SCARS Institute's Encyclopedia of Scams™ RomanceScamsNOW.com Published Continuously for 25 Years

SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years

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Protecting Elderly Victims In Denial Over Scams

A SCARS Insight For Desperate Families

A significant number of elderly victims cannot recognize or accept they are being scammed even after their family proves it to them. This will explore ways to protect them.

There Are Times When You Have To Intervene

This guide is intended for family members of victims in complete denial. It is not intended for scam victims, but if you read it you can also see how desperate you may be making your own family members as they see the impact that scams are or were having on you – if you are currently a victim of a scam please read our 3 Steps Guide for New Victims.

Almost every day, our organization is contacted by desperate family members seeking advice.

They have an elderly parent (typically) who is involved in a scam – romance scams, lotto scams, phone scams, etc. The elderly are particularly susceptible to sams for many reasons – from loneliness to a need to be polite and more. But the impact of this is that they believe completely the fake stories and fantasies spun by the scammers.

In situations like this, we recommend first going through the process of understanding what is happening and attempting interventions – in other words, treating them as an adult. Here are our Guides to help you through this process – but it sometimes fails, and further below we will discuss other safety measures you can take.

Guides For Family Members In Denial

A Note About Legality

We are not attorneys. We are not providing you with legal advice of any kind. If you have questions about the legality of anything you do, we suggest that you contact a licensed family law attorney or solicitor to explore your concerns.

When It Is Not Enough

You have reached that point where you recognize that you are not getting through. Now what do you do?

You have options and there is technology that can help support you.

As we discuss in other guides, you may want to explore several options, from powers of attorney to financial controls to restrict the damage being caused. After all, the victims continued belief in the scam and sending money to the scammer will affect the whole family, because many such victims give away their retirements, their homes, and place themselves in bankruptcy, and will then need the financial support of the family.

If you have questions about what is right or wrong, simply consider what you would do if this was a physical ailment?

You Have Options

Most of the elderly are not technologically sophisticated and need help solving basic tech issues. This creates the opportunity o help them by restricting their access to the scammer and services that enable the scam.

There are countless options for products and services that you can employ to help control access and restrict, we will go through each major area. You may not be comfortable doing these yourself and may need additional assistance from a local technician. In the United States, you can get help with both internet devices and phones at your local BestBuy stores, but there are also numerous other local tech stops that can help you wherever you may be.

The Home Router

Connection to the Internet at home is through a home router that connects the Internet Service Provider to your devices – most of the time this is also the WiFi routers providing connection to tablets, TVs, phones, laptops, etc. Routers have significant capabilities to control the security of internet access.

Things you can do on most routers:

  • Set hours of access.
  • Set up a blocklist – domains (includes web services & platforms) and addresses that are blocked by the routers – they cannot be accessed by any device using the router.
  • Set up a whitelist – opposite of the block list, of websites and services that are permitted.
  • Logs activity – so you can see any attempts to bypass security.
  • Alerts & notifications – notify when security violations occur.

If you have children of your own, this is also recommended to help keep them safe!

Not all routers have the same capabilities, and we do not provide technical support for them. You should first find out the brand and model of the router and search the internet for instructions to perform the actions you want to take. Once it is done, the victim will simply not know what is happening, they will just know that there is a tech problem. It will be up to you to sell it – to convince them it is just an internet mystery. But be careful to change the router login and password to prevent circumvention – meaning that they cannot call someone to fix it.

Here are example information that may help you better understand the tech setups involved. As we say, you may need a technician to help! you with this:

Outside WiFi Access

Configuring the home router is essential, but it can be defeated by taking their device to a public WiFi. One way to do this is to install a VPN connection that prevents access to the internet except through the VPN. But you also want features for Blacklisting and Whitelisting to prevent access to dangerous websites and platforms.

Information to review on this:

Controls On Their Laptop, Computer, Phone, or Tablet

You will also want to install child-safety control software on their device that will further block access to the scammers and dangerous websites and platforms.

The problem is going to be how much you restrict – what do you want them to have access to, such as Facebook. But you can control Facebook separately, and it does have some controls that can help – see below.

You should note that you really want to block almost every social media platform for their safety (perhaps with the exception fo Facebook). Almost all of them are going to be impossible to keep your family member safe from scammers.

Here are articles on the use and selection of child safety software that can help.

The Phone

You have another option too, namely their smartphone.

You can replace it with a flip phone, which will eliminate internet access. But the problem is that you will lose all control over what calls come in. This is also more draconian and may result in rebellion from your family member.

We recommend that you leave the smartphone in place, but add the parental control apps to restrict it to safe contacts.

More Information

In essence, you are looking for child internet controls – it is the same problem. The whole purpose of child controls is to help keep the people in your family safe if they are not capable of making their own safety decisions or understanding the issues. This may seem very dictatorial, but this is the safety of your loved one you are dealing with. The choice is yours.

Senior Monitoring

You may also want to consider a senior monitoring and support solution. Here are a few we think you might explore:

Recommendations

We are not a technology provider, nor are we able to recommend any of the above – that is not our role. We are here to help you see the issues and suggest directions. Therefore we do not recommend any specific product, nor are we compensated for listing them.

Tell Us How You Did It?

When you implement a solution, please write to us and share how this was done? Tell us what software or hardware was used, what controls you put in place (just the general approach), and how you convinced the victim to permit this? This can help us better help others in similar situations.

Reporting Scams

See below for our information on how to properly report scams. Reporting matters every time! Scammers are being arrested in large numbers, but still, most people (less than 5%) are not reporting these crimes – this is a big part of why it is out of control. Do you part – do your duty – report criminals!

SCARS Publishing Self-Help Recovery Books Available At shop.AgainstScams.org

Scam Victim Self-Help Do-It-Yourself Recovery Books

SCARS Printed Books For Every Scam Survivor From SCARS Publishing

Visit shop.AgainstScams.org

Each is based on our SCARS Team’s 32-plus years of experience.

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Use Discount Code “romanacescamsnow” at Checkout

Always Report All Scams – Anywhere In The World To:

Go to reporting.AgainstScams.org to learn how

U.S. FTC at https://reportfraud.ftc.gov/#/?orgcode=SCARS and SCARS at www.Anyscams.com
Visit reporting.AgainstScams.org to learn more!

TAGS: SCARS, Information About Scams, Anti-Scam, Scams, Scammers, Fraudsters, Cybercrime, Crybercriminals, Romance Scams, Scam Victims, Online Fraud, Online Crime Is Real Crime, Scam Avoidance, Married Scam Victims, Internet Infidelity, Scam Victim Divorce

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SCARS the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated

By the SCARS™ Editorial Team
Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.

A Worldwide Crime Victims Assistance & Crime Prevention Nonprofit Organization Headquartered In Miami Florida USA & Monterrey NL Mexico, with Partners In More Than 60 Countries
To Learn More, Volunteer, or Donate Visit: www.AgainstScams.org
Contact Us: Contact@AgainstScams.org

The Issue Of Race In Scam Reporting
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Published On: April 18th, 2021Last Updated: December 19th, 2022Categories: Scam Victim RecoveryTags: , , ,

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Important Information for New Scam Victims

If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org

If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

A Note About Labeling!

We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!

A Question of Trust

At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.

Statement About Victim Blaming

Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.

These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.

Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org

Psychology Disclaimer:

All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only

The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.

While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.

Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.

If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.

Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.

If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.