(Last Updated On: March 24, 2022)

A SCARSSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS.™ Guest EditorialGuest Editorial A Guest Editorial is an article written by an outside contributor or author who is not a part of the SCARS Management or SCARS Editorial Team. We allow scam victims and stakeholders to contribute articles, commentary, or editorials for publication on RomanceScamsNOW.com for review and publishing. To submit an article please send it to contact@AgainstScams.org By Debby B. Montgomery

The following is a Guest Editorial by Debby B. Montgomery – a leading Anti-ScamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. Victims Advocate, Best-Selling Author, Nationally Recognized Speaker & Lecturer, and Scam SurvivorSurvivor A Scam Survivor is a victim who has been able to fully accept the reality of their situation. That they were the victim of a crime and are not to blame. They are working on their emotional recovery and reduction of any trauma either on their own, through a qualified support organization, or through counseling or therapy. And has done their duty and reported the crime to their local police, national police, and on Anyscam.com. Debby plays a leading role in directly helping scam victims to recover, and is both an Advisor and a soon-to-be Board Member of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship ScamsSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS. Inc.

Have You Lost Your Power!

Have you experienced burnout, fatigue, or just the “I don’t want to do that” syndromeSyndrome It is a group of symptoms that can consistently occur together or a condition characterized by a set of associated symptoms.?

We are so darn busy that we probably don’t allow ourselves to feel those negative feelings and if, by chance, we do feel them, then we feel terrible about it and we feel overwhelmed, isolated, or just plain AWFUL! We feel like we’re not doing our best, that we’re lazy or that we’re going to let someone down. We certainly can’t do that, can we?

What if someone told you to take the negative energy that’s surrounding you and “Return to Sender with Conscious Intent! (Thanks Dawn C. Meyer!) I LOVE that! Just give back what doesn’t really belong to YOU – return all that energy to the universe and let the universe recycle it.

Think about when you’re bogged down with things that other people are placing on you and you’re feeling the burden and the overwhelm of not getting things done – if you are feeling “heavy” and can’t even remember if you had breakfast – this morning – then perhaps it’s time to unload. It’s time to STOP, RESET, SAY NO, RESCHEDULE, and then do something that will make you feel happy! For one friend of mine, it’s eating ice cream. For my husband, it’s playing golf on a Thursday afternoon. For me, keep on reading and you’ll find out soon!

Yesterday I had several meetings and they were pushed back throughout the day and my schedule changed. I started feeling overwhelmed because I had a telephone meeting scheduled for 4:30 pm and I hadn’t gotten everything done for that meeting. In the meantime I had to take friends to the airport by 4:00 pm, then pick up my son and drive him to his house, and then get to the grocery store to pick up something for dinner. I could have accomplished all that was required, but I FELT heavy – mentally stressed and I didn’t want to disappoint my business partner, so I sent a text and asked her to reschedule. I sat on pins and needles until I got her response!

I was so relieved when she said “Sure…that works for me too” and it opened me up to going to the pool with my 83-year-old Mom and thinking to myself “I want to be like her when I grow up!”

I’ve been “tagged” by a friend as possessing the Talents, Gifts, and Abilities of being kind, compassionate, caring and willing to do almost anything for others but, she goes on, I don’t allow myself to FEEL. How is it possible to not FEEL when you are doing so much for others around the world?

Well, opening your heart up to really feel emotions so that you can RECEIVE what is in store for you is totally different than opening your heart up to GIVE to others. But is it? In the “energy realm” giving and receiving are supposed to be the same but if you close yourself off to receiving then you’re stopping the flow of energy and you’re thwarting the flow of complete joy and happiness and for me that manifests in OVERWHELM and a desire to pull back, isolate, and eat bonbons while watching a Hallmark movie! I can usually sit there for about 30 minutes and bask in the “laziness” of it all and then my brain kicks in and tells my body to GET UP…get moving…be productive. ARGH! Leave me alone, at least until the kiss at the end – there’s always a kiss at the end of a Hallmark movie and for me sometimes that is happiness!!

So, back to FEELING and opening up to true emotions – can YOU do it? Try this exercise along with me.

Question: How do you feel when you’re counting on someone to do something and they don’t do it?

Answer: I feel frustrated.

Question: What does feeling frustrated FEEL like?

Answer: How do I feel when I feel frustrated? Hmmmmm. I guess for a moment I might have felt angry, maybe? But only because, oh, I don’t know… I don’t stay angry. I had a lot to do and they messed up my schedule.

Question: No, no, stay with your FEELINGS, don’t move on! What does angry feel like? You felt disrespected, didn’t you!

Well, do you get my point? I’m the master of running away from my feeling and the frustration, disrespect, and disappointment that comes along with not fully feeling my way through a problem leads me to giving up and I’m not a “giver upper! Giving up means FAILURE and I certainly DON”T want to FEEL that! Do you?

Why not? Is there something wrong with failing? I guess for me, failure is not an option. Failure lets my parents down. (Really? I’m 60 years old and that’s still running around in my head?) Have I missed my potential when I fail? Does failure mean others think “less of me” and heaven forbid that happens? Giving up to failure is giving my power away. Where is MY POWER? Why is it important to have it?

For me, my power is to be in control – of me, and yes, my company, and perhaps, my family, although I’ve been told I have NO control over anything but myself! It’s important to have my power in doing for myself. It’s important to let go of some people in my life sometimes because then I have room to let others come into my sphere of influence and maybe they need to be there for a season or for a reason!

Is there a reason we have situations in our life where we lose our power? Is there a reason we don’t accept and approve of ourselves? Oh my, is there a reason we don’t want to show the cracks in our life? YES! The universe is saying we aren’t PERFECT…what a light bulb moment! FEEL that…we AREN”T PERFECT and that’s okay. I’m not perfect but I want to be the best version of myself and that’s okay but with that, I’ve got to acknowledge that failure is okay because it’s just a stepping stone to greatness! Just remember to move forward and step UP into your greatness. Feel your greatness from your head to your toes.

Oh, but I need to be humble so others…Oh my goodness, STOP that! Feel your greatness and believe you are living your purpose. If you aren’t living your purpose, then find it! Your purpose will give you your power and that is greatness! Now is the time to STAND UP in your POWER and if you need to “return to sender”, then do it! Find a little joy in sitting under a big tree and watching the clouds go by. Today my dad and I saw a “stingray” floating along at 10000 feet! Yesterday my mom and I floated in the pool with our noodles and just talked. Making memories and taking control of who you spend your time with is within your power and within your control. Just DO IT and enjoy.

Debby B. Montgomery
Florida U.S.A.

Feel free to leave a comment for Debby Montgomery or SCARS in the comments below!

TAGS: Debby B. Montgomery, Your Power, Recovery, Helping Others, Feeling, In Control, My Power, Self-Help, Syndrome

END

– – –

Tell us about your experiences with Romance Scammers in our Scams Discussion Forum on Facebook »

– – –

FAQ: How Do You Properly Report Scammers?

It is essential that law enforcement knows about scamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. & scammers, even though there is nothing (in most cases) that they can do.

Always report scams involving money lost or where you received money to:

Local PoliceLocal Police The Local Police is your first responder in most countries. In most English-speaking countries and in Europe report to them first. In other countries look for your national cybercrime police units to report scams to. In the U.S., Canada, & Australia, you must report to the local police first. – ask them to take an “informational” police report – say you need it for your insurance
Your National Police or FBIFBI FBI - Federal Bureau of Investigation The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is the domestic intelligence and security service of the United States and its principal federal law enforcement agency. Operating under the jurisdiction of the United States Department of Justice, the FBI is also a member of the U.S. Intelligence Community and reports to both the Attorney General and the Director of National Intelligence. A leading U.S. counter-terrorism, counterintelligence, and criminal investigative organization, the FBI has jurisdiction over violations of more than 200 categories of federal crimes, including financial fraud. (www.IC3.gov)
The SCARS|CDN™ Cybercriminal Data Network – Worldwide Reporting Network HERE or on www.Anyscam.com

This helps your government understand the problem, and allows law enforcement to add scammers on watch lists worldwide.

– – –

Visit our NEW Main SCARS Facebook page for much more information about scams and online crime: www.facebook.com/SCARS.News.And.Information

To learn more about SCARS visit www.AgainstScams.org

Please be sure to report all scammers HERE or on www.Anyscam.com

All original content is Copyright © 1991 – 2020 SCARS All Rights Reserved Worldwide & Webwide – RSN/Romance Scams Now & SCARS/Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams are all trademarks of Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated (formerly the Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams)

Legal Notices:

SCARS, RSN, Romance Scams Now, SCARS|GLOBAL, SCARS, Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams, Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams, SCARS|ANYSCAM, Project Anyscam, Anyscam, SCARS|GOFCH, GOFCH, SCARS|CHINA, SCARS|CDN, SCARS Cybercriminal Data Network, Cobalt Alert, Scam Victims Support GroupSupport Group In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers., are all trademarks of Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated.

Contact the law firm for the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated by email at legal@AgainstScams.org