SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years
SCARS™ Editorial: Are We Not All Tired Of The Outrage!?
What Is Wrong With People Sometimes?
[lwptoc]
Don’t We Have Enough Rage And Hate In The World?
When you are interacting with Scam Victims, the answer is always no. Because rage knows no limits
When someone goes through the trauma of being a romance scam victim, after the shock and initial denial comes the anger. Anger at themselves, the scammer, the government, the money transfer company – pretty much anger at everyone – even the people trying to help them. The anger seems like it will never stop – however, for many it never does.
We provide recovery support for thousands of victims at any given time. A significant percentage of them are trapped by their anger and outrage over almost everything.
Even a victims assistance organization like SCARS can easily become their focus. It is why there are so many haters in the victim community. They are in pain and if someone is not doing what they believe should happen they are the enemy too.
This is one of the primary reasons why police have such difficulty with scam victims
It is not so much blaming the scam victims for the scam, as their natural response the overt or hidden outrage that victims express when reporting romance scams.
Victims come in wanting to report the crime – but what they really want is the police to drop everything, fly to Africa, and make it all better – arrest the scammer and get their money back. Except that is yet another fairy tale, it is not the way the real world works and when it does not happen the police are to blame and more outrage ensues.
This Editorial Is Not To Blame Victims
But rather to help them understand some of the reactions of others in official capacities when trying to do their best to help.
Fortunately, as the months go by, the rage reduces naturally. This is the normal process of recovery as acceptance takes over from the anger and rage. But not always.
RAGE or OUTRAGE Is Always There
The trauma of a romance scam is always lurking below the surface like the Great White Shark in Jaws – except you don’t have the theme music to tell you when it is going to resurface. It can pop up at any time.
This is one of the symptoms and consequences of PTSD in scam victims
We recognize that this outrage is there in most scam victims but what is surprising is for how long it remains. We have seen victims who have 5, 6, 7 years since their scams remain powerless when confronted with situations where their sense of outrage resurfaces – destructively at the wrong moments.
Of course, this is the PTSD breaking through – at least in many cases and the unresolved issues of self-forgiveness and incomplete recovery. But it is that very same engine that helped get the victim hooked in the beginning that has now been reprogramed to explode at the wrong moments. It is one of the reasons why so many scam victims are never able to form meaningful attachments or relationships either after they have been scammed – not the loss of trust.
As an online crime victims’ assistance organization we see this clearly
We express this not to be judgmental, but to help victims (at any stage of recovery) understand – difficult as it is – why romance scam victims respond as they do in different situations with different stimulus. The tragedy of this is also: that so few victims can recognize this in themselves and develop countermeasures to stop it when they feel it wanting to get out.
On a weekly basis, we see victims explode and storm out and away from us. Then they standoff at a distance and throw hate bombs.
More tragically, we see trusted friends and partners who were also scam victims in the past go through the same thing. This then results in the end of friendships and the end of partnerships and affiliations.
Many victims have experienced this loss in their own lives and wondered why it happened
When outrage surfaces the reaction of most other people is the back away from the person that is losing control. But outrage is a monster that wants to be fed and it will not stop until the destruction is complete. This occurs in personal relationships, in the workplace, professionally, and even in our families.
Outrage is the monster, not the people who are its current focus.
The Solution Is Always Intervention – Self-Intervention Or From Others
In our case, this sometimes results in having to isolate a victim who is otherwise in pain and need of help – but how or maybe better asked, why would a victims’ assistance professional sustain the continued assault on themselves by raging individuals? This results in compassion burn-out and causes the very high turnover rates of workers in the support roles for certain types of crime victims – certainly the police feel it and even our own staff.
Ironically the outrage causes greater isolation of the victim, which can or will contribute to other mental health concerns.
However, Every Victim Can Overcome This If They Recognize The Outrage In Themselves
With recognition comes the ability to better control it, work on it, and expel it from their lives. It is not easy though, and it required that the person be constantly on guard against the monster resurfacing. To not be on guard means that it will eventually cost you everything and everyone from your life.
One Last Point!
That is pride.
The flip side of the monster outrage is pride because once the Outrage monster has wrecked your life like Godzilla in Tokyo, then the Pride monster surfaces to prevent the repairs.
Most things in life can be repaired if you are willing to recognize your mistakes, and then admit them to the people that the outrage harmed. But if Pride steps in and prevents that, then it is just a forever downward spiral.
Be proud, but not Prideful
Recognize outrage and stop it wherever and whenever it appears as soon as you are able, but take responsibility for your actions, don’t let pride keep your life in ruins.
Besides, it is just so damn tiring!
More Insight On Outrage!
[contentcards url=”https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201709/coping-outrage-fatigue” target=”_blank”] [contentcards url=”https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy/201903/making-the-world-safe-outrage-escapism-and-rigidity” target=”_blank”] [contentcards url=”https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sound-mind/201812/cure-outrage-fatigue” target=”_blank”]Think About It
The next time you feel the outrage monster coming on, realize this is a part of the residual romance scam trauma.
Stop it – regardless of where or when – just stop it.
Then don’t bee to proud to acknowledge it.
It will make for a happier life, and a happier circle of friends, family, and coworkers!
PLEASE SHARE OUR ARTICLES WITH YOUR CONTACTS
HELP OTHERS STAY SAFE ONLINE
SCARS™ Team
A SCARS Division
Miami Florida U.S.A.
TAGS: SCARS, Important Article, Information About Scams, Anti-Scam, Outrage, Pride, Romance Scam Victim Rage & Anger, Irrational Response, PTSD in Romance Scam Victims, Overcoming Outrage, Scam Victim Recovery, Victims’ Assistance
The Latest SCARS|RSN Posts
FIND MORE SCAM NEWS
«SCAMCRIME.COM»
CHAT WITH SCARS™
«CLICK HERE»
END
MORE INFORMATION
– – –
Tell us about your experiences with Romance Scammers in our
« Scams Discussion Forum on Facebook »
– – –
FAQ: How Do You Properly Report Scammers?
It is essential that law enforcement knows about scams & scammers, even though there is nothing (in most cases) that they can do.
Always report scams involving money lost or where you received money to:
- Local Police – ask them to take an “informational” police report – say you need it for your insurance
- Your National Police or FBI « www.IC3.gov »
- The SCARS|CDN™ Cybercriminal Data Network – Worldwide Reporting Network « HERE » or on « www.Anyscam.com »
This helps your government understand the problem, and allows law enforcement to add scammers on watch lists worldwide.
– – –
Visit our NEW Main SCARS Facebook page for much more information about scams and online crime: « www.facebook.com/SCARS.News.And.Information »
To learn more about SCARS visit « www.AgainstScams.org »
Please be sure to report all scammers
« HERE » or on « www.Anyscam.com »
Legal Notices:
All original content is Copyright © 1991 – 2020 SCARS All Rights Reserved Worldwide & Webwide. Third-party copyrights acknowledge.
SCARS, RSN, Romance Scams Now, SCARS|WORLDWIDE, SCARS|GLOBAL, SCARS, Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams, Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams, SCARS|ANYSCAM, Project Anyscam, Anyscam, SCARS|GOFCH, GOFCH, SCARS|CHINA, SCARS|CDN, SCARS|UK, SCARS Cybercriminal Data Network, Cobalt Alert, Scam Victims Support Group, are all trademarks of Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated.
Contact the law firm for the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated by email at legal@AgainstScams.org
-/ 30 /-
What do you think about this?
Please share your thoughts in a comment below!
Article Rating
Table of Contents
POPULAR ARTICLES
Rapid Report Scammers
In the U.S. & Canada
U.S. & Canada Suicide Lifeline 988
RATE THIS ARTICLE?
LEAVE A COMMENT?
Thank you for your comment. You may receive an email to follow up. We never share your data with marketers.
Recent Comments
On Other Articles
on Scam Victim’s Responsibilities: “This article with the list of steps toward recovery and the video are thoughtful, beautiful and thought provoking. With the…” May 12, 21:12
on Disengaging From A Fake Scam Relationship: “This article felt like a trip back in time and a reminder of how far I’ve come. At first, the…” May 12, 18:33
on Report Scammers: “My gosh! I should have done a reverse photo lookup before deepening the conversation with a scammer. A man claiming…” May 11, 15:09
on Victim Lists (Sucker Lists) – Scammers Collect Scam Victims to Re-Use and Sell – 2025: “I remember that after the scam I was so afraid of being scammed again. I felt very vulnerable. Then, when…” May 9, 20:51
Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.
I feel bad, guilty that she maybe stuck in Canada becsuse of me. Still asking for the final 850 to get her back to the states. Texts me via a group text. I lost all and feel guilty
You are being scammed. Do not feel for a scammer.