Last Updated on by SCARS Editorial Team
The RSN Guide To Being A Victim
This Is One Of Those Things That No One Will Tell You To Your Face!
Every day we are contacted by hundreds of victims – sometimes more than a thousand.
We deal with people during one of the worst times in their lives.
They have been violated and abused, and now they need help.
We get it. We know – because our team have been victims too.
We do our best to help every victim that comes to us.
We help those that are in shock.
We help those that are in pain.
We help those that are afraid.
But we can’t help those that are in a rageRage Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability..
Supporting a victim is about compassion and understanding, it is also about communication and guidance.
Unfortunately angry victims will not accept information and guidance. It makes it very difficult to help them.
Why are we posting this?
Because we hope that every victim will recognize their level of angerAnger Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability., and if they are enraged and in hate, then they can please dial it down so we can help them.
They may not like the situation they are in, but we did not create that situation.
They may not want the result that they are going to get, but after a scamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. there are only a few options.
They may feel entitled to everything from getting their money back to getting the scammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer. investigated and arrested. But it just doesn’t happen that way most of the time.
We are professionals at what we do (SCARSSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS./RSN Staff, our Volunteers, and SCARS Members), and we know how to support online crime victims.
But recognize that for the victim this is their first time being a scam victim – by definition that means they are amateurs at it.
Lots of people will try to leverage their anger, such as the scammer hate groups galore, but that is not what they need.
They need to understand that they can be helped with information, guidance, and support. But that is about the limit of anyone, including the FBIFBI FBI - Federal Bureau of Investigation The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is the domestic intelligence and security service of the United States and its principal federal law enforcement agency. Operating under the jurisdiction of the United States Department of Justice, the FBI is also a member of the U.S. Intelligence Community and reports to both the Attorney General and the Director of National Intelligence. A leading U.S. counter-terrorism, counterintelligence, and criminal investigative organization, the FBI has jurisdiction over violations of more than 200 categories of federal crimes, including financial fraud. or local police.
The money is not coming back (in almost all cases).
The scammer is not going to be immediately arrested.
But victims still have responsibilities and obligations to themselves and to the people that are helping them – be it our team or other victims who have been through the same crisis and come out the other end. Respect and courtesy being the biggest essential of those.
Reporting scammers is a part of this. Just think about how much effort each victim put into the fake romance? Reporting only takes a few minutes – certainly no big deal – and it can lead to future arrests, or more importantly helping others learn from victims’ mistakes.
If they don’t want our help and want to go it on their own, we respect that, but please do not leave smoking ruins in their path. The people that are trying to help you deserve better than that.
We know this is hard, but with help it can be made better. With anger it can only be worse because the support people will walk away and you will be completely on your own to face it alone.
Chose wisely. Chose respect, and let us help you.
RSN/SCARS
Nobody cares when your old and have been scammed, mentally abused, and left for dead by your family. What’s the use in trying anymore.
Okay, I hear your loud and clear. I got pass the angerAnger Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam.
A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically.
Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability. and naturally it takes time to get over the hurt. I have reported the crime but I realized I wasn’t ready to go back on Facebook and help others on prevention. It was too painful and I didn’t have all my facts together. Now that I’m doing much better and have a better understanding I can go back with the correct information and refile my complaint. I need to be careful that I don’t have hatred and revenge in my heart and mind. I spent my whole life helping people which lead to me getting scammed in the first place. This good hearted lady finished last and was never first in life. So please understand if it’s taking me a little time to go back on Facebook and help others because my so called friends saw this happening to me and said nothing and done nothing. All around me including family just wanted to know when I was available to help them or get involved with them in some organization. Now they don’t see me nor hear from me. They all are on that same list” scammers, fraudsters and users”. Now I proudly move on to working with those that are in serious need of help and getting paid for it. I have to get paid now those fraudsters and scammers got all my money and left me in debt. My most expensive lesson in life. Sometimes bad things in life can bring positive good things for you. It helped open up my eyes and made me realize I was headed down a bad road from the start. People that I trusted was turning me everyway but lose for their own selfish gains. So sorry that I had to hit rock bottom first. Today is a brighter day and with God’s grace so will tomorrow too. Not feeling guilty at all for once putting me first and being a just a little selfish for a change. Now I am taking care of myself being responsible and holding myself accountable for all that I do, especially that I now know better. In a few more weeks I’ll be back on Facebook with your. Thanks for caring and sharing most of all your support.
Very Good Tammy. Be sure to take a look at our Guide on How To Rescue Victims as well for an approach you can use. Feel free to reach out to us on Facebook so we can bring you into one of Victims Support GroupsSupport Groups In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers. that you would find helpful.
By the way, have you found it helpful to write about your experience? You might want to consider a blog on http://www.WordPress.com for your own personal recovery.
All the best.
I don’t want my money back, I never wanted. every time I was scammed I gave the less I had at that time I didn’t know what a scammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer. was or is. I really did once for love. I was really in love truly speaking I think I still am! We lost our contact in time and someone takes advantage of this fact for telling me he had passed away. At that moment I felt and feel devasted.
I deal with scammers since 2015 but only in 2017, I start to recognize the way they right, the way they love, they married. they need to be close to us its the only way they find to have an easy way to ask to apply for vacations in the case of the militaries. after apply for vacations came an email with a bunch of excuses to send money.
But I only realize that this kind of guys have a name last year in a google search and I get to your site. I gave my first step in Cobalt Alert but I know I have much more to do for my self and for other people. I made another alert to another group and they answer me “you are not a Rock Star…” this is no help at all. I know very well what I am not.
I use to read carefully all of your articles and I believe I need help perhaps medical help.
Sandra, recovery is hard. Wherever you live your country offers counselingCounseling Counseling is the professional guidance of the individual by utilizing psychological methods especially in collecting case history data, using various techniques of the personal interview, and testing interests and aptitudes.
A mental health counselor (MHC), or counselor, is a person who works with individuals and groups to promote optimum mental and emotional health. Such persons may help individuals deal with issues associated with addiction and substance abuse; family, parenting, and marital problems; stress management; self-esteem; and aging. They may also work with "Social Workers", "Psychiatrists", and "Psychologists".
SCARS does not provide mental health counseling. and support groupsSupport Groups In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers.. You might want to contact your local police department and ask if they have a Victims Assistance Coordinator that can guide you to local Victims’ Assistance or Support Groups.