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Did you do harm to others?
In most romance scams, you harmed someone. It may have been family or friends that you called liars? Or maybe you accepted stolen credit cards to make purchases for the scammer? Maybe you deposited bad checks? Maybe you involved others without a care?
Make a serious list of all the persons you might have harmed, and you will need to become willing to make amends to them all.
You need to think about the people you might have hurt. Write down and identify the wrongs you did so that you can repair the damage you’ve done. Then, you make a plan for restoring them. This also helps in creating healthy relationships moving forward.
What Do You Need To Do?
You will need rite down a list of all the people you have hurt. Often, this list includes people you hurt during the scam. However, it may go back further to include anyone you have hurt throughout your entire life.
Discover how many people you have hurt and how you’ve hurt them. You may not fully know; you may have to bring in the police and report everything to them too.
You have to make a list of everyone you’ve harmed along the way. Also, pay attention to what you discover about yourself and your problems also in each case. Don’t be defensive and blame people for how they’ve treated you. Forgive them, because without forgiving others, you cannot forgive yourself. This includes the scammer.
Don’t minimize your faults and failures by focusing on the faults of others, this is not about them, it is about you. Realize that you hurt others as well as yourself with your actions and behavior. Try hard to look beyond your obvious defects and do a thorough examination of your flaws in the process. Avoid judging others, accept them as they are. Be objective when evaluating your defects as well as those of others. Otherwise, how can other accept you?
People often think that if no one really knows about it, it doesn’t matter. Except you know about it. This dangerous purposeful forgetting will hold you back. You can’t get the most out of your recovery if you aren’t willing to be vulnerable and incredibly honest, even if what you discover about yourself and others is painful to accept.