A SCARS Commentary About How Hard It Is To Help New Victims In Complete Panic

One of the very hardest things for us is trying to help a relationship scam victim in a complete panic.

When a victim is in so much panic that they cannot listen to any guidance, and will not tell us the truth about their situation, there is nothing we can do to help them but watch them self-destruct. How can we reach them when they will not listen to any advice – we listen and suggest the direction that will be most beneficial, but at times we just cannot get through.

This is unimaginably hard to do. To be forced to step back and know that we cannot help.

We try to refer them to local help, the police, advocates, and mental healthcare providers, but they are so unable to gain enough control to understand what we are trying to do for them. They just want someone to save them and give them their money back – which is just not possible.

Sadly, we do all we can, but when we reach this point and we are not doing what they want – when we are not saving them and not getting their money back, then we are the enemy. This is where a victim can become very hostile and abusive to our team. They can even be dangerous, making threats and more.

This is when we have to step back, give them the information they will need, and close the door for now.

Our mission is to do everything we can to help each person that comes to us. We try hard to wind them down from their panic and present the facts about what they need to know, need to do, and how they will eventually recover from this nightmare.

We think we do a good job at that, but there are times when we just cannot reach someone and we must withdraw.

This is hard on everyone involved, not just the victim.

Our team is made up of humans and we hear this almost every day. You can imagine what it is like when literally numbers of people that you tried to help hate you. Some go so far as to cyberstalk you afterward, send threats to you, your family, and even your friends.

Why on earth would we choose to help anyone when this happens?

In the final analysis, we also know that we cannot help everyone, some are beyond our reach. But it does not make it easy.

Our team deals with their own trauma from what we do – it is called vicarious trauma, and all first responders and caregivers experience it. We provide awareness training for our volunteers and staff in vicarious trauma, so it is not a new topic for us. Every first responder and most healthcare workers know it only too well.

But we are here to help because we can.

We have a unique set of skills and experience spanning 30 years that have enabled the SCARS Team to fully understand the relationship scam experience and its impact on victims. It is not about “exposing scammers’ or “scambaiting” or other vigilantism, it is about helping as many as we can.

Even if we cannot reach them now, we present the information they will eventually need for when they are ready. If a victim comes back around to the point where we can help them, assuming they want that, we will forget what might have happened, and roll up our sleeves and try again.

This is what we do. This is the way.

This is why we are an incorporated nonprofit crime victims’ assistance organization. This is why we invest our own money in making this possible.

If you hate us, we wish you all the best. But we are not running away. We remain firm in our resolve to help all those that we can. And there are tens of thousands of victims that we have helped to successfully recover to prove it.

Thank you for your support of our organization. If you need our services they are here and free for all victims. Just remember that we can only help you if you let us.

It’s 2021 – a new year with new possibilities. Take advantage of them.

If you would like to help – we love volunteers (just make sure you are in a good place to help others – many try to volunteer before they are recovered), and we thank all of our donors whose generous donations help make all of their possible.

If you want to learn more about SCARS and our team please visit www.AgainstScams.org

We are SCARS and we support scam victims worldwide!

Our most humble thanks for understanding!

SCARS
Miami, Florida, U.S.A. – Monterrey, Nuevo Leon, Mexico
And in more than 60 countries worldwide.

TAGS: SCARS, Information About Scams, Romance Scams, Scam Victims, Online Crime Is Real Crime, Scam Recovery, Emotional Recovery, Victim Panic, Hostile Victims, Supporting Scam Victims