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SCARS|RSN™ Scammer Urban Legends – Chapter 4 – Obsessive Scammer Exposing
Originally published chapters 3 and 4 were together, we split them for greater clarity.
The Compulsion To Expose!
When someone is recently victimized by a romance scammer they fall into one of four main categories:
- Those that simply hide
- Those that panic
- Those that are enraged & want revenge
- Those that want to understand
After some time passes they will develop distinct Mindsets, but that is not what we are exploring here.
The Four Kingdoms
ONE: Those That Hide
Those that hide are the ones that are in shock and will tend to stay in denial. Of course, most victims are in some shock after they discover the scam, but sadly this group has an incredibly hard time coming to grips with the facts so tends to just wall it all off. In time they will have to deal with it, but for the immediate future, they will simply avoid it. If you can reach this type of victim early, they can be converted before the avoidance sets in, but once it does they will neither discuss it nor report it – they live as if it never happened and suffer in silence.
This is also the group that tends to be rescammed most ofter too.
TWO: Those That Panic
Those that panic demonstrate significant fear and a mania for grasping at anyone that can help them. This group will be panicked about several issues, and many times all of them at once:
- That they get their money back – may also owe others for this money
- That they find the real person and let them know
- That find someone to save them from the treats the scammer(s) made
- That they get their scammer arrested immediately
- That no one else finds out
They will exhaust a huge amount of energy looking for someone who will promise to fix it all, but of course, no one can. This is the type of victim that cannot focus on recovery and seeks the charismatic cult-like anti-scam groups who promise the sun, the moon, and the stars. In time they may come to their senses but more often become either denialists or haters. These are victims that rarely recover from their scam cleanly or rapidly, it may take many years to recover at all.
THREE: Those That Rage
Anger is a normal reaction to finding out that you have been fooled to the extent that scammers do. Anger helps break the bonding and triggers a positive response in a victims personality – up to a point. It is where anger completely drives one’s thinking that they lose it to rage and hatred. Those that rage are not only outraged at their scammer but they immediately believe they are going to save everyone and anyone in their way is the enemy. We explore this more below.
FOUR: Those That Need To Understand
The healthiest group are those that are angry and in shock but fundamentally need to understand. Understand how this happened, how another person could do this to them – not out of panic but out of a design to understand the hows and whys of it. This is the group that is applying critical problem solving to this understanding. They will explore and attempt to truly understand this new universe they have fallen into. This is also the group that is most likely to fully recover and does so in the shortest amount of time (6 months to 18 months).
Ragers & Haters
The ones that are enraged become instant vigilantes demanding justice and insisting that they are going to expose all the scammers. They are personally going to stop scammers all by themselves.
If you see this trend in yourself we advise local counseling because the path where this leads is not a happy one.
They have no experience in global crime, no experience in African Political Affairs, and no real understanding of how scamming really works. This is not to put them down, but to show that complete lack of preparation they have.
Many of these people create pages or groups on social media and trash anyone that disagrees with their limited perspective.
These are the Anti-scam Haters
They have convinced themselves and their cult-like followers that they are going to solve this problem all by themselves. Unfortunately, there are hundreds of them and they do real harm to the real cause of stopping this global crime wave. Worse, their total lack of understanding of victim trauma means that mostly they increase the harm to other victims.
Fortunately, at least there are plenty that DO have a clue!
However, What Almost All Amateur Scammer Hunters Share Is The Desire, In Fact, The Obsession, With Exposing Scammers
They will post an endless stream of scammer photos, names, and profiles online. It becomes a life mission for many, excluding any normal life they might have.
It does seem logical, that posting the scammer’s fake profiles, photos and names will make a difference. In some cases, properly performed it can make a difference, but the shotgun approach they take and the places they do it has little impact.
Unfortunately, this is just substituting one madness (the fake relationship) for another (scammer obsession)
The truth is that scammers really don’t care that much about being exposed. They are not shamed – that is your concept, not theirs. Victims never learn about scams before they are scammed so exposing does almost nothing to prevent new victimization.
In the 30 years since scamming moved online, exposing scammers has done almost nothing to stop them.
HAVE YOU WONDERED WHY IT KEEPS GROWING YEAR AFTER YEAR WHEN ALL OF THESE PEOPLE ARE OUT THERE EXPOSING SCAMMERS?
Endlessly Exposing Scammers Is Not The Way To Stop Them
The scammers are professional, they have organizations that create millions of fake identities each year – there are now more than a billion fake identities out there now. Exposing them is just a cost