SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years
SCARS™ Scam Basics: Why Do They Call You Dear?
Why do they use “Dear” or “Sweetheart” or other endearments?
en·dear·ment
noun – plural noun: endearments
a word or phrase expressing love or affection.
synonyms: sweet nothings, sweet words, sweet talk, affectionate talk, soft words;
expressing love or affection. “a term of endearment,” synonyms: affection, fondness, tenderness, feeling, sentiment, warmth, love, liking, care, regard, attachment”he spoke to her formally and without endearment”Here is a list of endearments – but note that endearments are language and even regionally specific: https://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2015/02/12/timeline-terms-of-endearment-poppet-sweetheart/ »
It is true that scammers often have many victims they are working at one time. Meaning they are switching back and forth between victims at the same time.
Scammers can typically work as many as 100 victims at the same time. Some being prospected, other groomed, and others being closed or harvested – meaning taking money.
It is partly to avoid mistakes, but also because the scammers work in teams to maintain coverage for 24 hours a day. So this helps different team members avoid mistakes by calling a victim by the wrong name.
It is also a point where they can use the endearment to begin triggering Amygdala Hijacks (see our article on this »).
It is also because they have an odd sense of romantic dialog. Much of their knowledge about this comes from a combination of romance novels and scripts that were written for them. The scripts use the “Dear” in place of the name, so the scammer simply follows it.
As much as anything it has become a habit – a kind of convention in their speech.
One last point is that “Dear” is a safe endearment. Since so many endearments are specific to the language or region – the choice of endearment is very important. Notice that in the case of most couples they develop personal endearments quickly – scammers never do this. They also do not use endearments in humor the way a normal couple would – their use is always serious and devoid of humor.
The use of endearments in this way is common for scammers almost everywhere, not just from Africa.
Thank you to Clair for asking a lot of questions!
If you have questions, please leave them in a comment and we will respond
SCARS™ Team
A SCARS Division
Miami Florida U.S.A.
TAGS: Dear, Scammer Speech, Scammer Habits, Endearments, Scammer Tactics, Manipulation,
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FAQ: How Do You Properly Report Scammers?
It is essential that law enforcement knows about scams & scammers, even though there is nothing (in most cases) that they can do.
Always report scams involving money lost or where you received money to:
- Local Police – ask them to take an “informational” police report – say you need it for your insurance
- Your National Police or FBI (www.IC3.gov »)
- The SCARS|CDN™ Cybercriminal Data Network – Worldwide Reporting Network HERE » or on www.Anyscam.com »
This helps your government understand the problem, and allows law enforcement to add scammers on watch lists worldwide.
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Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
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All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
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