Do You Hate Your Scammer?

Do You Hate Your ScammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer.?

Hate Is An Incredibly Destructive Emotion That Prevents Recovery After A ScamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost.!

A SCARSSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS. Insight

Why Do You Hate Your Scammer?

Originally Published 2018 / Updated September 2021

We Have A Few Serious Questions For Scam Victims:

  • Do You Know Who Your Scammer Is?

  • Do You Hate Your Scammer?

  • Can You Ever ForgiveForgiveness What Is Forgiveness? Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. Your Scammer?

  • When You Say To Yourself That You Can’t Forgive Your Scammer, Do You Even Know Who Your Scammer Is?

For most of you (especially victims of African Scammers), the answers are NO!

You do not really know who your scammer is or was – in most cases because the scammers almost never reveal their real identities.

For most of you, it IS NOT ONE PERSON who scammed you

It was most probably an organization and not one person.

For the vast majority, all that you know for sure is a Fake Face. A stolen photo that you fell for, right?

You may have a name that you sent money to, even multiple names but that is NOT likely your scammer:

  • You may have sent money to a muleMule A money mule sometimes called a "smurfer," is a person who transfers money acquired illegally (e.g., stolen) in person, through a courier service, or electronically, on behalf of others (usually criminals that they are knowingly or unknowingly affiliated). Typically, the mule is paid for services with a small part of the money transferred - but not always. Mules may or may not be aware that they are performing these actions. Money mules are often dupes recruited online for what they think is legitimate employment, not aware that the money they are transferring is the product of crime. The money is transferred from the mule's account to the scam operator, typically in another country. Similar techniques are used to transfer illegal merchandise. Mules can be prosecuted for numerous crimes. – another victim duped into accepting and forwarding money to the scammer
  • A pickup person, used by the scammers to pick up money
  • A mole in the Western Union, MoneyGram, etc. in Africa or elsewhere
  • Or even another fake name in Africa (or elsewhere) since it is up to the money transfer agency to verify identities, and they have their own team working in them
  • Or just a fake name you gave gift cards to
  • Even bank accounts that you wire money to is no guarantee since scammers have infiltrated banks in many countries
  • In other words, a cog in their organization

Very rarely does a scammer pick up their own money and use a real name – this only happens with the independent scammers that are either alone or in a small gangGang A gang is normally a group or society of associated criminals with a defined leadership and internal organization that identifies with or claims control over a territory or business practice in a community and engages, either individually or collectively, in illegal, and possibly violent, behavior. Online gangs are not limited by territory and may operate side by side with other gangs while engaging in crime online. Some members of criminal gangs are initiated (by going through a process of initiation), or have to prove their loyalty and right to belong by committing certain acts, usually theft or violence, or rituals. Gangs are usually rougher and more visible than scammer cartels, and more often arrested..

Most Of You Will Never Know Who Your Scammer Really Is, Even If You Think You Do

Remember they are scammers and liars in everything they say! That means they lie even if you think they are finally telling you the truth. They are professional criminals.

So Let Us Ask You, Do You Hate Your Scammer?

Do you hate where they come from, such as Ghana or Nigeria, or Ivory Coast, or Liberia, or Kenya, or Benin, or India?

Do you hate all of Africa or India because of what was done to you?

What if the scammer was from a different country? Such as the Philippines, or China, or Malaysia, or Indonesia, or Russia, or Ukraine, or Jamaica? Because there are different major organizations of scammers in all of those countries and far more too.

So do you hate China? How about Germany? How about Japan? Do you hate Mexico? Do you hate the Philippines? Or India?

Not only just scamming, but each of these other countries has also taken from you by their competition with your country in some way and took jobs from one place to another. Or they offer cheap products that killed manufacturers in your country.

So, Do You Hate Them?

You probably do not, but some of you DO. What is the difference?

The Difference Is That You Personally Gave In To The Scam

The difference is that IT WAS NOT ONLY something that was done to you, IT WAS something you participated in doing to yourself also. We are not blamingBlaming Blame or Blaming is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong, their action is blameworthy. By contrast, when someone is morally responsible for doing something right, we may say that his or her action is praiseworthy. Blame imparts responsibility for an action or act, as in that they made a choice to perform that act or action. you, just stating the obvious fact – you made a mistake and you had a role in allowing the scam to begin. After it began then you lost control to the manipulation you suffered.

So You Hate Your Scammers And All Scammers

The problem is that if you cannot forgive your scammer – it is mainly because you have not forgiven yourself. When you hate your scammer you are still hating yourself for allowing this to happen. How does that help you recover from this?

When are you going to let it go? When are you going to forgive yourself for what the scammers did to you?

It is something you must do. To recover emotionally, psychologically, you must forgive yourself – for real and really mean it.

This is a significant part of the SCARS Recovery Process.

It Is For Your Benefit, Not Ours

Right now you are probably filled with hate, and angerAnger Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability., and loathing for your scammer and everything they represent. But that hate will consume you if you don’t control it, channel it, and eventually retire it.

It is normal to be angry and even to hate what was done to you, but it is really not about the scammer, it is about you.

Don’t do it if you can’t or if it is insincere. Don’t forgive someone or something just to say you did it.

EVERYONE who is a scam victim needs to be focused on their recovery and a sense of common community. Recovery is your most important goal after you are scammed. The money is gone, the relationship was never real, everything you were told was a lie, but the feelings left behind are only too real. And they need to be dealt with.

You wanted the relationship to be real. Many victims cling to that for months after the scam ends. But that is under YOUR CONTROL!

If you really still hate then you need to take that out, hold it in your hand and ask yourself:

“What Do I Really Want Now?”

Do you want to recover and move on with your life, hard though that may be, or stay frozen and only live for your hate?

If you want to hold on to your hate, then we cannot help you. You will need the services of a professional mental healthMental health Mental health, defined by the World Health Organization (WHO), is "a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community". According to WHO, mental health includes "subjective well-being, perceived self-efficacy, autonomy, competence, intergenerational dependence, and self-actualization of one's intellectual and emotional potential, among others". From the perspectives of positive psychology or of holism, mental health may include an individual's ability to enjoy life and to create a balance between life activities and efforts to achieve psychological resilience. Cultural differences, subjective assessments, and competing professional theories all affect how one defines "mental health". counselor or therapist. You can find a directory of them here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/trauma-and-ptsd

This Is A Very Serious Question!

Only YOU know the answer!

But each of you should be honest with yourself and your loved ones about this. Yes, your loved ones too because your scam did not only affect you alone. ScamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. take a huge toll on families and friends.

This is a chance for you to look at yourself seriously on this question and make decisions. Maybe it is too early. If your scam ended less than a month ago, you are not yet at a place where you can probably think and honestly in these terms, as time passes it provides you with more perspective and the pain dulls.

But don’t do it if you do not really feel it. If you are still very angry at the scammer and yourself, you are not ready for recovery. Just understand that you can not be a SurvivorSurvivor A Scam Survivor is a victim who has been able to fully accept the reality of their situation. That they were the victim of a crime and are not to blame. They are working on their emotional recovery and reduction of any trauma either on their own, through a qualified support organization, or through counseling or therapy. And has done their duty and reported the crime to their local police, national police, and on Anyscam.com until you release your hate, and begin to forgive yourself.

So what will it be? Will you accept the challenge?

Will You Forgive Yourself For Real?

Understand that we ALL understand what it is like, and the universe gives you permission to forgive yourself.

At least think about this?

If You Want Help To Recover:

We offer many different Scam Victim related Recovery and Support GroupsSupport Groups In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers.. SCARS is a registered Online Crime Victims Assistance & Support Organization (you can see that in our header). We have groups for many different needs and situations. We invite you to join one of our groups online (on Facebook) to become part of a community of SurvivorsSurvivor A Scam Survivor is a victim who has been able to fully accept the reality of their situation. That they were the victim of a crime and are not to blame. They are working on their emotional recovery and reduction of any trauma either on their own, through a qualified support organization, or through counseling or therapy. And has done their duty and reported the crime to their local police, national police, and on Anyscam.com.

Our Groups allow people committed to their recovery into each group and we make sure there are no inappropriate people as well (such as scammers). They are secure places where no one will judge you because they are communities of people like you – they know what it feels like.

  • Each Support GroupSupport Group In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers. is private and confidential to just that group and our team (our employees and volunteers)
  • Each group is its own community of fellow survivors providing support to each other
  • Each group is governed by the SCARS Code of Conduct, the NOVA Standard for Crime Victims Assistance, and our own policies to keep you safe
  • Each group is very international so you can compare experiences with others from around the world, and it also means someone is available around the clock
  • We offer groups in English and Spanish ourselves, but other SCARS Partners & Affiliates offer them in many other languages as well throughout Europe and Asia
  • If you are not ready for a support group, it is ok. When you are ready we will be here!

Essential Tools For Every Scam Victim From SCARS Publishing

Visit shop.AgainstScams.org

Each is based on our SCARS Team’s 31 plus years of experience.

SCARS Website Visitors get an Extra 10% Discount
Use Discount Code “romanacescamsnow” at Checkout

SCARS GREN BOOK - The SCARS STEPS Guide to Scam Victim Recovery
SCARS RED BOOK - Your Personal Scam Evidence & Crime Record Organizer
SCARS BLUE BOOK - Survivor's Recovery Journal
SCARS SLATE BOOK - A Guide For Families & Friends Of Scam Victims
SCARS LIME BOOK - Wisdom & Motivation for Scam Victims
SCARS CHERRY BOOK - A Guide To Understanding Your Fear
SCARS WORKBOOK - 8 Steps To Improvement
SCARS WORKBOOK - Understanding Self-Blame, Guilt, and Shame
100% of all profit goes to support FREE Scam Victims' Services

100% of all profit goes to help SCARS help more scam victims worldwide.

Your generous purchase allows us to maintain our scam avoidance, support, and recovery services. Please help SCARS and stand proud.

Always Report All Scams – Anywhere In The World To:

U.S. FTCFTC The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) is an independent agency of the United States government whose principal mission is the enforcement of civil (non-criminal) U.S. antitrust law and the promotion of consumer protection. The FTC can also act as a clearinghouse for criminal reports sent to other agencies for investigation and prosecution. To learn more visit www.FTC.gov or to report fraud visit ReportFraud.FTC.gov at https://reportfraud.ftc.gov/#/?orgcode=SCARS and SCARS at www.Anyscams.com

Find Real Scammer & Fake Stolen Photos On ScamsONLINE.org
The SCARS Scammer Photo Gallery Website
Click Here To Donate To SCARS

Scroll to the bottom to leave a comment!

Your Feedback!

Please share your feedback below. Hearing from victims helps us refine our knowledge about scammer’s processes and methods, and then be able to better share factual authoritative information with victims worldwide. Please scroll down and share your thoughts and comments. What you think and experienced matters.

Please Share:

Please share our articles and knowledge with your friends & family. This is important!

Help others stay safe online – your knowledge can make the difference for both those being groomed and victims! The next victim might be your own family member or best friend!

SCARS the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated

By the SCARS™ Editorial Team
Society of Citizens Against Relationship ScamsSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS. Inc.

A Worldwide Crime Victims Assistance & Crime Prevention Nonprofit Organization Headquartered In Miami Florida USA & Monterrey NL Mexico, with Partners In More Than 60 Countries
To Learn More, Volunteer, or Donate Visit: www.AgainstScams.org
Contact Us: Contact@AgainstScams.org

Latest & Updated SCARS RomanceScamsNow.com Posts:

SCARS Webinar: Money Mules

SCARS Webinar: Money MulesMoney mules Money mules are a type of money laundering where a person transfers illicit funds through a medium (such as a bank account) to obfuscate where the money came from. There are different types of money mules including witting, unwitting, and complicit. [VIDEO] Understanding How Victims Are [...]

SCARS Webinar: Romance Scams #1 – Pig Butchering Fraud & Military Impersonation Fraud [VIDEO]

SCARS Webinar: Romance Scams #1 [VIDEO] Pig ButcheringPig Butchering Sha Zhu Pan 殺主盤 “Pig Butchering” This is a scam type that originated in China involving the scammer developing a relationship with the victim - sometimes romantic sometimes not - and leading the victim to invest in a fake company or asset. These typically target smart younger women. FraudFraud In law, fraud is intentional deception to secure unfair or unlawful gain (money or other assets), or to deprive a victim of a legal right. Fraud can violate civil law (e.g., a fraud victim may sue the fraud perpetrator to avoid the fraud or recover monetary compensation) or criminal law (e.g., a fraud perpetrator may be prosecuted and imprisoned by governmental authorities), or it may cause no loss of money, property, or legal right but still be an element of another civil or criminal wrong. The purpose of fraud may be monetary gain or other benefits, for example by obtaining a passport, travel document, or driver's license, or mortgage fraud, where the perpetrator may attempt to qualify for a mortgage by way of false statements. A fraud can also be a hoax, which is a distinct concept that involves deliberate deception without the intention of gain or of materially damaging or depriving a victim. [...]

The World Online Is Not Safe For Those That Don’t Know!

REPORT-BLOCK-RECOVER

The Issue Of Race In Scam Reporting
Click Here To Learn More!

FIND SCAMMER PHOTOS ON
SCARSONLINE.ORG

FIND SCARS ON FACEBOOK
CLICK HERE

Disclaimer:

SCARS IS A DIGITAL PUBLISHER AND DOES NOT OFFER HEALTH OR MEDICAL ADVICE, LEGAL ADVICE, FINANCIAL ADVICE, OR SERVICES THAT SCARS IS NOT LICENSED OR REGISTERED TO PERFORM.

IN MANY SCARS ARTICLES, WE MENTION TOPICS INCLUDING TRAUMATrauma Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. Psychological trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away. It can also leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people. Traumatic experiences often involve a threat to life or safety or other emotional shocks, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can result in trauma, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm. It’s not the objective circumstances that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized. Trauma requires treatment, either through counseling or therapy or through trauma-oriented support programs, such as those offered by SCARS., ABUSE, SELF-HARM, SUICIDALITY, RISKY BEHAVIORBehavior   Behavior / Behavioral Actions Otherwise known as habits, behavior or behavioral actions are strategies to help prevent online exploitation that target behavior, such as social engineering of victims. Changing your behavior is the ONLY effective means to reduce or prevent scams., DISORDERS, ADDICTION, AND OTHER PSYCHOLOGICAL CONDITIONS. THE INFORMATION IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE. ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PHYSICIAN OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH PROVIDERS WITH ANY QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE.

IF YOU’RE FACING A MEDICAL EMERGENCY, CALL YOUR LOCAL EMERGENCY SERVICES IMMEDIATELY, OR VISIT THE NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM OR URGENT CARE CENTER. YOU SHOULD CONSULT YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER BEFORE FOLLOWING ANY MEDICALLY RELATED INFORMATION PRESENTED ON OUR PAGES.

ALWAYS CONSULT A LICENSED ATTORNEY FOR ANY ADVICE REGARDING LEGAL MATTERS.

A LICENSED FINANCIAL OR TAX PROFESSIONAL SHOULD BE CONSULTED BEFORE ACTING ON ANY INFORMATION RELATING TO YOUR PERSONAL FINANCES OR TAX RELATED ISSUES AND INFORMATION.

This content and other material contained on the website, appsApps Applications or Apps An application (software), commonly referred to as an ‘app’ is a program on a computer, tablet, mobile phone or device. Apps are designed for specific tasks, including checking the weather, accessing the internet, looking at photos, playing media, mobile banking, etc. Many apps can access the internet if needed and can be downloaded (used) either for a price or for free. Apps are a major point of vulnerability on all devices. Some are designed to be malicious, such as logging keystrokes or activity, and others can even transport malware. Always be careful about any app you are thinking about installing., newsletter, and products (“Content”), is general in nature and for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or financial advice; the Content is not intended to be a substitute for licensed or regulated professional advice. Always consult your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider, lawyer, financial, or tax professional with any questions you may have regarding the educational information contained herein. SCARS makes no guarantees about the efficacy of information described on or in SCARS’ Content. The information contained is subject to change and is not intended to cover all possible situations or effects. SCARS does not recommend or endorse any specific professional or care provider, product, service, or other information that may be mentioned in SCARS’ websites, apps, and Content unless explicitly identified as such.

The disclaimers herein are provided on this page for ease of reference. These disclaimers supplement and are a part of SCARS’ website’s Terms of Use

Legal Notices: 

All original content is Copyright © 1991 – 2021 Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. (D.B.A SCARS) All Rights Reserved Worldwide & Webwide. Third-party copyrights acknowledge.

SCARS, SCARS|INTERNATIONAL, SCARS, SCARS|SUPPORT, SCARS, RSN, Romance Scams Now, SCARS|INTERNATION, SCARS|WORLDWIDE, SCARS|GLOBAL, SCARS, Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams, Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams, SCARS|ANYSCAM, Project Anyscam, Anyscam, SCARS|GOFCH, GOFCH, SCARS|CHINA, SCARS|CDN, SCARS|UK, SCARS|LATINOAMERICA, SCARS|MEMBER, SCARS|VOLUNTEER, SCARS Cybercriminal Data Network, Cobalt Alert, Scam Victims Support Group, SCARS ANGELS, SCARS RANGERS, SCARS MARSHALLS, SCARS PARTNERS, are all trademarks of Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc., All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Contact the law firm for the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated by email at legal@AgainstScams.org

2022-03-25T04:47:08-04:00September 29th, 2021|Categories: Scam Victim Recovery|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Share This Information - Choose Your Social Media!

Leave A Comment

Go to Top