Protecting Elderly Victims In DenialDenial Denial is a refusal or unwillingness to accept something or to accept reality. Refusal to admit the truth or reality of something, refusal to acknowledge something unpleasant; And as a term of Psychology: denial is a defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality. Over ScamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost.
A SCARSSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS. Insight For Desperate Families
A significant number of elderly victims cannot recognize or accept they are being scammed even after their family proves it to them. This will explore ways to protect them.
There Are Times When You Have To Intervene
This guide is intended for family members of victims in complete denialDenial Denial is a refusal or unwillingness to accept something or to accept reality. Refusal to admit the truth or reality of something, refusal to acknowledge something unpleasant; And as a term of Psychology: denial is a defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality.. It is not intended for scamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. victims, but if you read it you can also see how desperate you may be making your own family members as they see the impact that scams are or were having on you – if you are currently a victim of a scam please read our 3 Steps Guide for New Victims.
Almost every day, our organization is contacted by desperate family members seeking advice.
They have an elderly parent (typically) who is involved in a scam – romance scams, lotto scams, phone scams, etc. The elderly are particularly susceptible to sams for many reasons – from loneliness to a need to be polite and more. But the impact of this is that they believe completely the fake stories and fantasies spun by the scammers.
In situations like this, we recommend first going through the process of understanding what is happening and attempting interventions – in other words, treating them as an adult. Here are our Guides to help you through this process – but it sometimes fails, and further below we will discuss other safety measures you can take.
Guides For Family Members In Denial
- Understanding Romance Scams For Family & Friends
- Intervention Guide For Victims In Denial
- Confrontation Guide
A Note About Legality
We are not attorneys. We are not providing you with legal advice of any kind. If you have questions about the legality of anything you do, we suggest that you contact a licensed family law attorney or solicitor to explore your concerns.
When It Is Not Enough
You have reached that point where you recognize that you are not getting through. Now what do you do?
You have options and there is technology that can help support you.
As we discuss in other guides, you may want to explore several options, from powers of attorney to financial controls to restrict the damage being caused. After all, the victims continued belief in the scam and sending money to the scammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer. will affect the whole family, because many such victims give away their retirements, their homes, and place themselves in bankruptcy, and will then need the financial support of the family.
If you have questions about what is right or wrong, simply consider what you would do if this was a physical ailment?
You Have Options
Most of the elderly are not technologically sophisticated and need help solving basic tech issues. This creates the opportunity o help them by restricting their access to the scammer and services that enable the scam.
There are countless options for products and services that you can employ to help control access and restrict, we will go through each major area. You may not be comfortable doing these yourself and may need additional assistance from a local technician. In the United States, you can get help with both internet devices and phones at your local BestBuy stores, but there are also numerous other local tech stops that can help you wherever you may be.
The Home Router
Connection to the Internet at home is through a home router that connects the Internet Service Provider to your devices – most of the time this is also the WiFi routers providing connection to tablets, TVs, phones, laptops, etc. Routers have significant capabilities to control the security of internet access.
Things you can do on most routers:
- Set hours of access.
- Set up a blocklist – domains (includes web services & platforms) and addresses that are blocked by the routers – they cannot be accessed by any device using the router.
- Set up a whitelist – opposite of the blockBlock Blocking is a technical action usually on social media or messaging platforms that restricts or bans another profile from seeing or communicating with your profile. To block someone on social media, you can usually go to their profile and select it from a list of options - often labeled or identified with three dots ••• list, of websites and services that are permitted.
- Logs activity – so you can see any attempts to bypass security.
- Alerts & notifications – notify when security violations occur.
If you have children of your own, this is also recommended to help keep them safe!
Not all routers have the same capabilities, and we do not provide technical support for them. You should first find out the brand and model of the router and search the internet for instructions to perform the actions you want to take. Once it is done, the victim will simply not know what is happening, they will just know that there is a tech problem. It will be up to you to sell it – to convince them it is just an internet mystery. But be careful to change the router login and password to prevent circumvention – meaning that they cannot call someone to fix it.
Here are example information that may help you better understand the tech setups involved. As we say, you may need a technician to help! you with this:
- How to Block Websites on Home WiFi Router? | MashTips
- Block Websites From Your Router or Using DNS (helpdeskgeek.com)
- How to Configure a Router to Block Websites (chron.com)
Outside WiFi Access
Configuring the home router is essential, but it can be defeated by taking their device to a public WiFi. One way to do this is to install a VPNVPN A VPN (also known as a proxy) is an app or connection method that keeps your internet connection private, whether you're connecting to unsafe public Wi-Fi or your network at home. Having a layer of security that blocks people from watching you browse helps keep you safe online, no matter where you connect from. Virtual private networks protect you by creating an encrypted "tunnel" that all of your device's data travels through on its way to the internet via a proxy server or service. Encryption turns words and data, like text files, into a secret code. If someone tries to read encrypted data without the password, they'll see random gibberish. connection that prevents access to the internet except through the VPN. But you also want features for Blacklisting and Whitelisting to prevent access to dangerous websites and platforms.
Information to review on this:
- 6 Internet Safety Tips for Kids – 2021 Expert Tips | NordVPN
- Welcome to the home of Child Safe VPN – Child Safe VPN
- Brave Parenting Guide to VPN apps | Brave Parenting
- What Does A VPN Hide From Parents? – Bark
- How to Protect Your Children While They’re Online – Best VPN Services Reviews (bestreviews.net)
Controls On Their Laptop, Computer, Phone, or Tablet
You will also want to install child-safety control software on their device that will further block access to the scammers and dangerous websites and platforms.
The problem is going to be how much you restrict – what do you want them to have access to, such as Facebook. But you can control Facebook separately, and it does have some controls that can help – see below.
You should note that you really want to block almost every social media platform for their safety (perhaps with the exception fo Facebook). Almost all of them are going to be impossible to keep your family member safe from scammers.
Here are articles on the use and selection of child safety software that can help.
- The Best Parental Control Software for 2021 | PCMag
- 2021 Best Parental Control Apps & Software | SafeWise
- The best parental control apps for Android and iPhone 2021 | Tom’s Guide
- Best Parental Control Software in 2021 – Parental Control Now!
The Phone
You have another option too, namely their smartphone.
You can replace it with a flip phone, which will eliminate internet access. But the problem is that you will lose all control over what calls come in. This is also more draconian and may result in rebellion from your family member.
We recommend that you leave the smartphone in place, but add the parental control appsApps Applications or Apps An application (software), commonly referred to as an ‘app’ is a program on a computer, tablet, mobile phone or device. Apps are designed for specific tasks, including checking the weather, accessing the internet, looking at photos, playing media, mobile banking, etc. Many apps can access the internet if needed and can be downloaded (used) either for a price or for free. Apps are a major point of vulnerability on all devices. Some are designed to be malicious, such as logging keystrokes or activity, and others can even transport malware. Always be careful about any app you are thinking about installing. to restrict it to safe contacts.
More Information
In essence, you are looking for child internet controls – it is the same problem. The whole purpose of child controls is to help keep the people in your family safe if they are not capable of making their own safety decisions or understanding the issues. This may seem very dictatorial, but this is the safety of your loved one you are dealing with. The choice is yours.
Senior Monitoring
You may also want to consider a senior monitoring and support solution. Here are a few we think you might explore:
- Top 20 Apps, Programs, and Devices for Seniors and Their Adult Families – Senior Care Center (srcarecenter.com)
- Best Safety Devices for Seniors | SafeWise
Recommendations
We are not a technology provider, nor are we able to recommend any of the above – that is not our role. We are here to help you see the issues and suggest directions. Therefore we do not recommend any specific product, nor are we compensated for listing them.
Tell Us How You Did It?
When you implement a solution, please write to us and share how this was done? Tell us what software or hardware was used, what controls you put in place (just the general approach), and how you convinced the victim to permit this? This can help us better help others in similar situations.
Reporting Scams
See below for our information on how to properly report scams. Reporting matters every time! Scammers are being arrested in large numbers, but still, most people (less than 5%) are not reporting these crimes – this is a big part of why it is out of control. Do you part – do your duty – report criminals!
Essential Tools For Every Scam SurvivorSurvivor A Scam Survivor is a victim who has been able to fully accept the reality of their situation. That they were the victim of a crime and are not to blame. They are working on their emotional recovery and reduction of any trauma either on their own, through a qualified support organization, or through counseling or therapy. And has done their duty and reported the crime to their local police, national police, and on Anyscam.com From SCARS Publishing
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Each is based on our SCARS Team’s 32 plus years of experience.
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SCARS GREEN BOOK
Self-Help Self-Paced Recovery Program Guide
LEARN HOW TO RECOVER ON YOUR OWN
This program is designed to help scam victims struggling to recover on their own and for those who want to understand the overall process. You can be using other resources, such as traumaTrauma Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. Psychological trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away. It can also leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people. Traumatic experiences often involve a threat to life or safety or other emotional shocks, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can result in trauma, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm. It’s not the objective circumstances that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized. Trauma requires treatment, either through counseling or therapy or through trauma-oriented support programs, such as those offered by SCARS. counselingCounseling Counseling is the professional guidance of the individual by utilizing psychological methods especially in collecting case history data, using various techniques of the personal interview, and testing interests and aptitudes. A mental health counselor (MHC), or counselor, is a person who works with individuals and groups to promote optimum mental and emotional health. Such persons may help individuals deal with issues associated with addiction and substance abuse; family, parenting, and marital problems; stress management; self-esteem; and aging. They may also work with "Social Workers", "Psychiatrists", and "Psychologists". SCARS does not provide mental health counseling. or therapy, qualified support groupsSupport Groups In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers., or completely independent – on your own!
The SCARS Steps program is a complete program and is provided for the purpose of helping scam victims to overcome this experience. Throughout this SCARS Steps Program, we speak about issues and challenges that a victim may have and help guide them through their recovery. But each person is different and it is important to understand your own reasons for being vulnerable to being scammed.
After the trauma of being scammed, you need to take steps to recover and move on. This may be an alternative to counseling in the short term, but we still encourage you to seek out professional help & support. Throughout this SCARS Steps Program, we speak about issues, challenges, defects, or problems that a victim may have in a generalized way.
The SCARS GREEN BOOK will help you recover from your scam offline and it will always be there when you need it!
SCARS SLATE BOOK – Let Us Explain What Happened!
A Guide For Families & Friends Of Scam Victims
HOW TO HELP ROMANCE SCAM VICTIMS FOR FAMILIES & FRIENDS OF SCAM VICTIMS
This SCARS Publishing book represents a complete guide to help the families and friends understand how these scams work and how to help the victim.
The SCARS Slate Book should be purchased by family and friends to better understand what happened to the victim and the traumatic impact on them. But it can also be shared by the victim so that they do not have to explain to family and friends about the scam. This publication is to help others to help Scam Victims to make it through this traumatic experience and recover.
Each person is different and it is important to understand how relationship scamsRelationship Scam A Relationship Scam is a one-to-one criminal act that involves a trust relationship and uses deception & manipulation to get a victim to give to the criminal something of value, such as money! Click here to learn more: What Is A Relationship Scam? work and why people are vulnerable; to being scammed, how they were lured in, then groomed and manipulated. This understanding is essential in helping them through the process of ending the scam and then on to recovery. The SCARS Slate Book will provide the information necessary to help support a victim through this process.
SCARS RED BOOK
Your Personal Scam Evidence & Crime Record Organizer
ORGANIZE YOUR INFORMATION TO MAKE THE REPORTING PROCESS SIMPLE!
Helps you get and stay organized. This publication is to help Scam Victims organize their crime information. Complete this information before reporting to the police then bring this book with you
Before or after reporting to the police the RED BOOK gives you a dedicated tool to record all the essential facts of this crime. The Victim, the Scammers, the Money, and your Police interactions. Everything that really matters can be easily recorded for your immediate use and for the future!
As we have seen, money recovery/repayment programs can become available years after the scam ends and you need to keep all the details of this crime in case it is needed. We have also seen scammers being extradited to the U.S. and other countries, this will help in the event you testify or give statements, Additionally, this helps you have your information ready to qualify for victims’ benefits, compensation, or aid.
The Official SCARS RED BOOK is your way of recording all the important facts of this crime so that you do not lose essential information, Complete the RED BOOK then put it away with the confidence that you will have it if or when it is needed.
100% of all profit goes to help SCARS help more scam victims worldwide.
Your generous purchase allows us to maintain our scam avoidance, support, and recovery services. Please help SCARS and stand proud.
TAGS: SCARS, Information About Scams, Anti-Scam, Scams, Scammers, Fraudsters, Cybercrime, Crybercriminals, Romance Scams, Scam Victims, Online FraudFraud In law, fraud is intentional deception to secure unfair or unlawful gain (money or other assets), or to deprive a victim of a legal right. Fraud can violate civil law (e.g., a fraud victim may sue the fraud perpetrator to avoid the fraud or recover monetary compensation) or criminal law (e.g., a fraud perpetrator may be prosecuted and imprisoned by governmental authorities), or it may cause no loss of money, property, or legal right but still be an element of another civil or criminal wrong. The purpose of fraud may be monetary gain or other benefits, for example by obtaining a passport, travel document, or driver's license, or mortgage fraud, where the perpetrator may attempt to qualify for a mortgage by way of false statements. A fraud can also be a hoax, which is a distinct concept that involves deliberate deception without the intention of gain or of materially damaging or depriving a victim., Online Crime Is Real Crime, Scam Avoidance, Married Scam Victims, Internet Infidelity, Scam Victim Divorce
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By the SCARS™ Editorial Team
Society of Citizens Against Relationship ScamsSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims.
Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS. Inc.
A Worldwide Crime Victims Assistance & Crime Prevention Nonprofit Organization Headquartered In Miami Florida USA & Monterrey NL Mexico, with Partners In More Than 60 Countries
To Learn More, Volunteer, or Donate Visit: www.AgainstScams.org
Contact Us: Contact@AgainstScams.org
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