Scam Victim Relapse

Scam Victim Relapse

Scam Victim Recovery

A SCARS Insight

About 5%-10% or More Scam Victims Will Be Scammed Again

The very sad truth is that many scam victims are scammed over and over. Our analysis shows that the average is about 3.4 times.

However, it is hardest to help those that end their scam, begin recovery, and then let their emotions continue to take control of them – leading them into still more scams!

PLEASE NOTE:  This is not intended for first-time victims – this is intended for those victims that relapse into new scams after beginning recovery! if you were a victim of more than one scam and were already on the path of recovery and stayed there then this is also not for you

THIS IS FOR VICTIMS WHO WERE RECOVERING FROM THEIR FIRST SCAM BUT DECIDED THEY KNEW BETTER!

What Is The Reality Of Scam Victim Relapse?

Relapse is when you do not recover – usually because you remain in shock, denial, anger, or otherwise the effect of believing you know better, and are scammed again.

Relapse is when you chose to throw away all that you have learned. Throw away the help and investment made by your family, friends, and support provider, because you know it will not happen again. Yet it did!

WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS TOPIC IN A VERY TRUTHFUL WAY – THIS MAY BE HARD, BUT IT IS THE TRUTH

In order to recover after a relapse, there are some very hard truths that the victim has to hear, or it will just happen again and again.

We know this because we have seen it thousands of times.

Any new victim that does not listen and believes they know best is delusional. Sorry, that is just the way it is.

This goes beyond simple cognitive biases or cognitive distortions. Delusions can cause a victim to repeat their previous steps and become a victim again and again because they are refusing to accept reality.

However, It Is Not Just About Delusions, It Is Also About Decisions

This time it is a different situation. Because the second time, after starting recovery and learning what is real and then completely disregarding it is the victim’s fault – because they decided to do it.

This is not about victim blaming, but about helping the victim to see the truth that this time they decided to be scammed!

During the first scam ignorance & vulnerability created the opportunity for the criminal to lure in the victim, and we all know what happens after that. Yes, there was a mistake made, but what followed after that was not the victim’s fault.

On the second, or the third (etc.) scam, the victim was not ignorant, and the previous vulnerabilities (while they may still have been there) did not matter. This time it was willful. It involved a set of decisions.

With Relapse A Victim Has To Willfully Decide:

In order for there to be more scams, a victim has to decide certain things:

  • They know better than other people or experts
  • They will not allow themselves to be scammed again – they know better
  • They will ignore advice and scam avoidance information
  • They want what the relationship offers – emotions, desires, what is missing from their life
  • They do not care about the risks

These are five really bad decisions that a relapsing victim makes, and we have seen them a thousand times.

This Is The Baseline For The Second Recovery

In addition to everything that has to be understood and accepted the first time to recover, these new situations and decisions have to be acknowledged and accepted or recovery cannot be restarted.

If a victim allows themselves to be scammed again (or multiple times) they have to understand that they made the decision to allow it. No one else did.

Of course, the scammers were out there just waiting to pounce, but the victim knew that and ignored it because they knew better. This is no different than when an alcoholic has to admit after they relapse. In every real sense, all their previous progress is gone and they are starting over.

This time, not only do they have to admit that they are responsible for the relapse, but they decided willfully to do it, They have to admit that they ignored all sound advice and did it anyway.

This Is Much Harder To Admit Than Being Scammed The First Time

What this really means is admitting to themselves that they cannot trust themselves (at least not for a while.) This means giving up their agency after the second scam. While the recovery after the first scam was all about recovering their agency, after the second time it is about learning that their decision-making and agency are not trustworthy – at least not for a while – that they have to be given up until they prove again that they can trust themselves.

The path forward from a second scam is a hole much deeper than the first one. But on the other hand, it can be faster in some respects because some of the basics were learned the first time – even though they were ignored. Those can be applied and learned for the second (third, fourth, etc.) time around.

The greatest change is knowing that you cannot trust yourself, and by extension, others cannot trust you either. So trust has to be rebuilt but from a place quite different than the first time.

This was partly true the first time – and it was proven beyond any doubt – but trust is much hard to recover after the second time.

Successful preparation for re-recovery requires an honest analysis of a victim’s individual strengths and weaknesses. Such an evaluation establishes the framework in which all the aforementioned can be more effectively acknowledged. This can be very difficult but it can be achieved though.

First Recognize Your Delusions

The first thing to acknowledge is that you were delusional.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE DELUSIONAL?

It means that you are characterized by or holding idiosyncratic beliefs or impressions that are contradicted by reality or rational argument, typically as a symptom of a mental disorder. Though delusional thinking can be the result of cognitive bias or cognitive distortions too.

After the first scam ended, we make it clear that most victims are suffering from significant trauma. Some victims suffer even more severe disorders.

But in most cases, the victim’s own personality plays the role in perpetuating the delusional beliefs, usually compounded by a rejection of support and assistance.

ADDRESSING THE DELUSIONS

This is not really the role of a victims’ assistance, support, or recovery provider. This is the role of a mental healthcare provider – a trauma counselor or therapist.

There may be deeper reasons why the victim allowed themselves to believe in the additional fantasy that turned into another scam, and a therapist is better able to explore those.

This is why SCARS recommends that all victims should see a local trauma counselor and at least be evaluated. This simple step could help prevent relapse.

Here are three resources to help find a therapist or counselor:

Self-Help Steps A Relapsed Victim Can Take

REBUILD TRUST

The first step is adopting the position of total distrust because the previous trust went out the window. The only way to start rebuilding that is with complete honesty and transparency.

NEXT CONDUCT A PERSONAL EMOTIONAL INVENTORY:

Begin by asking the simple question why did you ignore everything and re-enter a place where you were at high risk, and then as the stranger unfolded the story. You have to be very explicit and brutally honest with yourself over this.

Think about what you were feeling as this unfolded,

  • Why didn’t you immediately stop all contact?
  • What was it you needed or wanted from this?
  • What emotions and what expectations were driving you?
  • What was your hope for the outcome?
  • Why would you ignore everything to achieve it, which of course, you did.

Obviously, whatever it was that you wanted did not happen.

RELEARN EVERYTHING AGAIN

During the first pass through learning, support, and recovery, you were not really paying attention since you were disregarding much of the material. Now it is time to learn it fresh with new eyes and a real commitment.

Assume this time that you really do not know anything, because whatever knowledge you had before has been corrupted by your biases and delusional thinking.

ASK FORGIVENESS

People tried to help you the first time. They spent their time trying to educate you and lead you to the proper path – to recovery.

You actually betrayed them and broke your implicit promise that you were there to learn and recover. In other words, you not only lied but violated their trust.

How do you rebuild trust? You admit your mistakes, own them, and be 100% honest about everything going forward. People will likely give you a second chance, but just understand that you did damage to others.

FOLLOWING THE PATH

This time, what you think and believe matters very little. Because if you let your ego or pride come back into this you will fail again.

You will need to start again following the path of recovery but with the extra burden of relapse. Those who were scammed once and never relapsed will feel empathy for you but will also see you as quite different, you will need to expect this and accept it.

You will need to do what is required this time. To participate fully in your recovery and forget the “I know better” attitude, and be completely open with the support provider, other victims, and with your therapist.

Nothing can be hidden this time.

If you can do these things – hard as it is – you can prevent further relapses. As it was before, it is all up to you!

SCARS offers the factual information that anyone needs to recover. The only reason that more people do not recover is themselves.

We hope you make it through this the second time.

We wish you all the best.

PLEASE SHARE SO OTHERS WILL KNOW

SCARS Publishing Self-Help Recovery Books Available At shop.AgainstScams.org

Scam Victim Self-Help Do-It-Yourself Recovery Books

SCARS Printed Books For Every Scam Survivor From SCARS Publishing

Visit shop.AgainstScams.org

Each is based on our SCARS Team’s 32-plus years of experience.

SCARS Website Visitors receive an Extra 10% Discount
Use Discount Code “romanacescamsnow” at Checkout

Always Report All Scams – Anywhere In The World To:

Go to reporting.AgainstScams.org to learn how

U.S. FTC at https://reportfraud.ftc.gov/#/?orgcode=SCARS and SCARS at www.Anyscams.com
Visit reporting.AgainstScams.org to learn more!

FIND SCAMMER PHOTOS ON
ScammerPhotos.com

FIND SCARS ON FACEBOOK
CLICK HERE

Legal Disclaimer:

The content provided on this platform regarding psychological topics is intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. The publisher makes no representations or warranties regarding the accuracy or completeness of the information presented. The content is designed to raise awareness about various psychological subjects, and readers are strongly encouraged to conduct their own research and verify information independently.

The information presented does not constitute professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment of any psychological disorder or disease. It is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Readers are advised to seek the guidance of a licensed medical professional for any questions or concerns related to their mental health.

The publisher disclaims any responsibility for actions taken or not taken based on the content provided. The treatment of psychological issues is a serious matter, and readers should consult with qualified professionals to address their specific circumstances. The content on this platform is not intended to create, and receipt of it does not constitute, a therapist-client relationship.

Interpretation and Definitions

Definitions

For the purposes of this Disclaimer:

  • Company (referred to as either “the Company”, “We”, “Us” or “Our” in this Disclaimer) refers to Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. (registered d.b.a. “SCARS”,) 9561 Fountainbleau Blvd., Suit 602, Miami FL 33172.
  • Service refers to the Website.
  • You means the individual accessing this website, or the company, or other legal entity on behalf of which such individual is accessing or using the Service, as applicable.
  • Website refers to RomanceScamsNOW.com, accessible from https://romancescamsnow.com

Website Disclaimer

The information contained on this website is for general information purposes only.

The Company assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions in the contents of the Service.

In no event shall the Company be liable for any special, direct, indirect, consequential, or incidental damages or any damages whatsoever, whether in an action of contract, negligence or other tort, arising out of or in connection with the use of the Service or the contents of the Service. The Company reserves the right to make additions, deletions, or modifications to the contents on the Service at any time without prior notice.

The Company does not warrant this website in any way.

External Links Disclaimer

This website may contain links to external websites that are not provided or maintained by or in any way affiliated with the Company.

Please note that the Company does not guarantee the accuracy, relevance, timeliness, or completeness of any information on these external websites.

Errors and Omissions Disclaimer

The information given by SCARS is for general guidance on matters of interest only. Even if the Company takes every precaution to ensure that the content of this website is both current and accurate, errors can occur. Plus, given the changing nature of laws, rules, and regulations, there may be delays, omissions, or inaccuracies in the information contained on this website.

SCARS is not responsible for any errors or omissions, or for the results obtained from the use of this information.

Fair Use Disclaimer

SCARS may use copyrighted material that has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. The Company is making such material available for criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, or research.

The Company believes this constitutes a “fair use” of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the United States Copyright law.

If You wish to use copyrighted material from this website for your own purposes that go beyond fair use, You must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

Views Expressed Disclaimer

The Service may contain views and opinions which are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any other author, agency, organization, employer, or company, including SCARS.

Comments published by users are their sole responsibility and the users will take full responsibility, liability, and blame for any libel or litigation that results from something written in or as a direct result of something written in a comment. The Company is not liable for any comment published by users and reserves the right to delete any comment for any reason whatsoever.

No Responsibility Disclaimer

The information on the Service is provided with the understanding that the Company is not herein engaged in rendering legal, accounting, tax, medical or mental health, or other professional advice and services. As such, it should not be used as a substitute for consultation with professional accounting, tax, legal, medical or mental health, or other competent advisers.

In no event shall the Company, its team, board of directors, volunteers, or its suppliers be liable for any special, incidental, indirect, or consequential damages whatsoever arising out of or in connection with your access or use or inability to access or use the Service.

“Use at Your Own Risk” Disclaimer

All information on this website is provided “as is”, with no guarantee of completeness, accuracy, timeliness or of the results obtained from the use of this information, and without warranty of any kind, express or implied, including, but not limited to warranties of performance, merchantability, and fitness for a particular purpose.

SCARS will not be liable to You or anyone else for any decision made or action taken in reliance on the information given by the Service or for any consequential, special, or similar damages, even if advised of the possibility of such damages.

Contact Us

If you have any questions about this Disclaimer, You can contact Us:

  • By email: contact@AgainstScams.org

PLEASE NOTE: Psychology Clarification

The following specific modalities within the practice of psychology are restricted to psychologists appropriately trained in the use of such modalities:

  • Diagnosis: The diagnosis of mental, emotional, or brain disorders and related behaviors.
  • Psychoanalysis: Psychoanalysis is a type of therapy that focuses on helping individuals to understand and resolve unconscious conflicts.
  • Hypnosis: Hypnosis is a state of trance in which individuals are more susceptible to suggestion. It can be used to treat a variety of conditions, including anxiety, depression, and pain.
  • Biofeedback: Biofeedback is a type of therapy that teaches individuals to control their bodily functions, such as heart rate and blood pressure. It can be used to treat a variety of conditions, including stress, anxiety, and pain.
  • Behavioral analysis: Behavioral analysis is a type of therapy that focuses on changing individuals’ behaviors. It is often used to treat conditions such as autism and ADHD.
    Neuropsychology: Neuropsychology is a type of psychology that focuses on the relationship between the brain and behavior. It is often used to assess and treat cognitive impairments caused by brain injuries or diseases.

SCARS and the members of the SCARS Team do not engage in any of the above modalities in relationship to scam victims. SCARS is not a mental healthcare provider and recognizes the importance of professionalism and separation between its work and that of the licensed practice of psychology.

SCARS is an educational provider of generalized self-help information that individuals can use for their own benefit to achieve their own goals related to emotional trauma. SCARS recommends that all scam victims see professional counselors or therapists to help them determine the suitability of any specific information or practices that may help them.

SCARS cannot diagnose or treat any individuals, nor can it state the effectiveness of any educational information that it may provide, regardless of its experience in interacting with traumatized scam victims over time. All information that SCARS provides is purely for general educational purposes to help scam victims become aware of and better understand the topics and to be able to dialog with their counselors or therapists.

It is important that all readers understand these distinctions and that they apply the information that SCARS may publish at their own risk, and should do so only after consulting a licensed psychologist or mental healthcare provider.

SCARS IS A DIGITAL PUBLISHER AND DOES NOT OFFER HEALTH OR MEDICAL ADVICE, LEGAL ADVICE, FINANCIAL ADVICE, OR SERVICES THAT SCARS IS NOT LICENSED OR REGISTERED TO PERFORM.

IF YOU’RE FACING A MEDICAL EMERGENCY, CALL YOUR LOCAL EMERGENCY SERVICES IMMEDIATELY, OR VISIT THE NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM OR URGENT CARE CENTER. YOU SHOULD CONSULT YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER BEFORE FOLLOWING ANY MEDICALLY RELATED INFORMATION PRESENTED ON OUR PAGES.

ALWAYS CONSULT A LICENSED ATTORNEY FOR ANY ADVICE REGARDING LEGAL MATTERS.

A LICENSED FINANCIAL OR TAX PROFESSIONAL SHOULD BE CONSULTED BEFORE ACTING ON ANY INFORMATION RELATING TO YOUR PERSONAL FINANCES OR TAX RELATED ISSUES AND INFORMATION.

SCARS IS NOT A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR – WE DO NOT PROVIDE INVESTIGATIVE SERVICES FOR INDIVIDUALS OR BUSINESSES. ANY INVESTIGATIONS THAT SCARS MAY PERFORM IS NOT A SERVICE PROVIDED TO THIRD-PARTIES. INFORMATION REPORTED TO SCARS MAY BE FORWARDED TO LAW ENFORCEMENT AS SCARS SEE FIT AND APPROPRIATE.

This content and other material contained on the website, apps, newsletter, and products (“Content”), is general in nature and for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or financial advice; the Content is not intended to be a substitute for licensed or regulated professional advice. Always consult your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider, lawyer, financial, or tax professional with any questions you may have regarding the educational information contained herein. SCARS makes no guarantees about the efficacy of information described on or in SCARS’ Content. The information contained is subject to change and is not intended to cover all possible situations or effects. SCARS does not recommend or endorse any specific professional or care provider, product, service, or other information that may be mentioned in SCARS’ websites, apps, and Content unless explicitly identified as such.

The disclaimers herein are provided on this page for ease of reference. These disclaimers supplement and are a part of SCARS’ website’s Terms of Use. 

All original content is Copyright © 1991 – 2023 Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. (Registered D.B.A SCARS) All Rights Reserved Worldwide & Webwide. Third-party copyrights acknowledge.

U.S. State of Florida Registration Nonprofit (Not for Profit) #N20000011978 [SCARS DBA Registered #G20000137918] – Learn more at www.AgainstScams.org

View the claimed and or registered indicia, service marks, and trademarks of Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc., All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Contact the law firm for the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated by email at legal@AgainstScams.org

Share This Information - Choose Your Social Media!

Leave A Comment