Sending A Letter To Your Scammer – Getting The Last Word!
Most Scam Victims Wish They Could Have A Last Word! This Will Allow That Safely!
Psychology of Scams – A SCARS Insight
Article Abstract
Sending a letter to your scammer can offer emotional closure without direct confrontation. This letter was crafted to achieve specific psychological effects, helps victims express their pain and reclaim power.
It’s not about telling your story or confronting the criminal; it’s about leaving a lasting impact on the scammer’s conscience and letting you have the last word. The letter highlights the devastation caused, emphasizing the enduring guilt and shame the scammer will carry, affecting their future relationships and opportunities.
Victims should send this letter via email without alteration, ensuring its intended effect. If the scammer replies, avoid engagement to prevent further exploitation.
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
Sending a Letter to Your Scammer – Not to Confront Them, but Rather to Have the Last Say in a Very Traumatizing Experience can be Helpful to Victims!
As we have said many times, never confront the criminals, but there is a way to have the last word and that is to send them a letter.
We recommend that you send this letter to your scammer via email.
This may seem like a contradiction because we tell new victims to block the criminals and have no further contact. However, this is not having contact with them, this is delivering a final statement purposefully, a last word. This does not re-engage you in a conversation with the scammers. Just send it, and then do not respond to anything they reply.
DO NOT CHANGE IT!
It is crafted to achieve specific psychological effects, both for the victim and the scammer. It is not intended for you to tell your story, nor to confront the criminal. It is intended to be the last word that will remain in the scammer’s mind as they move forward from what they did to you. If you edit it, you risk reducing the effect and it turning into an emotionally charged confrontation or attack and that will throw away its value.
Just copy and paste it as it is – changing just your name and the scammer’s name.
THE LETTER
Subject: The Pain and Devastation You’ve Caused
Dear [Scammer’s Name],
I hope this letter finds you in a moment of reflection and understanding, though I doubt that will be the case. I am writing to you not with anger or hatred, but with a heavy heart filled with pain, trauma, and a desperate need for you to comprehend the devastation you have caused in my life.
When I first met you, I believed I had found someone who genuinely cared for me, who understood my vulnerabilities and shared in my dreams and hopes. I trusted you. I opened my heart to you, believing the emotions we shared were real. However, what you offered was nothing but a facade, a cruel deception designed to exploit my kindness and trust.
The financial loss I endured is significant and I will never recover from it, but it pales in comparison to the emotional and psychological trauma that continues to haunt me. Every day, I wake up with a sense of betrayal that permeates every aspect of my life. The realization that someone could be so callous, so calculating in their manipulation, has left me feeling isolated and broken. The friendships and connections I once valued have suffered, as I find it difficult to trust anyone anymore.
The shame and guilt I carry are overwhelming. I question my judgment, my intelligence, and my worth. How could I have been so blind? Why didn’t I see the signs? These questions plague me, eroding my self-esteem and self-worth. The psychological scars are deep, and the journey to healing is long and arduous.
But what about you? Have you ever paused to consider the burden of guilt and shame that will inevitably catch up with you? The curse of the lies you weave and the trust you betray cannot ever be forgotten. The faces of those you’ve hurt will haunt you, and the weight of your actions will bear down on your conscience. Every time you look in the mirror, you will see the reflection of the pain you have caused. You may try to bury it, to rationalize your actions, but deep down, you will know the truth.
This guilt will not just affect you; it will permeate every aspect of your life. Your relationships with family and friends will be tainted by the dishonesty that has become a part of your existence. The deceit you have sown will cast a long shadow over your future, making it difficult to form genuine connections or experience true happiness. Every new relationship will carry the seeds of mistrust, planted by your own actions.
Think about the opportunities you are sacrificing for the sake of short-term gain. The reputation you are building will follow you, closing doors to legitimate avenues of success and fulfillment. The shame of your actions will be a constant companion, whispering in your ear and reminding you of the hurt you have caused.
I want you to understand that your actions have consequences beyond the financial. You have taken advantage of my deepest vulnerabilities, leaving me to pick up the pieces of a shattered life. The emotional support you pretended to offer has left a void so profound that some days, it feels insurmountable.
I hope you take a moment to consider the human cost of your actions. The pain you have inflicted is real, and it is enduring. I am not the only one who suffers because of your deceit; my family, friends, and loved ones are affected too, as they witness my struggle and try to help me through the darkness you have cast over my life.
I am working hard to recover, to rebuild my trust in others and myself. This letter is part of that process. By confronting you with the truth of what you have done, I reclaim a part of the power you took from me. I will heal, and I will find strength in this painful experience.
In closing, I want you to know that despite the immense hurt you have caused, I choose to move forward with my life. Your actions will not define me. I will rise from this, stronger and wiser. But I hope that someday, you will reflect on the pain you have caused and choose a different path, one that does not involve the suffering of others.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
REMEMBER
Do not change this, it is engineered to have an effect that any changes would diminish.
This letter is for YOUR benefit, not the scammers’. It tells what you might not have been able to say coherently and completely. It proclaims your independence, your autonomy, and your defiance.
As you go through the process of copying and pasting it, adding the names, and sending it, be mindful of how you feel before, during, and especially afterward. Let a few hours go by and see how you feel then. Do you feel better? Has a small portion of the weight lifted off of your chest or back?
We hope this helps you!
IMPORTANT NOTE:
If the scammer responds, do not read the reply. At least not immediately. Some scammers may try to leverage this to get you re-engaged and allowing them to try to exploit you again. You must not allow that to happen.
Simply send it, and ignore what comes back.
We wish you all the best!
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
More:
- Confronting Scammers & The Consequences Of What Can Follow 2019 [UPDATED 2024] (romancescamsnow.com)
- Recovery Psychology: There Is No “He” Or “She” In Romance Scams – 2021 [UPDATED 2023] (romancescamsnow.com)
- ScamPsychology.org
- Psychology of Scams: When Panic Sets In (romancescamsnow.com)
- Understanding Trauma Compulsions – Psychology of Scams (romancescamsnow.com)
- Survivorship Bias & Romance Scams – Psychology of Scams (romancescamsnow.com)
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
SCARS Resources:
- Getting Started Right: ScamVictimsSupport.org
- Sextortion Scam Victims: Sextortion Victims Support – The Essentials (scamvictimssupport.org)
- For New Victims of Relationship Scams newvictim.AgainstScams.org
- Subscribe to SCARS Newsletter newsletter.againstscams.org
- Sign up for SCARS professional support & recovery groups, visit support.AgainstScams.org
- Join our Scam Survivors United Chat & Discussion Group facebook.com/groups/scam.survivors.united
- Find competent trauma counselors or therapists, visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
- Become a SCARS Member and get free counseling benefits, visit membership.AgainstScams.org
- Report each and every crime, learn how to at reporting.AgainstScams.org
- Learn more about Scams & Scammers at RomanceScamsNOW.com and ScamsNOW.com
- Scammer photos ScammerPhotos.com
- SCARS Videos youtube.AgainstScams.org
- Self-Help Books for Scam Victims are at shop.AgainstScams.org
- Worldwide Crisis Hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/
Other Cyber Resources
- Block Scam Domains: Quad9.net
- Global Cyber Alliance ACT Cybersecurity Tool Website: Actionable Cybersecurity Tools (ACT) (globalcyberalliance.org) https://act.globalcyberalliance.org/index.php/Actionable_Cybersecurity_Tools_(ACT)_-_Simplified_Cybersecurity_Protection
- Wizer Cybersecurity Training – Free Security Awareness Training, Phishing Simulation and Gamification (wizer-training.com)
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.
If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.
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- AnyScam.com – reporting
- AgainstScams.org – SCARS Corporate Website
- SCARS YouTube Video Channel
Should I send one to each email address provided to me from them?
I sent this letter months ago but it was never read. I guess my scammer gave up and abandoned my account.
I did the last letter to the criminals that scammed me. It was a great reliever of stress, in my experience. I did not get a response from any of the three, and I am perfectly fine with that.
Interesting