Last Updated on by SCARS Editorial Team
SCARSSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS.™ Recovery: Write A Letter To Your ScammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer. – Say What You Feel!
Write A Letter That You Never Intend To Send
One of the great challenges of scamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. victim recovery is resolving those unresolvable conflicts, and one of the greatest is never really being able to tell your scammer how much they harmed you.
NOTICE: We DO NOT Recommend You Reopen Communications With Your Scammer, This Is For Your Benefit, Not Theirs!
You Have Things You Want To Say
This is not about their reaction, this is about yours. This is about you being able to privately and safely express the terrible feelings of hurt and regret and shameShame Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self; withdrawal motivations; and feelings of distress, exposure, mistrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness. that you feel after being violated in a romance scam. This is about saying the things that you could never express to them directly, or anyone else for that matter – just between your heart and the words.
It does not matter how long it is as long as you get everything down that you feel. This is not a dialog, this is a one time statement of your pain and the frustration you feel after the scam.
How To Begin
Just begin in the usal way …
I know that you will never read this but you hurt me and I need to tell you …
Remember, this is not a journal of your day to day life and feelings. This is your one chance to put down on paper or the screen your true inner pain and anguish – but do not send it, because your fragile emotional state would not respond well to what the scammer might say in reply.
If the scammer were to get this and reply, they would either ridicule you or apologize in an attempt to get more money from you. So DO NOT ever send this to them.
You Can Write More Than One
If you feel the need, you can write more than one. Although you will need to be careful here since too many can turn into an obsession. Almost no one would need to write for than a few.
Serves Another Purpose
This letter can also serve another important purpose for you in the days, weeks, and years to come. This is your own personal time capsule. It is a record of how you really felt at a singular moment in time.
As the months go by and you slowly recover you can look back at this after 6 or 12 or 18 months and see how far you have come from those feelings that you wrote about compared to where you are then.
Most victims that use this process find it gives them an incredible boost of confidence to realize just how much progress they have made in recovering. When you