
SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years

Letting Go of Scammers for Mental Health and Recovery
Letting go is one of the hardest things the scam victims do in the course of their recovery! But it is so necessary for their well being and mental health.
Imagine dealing with a complex puzzle, a black box of motivations and actions, where every attempt to decipher its inner workings leads to more confusion and frustration. This enigma is the world of scammers, individuals who perpetrate crimes that can devastate lives. However, in the journey to recovery after falling victim to a scam, it’s vital to shift focus away from the scammers themselves and instead concentrate on the present. This shift isn’t just a matter of personal choice; it’s a necessity for mental health and the ability to regain control of one’s life.
The Enigma of Scammers: A Black Box
It’s crucial to recognize that scammers are, in essence, a ‘black box.’
The fixation on understanding their motivations, emotions, or psychological intricacies often leads to frustration and disappointment for scam victims. In the end, it doesn’t truly matter why they engage in their illicit activities or what justifications they may have. All that matters is the fact that they commit these crimes, typically driven by a singular motive: money.
Attempting to fathom the depths of a scammer’s mind can become an unending, fruitless endeavor that can cause additional trauma for their victims.
Letting go and accepting this enigmatic nature is a pivotal step toward healing and recovery. We must acknowledge that everything about scammers is essentially irrelevant; they are criminals, plain and simple. This perspective can make it significantly easier to let go of the past and refocus on the present.
The Importance of Letting Go
Now, let’s delve into why it is so important for scam victims to release their fixation on the criminal scammers and concentrate on the here and now.
1. Mental and Emotional Well-being:
Continuously dwelling on the scammer and the scam can take a severe toll on one’s mental and emotional health. It can act as an anchor, keeping you firmly rooted in the past and hindering your ability to move forward in life. The mental exhaustion from this fixation can be overwhelming and counterproductive to your recovery.
2. Regaining Control:
Fixating on the scammer inadvertently grants them power (agency) over your thoughts and emotions. Even though the scammer may have long vanished from your life, if you are persistently thinking about them, they still exert control over your psyche. Letting go empowers you to reclaim that control and regain mastery over your own thoughts and feelings.
3. Taking Protective Measures:
When your focus remains fixed on the scammer, you inadvertently neglect taking essential actions to safeguard yourself against future scams. Whether it’s improving your online security, becoming more cautious about sharing personal information, or staying informed about common scam tactics, releasing your fixation on the past enables you to take proactive steps to protect yourself in the present and in the future.
4. Embracing the Present:
Most importantly, holding onto thoughts of the scammer can rob you of the ability to savor and appreciate the present. Life is filled with beautiful moments, opportunities, and positive experiences. However, if you are consumed by thoughts of the past, you may be unable to fully engage with and appreciate the good things that surround you today.
Letting Go and Moving Forward
In the aftermath of falling victim to a scam, it’s vital to internalize the notion that understanding the inner workings of a scammer’s mind is a futile endeavor. The focus should shift from the past to the present, a transition that is essential for mental well-being, empowerment, protection, and the enjoyment of life.
The journey to recovery is about acknowledging the pain and betrayal while also recognizing your own resilience and strength. By detaching from the allure of understanding the unknowable and directing your attention toward building a safer, happier present, you can regain control over your life and move forward with confidence. It’s a journey of healing, growth, and rediscovery, where the past no longer holds sway over your future. So, do you understand the importance of letting go and embracing the present?
Psychological Value of Letting Go for Scam Victims
Letting go of their fixation on the crime and the criminal can have significant psychological benefits for scam victims, aiding in their emotional recovery.
Here’s how it works:
- Reduces Emotional Distress: Fixating on the crime and the scammer can perpetuate feelings of anger, shame, and embarrassment. This constant rumination can lead to heightened stress and anxiety. By letting go, victims can start to reduce emotional distress and regain a sense of calm.
- Restores Emotional Balance: When victims are preoccupied with the scam and the scammer, their emotional balance is often disrupted. They may oscillate between anger, grief, and frustration. Letting go allows them to gradually regain emotional equilibrium and experience a wider range of emotions, including happiness and contentment.
- Fosters Resilience: Dwelling on the crime and the criminal can erode a victim’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem. It can make them feel vulnerable and powerless. Letting go is an act of resilience. It signifies an individual’s ability to adapt and recover from adversity, demonstrating strength and self-empowerment.
- Enhances Positive Coping Mechanisms: Fixation on the scammer can limit a victim’s ability to employ effective positive coping mechanisms. By redirecting their focus toward their own well-being and the present, victims can develop healthier ways to manage stress and adversity, ultimately enhancing their resilience.
- Facilitates Closure: Scammers often exploit victims emotionally, leaving them with a sense of unfinished business or unresolved feelings. Letting go can be a means of achieving closure—a psychological process of accepting what happened and moving forward. It allows victims to symbolically “close the door” on the scam and its emotional aftermath.
- Promotes Positive Self-Image: Constantly dwelling on the scam and the criminal can lead to self-blame and a negative self-image. Shifting focus away from the past allows victims to rebuild their self-esteem, recognizing that they are not defined by the scam but by their ability to recover and grow.
How It Works in the Brain
The process of letting go and its positive effects on emotional recovery can be understood through neurobiology and psychology:
- Neuroplasticity: The brain is adaptable, and it can rewire itself in response to changes in thinking patterns and behaviors. When individuals consciously choose to let go of negative thoughts and emotions related to the scam and the scammer, they initiate a process of neuroplasticity. Over time, the brain can form new neural pathways that support healthier emotional responses.
- Stress Reduction: Letting go of fixation on the crime and the criminal can lead to a reduction in stress. Chronic stress is associated with the release of stress hormones like cortisol, which can have detrimental effects on mental and physical health. Reducing stress through the act of letting go can help restore emotional well-being.
- Positive Emotion Regulation: Shifting focus away from the past can promote better emotion regulation. Victims can learn to identify and manage their emotions more effectively, which contributes to improved psychological well-being. This is linked to changes in the prefrontal cortex—the brain region responsible for executive functions and emotion regulation.
- Resilience Building: Letting go is an active process that involves reframing thoughts and redirecting attention. This process engages the brain’s cognitive control systems, which are responsible for decision-making, problem-solving, and goal pursuit. Over time, these cognitive processes can bolster resilience and enhance emotional recovery.
Summary
In summary, letting go of fixation on the crime and the criminal holds significant psychological value for scam victims. It reduces emotional distress, fosters resilience, and facilitates emotional recovery. This process works through neuroplasticity, stress reduction, positive emotion regulation, and resilience-building mechanisms in the brain, ultimately promoting a healthier and more balanced emotional state.
More:
- Forgiveness For Scam Victims: Letting Go Of Hate And Bitterness (romancescamsnow.com)
- Jay Shetty on Letting Go! [Video] (romancescamsnow.com)
- Letting Go & Doing Something About It (romancescamsnow.com) 2018
- Relationship Scams And Their Impact On Memory (scamsnow.com)
- Scam Victims And The Reactivity Loop (scamsnow.com)
- Recovering From Scams (romancescamsnow.com)
- Recovery & Support (romancescamsnow.com)
- The Psychology of Scams (romancescamsnow.com)
Do You Need Support?
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To apply to join our groups visit support.AgainstScams.org
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.
Letting go was instrumental in moving forward with my healing. Once I accepted I was a crime victim I began to focus on ways to survive this period of my life. I found SCARS and my free time is occupied with learning and connecting with its community. I’m making progress and learning so much about myself.
With the newness of my fraud still with me, I am in the process of letting go. Some days my thoughts drift to the scammer more often and those are the days I wonder if I misread the situation. Then I think about how could I have misread the fraud considering the amount of money now gone that I have to repay. Then I feel an almost contempt of myself. Other days it barely crosses my mind. I believe the crime becomes like handling a Rubik’s cube – something to do with our hands since there were months we were using our phones or keyboards to create that world that is most definitely NOT for us! I truly feel that keeping our hands busy with volunteer work, or hobbies is exactly what is needed; maybe even journaling can fill that time? The point is that we have to move forward in order to heal. We need to make the decision of staying in the past where quite definitely we were unhappy while in the fraud, or to decide to move forward into light, joy and forgiveness.
Letting go gives me the freedom to move on from my mistake. I can then make room to live in the present and plan for the future.
After documenting and reporting the scam to law enforcement agencies I was ready to put it in the past. With help from SCARS I will be reinforcing and guiding my recovery by focusing on the present and reshaping my future.
I think that’s the clue. Let go and never look back