After The Scam Ends, Victims Show Emotional Changes – Some Good And Some Bad
Here Are Both Good And Bad Emotional States To Help You Self-Evaluate
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Signs of Poor Emotional Health
Some warning signs can tell you whether your emotional health is vital or solid.
Here are some signs to watch for that your emotional health may be suffering. We often see these in scam victims.
YOU ARGUE A LOT
Disagreements or arguments are normal and can occur at times, but they become frequent if you do not manage your emotions well. If you find that you are arguing a lot with loved ones, co-workers, strangers, or friends, your emotional health is suffering. You are likely not reading or understanding other people’s emotions, struggling to understand your sources of angerAnger Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability., or caught in a perpetual cycle of negative emotions.
YOU FAIL TO HEAR OTHER’S PERSPECTIVES
Those with a poor ability to manage their emotions often feel like they are always right, and that others are wrong, even before hearing from the other person. Being overly critical of others without hearing their side is also a sign that you neglect other people’s emotions. TraumaTrauma Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. Psychological trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away. It can also leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people. Traumatic experiences often involve a threat to life or safety or other emotional shocks, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can result in trauma, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm. It’s not the objective circumstances that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized. Trauma requires treatment, either through counseling or therapy or through trauma-oriented support programs, such as those offered by SCARS. after the scam ends polarizes your views and it makes it difficult to hear the advice of professional care providers.
YOU ARE LIVING IN DENIALDenial Denial is a refusal or unwillingness to accept something or to accept reality. Refusal to admit the truth or reality of something, refusal to acknowledge something unpleasant; And as a term of Psychology: denial is a defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality.
If there are times when you are using ridicule, threats, or force to coerce other people into action, then your emotional health is damaged. When you use bullying to manipulate others, you’re coping with a lack of self-worth or confidence by making others feel horrible about themselves. You may be feeling isolated or insecure, but these behaviors are a clear indication that you are in trouble and need to focus on your emotional well-being. This is commen when victims believe that no one understands or cares about them.
YOU BULLY OTHERS
If there are times when you are using ridicule, threats, or force to coerce other people into action, then your emotional health is damaged. When you use bullying to control other people, you are making up for a lack of self-worth or confidence by making others feel bad. You may be feeling alone or insecure, but these behaviors indicate that you are in distress and need to focus on your emotional well-being. This especially can happen when around other victims who you feel may not have suffered as much as you have. Or with support providers if they are not doing what you think they need to be doing.
YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND OTHER’S FEELINGS
If you walk around all day asking, What is WRONG with people? You may be lacking emotional awareness and control. Failure to understand why other people might be angry, sad, irritated, or even happy can lead to miscommunication, annoyance, arguments, and many other negative encounters. Some people have a hard time understanding other people’s emotions, which makes it even more important to concentrate on honing this talent and practicing it regularly. Some people have a hard time understanding other people’s emotions, which makes it even more important to focus on honing this talent and practicing it regularly.
YOU WITHDRAW FROM OTHERS
If you find yourself not wanting to participate in group activities or be around other people, your emotional health may be suffering. While we all need to be alone from time to time, when you find that you would always rather be alone than with others, there is a good chance you are not dealing with your emotions in a very healthy way. You could be withdrawing due to shameShame Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self; withdrawal motivations; and feelings of distress, exposure, mistrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness., feeling overwhelmed, not having the energy to deal with others’ needs, insecurity, or depression. And when you isolate yourself, you can create even more emotional problems, including distortions in your thinking and loneliness.
YOU BLAMEBlame Blame or Blaming is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong, their action is blameworthy. By contrast, when someone is morally responsible for doing something right, we may say that his or her action is praiseworthy. Blame imparts responsibility for an action or act, as in that they made a choice to perform that act or action. OTHER PEOPLE
If you struggle with emotional intelligence and awareness, you most likely lack understanding of how your emotions affect others and cause difficulties. Your first response is generally to blame other people for whatever problems arise or to refuse to take responsibility for how they are affecting other people. Often victims cannot stop blamingBlaming Blame or Blaming is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong, their action is blameworthy. By contrast, when someone is morally responsible for doing something right, we may say that his or her action is praiseworthy. Blame imparts responsibility for an action or act, as in that they made a choice to perform that act or action. themselves but it manifests in blaming others – because no one is saving you.
YOU ARE HARMING YOURSELF
There are several types of self-harm, but this behaviorBehavior Behavior / Behavioral Actions Otherwise known as habits, behavior or behavioral actions are strategies to help prevent online exploitation that target behavior, such as social engineering of victims. Changing your behavior is the ONLY effective means to reduce or prevent scams. is a sign that you are trying to control emotional pain by influencing physical punishment upon yourself. Self-harm can include anything from starving yourself, cutting, binge eating, reckless behavior, or anything else that puts your health and safety at risk. But in reality, psychological self-harm can be just as bad.
An Important Concept: Self-harm is a clear sign that you are not handling your emotions and may need support and even professional help from mental healthMental health Mental health, defined by the World Health Organization (WHO), is "a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community". According to WHO, mental health includes "subjective well-being, perceived self-efficacy, autonomy, competence, intergenerational dependence, and self-actualization of one's intellectual and emotional potential, among others". From the perspectives of positive psychology or of holism, mental health may include an individual's ability to enjoy life and to create a balance between life activities and efforts to achieve psychological resilience. Cultural differences, subjective assessments, and competing professional theories all affect how one defines "mental health". specialists to help you get them under control.
YOU USE OR ABUSE SUBSTANCES
Using drugs, alcohol, or other substances to help you get through intense emotions indicates that you are not dealing with these feelings effectively. These substances are often used to numb pain or to make you forget why you are upset. It is far healthier to learn to cope in healthier, more productive ways rather than relying on drugs or alcohol to help you manage your emotions.
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If you find that you match any of these, then you should discuss this with your counselor or therapist, and in a support groupSupport Group In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers.. Ignoring these signs can only lead to more difficulties in the future!
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Characteristics of Good Emotional Health
Since we’ve gone over the notice signs of poor passionate wellbeing, it’s likewise significant to get what enthusiastic wellbeing resembles. Sincerely solid individuals share a few common attributes and propensities that lead them to comprehend and deal with their feelings. Here are the most widely recognized of those qualities:
The more self-aware you are (knowing and understanding yourself quite well, or having conscious knowledge of one’s character and feelings), the better you will understand yourself, the sources of your feelings, and how your emotions influence you. Emotional management requires self-awareness. It incorporates how you see yourself as well as how you might suspect others see you.
YOU ARE SELF-AWARE
When you consider how others perceive you, you are open to candid feedback. Being self-aware entails frequent introspection.
YOU HAVE EMPATHY
When you have empathy, you can place yourself in someone else’s position and understand what they are feeling from that frame of reference. It means that you feel emotions in response to the sentiments of others, along with effectively identifying and understanding how others may be feeling. Empathy is the thing that allows you to connect with others and feel for them when they are suffering or celebrating.
YOU ARE ADAPTABLE
When you are emotionally healthy, you can recognize when you need to stick to your planned course and when you need to switch lanes. Being adaptable allows you to respond to situations as they arise and to be more resilient to the inevitable obstacles and setbacks in life. Adaptability enables you to choose a new path when your current one is keeping you from experiencing real happiness.
YOU ARE OPTIMISTIC
A positive, optimistic outlook on the future is essential for your emotional health. When you have a positive outlook on the long term, you are more likely to seek solutions to problems, overcome obstacles, and set higher goals than if you have a pessimistic perspective. Optimism is a controllable attitude, and when you choose to be positive every day, you are more likely to experience positive outcomes and have better emotional health.
YOU BELIEVE IN YOUR RECOVERY
Emotional health and development must believe in yourself and your ability to control and regulate your life. Having faith in your future and your present, and trusting that everything happens for a reason, can help you streamline your emotions and gain control over your life and actions.
YOU ARE CURIOUS
Curiosity implies an openness to improvement and continuous learning, which can aid in the maintenance of emotional health over time. Curiosity allows you to grow and strive to be your best all of the time. When you are curious, you ask yourself and others questions about yourself and the world.
YOU ARE ANALYTICAL
Being able to take in, process, and analyze information will allow you to make critical decisions in your life using logic and reason rather than emotion. Analytical thinking permits you to examine old habits, perspectives, or behaviors to see if they are still beneficial to your life. An analytical mind allows you to consider the “why” of your existence, which not only grounds you but also allows you to care passionately about the values and beliefs that guide your life.
YOU ARE DISCERNING
Emotionally healthy people can tell the difference between their personal needs and wants, which allows them to make healthier, informed choices in their lives. Being emotionally healthy entails prioritizing your needs over your desires.
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YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS NOT JUST A QUESTION OF BEING BROKEN
It is about you being able to recover from these terrible experiences and live a happy fulfilling life again. It is important to pay close attention to your emotions and work with professionals that not only understand these issues but can help put you on the path to recovery.
Essential Tools For Every Scam SurvivorSurvivor A Scam Survivor is a victim who has been able to fully accept the reality of their situation. That they were the victim of a crime and are not to blame. They are working on their emotional recovery and reduction of any trauma either on their own, through a qualified support organization, or through counseling or therapy. And has done their duty and reported the crime to their local police, national police, and on Anyscam.com From SCARS Publishing
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SCARS GREEN BOOK
Self-Help Self-Paced Recovery Program Guide
LEARN HOW TO RECOVER ON YOUR OWN
This program is designed to help scam victims struggling to recover on their own and for those who want to understand the overall process. You can be using other resources, such as trauma counselingCounseling Counseling is the professional guidance of the individual by utilizing psychological methods especially in collecting case history data, using various techniques of the personal interview, and testing interests and aptitudes. A mental health counselor (MHC), or counselor, is a person who works with individuals and groups to promote optimum mental and emotional health. Such persons may help individuals deal with issues associated with addiction and substance abuse; family, parenting, and marital problems; stress management; self-esteem; and aging. They may also work with "Social Workers", "Psychiatrists", and "Psychologists". SCARS does not provide mental health counseling. or therapy, qualified support groupsSupport Groups In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers., or completely independent – on your own!
The SCARS Steps program is a complete program and is provided for the purpose of helping scam victims to overcome this experience. Throughout this SCARS Steps Program, we speak about issues and challenges that a victim may have and help guide them through their recovery. But each person is different and it is important to understand your own reasons for being vulnerable to being scammed.
After the trauma of being scammed, you need to take steps to recover and move on. This may be an alternative to counseling in the short term, but we still encourage you to seek out professional help & support. Throughout this SCARS Steps Program, we speak about issues, challenges, defects, or problems that a victim may have in a generalized way.
The SCARS GREEN BOOK will help you recover from your scam offline and it will always be there when you need it!
SCARS SLATE BOOK – Let Us Explain What Happened!
A Guide For Families & Friends Of Scam Victims
HOW TO HELP ROMANCE SCAM VICTIMS FOR FAMILIES & FRIENDS OF SCAM VICTIMS
This SCARS Publishing book represents a complete guide to help the families and friends understand how these scamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. work and how to help the victim.
The SCARS Slate Book should be purchased by family and friends to better understand what happened to the victim and the traumatic impact on them. But it can also be shared by the victim so that they do not have to explain to family and friends about the scam. This publication is to help others to help Scam Victims to make it through this traumatic experience and recover.
Each person is different and it is important to understand how relationship scamsRelationship Scam A Relationship Scam is a one-to-one criminal act that involves a trust relationship and uses deception & manipulation to get a victim to give to the criminal something of value, such as money! Click here to learn more: What Is A Relationship Scam? work and why people are vulnerable; to being scammed, how they were lured in, then groomed and manipulated. This understanding is essential in helping them through the process of ending the scam and then on to recovery. The SCARS Slate Book will provide the information necessary to help support a victim through this process.
SCARS RED BOOK
Your Personal Scam Evidence & Crime Record Organizer
ORGANIZE YOUR INFORMATION TO MAKE THE REPORTING PROCESS SIMPLE!
Helps you get and stay organized. This publication is to help Scam Victims organize their crime information. Complete this information before reporting to the police then bring this book with you
Before or after reporting to the police the RED BOOK gives you a dedicated tool to record all the essential facts of this crime. The Victim, the Scammers, the Money, and your Police interactions. Everything that really matters can be easily recorded for your immediate use and for the future!
As we have seen, money recovery/repayment programs can become available years after the scam ends and you need to keep all the details of this crime in case it is needed. We have also seen scammers being extradited to the U.S. and other countries, this will help in the event you testify or give statements, Additionally, this helps you have your information ready to qualify for victims’ benefits, compensation, or aid.
The Official SCARS RED BOOK is your way of recording all the important facts of this crime so that you do not lose essential information, Complete the RED BOOK then put it away with the confidence that you will have it if or when it is needed.
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By the Society of Citizens Against Relationship ScamsSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS. Inc.
A Worldwide Crime Victims Assistance & Crime Prevention Nonprofit Organization Headquartered In Miami Florida USA & Monterrey NL Mexico, with Partners In More Than 60 Countries
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