What Are You Doing?

If you never visit our actual Facebook page, and just rely on posts coming through your Facebook news feed, you are missing 90% of our information and wasting your time. Same is true of our websites.

You put in the work with your scammer. Just imagine how many hours you spent letting the scammer scam you. Hundreds of hours at the very least, wouldn’t you say?

Now you are only willing to put in a few minutes? Expecting someone to save you?

It just doesn’t happen that way.

The money is gone, and unrecoverable in almost all cases.

You will never know who the scammer really is, because they work in teams, and it really doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t matter to your recovery who the scammer is – it is a giant machine that scams a million people a year.

You need to accept these simple facts.

You may not like or accept that, but if so, then that is your real problem.

This may sound very judgmental, and it is, but you got yourself into this mess, and you will have to get yourself out of it. It is that simple, it is the harsh truth of your situation. Sugar coating only enables you to continue your dangerous behavior.

If you want to be safe online and avoid scammers in the future, you need to make as much effort as you did getting scammed.

In both cases it was under your control.

There are no casual scam victims, and there are no casual scam survivors.

If you don’t make the effort, you will stay an angry victim for much longer, delaying your recovery – making yourself and those around you that much more miserable.

The process of recovery is well understood by professionals.

You have to go through a process:

  1. Accept the fact of the scam
  2. Accept your role in the scam
  3. Accept that you will never get all the answers
  4. Accept that you control your recovery
  5. Accept that there is life after the scam

Make the effort and learn what you need to know. And just as importantly, learn who you can trust and who you cannot trust. To start with trust no one, and work from there.

Only you can save yourself from yourself. Scammers only exist because people do not make the effort to learn. Ignorance is your greatest weakness, and the scammers greatest strength.

Like in all things, most of the information out there is fake or spun by amateurs that have no idea what they are doing. Being a victim does NOT make you an expert. Become an expert – read – learn – understand. Put in the time.

But while all of that is going on, shift your focus from the scammer – they don’t really matter to you. What matters is your own sanity. YOU need to recover psychologically and emotionally so that you can function safely in the future. If you are trapped in yet another obsession or in rage, that helps no one, least of all you,

Think of it like this: You took your parents car without learning to drive or getting a license, because you thought you knew enough. You got in a terrible accident, and you are now only blaming the other driver. Regardless, you were responsible for putting yourself in that situation. Now you want to stalk the other driver, when what you should be doing is learning to drive.

It sounds simple, but you need to learn what being online is really all about and how to be safe in the future.

Right now you need to Report Your Scammer | Block Your Scammers | And Move on.

Report your scammer to:

  • Your local police – This helps you community understand what is going on
  • Your national police (FBI / IC3) – Your national police watch for the scammers crossing boarders
  • And or – the SCARS Project Anyscam is an international network of reporting portals that display scammers on over 800 locations, on websites and social media, to governments and law enforcement, on dating websites, and so much more.

You gave the scammer so much of your time allowing yourself to be fooled, now you need to put in the time to prevent yourself from being the fool again.

We have been here for years, and there is a wealth of information. Use it. Make the effort.

We are not here to feed your anger, or show you an endless stream of fake faces – that’s all a waste of our time and yours.

We are here to help you learn and recover.

Nothing else matters.

Please let us know if you have questions?

But report scammers properly using the report forms on or on

Thank you

Tom Borman,
Managing Director,
Romance Scams Now
a division of SCARS