Why Are Malignant Narcissists Obsessed With Multiple Online Identities And Dating Sites?
You need to step back and step away from the word “Malignant” for just a moment. Let’s just look just at the Narcissist for a moment.
The Narcissist is a person. That means that there are variations in them, just like there are variations in all people who wouldn’t earn the label “Narcissist.”
And… as it turns out, many of us have narcissistic tendencies to varying degrees. We can’t help it. We all look at the world out of our eyes. We are quite literally, the center of our own universes.
The narcissist just fails to see everyone else as also being part of their own universes. The narcissist sees everyone else as just being an extension of their own universe. The narcissist will even genuinely fail to understand that some of their actions are actually abusive to their own needs because they will fail to understand that their fellow humans would have feelings, thoughts, desires, and wants that were outside the purview of the narcissist.
The narcissist’s view the people are just objects is really an extreme example of how a narcissist can mistreat another person.
To accomplish all of this, the narcissist will typically lie and manipulate. When lies and manipulation are used a certain way, it comes out as Gaslighting which is creating a situation where the subject of the Gaslighting begins to doubt their own sanity trying to make sense between reality, and the story coming out of the narcissist that the subject wants to believe.
The narcissist uses lies and manipulations to create the scenario where the narcissist says that Up is Down and the subject tries to reconcile that with how they’ve always known Up to be Up creating confusion and isolation.
What does this have to do with dating online?
Narcissists are a form of social predator. They feed off people. They feed off attention. Using marine life as an analogy, narcissists are very similar to sharks. Sharks aren’t evil as such, but they do strike us as being relatively unfriendly and quite dangerous. By and large, we tend to avoid them for the sake of our health, unless there are a few inches of strong glass between us and them.
As social predators, narcissists have learned how to swim through social situations. They know to listen for those key phrases and conversational elements that indicate if someone is likely to have dependency issues or an overly optimistic person that has total faith in humanity, or that really giving person in the corner who is desperately trying to make friends. They have learned to spot the personality “quirks” that indicate those people would be receptive and can be dominated by them.
Narcissists need that interaction, to be able to find the people who are receptive to their appeal. Online dating sites provide easy access to people who are desperate to receive attention and narcissists can read a profile, see exactly what that person is looking for, and then they can lie and manipulate that person to make them THINK they are getting exactly what they are looking for. A dating profile can make it easy.
A typical narcissist will make multiple accounts to maximize their exposure, and try to appeal to as many people as possible.
They make an account to MATCH what they first see people are looking for, and then they make another different one to match what other people are looking for. In other words, they are using the broadest possible net to lure in victims.