Why Do Victims Hate Criminals So Much?
Do victims ever think about what they feel, or if it is good or bad for them?
Moral Resentment
Victims have a self-interest in forgiving the offender since forgivenessForgiveness What Is Forgiveness? Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. means giving up moral resentment of the person who has done the wrong.
Moral resentment harbored by the victim fosters internal tension, angerAnger Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability., trauma, and diversion from positive and uplifting thoughts and feelings.
Forgiveness is also important because it confirms to victims that they too can receive forgiveness from those they have wronged. As we all know, even if not admitted, almost all scam victims did wrong to others – either lying to family and friends, maybe acting as a money muleMoney Mule A money mule sometimes called a "smurfer," is a person who transfers money acquired illegally (e.g., stolen) in person, through a courier service, or electronically, on behalf of others (usually criminals that they are knowingly or unknowingly affiliated). Typically, the mule is paid for services with a small part of the money transferred - but not always. Mules may or may not be aware that they are performing these actions. Money mules are often dupes recruited online for what they think is legitimate employment, not aware that the money they are transferring is the product of crime. The money is transferred from the mule's account to the scam operator, typically in another country. Similar techniques are used to transfer illegal merchandise. Mules can be prosecuted for numerous crimes., lying to send money, and especially lying to themselves after the scam ended.
If the victim’s forgiveness is to have meaning for the offender, however, the offender faces three tasks:
- a repudiation of the wrong and an acceptance of the moral judgment that it justified
- the performance of acts that take responsibility for the unfair costs that arose from the wrong that others were forced to bear
- and a willingness to take strategic action that will restore others’ confidence that the wrong will not be repeated
Of course, we all know that almost no scammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer. or fraudsterFraudster A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer. ever does these. Even if caught and prosecuted, any apologies or restitutionRestitution Restitution is where a court orders the defendant to give up his gains to the claimant (victim). It should be contrasted with Compensation, the law of loss-based recovery, in which a court orders the defendant to pay the claimant for their loss. are court-ordered. So the criminalCriminal A criminal is any person who through a decision or act engages in a crime. This can be complicated, as many people break laws unknowingly, however, in our context, it is a person who makes a decision to engage in unlawful acts or to place themselves with others who do this. A criminal always has the ability to decide not to break the law, or if they initially engage in crime to stop doing it, but instead continues. almost never does anything to deserve forgiveness.
Although the victim is the key source of forgiveness, those who did not directly suffer from the victimizationVictimization Victimization (or victimization) is the process of being victimized or becoming a victim. The field that studies the process, rates, incidence, effects, and prevalence of victimization is called victimology. can also experience outrage and inner disruption because the crime occurred. This means that family and friends of the victim may also harbor hate for the criminals – especially if the victim is open in their expression of it. It becomes a lesson taught to others, and especially to children – that people who did wrong should be hated – this is how it propagates.
Forgiveness Myth
Thus, it follows that a wrongdoer seeks not only the forgiveness of the one wronged but of others who also feel the ramifications of the crime in their midst.
Of course, we know this never (almost never) happens. The criminals are what they are and the victims are what they are.
In our opinion, forgiveness HAS NOTHING to do with the criminal. It especially should not be conditioned on something the criminal does, since expecting their contrition if just another fairy tale. Criminals ONLY change because THEY want to.
Perpetuating BlameBlame Blame or Blaming is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong, their action is blameworthy. By contrast, when someone is morally responsible for doing something right, we may say that his or her action is praiseworthy. Blame imparts responsibility for an action or act, as in that they made a choice to perform that act or action.
What do you do when faced with wrongdoing—do you blame or do you forgiveForgiveness What Is Forgiveness? Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.?
When confronted with crime, especially offenses that lie on the more severe end of the spectrum and cause victims terrible psychological or physical trauma or death, nothing can feel more natural than blame.
We may feel a range of hostile, negative emotions, such as hate, anger, resentment, indignation, disgust, contempt, and scorn towards the perpetrator. We may judge them harshly, condemning their character. We may want them punished and to suffer as their victims did for what they have done. Moreover, we may feel entitled to these sorts of emotions and attitudes, as reactions that are deserved by the offender. Indeed, in the UK and the USA, increasingly vehement and righteous public expressions of blame and calls for vengeance have become commonplace in wider society. This is especially true in the so-call anti-scam communities that exist on social media where hatred for these criminals is the norm.
On the other hand, people can and routinely do forgive others, even in cases of severe crime. But refusing to forgive and holding onto blame results in self-blameSelf-Blame Victim blaming occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them. SCARS seeks to mitigate the prejudice against victims and the perception that victims are in any way responsible for the actions of offenders or scammers. There is historical and current prejudice against the victims of domestic violence and sex crimes, such as the greater tendency to blame victims of rape than victims of robbery. Scam victims are often blamed by family & friends for the crime. Scam victims also engage in self-blame even though they are not to blame. at the same time!
Evolutionary psychologists argue that both vengeance and forgiveness are universal human adaptations that have evolved as alternative responses to exploitation, and, crucially, strategies for reducing the risk of future re-offending. We are naturally endowed with both capacities: to blame and retaliate, or to forgive and seek to repair relations. We have a choice. Which should we choose?
Unforgiveness Is Like Continuous Torture
When it comes to victims of scamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost., unforgiveness makes us feel angry, cold, hard, bitter, and resentful.
The impact of unforgiveness can be physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Yes, you may feel justified in your anger, yet you must choose what you desire – your anger or freedom from anger. Do you choose to recover from the trauma of the experience or remain trapped and potentially increase the damage that your trauma is doing?
When we don’t forgive, we are deciding to hold onto the crime and keep it in our hearts and minds. We focus on our pain and choose to relive the moment that offended us whether the offender is caught or not.
By withholding forgiveness, we think we’re hurting the other person when in reality, we’re hurting ourselves.
When people withhold forgiveness or harbor resentment (or hate) towards someone else, it often ends up making things worse for the person who has been wounded. One proverb compares resentment to swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die. When we hold onto the overwhelming emotions of anger, distress, and despair, we repeatedly injure (traumatize) ourselves and further the damage that has been inflicted on our souls.
When You’ve Been Wounded
When you’ve been wounded by a fraudster, forgiving them and yourself is not an easy thing to do.
Even when we understand the importance of forgiving others and ourselves, forgiveness is not an easy thing to do.
We must surrender our unforgiveness and our pain. Prayer, counselingCounseling Counseling is the professional guidance of the individual by utilizing psychological methods especially in collecting case history data, using various techniques of the personal interview, and testing interests and aptitudes. A mental health counselor (MHC), or counselor, is a person who works with individuals and groups to promote optimum mental and emotional health. Such persons may help individuals deal with issues associated with addiction and substance abuse; family, parenting, and marital problems; stress management; self-esteem; and aging. They may also work with "Social Workers", "Psychiatrists", and "Psychologists". SCARS does not provide mental health counseling. or therapy, support, and self-care techniques can help give us a unique perspective as we align our thoughts and emotions with the possibility of forgiveness. If we truly understand how important forgiving others is for our own mental healthMental health Mental health, defined by the World Health Organization (WHO), is "a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community". According to WHO, mental health includes "subjective well-being, perceived self-efficacy, autonomy, competence, intergenerational dependence, and self-actualization of one's intellectual and emotional potential, among others". From the perspectives of positive psychology or of holism, mental health may include an individual's ability to enjoy life and to create a balance between life activities and efforts to achieve psychological resilience. Cultural differences, subjective assessments, and competing professional theories all affect how one defines "mental health". and happiness then it becomes that much more of a priority to us.
The following will help you gain a greater understanding of what it means to be moving along the path towards forgiving others.
Sadly over a third of all financial fraudFraud In law, fraud is intentional deception to secure unfair or unlawful gain (money or other assets), or to deprive a victim of a legal right. Fraud can violate civil law (e.g., a fraud victim may sue the fraud perpetrator to avoid the fraud or recover monetary compensation) or criminal law (e.g., a fraud perpetrator may be prosecuted and imprisoned by governmental authorities), or it may cause no loss of money, property, or legal right but still be an element of another civil or criminal wrong. The purpose of fraud may be monetary gain or other benefits, for example by obtaining a passport, travel document, or driver's license, or mortgage fraud, where the perpetrator may attempt to qualify for a mortgage by way of false statements. A fraud can also be a hoax, which is a distinct concept that involves deliberate deception without the intention of gain or of materially damaging or depriving a victim. victims seem to be unable to let their anger go! We hope that because you are reading this, you will be one that can do it!
Remember, we are here to help. This website has vast amounts of wisdom written by Dr. McGuinness and the rest of our team to help you better understand why this is important. SCARS also offers our free support and recovery program. Plus SCARS publishes many self-help books to guild you through the process of recovery. Take advantage of what we offer, they are here to help you!
HATING CRIMINALS: HOW CAN SOMETHING THAT FEELS SO GOOD BE WRONG?
By Joshua Dressler, 1990
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Hating Criminals - How Can Something That Feels So Good Be Wrong_
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SCARS GREEN BOOK
Self-Help Self-Paced Recovery Program Guide
LEARN HOW TO RECOVER ON YOUR OWN
This program is designed to help scam victims struggling to recover on their own and for those who want to understand the overall process. You can be using other resources, such as trauma counseling or therapy, qualified support groupsSupport Groups In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers., or completely independent – on your own!
The SCARS Steps program is a complete program and is provided for the purpose of helping scam victims to overcome this experience. Throughout this SCARS Steps Program, we speak about issues and challenges that a victim may have and help guide them through their recovery. But each person is different and it is important to understand your own reasons for being vulnerable to being scammed.
After the trauma of being scammed, you need to take steps to recover and move on. This may be an alternative to counseling in the short term, but we still encourage you to seek out professional help & support. Throughout this SCARS Steps Program, we speak about issues, challenges, defects, or problems that a victim may have in a generalized way.
The SCARS GREEN BOOK will help you recover from your scam offline and it will always be there when you need it!
SCARS SLATE BOOK – Let Us Explain What Happened!
A Guide For Families & Friends Of Scam Victims
HOW TO HELP ROMANCE SCAM VICTIMS FOR FAMILIES & FRIENDS OF SCAM VICTIMS
This SCARS Publishing book represents a complete guide to help the families and friends understand how these scams work and how to help the victim.
The SCARS Slate Book should be purchased by family and friends to better understand what happened to the victim and the traumatic impact on them. But it can also be shared by the victim so that they do not have to explain to family and friends about the scam. This publication is to help others to help Scam Victims to make it through this traumatic experience and recover.
Each person is different and it is important to understand how relationship scamsRelationship Scam A Relationship Scam is a one-to-one criminal act that involves a trust relationship and uses deception & manipulation to get a victim to give to the criminal something of value, such as money! Click here to learn more: What Is A Relationship Scam? work and why people are vulnerable; to being scammed, how they were lured in, then groomed and manipulated. This understanding is essential in helping them through the process of ending the scam and then on to recovery. The SCARS Slate Book will provide the information necessary to help support a victim through this process.
SCARS RED BOOK
Your Personal Scam Evidence & Crime Record Organizer
ORGANIZE YOUR INFORMATION TO MAKE THE REPORTING PROCESS SIMPLE!
Helps you get and stay organized. This publication is to help Scam Victims organize their crime information. Complete this information before reporting to the police then bring this book with you
Before or after reporting to the police the RED BOOK gives you a dedicated tool to record all the essential facts of this crime. The Victim, the Scammers, the Money, and your Police interactions. Everything that really matters can be easily recorded for your immediate use and for the future!
As we have seen, money recovery/repayment programs can become available years after the scam ends and you need to keep all the details of this crime in case it is needed. We have also seen scammers being extradited to the U.S. and other countries, this will help in the event you testify or give statements, Additionally, this helps you have your information ready to qualify for victims’ benefits, compensation, or aid.
The Official SCARS RED BOOK is your way of recording all the important facts of this crime so that you do not lose essential information, Complete the RED BOOK then put it away with the confidence that you will have it if or when it is needed.
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By the Society of Citizens Against Relationship ScamsSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS. Inc.
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