SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years
RSN Editorial: Who Is The Person In The Photo?
We are constantly asked by victims to identify the person in the photo that they fell in love with.
They want to save them, or tell them how they feel, or tell them their photo is being used by scammers.
It doesn’t matter who he or she is, his or her photo was stolen by scammers.
You have to understand that you do not have a relationship with a real person.
That face is fake.
We understand that you are fixated on that face, but the real person is a victim too, and does not want to hear from anyone.
The person in the photo already knows they are being used by scammers because they are constantly contacted by people claiming to be in love with them, or wanting them to know all about their scam experience.
They do not want to know you or hear from you, because they are also a victim.
Anyone that does not accept this, and tries to contact the person pictured is causing just as much harm as the scammer. The people who have been impersonated do not want to hear from other victims. Their lives have been ruined by the scammer as much as yours has.
They want to be left alone. Some of them are hounded by victims constantly telling them how much they love them. Some get multiple calls a day about this.
You don’t even know that person – you have just seen their photo.
While this sounds harsh and brutal, it is a reality of romance scams. You fall in love with a stolen photo from a real person and proceed to develop a fantasy about them.
In reality you were lied to by the person hiding behind the photo.
You have to accept this and move on. Focus only on yourself and your own recovery. Obsessing on the face in the photo is madness.
You need to get over the scam, you cannot help anyone else at this stage. You need to focus on your own recovery and forget that face – hard as that is.
Additionally, obsessing on the face (and the real person behind it) can be considered cyberstalking, which is a crime in itself, so don’t go there.
- Accept that you were scammed.
- Accept that there was no relationship.
- Accept that everything was a lie.
- Accept the pain and use it to recover.
- Accept that you will make it through this.
- Accept that it just takes time.
Just don’t make it worse by tracking down another poor soul and making their life miserable in the process.
RSN Team
Miami Florida USA
-/ 30 /-
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ARTICLE META
Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
SCARS Institute articles examine different aspects of the scam victim experience, as well as those who may have been secondary victims. This work focuses on understanding victimization through the science of victimology, including common psychological and behavioral responses. The purpose is to help victims and survivors understand why these crimes occurred, reduce shame and self-blame, strengthen recovery programs and victim opportunities, and lower the risk of future victimization.
At times, these discussions may sound uncomfortable, overwhelming, or may be mistaken for blame. They are not. Scam victims are never blamed. Our goal is to explain the mechanisms of deception and the human responses that scammers exploit, and the processes that occur after the scam ends, so victims can better understand what happened to them and why it felt convincing at the time, and what the path looks like going forward.
Articles that address the psychology, neurology, physiology, and other characteristics of scams and the victim experience recognize that all people share cognitive and emotional traits that can be manipulated under the right conditions. These characteristics are not flaws. They are normal human functions that criminals deliberately exploit. Victims typically have little awareness of these mechanisms while a scam is unfolding and a very limited ability to control them. Awareness often comes only after the harm has occurred.
By explaining these processes, these articles help victims make sense of their experiences, understand common post-scam reactions, and identify ways to protect themselves moving forward. This knowledge supports recovery by replacing confusion and self-blame with clarity, context, and self-compassion.
Additional educational material on these topics is available at ScamPsychology.org – ScamsNOW.com and other SCARS Institute websites.
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.
I want this guy brought to justice, and make him pay for his crimes.
WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO DO TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN?
My scammer named himself Brian HART and, together with his co-scammers named Godfred Adjei and Benjamin Smith ( from USA and Accra/GHANA) extorted 140 000 Euros from me
and completely ruined me now. I got stolen photos and US ID/passport of Brian Hart in US
Navy uniform. All photos and documents are fake. French Police cannot do anything.
I also hope the said Brian HART may be caught and pay for his crime and ruining me.
JÁ ACEITEI QUE FUI ENGANADA.