Last Updated on by SCARS Editorial Team

SCARSSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit to learn more about SCARS.ScamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. Basics: Why Do They Call You Dear?

Why do they use “Dear” or “Sweetheart” or other endearments?

noun – plural noun: endearments
a word or phrase expressing love or affection.
synonyms: sweet nothings, sweet words, sweet talk, affectionate talk, soft words;
expressing love or affection. “a term of endearment,” synonyms: affection, fondness, tenderness, feeling, sentiment, warmth, love, liking, care, regard, attachment”he spoke to her formally and without endearment”

Here is a list of endearments – but note that endearments are language and even regionally specific: »

It is true that scammers often have many victims they are working at one time. Meaning they are switching back and forth between victims at the same time.

Scammers can typically work as many as 100 victims at the same time. Some being prospected, other groomed, and others being closed or harvested – meaning taking money.

It is partly to avoid mistakes, but also because the scammers work in teams to maintain coverage for 24 hours a day. So this helps different team members avoid mistakes by calling a victim by the wrong name.

It is also a point where they can use the endearment to begin triggering Amygdala Hijacks (see our article on this »).

It is also because they have an odd sense of romantic dialog. Much of their knowledge about this comes from a combination of romance novels and scripts that were written for them. The scripts use the “Dear” in place of the name, so the scammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer. simply follows it.

As much as anything it has become a habit – a kind of convention in their speech.

One last point is that “Dear” is a safe endearment. Since so many endearments are specific to the language or region – the choice of endearment is very important. Notice that in the case of most couples they develop personal endearments quickly – scammers never do this. They also do not use endearments in humor the way a normal couple would – their use is always serious and devoid of humor.

The use of endearments in this way is common for scammers almost everywhere, not just from Africa.

Thank you to Clair for asking a lot of questions!

If you have questions, please leave them in a comment and we will respond

SCARS the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated


A SCARS Division
Miami Florida U.S.A.



TAGS:  Dear, Scammer Speech, Scammer Habits, Endearments, Scammer Tactics, Manipulation,