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Scam Victim Surrender

Updated August 2022

Psychology of Scams
Manipulation & Control

A SCARS Insight

There Comes A Point In The Scam When the Victim Just Surrenders And Sends The Money

This is something that the scammers plan on as a means of exercising control over the victim.

It is not so much a conscious decision as it is a giving in.

Renowned authors Sanford Strong (“Strong on Defense” ») and J.J. Bittenbinder (“Tough Target” ») point out that:

“when someone is told a lie they desperately want to believe, they’re going to believe it”

That speaks to both cognitive biases but also to a desperation or a need to believe. All of which, when combined with the other manipulative techniques used by these criminals results in their control over the victim.

It’s About Emotion, Not Logic

Think about the first time you fell in love or a time when someone cut you off on the freeway and you were seething for hours. Were you thinking clearly? Probably not. You let your emotions rule!

SUR·REN·DER
/səˈrendər/
verb
cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.
capitulate, give in, give (oneself) up, yield, concede, submit, climb down, give way, defer, acquiesce, back down, cave in, relent, succumb, quit, crumble

Those who believe they’d never fall for a scam don’t realize it’s not about how smart you are; it’s about how well you control your emotions.

Thus everyone can be scammed, and eventually, everyone will be scammed!

Fraud victims are people with emotional needs, just like the rest of us. But they can’t separate out those needs when they make emotion-based decisions. That’s a part of what makes them vulnerable.

As any professional telemarketer can tell you: the first objective is to get the victim “under the ether.”

Ether is that fuzzy state when your emotions are stirred up and you’re so agitated that you won’t know which way is up and which is down. It is not anger, but it can be any strong emotion – greed, love, despair, or maybe desire. Once the scammer has gotten the victim into this condition, it doesn’t matter how smart or dumb they are, the scammer rules. Ether (emotion) trumps intelligence every time. Amygdala hijacks contribute to this.

The Two Most Powerful Ways To Do This Are Through Need And Greed – Scammers Use Both

Scammers find victims based on their emotional needs.  Elderly widowers are typically in need of love, communication, and understanding. So romance scammers target these victims. Especially, victims who have lost a spouse through death or divorce.

Teenage girls are driven by their need to be accepted, understood, and lust

Men are frequently driven by their need to save someone – a damsel in distress.

These are not the only factors that contribute to vulnerability but they are primary ones.

Then the drilling down through the victim’s needs to find the right emotional buttons or pain points that will get the Victim to Surrender to the Scammer’s Will

They start with pronouncements and a continuous stream of banter, but all the while they are interrogating the victim by asking personal questions. Once they have enough knowledge of the victim – and this process can happen fast, then they will throttle up the pressure by focusing on that need. “I love you and I want to come to visit you but I do not have the money” Or “I have an emergency,” etc.

Now the person isn’t thinking about whether it is a scam but instead the emotionally feel : “Here’s a fix for my problems.” – I will send him/her money! I have money and all will be well.

The “crush,” or the “kill” — that’s what telemarketers and scammers call closing the deal — is emotionally driven. It’s not logical. If you apply logic, the answer is always “No, I am not going to send you my hard-earned money. I don’t even know who you are.” If victims had applied logic to scams, they would have walked away every time.

The Surrender Is Also The Victim’s Proof That They Trust The Scammer

Scammers are also experts in manipulating victims through the trust stages in the false relationship. They deliberately create moments of doubt to test the victim. There will be a series of small tests leading to larger and larger ones, eventually leading to sending the first small amount, and then each one is larger and larger.

These moments of surrender are when the victim abandons distrust

At first, everything is great, then comes the first moment of doubt or a trust test that the scammer engineers. It starts with a small one that the scammer uses to get you over the hump. If the scammer can get you through the small tests they know that your emotional investment will help get you through the larger ones. It is like momentum – it is emotionally easier to go forward than to stop and back out.

This is especially true once you have started to send money. That moment always comes up “If I stop now I will lose everything I have sent.” If you just send a little more everything will be alright. That is called Chasing The Money » and is a technique that scammers use to maintain the Victim’s Surrender.

Once A Victim Has Surrendered

Most of the time, once a victim has surrendered to the scammer, the scammer will bleed them until the bank runs dry. Once the scammer knows there is nothing more they will simply drop the victim and move on to the next. However, frequently they will also give or sell the information – sometimes the full transactional transcripts to other scammers for different kinds of scams, such as: investigative scams, money recovery scams, etc. That is because they know that the victim remains vulnerable.

Other Than Romance Scams

The other pathway to the ether is simple greed: The scammer just promises victims they can make a ton of money. This is the core of the 419 Advance fee fraud scams.

By the time things begin to look dicey, victims tend to be so invested, emotionally and often physically, that they do most of the persuasion themselves.

Victims may even choose to increase their involvement themselves, even as things turn south (meaning there are constantly new problems that require more money – this is called Chasing The Money) so that by the time the victim is completely bankrupt they don’t quite know what hit them.

Silence

The scammer may not even need to convince the victim to stay quiet after the scam as they are more likely than not to do it themselves because of shame. People are, after all, the best deceivers of their own minds.

At each step of the scam, scammers draw from a seemingly endless toolbox of ways to manipulate their victim’s beliefs.  As the victim becomes more committed (surrenders), with every step the victim gives the scammer more psychological material to work with to hold onto to control.

Summary

Needless to say, all scam victims have experienced this moment of surrender. The best defense is to never engage – do not accept friend requests, do not engage in conversation, and trust no one until you are sure they are real, and even then remain skeptical.

Avoiding scams is mostly behavioral because your emotions will give you away and betray you. Learn to change how you approach people. Learn to pause before you engage. Even waiting an hour can dampen the emotions to allow you to think more clearly,

PLEASE SHARE SO OTHERS WILL KNOW

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Visit reporting.AgainstScams.org to learn more!

Published On: March 6th, 2019Last Updated: August 7th, 2022Categories: Psychology of Scams, 2019, Insights, Scammer Techniques & MethodsTags: , , , , , , ,

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Important Information for New Scam Victims

If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org

If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

A Note About Labeling!

We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!

A Question of Trust

At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.

Statement About Victim Blaming

Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.

These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.

Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org

Psychology Disclaimer:

All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only

The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.

While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.

Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.

If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.

Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.

If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.