Victim Recovery: Journaling And Recovery From ScamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost.
The Key For Every SurvivorSurvivor A Scam Survivor is a victim who has been able to fully accept the reality of their situation. That they were the victim of a crime and are not to blame. They are working on their emotional recovery and reduction of any trauma either on their own, through a qualified support organization, or through counseling or therapy. And has done their duty and reported the crime to their local police, national police, and on Anyscam.com Is Balance And Recovery Should Begin With Journaling
We are at the end of another year with 2019 around the corner.
What better time than now to consider the value of keeping a journal and tracking your daily life balance from emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical levels?
There are various types of journaling that you can do and are based on your personal preference.
Journaling may include a “drawing journal” for those who prefer not to write, and a picture is worth a thousand words. After all, storytelling predates writing, with the earliest forms of storytelling being oral or combined with gestures and expressions or drawings. Cave drawings told stories of hunting and survival. In psychology, storytelling is an integral part of making sense of our lives.
Journaling, or keeping a regular record of experiences and feelings, especially as they relate to your recovery, can be a helpful tool to advance your healing process. For example, a journal can be used to record your recovery-related struggles and accomplishments or to identify – and work through – difficult emotions. It also helps to hold yourself accountable for your decisions and actions and helps you invest in your own self-discovery.
Journaling allows you to also look back in time and see how far you have come!
What Is Journaling?
Journaling is a type of expressive writing, where your goal is not to produce a “book” but instead to simply use the process of putting your thoughts and feelings down.
You can do this – Journaling is not hard:
- On paper – buy a cheap notebook and fill it with your thoughts and feelings or SCARS offers our own printed Journal design for Scam Survivors.
- On your phone or computer or internet – we suggest “Journey” from 2 App Studio – it is free »
- In a confidential SCARS-approved support groupSupport Group In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers. on Facebook – to apply to join one of our groups go to support.AgainstScams.org
- Or as a comment on this webpage – though displaying public details of your life is not recommended
This is to help you understand and cope with these thoughts and emotions.
Types Of Journaling
There are many different types of journaling and several of these lend themselves well to working through emotions involved in the scam recovery process. Journaling in recovery might take the form of:
- A Diary – where you write down the events of the day and how you felt about them
- An Evening Reflection Journal – where you reflect on the day’s events and ponder ways that you may have thought or behaved differently that would have involved better choices
- A Gratitude Journal – where you write about things that you are grateful for and appreciative of
- A Goal-Focused Journal – where you keep track of your goals and objectives and your progress toward these
- A Spiritual Journal – your spiritual growth
- A Health Journal – recording daily exercise, stretches, nutrition, etc.
- A Relationship Journal – that has a focus on relational issues – family and friends
Examples of Journaling:
Below are ways that a person might journal about the same situation in different ways, using the four different types of journaling mentioned above.
Example: Diary
Today was a bad day. I got upset right off the bat first thing in the morning when I could not find my keys. I yelled at my wife and accused her of moving them. Then I found them in my coat pocket. But I did not tell my wife or apologize. I just left the house. I felt lousy for the rest of the day–guilty that I had accused her and yelled at her, and disappointed and angry at myself for not apologizing till much later in the day.
Example: Evening Reflection Journal
Event: Yelled at wife this morning & accused her of moving my keys (but they were in my pocket); left house without apologizing.
Reflection on Event: I could have asked wife instead of accusing; I could have stopped to recollect when I had last used keys and what I might have done with them…Would likely have found keys sooner and avoided a negative experience for us both. Will try to stop and think before immediately making accusations next time.
Example: Gratitude Journal
- I am grateful for a loving wife who puts up with my quick temper and impulsive behaviorBehavior Behavior / Behavioral Actions Otherwise known as habits, behavior or behavioral actions are strategies to help prevent online exploitation that target behavior, such as social engineering of victims. Changing your behavior is the ONLY effective means to reduce or prevent scams..
- I am grateful that I found my keys in time to get to work without being late.
- I am grateful that my wife is willing to accept my apology, even when it comes too late.
- I am grateful that I have this opportunity to reflect on my actions and consider better options before I drive my loving wife away from me.
Example: Goal-Focused Journal
I will improve my ability to hold my temper and not deflect my frustrations toward others, especially my wife. I will do this by using the following steps:
- I will take 3 deep breaths when I feel myself becoming frustrated or angry.
- I will use the time to think about what I am about to say and how to say it.
- I will consciously choose to ask questions and explore options before jumping to a conclusion or saying what immediately pops into my mind when I am upset.
Benefits Of Keeping A Recovery Journal
Studies have shown that journaling encourages the writer to disclose emotions with less fear of criticism. It also makes it easier to gain the benefit of support groupsSupport Groups In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers. in that you can read or copy from your journal, instead of trying to express yourself on the spot.
Journaling has been associated with reduced depression and grief reactions, as well as improved health outcomes including reduced stress, improved immune function, and reduced digestive issue symptoms. It is theorized that actively repressing difficult thoughts and feelings requires effort and acknowledging and writing about these feelings reduces overall stress in the body. Translating an event into words helps one understand it and make meaning of it, which contributes to additional positive outcomes. A study published in 2001 in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that expressive diary writing enhanced cognitive integration (the re-visiting and “updating” of ideas) and increased the capacity for working memory.
Other benefits of journaling include:
- Helping you prioritize problems, goals, and responsibilities
- Tracking your symptoms, setbacks, and successes on a regular basis
- Helping you better recognize, understand and deal with triggersTRIGGERS A trigger is a stimulus that sets off a memory of a trauma or a specific portion of a traumatic experience.
- Helping you identify negative or self-defeatingSelf-sabotaging Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems in daily life and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common Self-Defeating behaviors include procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-injury such as cutting. thoughts and self-talk so that you can challenge and reintegrate these internal messages using a more positive viewpoint
How To Keep A Recovery Journal
There is no wrong or right way to journal. Write in whatever way that feels right for you to express yourself and learn from the review of your reflections. Your journaling can be “structured” (for instance writing in a Reflective or Gratitude Journal every evening) or more loose and flexible, such as jotting down notes in a diary-type journal to capture important thoughts as they come to mind or writing about your awareness of intense feelings.
Here are some suggestions for writing in your journal:
- Pick a private place to write that is free from distractions
- Set aside 20-30 minutes to write about feelings and experiences that you feel had an important impact
- Try to write every day if possible, as consistency will help you organize your thoughts. If you can’t write daily then at least try to write on a regular schedule
- Throughout the day, keep pen and paper handy to jot down snippets of thoughts and feelings that you can later elaborate on in your journal
- Set aside time periodically (every few days or once a week) to review your journal entries and reflect on them
- Share some of your entries with your Scam Victims’ Support Groups or Counselor / Therapist
Journaling is a self-reflective activity, and it can be aided by the use of other activities that also foster an inner, reflective state. Meditating, walking in nature, listening to music, and taking a nap or resting are other ways that you can increase the ability of your deeper thoughts and feelings to emerge.
The use of journaling can be an important tool in your scam recovery toolbox. It can help you recognize when and under what conditions you might be most at risk for a slip-up; and it can help you identify situations and attitudes that empower you and assist you in remaining strong in your commitment to sobriety.
How Journaling Helps Balance & Recovery
We achieve the acknowledgment of our identity and self-concept when writing as we search for our authentic selves.
The Autobiographical Style Of Journaling
Most people feel it is good to begin at the beginning by writing an autobiographical narrative to reflect on all the life experiences which have had an impact on your life both joyful and challenging events. Everyone has a story to tell, and when we take time to write it down, we can begin to understand some of the triggers and patterns that resulted in our scam experience or relapse during recovery. These triggers and patterns of behavior are many times responsible for temptation building to go back to unsafe behavior online as a way of coping. As you write your autobiographical narrative, you will see how your memories and life events make up how you perceive yourself and the world around you. The narrative process of journaling as in the “telling of your story” is cathartic (healing).
However, if you can’t write the autobiographical style, just write what you feel. There is no right or wrong way to do this. The more you do it be better the effect and the easier it will become.
When writing your autobiographical narrative, you should go back as far as you feel necessary to capture a true reflection of your experience.
This can be:
- What put you in the position to be vulnerable
- How you met the scammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer. – you can include both the facts and what you should have know better
- How it all begins and escalated – this is a place where you can express your frustration with yourself, but also express how you simply did not know any better
- How you began to suspect
- How you ended it
- The panic you felt when you know what it was – your angerAnger Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability. and other emotions
- And then your path to recovery
This is a process of what you perceive as important to you and others in your life. With the use of the autobiographical narrative, you have an opportunity to review your life history regarding the scam from all angles.
If you are seeing a mental healthMental health Mental health, defined by the World Health Organization (WHO), is "a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community". According to WHO, mental health includes "subjective well-being, perceived self-efficacy, autonomy, competence, intergenerational dependence, and self-actualization of one's intellectual and emotional potential, among others". From the perspectives of positive psychology or of holism, mental health may include an individual's ability to enjoy life and to create a balance between life activities and efforts to achieve psychological resilience. Cultural differences, subjective assessments, and competing professional theories all affect how one defines "mental health". professional, therapist or life coach, they can help you formulate all of this. But remember, this is YOUR story, not theirs.
When Writing Your Journal
When writing your journal, there are different aspects of your life that are important to write about – called “Domains.”
By making an effort to touch on these different domains you can be more complete in addressing your life and feelings. This helps you stay better balanced and lets you explore more of what happened and is happening to you.
Domains
- PHYSICAL DOMAIN: The physical domain refers to the physical body and everything that is defined by a presenting physical problem or barrier to your life. Are you dealing with a physical illness or withdrawals which is impacting the way you see your day-to-day life and functionality?
- MENTAL DOMAIN: The mental domain refers to the psychological factors that pertain to the way you process your thoughts and images (many times a traumatic life event – your romance scam – is reported like a silent movie is repeatedly played in the mind). Is there a history of traumaTrauma Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. Psychological trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away. It can also leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people. Traumatic experiences often involve a threat to life or safety or other emotional shocks, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can result in trauma, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm. It’s not the objective circumstances that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized. Trauma requires treatment, either through counseling or therapy or through trauma-oriented support programs, such as those offered by SCARS. that has caused continued fragmented mental processing, which has impacted your ability to cope with the average day-to-day stressors and functionality?
- EMOTIONAL DOMAIN: The emotional domain is the emotional pain or elation that results from each person’s personal life story, family history, and environmental/cultural factors. Has the impact of the scam caused the ongoing fight-or-flight and frozen responses? Are you suffering from ongoing anxiety and depression?
- SPIRITUAL DOMAIN: The spiritual domain is explored in the patient’s verbal expression of being grateful for life. Or you may not believe in God or higher universal being because you are angry for all the things that happened in your life that you felt were unfair. Or you just don’t understand how a loving being would let you become the victim of a scammer (or scammers). The spiritual domain in many cases is connected to religion or at times a belief in the philosophy of a higher universal being. Many individuals’ narratives reflect themes from the spiritual domain which are a strong connecting point to perceive a personal sense of purpose in life, meaningfulness, and many times demonstrate ongoing faith and resolution.
Triggers
Once you have a well-established journal a list of your personally identified themes begins to make themselves obvious.
These can be identified as your Triggers. The things that set you off into unhealthy emotions or behaviors. You will be able to write a list of them – a list of triggers to be aware of.
These triggers and patterns are part of the subconscious material stored and wired in our brains which in the past have caused you to engage in unsafe behaviors as a mechanism of false rewards. In other words, habits will convince you that it is okay to talk to strangers that are potentially dangerous because you always feel better after.
Self-awareness is always the key to “heading off behavior problems at the pass.” Journaling helps to speed up recovery because it increases self-knowledge and helps you to get in touch with your emotions, thoughts, and feelings. Journaling daily will help to uncover any underlying issues. Also, writing down plans for the future involves rewiring your subconscious reminding us of your progress to overcome challenges so that our dreams become a reality.
Journaling also helps us to get in touch with our intuition which “draws the curtains” of our mind to see the connection to our heart and soul. The “desires of our heart” keep hope alive and reveal those “a-ha” moments that were once hidden behind the deception of the scam.
Recovery is about keeping a balance in life as we are in touch with our emotions, thoughts, and feelings.
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To Learn More Also Look At Our Article Catalogs
Essential Tools For Every Scam SurvivorSurvivor A Scam Survivor is a victim who has been able to fully accept the reality of their situation. That they were the victim of a crime and are not to blame. They are working on their emotional recovery and reduction of any trauma either on their own, through a qualified support organization, or through counseling or therapy. And has done their duty and reported the crime to their local police, national police, and on Anyscam.com From SCARS Publishing
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SCARS GREEN BOOK
Self-Help Self-Paced Recovery Program Guide
LEARN HOW TO RECOVER ON YOUR OWN
This program is designed to help scam victims struggling to recover on their own and for those who want to understand the overall process. You can be using other resources, such as trauma counselingCounseling Counseling is the professional guidance of the individual by utilizing psychological methods especially in collecting case history data, using various techniques of the personal interview, and testing interests and aptitudes. A mental health counselor (MHC), or counselor, is a person who works with individuals and groups to promote optimum mental and emotional health. Such persons may help individuals deal with issues associated with addiction and substance abuse; family, parenting, and marital problems; stress management; self-esteem; and aging. They may also work with "Social Workers", "Psychiatrists", and "Psychologists". SCARS does not provide mental health counseling. or therapy, qualified support groups, or completely independent – on your own!
The SCARS Steps program is a complete program and is provided for the purpose of helping scam victims to overcome this experience. Throughout this SCARS Steps Program, we speak about issues and challenges that a victim may have and help guide them through their recovery. But each person is different and it is important to understand your own reasons for being vulnerable to being scammed.
After the trauma of being scammed, you need to take steps to recover and move on. This may be an alternative to counseling in the short term, but we still encourage you to seek out professional help & support. Throughout this SCARS Steps Program, we speak about issues, challenges, defects, or problems that a victim may have in a generalized way.
The SCARS GREEN BOOK will help you recover from your scam offline and it will always be there when you need it!
SCARS SLATE BOOK – Let Us Explain What Happened!
A Guide For Families & Friends Of Scam Victims
HOW TO HELP ROMANCE SCAM VICTIMS FOR FAMILIES & FRIENDS OF SCAM VICTIMS
This SCARS Publishing book represents a complete guide to help the families and friends understand how these scams work and how to help the victim.
The SCARS Slate Book should be purchased by family and friends to better understand what happened to the victim and the traumatic impact on them. But it can also be shared by the victim so that they do not have to explain to family and friends about the scam. This publication is to help others to help Scam Victims to make it through this traumatic experience and recover.
Each person is different and it is important to understand how relationship scamsRelationship Scam A Relationship Scam is a one-to-one criminal act that involves a trust relationship and uses deception & manipulation to get a victim to give to the criminal something of value, such as money! Click here to learn more: What Is A Relationship Scam? work and why people are vulnerable; to being scammed, how they were lured in, then groomed and manipulated. This understanding is essential in helping them through the process of ending the scam and then on to recovery. The SCARS Slate Book will provide the information necessary to help support a victim through this process.
SCARS RED BOOK
Your Personal Scam Evidence & Crime Record Organizer
ORGANIZE YOUR INFORMATION TO MAKE THE REPORTING PROCESS SIMPLE!
Helps you get and stay organized. This publication is to help Scam Victims organize their crime information. Complete this information before reporting to the police then bring this book with you
Before or after reporting to the police the RED BOOK gives you a dedicated tool to record all the essential facts of this crime. The Victim, the Scammers, the Money, and your Police interactions. Everything that really matters can be easily recorded for your immediate use and for the future!
As we have seen, money recovery/repayment programs can become available years after the scam ends and you need to keep all the details of this crime in case it is needed. We have also seen scammers being extradited to the U.S. and other countries, this will help in the event you testify or give statements, Additionally, this helps you have your information ready to qualify for victims’ benefits, compensation, or aid.
The Official SCARS RED BOOK is your way of recording all the important facts of this crime so that you do not lose essential information, Complete the RED BOOK then put it away with the confidence that you will have it if or when it is needed.
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By the Society of Citizens Against Relationship ScamsSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS. Inc.
A Worldwide Crime Victims Assistance & Crime Prevention Nonprofit Organization Headquartered In Miami Florida USA & Monterrey NL Mexico, with Partners In More Than 60 Countries
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