have a soft spot for the man in the photos, I hope one day I could meet the man behind the uniform, I understand he retired in 2013,
If you are interested in recovering from this experience please visit http://www.ScamVictimsSupport.org to learn what you need to know now.
It was very difficult at first to accept that the person who you thought was communicating with you turned out to be a victim too. It helped drive home the realization that it was all a lie.
This is a hard one to accept after seeing so many photos matching the story I was being told. However I was probably just being told a story that matches the photo. Still, I know it s best to just move on and focus on recovery.
Hello I found your site via tin eye a photo I loaded had lots of hits anyway I’ve been trying to locate her photo here but can’t find it I also thought of posting the scammers photos but again I haven’t as yet found out how.
Also of interest to you I have a whole lots of scammers photos which im happy to give you and what back story I can remember.
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