SCARS 3 Step Emotional Support & Recovery Program for Relationship Scam Victims

This is a support & recovery program invented by SCARS based on over 100 years of recovery & psychological science.

Please note the time scales are typical estimates. Each individual’s experience will vary based upon their own trauma and their commitment to their recovery. Step duration is fixed and a part of the program.

When we refer to therapy or counseling, this is independent of SCARS itself. SCARS recommends that all scam victims find professional trauma counseling or therapy. SCARS is partnered with BetterHelp.com to provide initial therapy through its SCARS STAR Membership program – but this is not mandatory for access to our Support & Recovery Program. To learn more about the SCARS STAR Membership visit membership.AgainstScams.org  To find trauma counselors or therapists worldwide visit counseling.AgainstScams.org

 The first 9 months – New Arrivers – Step 1

Initial Crisis Support

We have a special Step ZERO support group for scam victims who are overwhelmed and experiencing too much trauma to adapt to our regular groups just yet. The focus in the Step Zero group is stabilization.

Discovery and Crisis (3-8 Weeks +/-)

• Immediate Support:
  • Crisis Hotlines: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (988), Crisis Text Line (Text HOME to 741741)
  • Mental Health Professionals: Seek individual therapy or join a support group specifically for scam victims.
  • Legal and Financial Aid: Consult lawyers and financial advisors to secure your finances and explore legal options.
• Confronting the Reality:
  • Gather evidence and document the scam: This helps solidify the truth and prevent further engagement.
  • Educate yourself about the tactics used by the criminals: Understanding the whole process of victimization, including manipulation techniques employed can empower victims and prevent future scams.
  • Validate your emotions: Allow yourself to feel anger, sadness, and betrayal. Bottling them up will hinder healing.

Begin Processing the Grief and Understanding Trauma (next 12 Weeks +/-)

• Grieving the Lost Relationship:

  • Acknowledge the loss: Accept that the relationship was never real, and grieve the idealized version of the scammer.
  • Journaling and creative expression: Express your emotions through writing, art, or other creative outlets.
  • Support groups and therapy: Connecting with others who understand can provide solace and validation.

• Healing the Trauma:

  • Trauma-informed coaching and guidance: Helping survivors learn about their minds and how to better manage their own trauma and grief.
  • Trauma-focused therapy: Recommended third-part counseling or therapy to help address and learn techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) can help process and manage trauma symptoms.
  • Mindfulness and relaxation techniques: Practices like deep breathing and meditation can help manage stress and anxiety associated with the trauma.
  • Physical activity: Encouraging survivors to engage in exercise releases endorphins and promotes overall well-being.

Rebuilding Self-Esteem and Trust (next 16 Weeks +/-)

• Focus on self-compassion: Practice self-forgiveness and avoid self-blame. You were targeted by skilled manipulators, not because of any personal flaws.
• Rebuilding trust: Start small by confiding in trusted friends and family. Gradually rebuild your trust in yourself and your ability to discern genuine connections.
• Reconnecting with loved ones and friends: Open up about your experience and seek their support. Strengthen your existing relationships and create new, healthy connections. Begin to recognize that they were victims too.

Recovery Program Step 2

The next 12 months – Acceptance and Empowerment (Survivors)

• Reinforce recovery gains: Stay focused and committed to recovery and supporting others.
• Corrective actions: many survivors avoid or are resistant to necessary steps, but now must confront them.
• Acceptance: Integrate the experience into your life story without letting it define you.
• Setting boundaries: Develop healthy communication skills and establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from future manipulation.
• Advocacy and awareness: Consider sharing your story to raise awareness about scams and empower others.

Recovery Program STEP 3

For as long as they want – Acceptance and Empowerment (Thrivors)

• Socialization: Expand your community with other survivors and turn it into a social context
• Final Acceptance: Integrate the experience into your life story without letting it define you.
• Setting boundaries: Develop healthy communication skills and establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from future manipulation.
• Advocacy and awareness: Consider sharing your story to raise awareness about scams and empower others.

 Recovery Program Components 

Provided by SCARS:

• Individual support sessions
• Weekly zoom calls
• Support groups led by experienced facilitators
• Educational workshops on scam tactics and recovery strategies
• Mindfulness and relaxation techniques
• Physical activity and wellness sessions
• Creative expression workshops
• Legal and financial advice
• Peer mentoring and buddy system

Third-party services:

• Crisis Hotlines: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (988), Crisis Text Line (Text HOME to 741741)
• Mental Health Professionals: Seek individual therapy or join a support group specifically for scam victims. Either BetterHelp or other counseling or therapy.
• Legal and Financial Aid: Consult lawyers and financial advisors to secure your finances and explore legal options.

Key Principles:

• Trauma-informed care: Acknowledge the unique needs and experiences of scam victims.
• Compassion and empathy: Create a safe and supportive environment for healing.
• Empowerment and self-advocacy: Equip victims with the tools and knowledge to regain control and rebuild their lives.
• Holistic approach: Address the emotional, psychological, and practical aspects of recovery.

Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. This program is a roadmap, but everyone’s pace and needs will vary. With support, guidance, and self-compassion, you can move through the pain, rebuild your life, and emerge stronger from this experience.