SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years
The RSN Guide To Being A Victim
This Is One Of Those Things That No One Will Tell You To Your Face!
Every day we are contacted by hundreds of victims – sometimes more than a thousand.
We deal with people during one of the worst times in their lives.
They have been violated and abused, and now they need help.
We get it. We know – because our team have been victims too.
We do our best to help every victim that comes to us.
We help those that are in shock.
We help those that are in pain.
We help those that are afraid.
But we can’t help those that are in a rage.
Supporting a victim is about compassion and understanding, it is also about communication and guidance.
Unfortunately angry victims will not accept information and guidance. It makes it very difficult to help them.
Why are we posting this?
Because we hope that every victim will recognize their level of anger, and if they are enraged and in hate, then they can please dial it down so we can help them.
They may not like the situation they are in, but we did not create that situation.
They may not want the result that they are going to get, but after a scam there are only a few options.
They may feel entitled to everything from getting their money back to getting the scammer investigated and arrested. But it just doesn’t happen that way most of the time.
We are professionals at what we do (SCARS/RSN Staff, our Volunteers, and SCARS Members), and we know how to support online crime victims.
But recognize that for the victim this is their first time being a scam victim – by definition that means they are amateurs at it.
Lots of people will try to leverage their anger, such as the scammer hate groups galore, but that is not what they need.
They need to understand that they can be helped with information, guidance, and support. But that is about the limit of anyone, including the FBI or local police.
The money is not coming back (in almost all cases).
The scammer is not going to be immediately arrested.
But victims still have responsibilities and obligations to themselves and to the people that are helping them – be it our team or other victims who have been through the same crisis and come out the other end. Respect and courtesy being the biggest essential of those.
Reporting scammers is a part of this. Just think about how much effort each victim put into the fake romance? Reporting only takes a few minutes – certainly no big deal – and it can lead to future arrests, or more importantly helping others learn from victims’ mistakes.
If they don’t want our help and want to go it on their own, we respect that, but please do not leave smoking ruins in their path. The people that are trying to help you deserve better than that.
We know this is hard, but with help it can be made better. With anger it can only be worse because the support people will walk away and you will be completely on your own to face it alone.
Chose wisely. Chose respect, and let us help you.
RSN/SCARS
-/ 30 /-
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ARTICLE META
Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.
Nobody cares when your old and have been scammed, mentally abused, and left for dead by your family. What’s the use in trying anymore.
Okay, I hear your loud and clear. I got pass the anger and naturally it takes time to get over the hurt. I have reported the crime but I realized I wasn’t ready to go back on Facebook and help others on prevention. It was too painful and I didn’t have all my facts together. Now that I’m doing much better and have a better understanding I can go back with the correct information and refile my complaint. I need to be careful that I don’t have hatred and revenge in my heart and mind. I spent my whole life helping people which lead to me getting scammed in the first place. This good hearted lady finished last and was never first in life. So please understand if it’s taking me a little time to go back on Facebook and help others because my so called friends saw this happening to me and said nothing and done nothing. All around me including family just wanted to know when I was available to help them or get involved with them in some organization. Now they don’t see me nor hear from me. They all are on that same list” scammers, fraudsters and users”. Now I proudly move on to working with those that are in serious need of help and getting paid for it. I have to get paid now those fraudsters and scammers got all my money and left me in debt. My most expensive lesson in life. Sometimes bad things in life can bring positive good things for you. It helped open up my eyes and made me realize I was headed down a bad road from the start. People that I trusted was turning me everyway but lose for their own selfish gains. So sorry that I had to hit rock bottom first. Today is a brighter day and with God’s grace so will tomorrow too. Not feeling guilty at all for once putting me first and being a just a little selfish for a change. Now I am taking care of myself being responsible and holding myself accountable for all that I do, especially that I now know better. In a few more weeks I’ll be back on Facebook with your. Thanks for caring and sharing most of all your support.
Very Good Tammy. Be sure to take a look at our Guide on How To Rescue Victims as well for an approach you can use. Feel free to reach out to us on Facebook so we can bring you into one of Victims Support Groups that you would find helpful.
By the way, have you found it helpful to write about your experience? You might want to consider a blog on http://www.WordPress.com for your own personal recovery.
All the best.
I don’t want my money back, I never wanted. every time I was scammed I gave the less I had at that time I didn’t know what a scammer was or is. I really did once for love. I was really in love truly speaking I think I still am! We lost our contact in time and someone takes advantage of this fact for telling me he had passed away. At that moment I felt and feel devasted.
I deal with scammers since 2015 but only in 2017, I start to recognize the way they right, the way they love, they married. they need to be close to us its the only way they find to have an easy way to ask to apply for vacations in the case of the militaries. after apply for vacations came an email with a bunch of excuses to send money.
But I only realize that this kind of guys have a name last year in a google search and I get to your site. I gave my first step in Cobalt Alert but I know I have much more to do for my self and for other people. I made another alert to another group and they answer me “you are not a Rock Star…” this is no help at all. I know very well what I am not.
I use to read carefully all of your articles and I believe I need help perhaps medical help.
Sandra, recovery is hard. Wherever you live your country offers counseling and support groups. You might want to contact your local police department and ask if they have a Victims Assistance Coordinator that can guide you to local Victims’ Assistance or Support Groups.