Last Updated on by SCARS Editorial Team

You Need To Let Go

A touch of “tough love” from Romance ScamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. Now

A victim recently corresponded with us about how he was scammed over a 6 month period by a Ghana scammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer. known as “GIFTY.” If you have read our website, you would know that anyone in Ghana named “Gifty” should be assumed to be a scammer.

What is always tragic is how hard it is to accept the fact that it was a scamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost..

Yet accepting that fact is essential to recovering from the scam.

Many many ask us to put them in contact with the real person who’s photos were being used (stolen) by scammers. They want to help that person and make sure they know this is being done with their photos.
In fact, we recently spoke with a model in Romania who was unaware this was being done.
Trust us when we say, they do not want to hear from victims that have been scammed.
It is not out of malice, it is that so often the scammer’s victim has fallen in love with the person they see in the photo – which is not the real person in that photo – that the desire to warn the real person is just a way to establish what the victim sees as the real target of their affection. Most of the persons know their photos are being used, and are powerless to stop it; they don’t need to hear from countless victims too. Especially victims that transfer their connection from the fake scammer to the real person.
There are many truths about dating and romance scams. One of them is that there are millions of victims. No matter what you felt or thought about the person you were connected to, you were being used – you were being scammed. This is hard to hear, but the sooner you accept that simple fact, the better you will be able to move on.
Dating and Romance scams ARE a big business. They bring in hundreds of millions or billions of dollars every year to little countries in Africa, such as Ghana, Nigeria, Liberia, Togo, Ivory Coast, Sierra Leon, Guinea, and others. Their local police laugh at the stupid Westerners that get scammed and voluntarily send their money. It is only when their national reputation is on the line that they care. If they cared, they would control this, but they don’t. There are a few countries, such as the Philippines and Malaysia that do care and work aggressively to stop it, but they are few. It is just the way it is.
We are also constantly asked to track down this scammer or that so that the victim can know their real identity. Victims want to confront their scammer, seeking recognition and closure. In a few cases we have been able to do this.
Our mission is to educate, inform, and provide what support we can. We do not get money from any government, we are supported by corporate grants, this is what powers our organization. We are not private detectives, yet victims get angry when we tell them this, as though we are responsible for righting their wrong. We wish we could.

Being a victim of a romance scam is the equivalent of being psychologically raped.

You have shared your most inner self, your desires, feelings, and soul with another person that you had trusted. Only to find out that it was all a lie, and worse, you were being used to line the pocket of a fraudsterFraudster A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer. half a world away. You were shown the kind loving face of a stranger and believed that you knew that person. That that person cared for you, and just needed a little of your help so that they could be with you.
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