SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years

SCARS Institute - 12 Years of Service to Scam Victims/Survivors

GETTING THE PERSON BACK THAT YOU ONCE WERE …

One of the things many recovering scam survivors state as a goal is to get the person back that they once were. Many of you have said this too.

Yet, is this really a worthwhile goal?

Look back at who you were … coldly and objectively!

Who were you before your scam and what attributes did you express?

Were you someone who believes any old stranger that walked into your life?

Were you someone that would sacrifice your own wellbeing and that of your family for someone you never met half a world away?

Were you someone who would lie for a stranger you never met? Lie to your financial institution, your friends or family?

Were you someone that easily lived in a fantasy world?

Obviously the pendulum swings in the opposite direction, and after the scam, you are distrusting (and other unhappy attributes). BUT hopefully you are none of those things that you were, right?

Of course, new victims may still be those things, and a part of recovering is learning not to be.

However, are these part of the YOU that you want to get back to?

So maybe a better goal is that you do NOT go back to who you used to be, but go forward to a YOU that is stronger, smarter, and wiser?

That the YOU that you used to be was not a good place either, and where you are going can combine the better self that you were with the better self you are now and create a fusion of these?

If you are interested in joining a SCARS Approved™ Scam Victims’ Support Group for women victims only please visit: https://www.romancescamsnow.com/rsn-forums-support-groups/

-/ 30 /-

What do you think about this?
Please share your thoughts in a comment below!

Table of Contents

To Understand All Scams
Read This
The SCARS Institute Relationship Scams Formula Checklist
This is the Formula that all Relationship Scams Follow

Get Organized Now – FREE

Organize the Records from Your Crime here: The SCARS Institute’s RED BOOK free Online Edition

A Tool to help you collect your information and make it more presentable to the Police, Banks, and for Your Records.
100% safe, private, and confidential. Only you see it.

SCARS Institute Insight

Free, Safe, and Confidential After-Scam Healing & Support is Available from the SCARS Institute
Join Us www.SCARScommunity.org

Subscribe To Our Weekly Update

See what we publish each week.

First Name *

Last Name *

Country *

Email Address *

Are you a scam survivor? * Yes No

May we send you email updates? * Yes No

Subscribe Unsubscribe

Please Leave A Comment!

Please tell us what you took from this?
Commenting is an essential part of healing
Read • Think • Write

Thank you for your comment. You may receive an email to follow up. We never share your data with marketers.

Recent Comments
On Other Articles

SCARS Institute Editorial Team on United States – Federal Bureau of Investigations [FBI]: “It is only that way because of the shame you feel. The reality is that it was not your fault.…” Sep 30, 15:36
thalia calleon on United States – Federal Bureau of Investigations [FBI]: “yhisis humiliating experience e and isembarassassing to to own up to peolealreadyassume u are not to bright because Arnold and…” Sep 30, 12:28
thalia calleon on United States – Federal Bureau of Investigations [FBI]: “should be better known by public live in assisiwdlivi g apartment many manyinstancresof Romance scams here ano.us ederly l” Sep 30, 12:24
Maria on Is It A Scam? Phone Scam Diagnostic – v1: “I tried the this test Is it a phone scam? Mine was. I think this is a helpful tool to…” Sep 30, 10:34
SCARS Institute Editorial Team on Is It A Scam? Romance Scam Diagnostic – v2: “Carole, as you move forward with your recovery, you will learn how this all works. It was not your fault.…” Sep 29, 17:37
Carole Frey on Is It A Scam? Romance Scam Diagnostic – v2: “I was blinded by such clever manipulation” Sep 29, 15:15
Cynthia Frank on The SCARS Institute Relationship Scams Formula Checklist – 2026: “As I read this I could see myself in every step with my scam. I gained a lot more knowledge…” Aug 28, 19:51
SCARS Institute Editorial Team on The Persistence of Danielle Delaunay as a Fake Identity – 2026: “Unfortunately, you are being scammed. She is using a fake name regardless. At this point, your best option is to…” Aug 26, 20:16
Hans Peter Krähenbühl on The Persistence of Danielle Delaunay as a Fake Identity – 2026: “Dear Sirs, I have met this woman with the name Abigail Boateng in Ghana. I have an intensive mail contact…” Aug 26, 12:28
Barbara on Trauma-Induced Fear May Cause Paranoia: “Very interesting article. I’m wondering if someone would likely recognize that they’re becoming increasingly paranoid, or hypervigilant, or does it…” Aug 24, 12:07

Important Information for New Scam Victims

Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery

If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org

If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

A Note About Labeling!

We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!

A Question of Trust

At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.

Statement About Victim Blaming

SCARS Institute articles examine different aspects of the scam victim experience, as well as those who may have been secondary victims. This work focuses on understanding victimization through the science of victimology, including common psychological and behavioral responses. The purpose is to help victims and survivors understand why these crimes occurred, reduce shame and self-blame, strengthen recovery programs and victim opportunities, and lower the risk of future victimization.

At times, these discussions may sound uncomfortable, overwhelming, or may be mistaken for blame. They are not. Scam victims are never blamed. Our goal is to explain the mechanisms of deception and the human responses that scammers exploit, and the processes that occur after the scam ends, so victims can better understand what happened to them and why it felt convincing at the time, and what the path looks like going forward.

Articles that address the psychology, neurology, physiology, and other characteristics of scams and the victim experience recognize that all people share cognitive and emotional traits that can be manipulated under the right conditions. These characteristics are not flaws. They are normal human functions that criminals deliberately exploit. Victims typically have little awareness of these mechanisms while a scam is unfolding and a very limited ability to control them. Awareness often comes only after the harm has occurred.

By explaining these processes, these articles help victims make sense of their experiences, understand common post-scam reactions, and identify ways to protect themselves moving forward. This knowledge supports recovery by replacing confusion and self-blame with clarity, context, and self-compassion.

Additional educational material on these topics is available at ScamPsychology.org – ScamsNOW.com and other SCARS Institute websites.

Psychology Disclaimer:

All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only

The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.

While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.

Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.

If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.

Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.

GETTING THE PERSON BACK THAT YOU ONCE WERE …

One of the things many recovering scam survivors state as a goal is to get the person back that they once were. Many of you have said this too.

What do you think about this?
Please share your thoughts in a comment below!

ARTICLE CATEGORIES

In the U.S. & Canada