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SCARS™ Scam Basics: Why Do They Call You Dear?

Why do they use “Dear” or “Sweetheart” or other endearments?

noun – plural noun: endearments
a word or phrase expressing love or affection.
synonyms: sweet nothings, sweet words, sweet talk, affectionate talk, soft words;
expressing love or affection. “a term of endearment,” synonyms: affection, fondness, tenderness, feeling, sentiment, warmth, love, liking, care, regard, attachment”he spoke to her formally and without endearment”

Here is a list of endearments – but note that endearments are language and even regionally specific: https://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2015/02/12/timeline-terms-of-endearment-poppet-sweetheart/ »

It is true that scammers often have many victims they are working at one time. Meaning they are switching back and forth between victims at the same time.

Scammers can typically work as many as 100 victims at the same time. Some being prospected, other groomed, and others being closed or harvested – meaning taking money.

It is partly to avoid mistakes, but also because the scammers work in teams to maintain coverage for 24 hours a day. So this helps different team members avoid mistakes by calling a victim by the wrong name.

It is also a point where they can use the endearment to begin triggering Amygdala Hijacks (see our article on this »).

It is also because they have an odd sense of romantic dialog. Much of their knowledge about this comes from a combination of romance novels and scripts that were written for them. The scripts use the “Dear” in place of the name, so the scammer simply follows it.

As much as anything it has become a habit – a kind of convention in their speech.

One last point is that “Dear” is a safe endearment. Since so many endearments are specific to the language or region – the choice of endearment is very important. Notice that in the case of most couples they develop personal endearments quickly – scammers never do this. They also do not use endearments in humor the way a normal couple would – their use is always serious and devoid of humor.

The use of endearments in this way is common for scammers almost everywhere, not just from Africa.

Thank you to Clair for asking a lot of questions!

If you have questions, please leave them in a comment and we will respond

SCARS the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated


A SCARS Division
Miami Florida U.S.A.



TAGS:  Dear, Scammer Speech, Scammer Habits, Endearments, Scammer Tactics, Manipulation,

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It is essential that law enforcement knows about scams & scammers, even though there is nothing (in most cases) that they can do.

Always report scams involving money lost or where you received money to:

  1. Local Police – ask them to take an “informational” police report – say you need it for your insurance
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SCARS™ Scam Basics: Why Do They Call You Dear? 2


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SCARS™ RomanceScamsNow.com™ is the official knowledge and victims' support publication of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams™ Incorporated [SCARS]™ It is edited and published by the SCARS Team. Contact@AgainstScams.org SCARS is the world's leading anti-scam charitable nonprofit nongovernmental organization, based in Miami Florida U.S.A. Its founder has been involved in combating online fraud since 1991. SCARS™ - the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. is a charitable nonprofit nongovernmental organization (NGO) dedicated to advocating victim's causes and changing government and law enforcement attitudes toward online fraud for good! Please join us in becoming a member of SCARS - it's free! Add your voice so that the world will listen at last - just go to www.AgainstScams.org. The SCARS|RSN website and all of our publications (including social media) are maintained by our own staff employees and volunteers to provide you the most up to date information about scams & scammers from around the world. We show you how to avoid them or recover from them. SCARS is the only registered online crime victims' assistance & support organization in the world. Be sure to report scammers here. Also, visit our main Facebook page for more information about romance scams.