In Our Experience, There Are Three Main Causes Of Anger In Scam Victims
Anger is nothing unusual to scam victims. Almost every victim goes through the grief cycle and passes through the anger phase. In addition, most victims are also traumatized and anger results from the fight response.
However, in addition to these major forms of anger, there are three forms of guilt-driven anger that we have observed over many years and tens f thousands of victims.
THESE THREE FORMS ARE:
- guilt caused by a victim’s inability to forgiveForgiveness What Is Forgiveness? Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. themself
- guilt caused by a victim’s resistance to or abandonment of their recovery
- guilt caused by a victim’s inability to forgive the criminalCriminal A criminal is any person who through a decision or act engages in a crime. This can be complicated, as many people break laws unknowingly, however, in our context, it is a person who makes a decision to engage in unlawful acts or to place themselves with others who do this. A criminal always has the ability to decide not to break the law, or if they initially engage in crime to stop doing it, but instead continues.
Let’s Explore These:
1. GUILT CAUSED BY A VICTIM’S INABILITY TO FORGIVE THEMSELF
It is completely accepted that the victim of a socially engineered financial crime is not to blameBlame Blame or Blaming is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong, their action is blameworthy. By contrast, when someone is morally responsible for doing something right, we may say that his or her action is praiseworthy. Blame imparts responsibility for an action or act, as in that they made a choice to perform that act or action. for their financial losses and are traumatized as a result of the manipulation and control they were placed under.
Essentially, the victim is not to blame for the scam. They were lured, captured, groomed, manipulated, and controlled into performing as the criminals wanted.
However, most new victims, and even many victims many months or even years after the scam ended still hold on to this self-blameSelf-Blame Victim blaming occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them. SCARS seeks to mitigate the prejudice against victims and the perception that victims are in any way responsible for the actions of offenders or scammers. There is historical and current prejudice against the victims of domestic violence and sex crimes, such as the greater tendency to blame victims of rape than victims of robbery. Scam victims are often blamed by family & friends for the crime. Scam victims also engage in self-blame even though they are not to blame..
The blame itself creates internal conflicts for the victim that mostly results in shameShame Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self; withdrawal motivations; and feelings of distress, exposure, mistrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness. and anger. These victims know they should be able to forgive themselves but are unable to do it for a multitude of psychological reasons.
The result is very often a state of increasing agitation, self-loathing, and anger that can lead to rageRage Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability. and even hate. We see this manifested very often in the increased hate victims feel for both the criminals and those trying to help them.
Once this has set in, we believe that traumaTrauma Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. Psychological trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away. It can also leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people. Traumatic experiences often involve a threat to life or safety or other emotional shocks, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can result in trauma, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm. It’s not the objective circumstances that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized. Trauma requires treatment, either through counseling or therapy or through trauma-oriented support programs, such as those offered by SCARS. counselingCounseling Counseling is the professional guidance of the individual by utilizing psychological methods especially in collecting case history data, using various techniques of the personal interview, and testing interests and aptitudes. A mental health counselor (MHC), or counselor, is a person who works with individuals and groups to promote optimum mental and emotional health. Such persons may help individuals deal with issues associated with addiction and substance abuse; family, parenting, and marital problems; stress management; self-esteem; and aging. They may also work with "Social Workers", "Psychiatrists", and "Psychologists". SCARS does not provide mental health counseling. or therapy is the most viable solution to resolving this.
2. GUILT CAUSED BY A VICTIM’S RESISTANCE TO OR ABANDONMENT OF THEIR RECOVERY
In the days following the end of a relationship scamRelationship Scam A Relationship Scam is a one-to-one criminal act that involves a trust relationship and uses deception & manipulation to get a victim to give to the criminal something of value, such as money! Click here to learn more: What Is A Relationship Scam?, victims are often in a combination of emotional states. These can include panic, fear, and desperation for answers.
In addition, the first responses to their developing trauma emerge. For victims that respond in fight mode, this includes anger – not specifically directed, just directed at almost everyone.
If they are sufficiently able to realistically assess their situation and seek help, they will find multiple programs available such as the SCARS Scam Victim Recovery Program approach. As part of this program scam, victims enter into support groupsSupport Groups In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers., as well as find local trauma counselors or therapists. At least that is what they are supposed to do, but too often victims do not seek local counseling and as such miss out on an important part of their recovery support circle.
Also, victims need to both report these crimes to their local policeLocal Police The Local Police is your first responder in most countries. In most English-speaking countries and in Europe report to them first. In other countries look for your national cybercrime police units to report scams to. In the U.S., Canada, & Australia, you must report to the local police first. and national authorities, as part of their duty to help fight these crimes, but also because it is such an important step in re-establishing the victim’s own control over the crime. Most victims do not do this and it is harmful to their recovery.
One more step that all victims should do is to tell their story to family or friends to relieve the terrible burden of secrecy that they are living under. They do not need to tell every little aspect, just the broad strokes of the story to release themselves from the stress that secrecy places on them. Few do this in the early stages, so it can be a significant contributor to their ongoing trauma.
Victims often can become quite resistant to recovery, arriving at a point of resignation, such as “I am fine. This is never happening again. I do not what to hear or talk about it anymore.” They go silent and stop participating actively in their own recovery.
The combination of the failure to do their duty and report the crime, the maintenance of secrecy, and resisting or abandoning their own recovery manifests in guilt, and from that shame. Victims blame themselves for not being able to move forward.
Like other forms of behaviorBehavior Behavior / Behavioral Actions Otherwise known as habits, behavior or behavioral actions are strategies to help prevent online exploitation that target behavior, such as social engineering of victims. Changing your behavior is the ONLY effective means to reduce or prevent scams., such as procrastination (which can also play a role in this) this is something that victims can work on themselves. Though it may also benefit from trauma counseling or therapy. This is just one of the reasons why SCARS recommends that all victims see a local trauma counselor or therapist.
3. GUILT CAUSED BY A VICTIM’S INABILITY TO FORGIVE THE CRIMINAL
Most victims understand the concept of forgivenessForgiveness What Is Forgiveness? Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.. However, and this is normal, for many months, sometimes years, victims find it very difficult to explore forgiveness of the criminals that harmed them. This is quite normal.
Where it begins to be a problem is after the victims have passed 12 to 24 months after the scam ended and they are still not able to accept the concept of forgiveness – regardless of how imperfectly.
Time heals but not if the scam victim is holding on to anger and hate for the criminals that manipulated and controlled them and stole their money. Holding in that residual anger, rage, or hate is not healthy – almost everyone can agree on that. But many scam victims – perhaps as many as a third are unwilling to work on this.
This forgiveness is not easy, yet intellectually victims know they need to do it – but just do not want to or are unable to. Especially if the victim is religious, and forgiveness is a cornerstone concept of that religion, it creates an internal conflict that creates guilt inside the victim.
As time progresses this guilt turns into more anger against themselves and often is projected onto others.
This is perhaps the most difficult form of forgiveness, but it is possible. It begins with a decision to do it, and to release the anger and hate – it can be done slowly, but at least the decision has been made.
THE COMBINATIONAL EFFECT
It does not take much to realize that the average scam victim could be experiencing ALL THREE of these anger generation guilt-based effects.
These can have a profound impact and the victim’s trauma, their ability to have close relationships and trust, and long-term self-loathing that can result in many different types of mental disorders.
This is why it is so important for every victim to actively working letting these three forms of guilt go.
- Report to the police
- Accept that they are not to blame and forgive themself
- Tell friends and family
- Forgive the criminals
Each of these is both easy and maybe some of the hardest things a victim has ever had to do. But in doing them, they relieve a burden that can be crushing.
The first 3 are easier than the last. But at least if you can make a firm commitment that you are going to find a way, then day after day it will become easier.
Essential Tools For Every Scam SurvivorSurvivor A Scam Survivor is a victim who has been able to fully accept the reality of their situation. That they were the victim of a crime and are not to blame. They are working on their emotional recovery and reduction of any trauma either on their own, through a qualified support organization, or through counseling or therapy. And has done their duty and reported the crime to their local police, national police, and on Anyscam.com From SCARS Publishing
Each is based on our SCARS Team’s 32 plus years of experience.
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SCARS GREEN BOOK
Self-Help Self-Paced Recovery Program Guide
LEARN HOW TO RECOVER ON YOUR OWN
This program is designed to help scam victims struggling to recover on their own and for those who want to understand the overall process. You can be using other resources, such as trauma counseling or therapy, qualified support groups, or completely independent – on your own!
The SCARS Steps program is a complete program and is provided for the purpose of helping scam victims to overcome this experience. Throughout this SCARS Steps Program, we speak about issues and challenges that a victim may have and help guide them through their recovery. But each person is different and it is important to understand your own reasons for being vulnerable to being scammed.
After the trauma of being scammed, you need to take steps to recover and move on. This may be an alternative to counseling in the short term, but we still encourage you to seek out professional help & support. Throughout this SCARS Steps Program, we speak about issues, challenges, defects, or problems that a victim may have in a generalized way.
The SCARS GREEN BOOK will help you recover from your scam offline and it will always be there when you need it!
SCARS SLATE BOOK – Let Us Explain What Happened!
A Guide For Families & Friends Of Scam Victims
HOW TO HELP ROMANCE SCAM VICTIMS FOR FAMILIES & FRIENDS OF SCAM VICTIMS
This SCARS Publishing book represents a complete guide to help the families and friends understand how these scamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. work and how to help the victim.
The SCARS Slate Book should be purchased by family and friends to better understand what happened to the victim and the traumatic impact on them. But it can also be shared by the victim so that they do not have to explain to family and friends about the scam. This publication is to help others to help Scam Victims to make it through this traumatic experience and recover.
Each person is different and it is important to understand how relationship scamsRelationship Scam A Relationship Scam is a one-to-one criminal act that involves a trust relationship and uses deception & manipulation to get a victim to give to the criminal something of value, such as money! Click here to learn more: What Is A Relationship Scam? work and why people are vulnerable; to being scammed, how they were lured in, then groomed and manipulated. This understanding is essential in helping them through the process of ending the scam and then on to recovery. The SCARS Slate Book will provide the information necessary to help support a victim through this process.
SCARS RED BOOK
Your Personal Scam Evidence & Crime Record Organizer
ORGANIZE YOUR INFORMATION TO MAKE THE REPORTING PROCESS SIMPLE!
Helps you get and stay organized. This publication is to help Scam Victims organize their crime information. Complete this information before reporting to the police then bring this book with you
Before or after reporting to the police the RED BOOK gives you a dedicated tool to record all the essential facts of this crime. The Victim, the Scammers, the Money, and your Police interactions. Everything that really matters can be easily recorded for your immediate use and for the future!
As we have seen, money recovery/repayment programs can become available years after the scam ends and you need to keep all the details of this crime in case it is needed. We have also seen scammers being extradited to the U.S. and other countries, this will help in the event you testify or give statements, Additionally, this helps you have your information ready to qualify for victims’ benefits, compensation, or aid.
The Official SCARS RED BOOK is your way of recording all the important facts of this crime so that you do not lose essential information, Complete the RED BOOK then put it away with the confidence that you will have it if or when it is needed.
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By the Society of Citizens Against Relationship ScamsSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS. Inc.
A Worldwide Crime Victims Assistance & Crime Prevention Nonprofit Organization Headquartered In Miami Florida USA & Monterrey NL Mexico, with Partners In More Than 60 Countries
To Learn More, Volunteer, or Donate Visit: www.AgainstScams.org
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