Relationship Scammers Often Lose Their Temper With Their Victims During The Scam

Whether it is a romance scam, a lotto scam, a grandparent scam, a bank impersonation scam, or even a government impersonation, scammers lose their cool when things do not go their way!

Let’s Look At Who Scammers Really Are

Relationship scammers are often people who are struggling financially or socially when they begin their life of crime.

They may come from poor families or have been unemployed for a long time – though this is no excuse, and we are not apologizing for them. They may also feel like they have been rejected by society or that they don’t have a place in the world.

These factors can make them susceptible to the lure of easy money. Romance scams or any other type of fraud offer the promise of a better life, with the scammer playing the role of a loving family member who will provide financial security for their family and companionship for their partners. This is the backdrop and often the mindset of these criminals, and it helps to justify their actions and the great harm they do to their victims.

Relationship scammers are often very good at what they do. They can be charming, persuasive, and believable. They can also be very good at manipulating people’s emotions. They are usually well-trained as well. But beyond all of this is the simple fact that they are both a product of their society and the expectations of easy money.

It is important to remember that romance scammers are not interested in a real relationship. They are only interested in the victim’s money. Anything that gets in the way of that can cause them to lose their temper!

Scammer’s Social Pressures

We are NOT asking you to empathize with these criminals, far from it. But we are offering this understanding of them to help you better understand behaviors and clues that might help victims that are still trapped in their crime recognize how these behaviors indicate that it is all just a deception.

Here are some social pressures that contribute to someone becoming a fraudster or scammer:

• Economic hardship: People who are struggling financially may be more likely to turn to crime, including relationship scams.
• Lack of opportunity: People who feel like they have no other options in life may be more likely to become scammers.
• Social isolation: People who are isolated from friends and family may be more vulnerable to scams – this includes attending a university where a majority of students are involved in scams or know someone that is.
• Low self-esteem: People with low self-esteem may be more likely to believe the lies of a scammer that recruited them.
• Greed: People are simply greedy and are willing to take advantage of others for financial gain.

It is important to remember that not all scammers are motivated by evil. Some scammers may be genuinely looking for a better life, but regardless of that they are all still motivated by greed.

However, it is the balancing act of being engaged in clearly morally evil behavior and the desires that can create hair-trigger tempers in them!

Victims Not Doing What The Scammers Want Or Need!

All scammers manipulate and exploit their victims for financial gain, often employing a wide range of tactics to establish emotional connections and trust. Whether it is a ‘long con’ or a ‘short con’ the criminals need the victims to be totally compliant for the criminal to get their payday!

While each scammer’s motivations and behaviors may vary, there are certain factors that can trigger anger or frustration in them when their victims fail to perform as expected, encounter difficulties, or start to catch on to their deceit. Understanding the causes behind this and the corresponding behaviors can help victims and their families recognize the criminal actions.

The Scam Flow & The Speed Bumps

Once the victim is hooked, the scammer will start to ask for money. They may claim to need money for medical expenses, travel costs, or other unexpected expenses or emergencies. They may also claim to be in danger and need the victim’s help.

In relationship scams, which occur over a longer period of time, it always starts out small and then there is an escalation in the demand for more money. But even in short-term fraud, the scammers are eager to get their hands on the victim’s money.

The victim may be reluctant to send money at first, but the scammer will be very persistent. They may use a variety of psychological techniques depending on the kind of fraud it is, including emotional blackmail, or threats to get the victim to send money. Any speedbumps in the process can cause individual criminals to lose their temper and take it out on the victim – sometimes this is yet another manipulative tactic used on purpose, but it can also be real anger.

Here are some of the scammers’ least favorite things:

1. Resistance to Requests for Money: In almost all cases, scammers typically build a narrative that leads to a request for money, whether it’s for an emergency, travel expenses, medical bills, bailing out a relative from jail, or other plausible reasons. When victims show reluctance or skepticism about providing financial assistance, scammers might exhibit frustration, become defensive, or employ guilt-tripping tactics to pressure victims into complying.
2. Avoidance of Face-to-Face Meetings: Scammers often avoid face-to-face interactions or video calls, citing reasons such as being in a remote location, having a dangerous job, or facing personal obstacles. If victims insist on meeting or seeing the scammer, the fraudster might become agitated or provide excuses to evade direct contact. As victims continue to demand conversations, scammers often use anger as a tool to question the victim’s loyalty or trust.
3. Disinterest in Personal Details: Scammers frequently avoid sharing personal information about themselves. They might redirect conversations back to the victim or provide vague responses to questions about their background, family, and daily life. If victims pressure the criminal into revealing more information about themselves, this often triggers angry responses.
4. Inconsistent Stories: Scammers often juggle multiple victims simultaneously, leading to inconsistencies in their stories or forgetting previous details shared with different victims. Also, scammers will hand off victims to other members of their team which can easily result in significant inconsistencies. When victims start questioning these discrepancies, scammers try to blow it off, but when pushed against a wall they will become frustrated or defensive.
5. Attempts to Isolate: Scammers seek to isolate their victims from friends and family using gaslighting techniques, attempting to create an environment where the victim relies solely on them for emotional support. When victims resist this isolation or seek advice from others, scammers very often react negatively.

The Scammer Red Flags – Recognize the Scam

1. If you notice a sudden change in the scammer’s demeanor, such as anger or emotional manipulation when you question their financial requests, it’s a red flag that their intentions might not be genuine.
2. If the person you’re communicating with consistently avoids video calls or in-person meetings despite claiming a strong emotional connection, it’s a sign that they might be hiding their true identity.
3. If the person you’re communicating with consistently deflects questions about their life or offers limited and inconsistent personal details, be cautious as it could indicate a scam.
4. If you notice frequent changes in the scammer’s narrative or they struggle to recall previously discussed information, it’s a strong indication that their intentions may not be honest.
5. If the person you’re communicating with discourages you from discussing the relationship with others or becomes angered by your attempts to seek an outside perspective, it’s a warning sign of manipulation.

Summary

Understanding the psychological tactics employed by cybercriminals and scammers, including their potential reactions to victim resistance, is crucial for identifying and breaking free of scams. If anyone suspects that they might be in a scam and encounter any of these behaviors, it’s essential to end contact and seek advice from trusted friends, family members, or professionals.

Staying informed and recognizing the signs of all the different kinds of scams can help you protect anyone from falling victim to emotional manipulation and financial exploitation.

Resources:

• Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
• Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
• Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
• Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
• Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
• Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainsstScams.org

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• Romance Scammers – Top Lies They Tell (romancescamsnow.com)
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• Understanding Scammers: What exactly is the Nigerian dream? (romancescamsnow.com)
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