The scammers set up a fake profile on a social-media or dating site.

The man they invent is a ruggedly handsome, middle-aged widower who yearns to love again. He usually works in a serious job in a far-flung location—some-thing that provides good excuses to avoid face-to-face meetings. These include construction, engineering, the military, or something similar.

The women they pretend to be are usually based upon stolen model, actress, or adult video stars (porn stars), are in need, looking for love, and many times “have had others steal their photos or identity”. She usually, lives in your country, but is visiting family in Africa or Asia, and just needs your financial help to solve a problem and return to you. She may work for an NGO or charitable organization, or a university, or Facebook or Google, or some other unlikely organization.

The profiles will always have little information, and significant gaps in activity or friends or family, or all of the above. There are always excuses for this though, even though a normal person would be able to show a rich set of life experiences, she will not.

2. The Grooming Phase

Once a woman or a man gets drawn in, the scammer showers them with gestures of affection through email or instant messaging: declarations of love, plagiarized poems, compliments on beauty or handsomeness. The scammer also asks personal questions about the victim’s life—the key to establishing an intimate connection.

Part of the reason for these questions is to help the scammer gain access to more potential victims. By giving them access to your friends on social media, they increase their pool of prospects.

3. The Gift

Satisfied that the mark is infatuated, the scammer concocts a situation that can be solved with a bit of money: He claims to need a few hundred dollars for a visa or money to travel or an emergency. If the victim agrees to provide the cash, the scammer knows she’s on the hook. They may ask for a series of small amounts because they believe this is what a real person in need would ask for, except the victim has never met them or really accepted financial responsibility. The scammer is counting on the victim’s humanity and generosity, this is especially true with older victims.

4. The Crisis

Suddenly something goes horribly wrong. The scammer pleads for several thousand dollars to pay for major surgery or to escape a legal predicament. Afraid she or he never gets to meet their beloved unless they comply, the victim wires the requested funds. This is where the victim should wake up, but usually, the crisis causes a short-circuit in their skepticism and the role over.

5. The Bleed

More aggressive demands for money ensue, until the victim either loses everything or gets wise to the con or scam.

At that point, the scammer will engage in several tactics, that can include either vanishing, denial, or tries to convince the victim to launder money on their behalf to get their money back (the Fake Check Fraud).

6. Tactics

a. The Denial

The first tactic the scammer uses is usually denial. The typical scammer will be discovered by their victim at some point. This is usually after the money was sent and some critical promise was not kept. The victim will start asking questions about the reason for the money, and the integrity of the scammer. The scammer will usually stone-wall, claim they are not doing anything wrong, and try to get a bit more money from the victim.

b. The Vanish

At some point, the scammer will always disappear. However, the how and when this happens varies with the individual scammer.

The Narcissist Scammers will disappear quickly, they play a game of numbers and care nothing for the victim. The Compassionate Scammer is more human and may try to let the victim down more easily, and may even admit to the scam – though this can be a tactic too!