SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years
How To Quickly Recognize And Stop A Romance Scam
About Romance Scams – How Scams Work
A SCARS Insight
How To Stop A Romance Scam In Its Tracks
Millions of people go online in search of romance, and while it does work out for a lot of folks, there are also plenty of fishy people lying in wait!
Scammers are always there impersonating real people and pretending to be interested in a relationship for the sole purpose of stealing your money or having you become the only traceable link (a money mule) in a money-laundering scheme.
Here are three warning signs you do not want to ignore.
For most people, the entire point of being in a relationship is to eventually to be together with one another as a couple; in other words, to have a real relationship with each other in person.
You want to share those moments together – listening to music, walking along the beach, going to the movies or out to eat, not to mention those intimate moments. That is what it is all about, rather than just online.
If your attempts to arrange to meet someone in real life (in a public place, after letting other people know where you’re going and whom you’re meeting) are repeatedly met with last-moment excuses why they can’t show up, it is time to suspect that the person you’ve been talking to is not who they claim to be. This is one of the most obvious of the red flags of a romance scam.
Similarly, another common feature of romance scams is a list of excuses for why the other person cannot talk via video chat. But don’t be fooled if they do! They’re always in an area with a poor internet connection, or they’re just too busy with their extremely successful career to show their face in real-time video.
NOTE ABOUT VIDEO CHATS: You are not an expert in digital content (we assume). Today, a huge number of advances allow scammers to steal (copy and download) videos and then digitally manipulate them to fool you. The one fact that you must rely on is that you will not be able to tell for sure!
They’ll send photo after photo, but when it comes to seeing each other over FaceTime or Zoom or Skype, there is always a reason they can’t! Or at least just yet. Of course, what is really happening is that they are not even remotely who they claim to be, and video chatting would spoil the illusion (most of the time.)
Finally, as soon as the person you’re communicating with brings up money or checks or investments or gift cards or cryptocurrency, whether they’re asking you to send money to them, receive money and distribute it to others, cash a check for them, and return the funds via wire transfer, something involving a CashApp or Zelle or PayPal or Western Union or a Bank Wire Transfer – anything, at any time, for any supposed reason, this confirms that you are talking to a scammer.
NO REAL PERSON – A STRANGER – THAT YOU MEET ONLINE IS GOING TO ASK FOR MONEY
UNLESS THEY ARE A SCAMMER!
As painful as it can be to realize you’ve been tricked, stop all contact immediately, and do not accept any further communication from them.
There is no salvaging the “relationship” because there never was one. It was all lies, it was all fake!
It’s over.
You are the victim of a relationship scam!
Now What?
It’s time for action, especially if you sent money to the scammer!
Here are SCARS Guides and Articles that will help you now:
- SCARS 3 Steps For New Scam Victims
- A Scam Victim’s Checklist
- How Can You Explain What Happened To Family And Friends?
- Next Steps – Protect Your Financial Identity
- From Victim To Survivor
Find more articles about scams in our RomanceScamsNOW.com Article Catalogs:
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.
I would never send money to someone I have never met. To me it is definately a scam, when they ask for money I cut them off dead.