(Last Updated On: March 24, 2022)

ABOUT ANTI-SCAMMERS ONLINE AND IN SOCIAL MEDIA

For 26 years we have been attempting to help others be aware of and overcome scamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost..

We were founded by the cofounder of several major online businesses, such as TigerDirect, and through those lenses he saw the initiation and evolution of online scams.

Over the years, we became increasingly aware of how similar, and actually identical, being a scamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. victim was to being a drug addict. The scam (that is the romance part of it) fuels many basic needs and in fact floods the brain with a real drugs, endorphins, dopamine, seratonin, and more (research is readily available so I will not cover it here).

So as the scam progresses the victim becomes increasingly dependent on it.

Then comes the break. The moment when the scam is seen for what it is.

Except, that all loss (including this one) follows the stages of grief that other forms of loss follow (see the graphic below).

The victim was in fact in love with the scammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer., and the realization is worse than a loved one dying, it is a total betrayal and it is the disappearance of the face the person grew to know.

Nothing can make up for it, it is just what it is. They were violated and used in the worst way. The brain uses angerAnger Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability. as a way to recover from that traumaTrauma Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. Psychological trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away. It can also leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people. Traumatic experiences often involve a threat to life or safety or other emotional shocks, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can result in trauma, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm. It’s not the objective circumstances that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized. Trauma requires treatment, either through counseling or therapy or through trauma-oriented support programs, such as those offered by SCARS.. This is just how we humans are wired.

For most, the anger can lead to a next stage in the recovery – sometimes depression, sometimes an attempt to find another solution, and for the healthy ones to eventual acceptance. Unfortunately, many become trapped in their anger, in their rageRage Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability.. Any attempt to help them move beyond that stage is met with hostility. We call these “Ragers”.

“Ragers” (or “Haters”) are, at their core, trapped in their anger, and use this as justification for their view about everyone and everything related to scamming.

These “Ragers” have lost the ability to both trust and recognize truth. They see red and apply the simple rule that they are right and if anyone disagrees with them they are fake or scammers or liars. This is what being trapped in the grief cycle does to you. If you see that in yourself, there is help, but only if you allow it.

Sadly, so many in the anti-scam groups on the web and on Facebook are lead by people trapped in these cycles, or they are disruptive to other victims attempting to recover from the scam. The number of examples is too numerous to even list. We estimate that about 10% of victims fall into this trap, and stay there for many years – some never leave it.

Regardless of who you follow or listen to, be watchful for the signs of “Ragers” in these groups and organizations. As a recoverer from a scam, “Ragers” are as toxic to you as another addict is to a recovering substance abuser.

Playing with the hearts and minds of victims is the most disastrous thing these amateur anti-scammers can do, People reach points of such despair that they take their own lives (Boyati Miskun for example – learn more here on the SCARS website  or on Facebook)

For most of these Ragers, it is not intentionally about egos or vengeance or rage, it is about a sincere desire to help victims move beyond the scam and recover their lives. Nothing more. Ragers are so locked in their anger, all they can see is their own need for revenge, and anyone that won’t go with them is an enemy.

We hope that you all read this and will help others in need find support and avoid these groups dominated by Ragers and self-aggrandizers.

As an organization, we believe in openness and transparency, and even if you don’t like us for whatever reason, we hope you will use our knowledge and research to help others. As the Scam Avoidance Education and Victims Support Unit of the Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams we follow a strict Code of Conduct and other ethical and legal standards. For the first time in the last few years, there are lights at the end of the tunnel.

For now, if you need help and honestly want it, let us know, we offer real support groupsSupport Groups In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers. filled with honest caring people who have been victims, but are now recovering together. If on the other hand you are looking for confirmation of your own rage, we can’t help you, because you are just not ready for it.

RSN Team
A Unit of SCARSSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS.

SCARS and Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams are trademarks of the Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams

The 5 Stages Of Romance Scam Grief