Your Mother is in a Romance Scam – Now What Do You Do?

Helping Your Mother: A Guide for Teenagers

Intended for Teens with Mothers (a Parent) in a Scam. Not Intended for Scam Victims Themselves

Note: This is a guide for teenage children who have a parent, mother, who is currently engaged/involved or trapped in a scam or they are trying to recover after it ends. The purpose of this guide is just to help a young person understand what is happening and how they can help and get help for their mother. This is a frightening time for them, and we want them to know that with their help, there can be a good ending to this. But it takes a bit of courage and willingness to talk to the right people to make it happen.

Remember that this is not your mother’s fault; she was lured in and is being manipulated by a criminal. It is also not your fault. It is the criminal’s fault. Ok?

One more thing. The guy who co-wrote this is an old fossil and a dinosaur, so this is all explained as best as we can. Read what we offer and don’t expect teen speak, ok? The other person who co-wrote this was herself a mother who was scammed, so she knows firsthand what this is like, for herself and her children.

You Want to Help Your Mother Escape From the Scam

When a mother got pulled into this scam, it was not something she wanted; all she wanted was someone to talk to. You know how hard it is to be alone, even if family is all around; sometimes people just feel alone. Scammers know how to trick and manipulate people and lure them in. Once they are talking, they use real science to manipulate them to do what they want, and most often, the victim cannot even see it.

Of course, it affects the whole family. When someone is being controlled by these manipulators, their behavior changes in a lot of different ways. Maybe they think they are in love, maybe they act happy, but maybe they also start keeping secrets or getting angry when asked questions. These are normal changes that come with being manipulated.

You can see the signs: phone calls come day and night, money gets tight, and a stranger online seems to come first over the family. We know what this is like when fear grows, shame creeps in, and home stops feeling safe.

None of this means anyone failed. A criminal targeted a caring person, used practiced tricks and manipulative techniques to gain control, and pushed hard for secrecy.

We hope this guide will help you to understand what this is all about and what to do. We hope it speaks to you as the teen in the middle of this mess, offering calm, workable steps that may protect your mother and your family. Below, you’ll find clear signs to watch for, simple ways to check profiles and photos to help confirm it is a scammer, and safe people to contact.

Remember, this is not your mom’s fault, and you do not need to feel any shame for trying to help her and your family. Got that?

What About Your Dad?

This is mostly about mothers who become scam victims. When a man becomes one, dad or not, they are much harder to talk to and help. The only good news with them is that they tend to be in the scam for a shorter period of time, but they may need help too.

Getting Started

These scams leave patterns that can be detected if you know what to look for. These patterns might show up in phone use, money changes, and secretive behavior. While none of these signs alone proves it is a scam, when combined, they can paint a picture that requires careful attention and some action.

First, how do we know all this stuff? We know it because we have helped more than 11 million scam victims in the last 11 years. We are experts in these crimes. We also know the full psychology of scams, from how they affect the victims to their families. We have this nailed down.

Second, we know this may be new to you, or maybe you have heard all about scams and believe you have this, but trust us, you do not know, not yet, but you will. This is going to ask you to look at your mother in a completely different way, as though you were an adult. That is going to be really hard, and harder still to deal with this when it goes off the rails. These crimes can break people, and most of the time they will need professional support to come out the other side. Expect that so you will not be surprised when it happens. It will happen, in some form.

Understanding the Signs

Here are typical signs that someone is involved in an online scam, specifically a romance scam. Before you say anything, EVERYONE can become a victim of these criminals, and in fact, over 100 million people have been. Smart people, good people, people with families. The people are not stupid or careless; they are manipulated in ways that can turn anyone, even you! But we are going to give you the knowledge to keep yourself safe, too!

Do not skim this; read it. You need this knowledge.

Phone and Chat Changes

• • Constant Phone Use: A phone that never leaves her hand. With calls any hour of the day or night, yet she has never actually met the person, and probably never seen a video.
  • Late-Night Chats: Long conversations late at night with someone you don’t know.
  • Phone Position: A phone that stays face down, as if hiding the screen.
  • Encrypted Apps: Sudden use of encrypted messaging apps or private browsers. Normal parents use Facebook or maybe IG, now she is using something like Telegram.

These changes can indicate a new online relationship that brings pressure and secrecy. If you notice these signs, it might be worth having a gentle conversation with your mother about who she’s been talking to and how she’s feeling.

Maybe she mentioned that she met someone, and you were not too interested yet? You need to be now.

Money and Time Shifts

• • Cash Shortages: Sudden and unexplained shortages of cash.
  • Bank Transfers: Unexplained money transfers or withdrawals.
  • Gift Cards: She has bought new gift cards, which you have seen in her purse or desk.
  • Packages: Packages arriving with electronics, prepaid cards, or other unusual items.
  • Time Management: Time is pulled away from family events for urgent calls or online activities.
  • Promises of Return: Promises that money sent today will come back tomorrow or sometime soon at a higher amount or with interest.

These financial changes are common in romance-investment scams and fake schemes. If you see these signs, it’s important to approach the topic with care and understanding. We will explain how to do that below.

Story Patterns

• • Location Claims: A “partner” who claims to be overseas, on a remote oil rig, in the military, a traveling businessman, or on a humanitarian mission.
  • Not Married: His wife died tragically or is maybe divorced, maybe he has a son or daughter who needs something or has health needs, and needs money,
  • Emergencies: He has a sudden emergency that requires money/funds for visas, customs fees, hospital bills, or device repairs. Potentially for any business expense, or if a soldier needs food or to pay for leave to come back to the States.
  • Mentors: A new “mentor” or “advisor” who teaches crypto trading, gold investing, or other financial schemes. If she is talking about crypto, watch out!

What Scammers Say and Do

These story elements are often used by scammers to create a sense of urgency and emotional investment in their victims. If your mother starts telling stories that fit these story patterns, it might be a sign that she’s been trapped by a scammer.

Investigating Safely

Ways to Investigate

Curiosity works better than confrontation. Ask simple open questions about the new person or opportunity. Write down names, phone numbers, usernames, and email addresses as they come up in normal talk or when you can investigate. Note down the details such as city, job, employer, military unit, charity, or business name. Save links to his public profile when possible. Small notes can help later with checks that do not depend on memory. Also, you may need these when you reach out for help. Understand?

Emotional and Behavioral Signs

Behavior or how she acts often changes when someone is in a scam, even before facts are clear. These shifts do not prove a scam, yet they can show rising pressure and control from someone outside the family.

By the way, scammers act a lot like narcissists too. So a lot of this same info can help you, be watchful for those guys too.

Rapid Bonding

• • • • Fast Attachment: A stranger becomes the most important person in her life within days or weeks.
      • Pet Names: Pet names and “soulmate” claims arrive fast. Scammers often do not use your mom’s real name; they call her things like ‘queen’ or others. This is actually because they are scamming many people at the same time, and that helps them avoid mistakes. Also, scammers work in teams, so this way they can do hand offs to another team member without slipping up.
      • Future Plans: Plans for marriage or joint business appear early. Sometimes, she will talk about him coming to visit soon. The really worst case is if she starts talking about going to visit him.

This speed creates a sense of fate that blocks caution. It is all about twisting the happily ever after story.

Isolation Moves

Scammers know that if she talks to other people, they can disconnect her from their control, so they use a technique called ‘gaslighting’ to get her isolated from friends and family.

• • • • Ignoring Friends: Old friends get ignored.
      • Family Voices: Family voices feel “against” the relationship or opportunity. ‘They will never understand’
      • Privacy Requests: The new contact asks for her secrecy and privacy and calls the relatives “negative or bad influences.”
      • Hiding Chats: The mother starts to hide chats and makes your family feel like intruders.

These are all common control tactics. This is real psychological science, and ot works.

Mood Swings

• • • • Pre-Call Calm: She is calm before a call, then upset afterward. Usually, because the scammer wants something, like money.
      • Trading App Emotions: Joy after a “win” on a trading app, then panic when funds “freeze.” If it is an investment scam, such as a bitcoin scam, they play with her emotions using their app. Yes, scammers have apps.
      • Anger and Guilt: Anger at gentle questions you and others may ask, followed by guilt and tears. This is because the manipulation is working against her sense of right from wrong.

These swings often track the scammer’s cycle of love-bombing, money requests, and fear from threats. Yes, threats; some scammers, especially toward the end of a scam when the victim becomes resistant, will threaten her children, so she feels trapped..

Language Changes

• • • • New Phrases: New phrases that sound unlike her, such as “liquidity,” “unlock fee,” “broker verification,” “customs hold,” or “remote deployment.” Also, weird business terms you have not heard before.
      • Shaming Questions: Phrases that shame questions, such as “You have to trust me, I know what is best,” or “If you loved me, you would help, instead of asking all these questions.”

Here is the thing: in a way, your mom has been brainwashed. She is being manipulated and controlled, and this is like an internal war in her brain.

Financial Urgency

• • • • Unpaid Bills: Fixed bills go unpaid or start being late.
      • Decreasing Savings: Savings decrease without a plan.
      • Credit Card Balances: Credit card balances grow.
      • Pressure Tactics: The person on the other end raises the pressure with deadlines, threats, or promises of huge returns if a larger transfer happens now.

Of course, this is not everything. It takes this whole website (and our other ones too) to document much of it, but it gives you enough that you can start deciding if something is whacked.

Confirming the Scam

Ok, you suspect something, now what? Now you put on your detective’s hat and go looking. What you want to do is to confirm this is a scam as much as you can. But don’t worry if you cannot sus out everything, scammers are professionals.

Confirmation can help protect both your hearts and finances. The goal is to test claims without escalating conflict with your mother.

Reverse Image Search

Profile photos can be tested using a reverse image search. If the same face appears under many different names or in stock photo catalogs, that supports a scam theory. More than one profile using the same images and different identities is a strong sign of fraud. If a photo appears as a celebrity or a model in another context, that also signals danger.

You can search on Google, Yandex, Bing, TinEye, and others. Typically, scammers are creatures of habit and also sometimes lazy, so they reuse the same photos over and over forever. But they also take over real accounts, so it may not turn up anything.

Profile Scan

Look hard at the person’s social media timeline. Look carefully.

• • Maybe there have been no posts for years, then just recently a bunch.
  • A sparse history that starts recently.
  • Very few real-life comments from friends and family.
  • Broken grammar that does not match the claimed person’s background.
  • Work and school dates that do not make sense.
  • They were born and live in the same place. Nobody does that in the U.S. anymore.
  • Look, if they have followers on a Facebook profile, real people do not have followers; they turn it off to prevent stalkers
  • Look at their friends, especially for Africans, Middle Easterners, or Asians, if they are not those. This can indicate that the real scammer is also watching a fake profile.
  • A profile that has a lot of flower photos, or motivational sayings, especially a man’s profile.

These are common mismatch clues and red flags.

Video Call Reality Check

Live video chat can confirm whether a real person matches claimed photos. Scammers often avoid it or use stolen video loop tools or AI deep fakes. If a person refuses consistent video calls with clear movement and sound after weeks of contact, the risk rises.

Ask your mom if you can video chat with the guy. Ask him for proof of life – he can show you a newspaper with today’s date, or something like that. Proof requires a photo with the same face and the proof.

Document Claims

If the person sends copies of IDs, visas, or military papers, it is a confirmed scam. First, it is a crime for military personnel to copy and send their IDs. It is even against the law to copy a passport, but many do it.

Look for edits on any documents, blurry seals, or fonts that do not match official standards. Many forged documents follow common templates and contain spelling errors or strange phrasing.

• • Learn more about Military IDs here.
  • Learn more about passports here.

Money Platform Warnings

Fake trading sites, fake crypto custodians, and clone banks often show no physical address, no real customer service, and no registration with a national regulator. Pages show perfect “profits,” meaning they do not take out fees like a normal financial institution would, and block big withdrawals with new fees. This pattern appears often in pig-butchering and crypto investment scams.

By the way, an investment scam can also be a romance scam. The romance is how they control the victims.

Talking to Your Mother

We don’t know you or your mother, so this is generalized information. We do know that this is going to be really hard, but remember who you are doing all this for.

Reducing Shame and Keeping a Bridge Open

Tone matters more than any data you might get at first. A person under manipulation often hears simple facts as attacks. Soft language keeps the door open. Ask questions that do not sound like an attack, but that you are really interested. If something is odd or out of place, then just say “that seems weird, doesn’t it?” She may start to see the red flags from your questions.

Obviously, use your own words.

Lead with Care & Concern

If you get past the stage where you have investigated this all and now want to confront her with your findings, start with a simple concern. Say that you are worried. That you wanted to know more about him, and looked things up, but it doesn’t make sense. Your worry comes from love, and you just want her to be safe. Keep the focus on caring, not on judgment. A calm voice helps her nervous system (and yours) settle and allows thinking to come back online.

Ask Before Advising

Questions that invite reflection can work better than lectures. Try a short phrase such as: “Mom, can I ask a couple of questions to help me understand what’s going on?” “I don’t know this guy and I feel worried. Is there one fact we can verify together right now?”

Stay on the Facts

Name one clear claim at a time and test it together. For example, confirm a workplace address, a license number, or a photo origin. Small proofs can make space for a larger truth. Also, one at a time helps to create doubt in her own mind, which she can think about after you talk. Of course, when she talks to the scammer again, he is likely to control her again, but that doubt was planted.

Avoid Labels

Do not use words like “scam” or “fake” since these can close the door when used too soon. Try neutral language at first. Phrases such as “This part does not match” or “This site has so many profiles using the same photos, what do you think it means?” This allows your mom to keep her dignity while facing really hard facts.

Keep Her Dignity Intact

If you get to the point of exposing it as a scam, remind her that being targeted is common and does not mean she is at fault. Reinforce the message that a crime happened to her. Emphasize that skilled criminals use human psychology to trap caring people.

What Happens If She Refuses To Believe?

This is the hardest part.

First, she will be upset with you, no matter what you say. If she refuses to see your perspective, just drop it for now. By pushing more, it can only get worse. Give her a few days, maybe a week, to just let her think about it, say nothing more. Let things cool down, and try hard not to take it personally, and remember she is kind of broken right now.

If after a week, she still refuses to end it and see your point of view, you are going to have to adult-up and do something. This may be the hardest thing you have ever had to do, because you now have to see your mother from a new perspective. You have to see her as a normal human who got caught in a scam and needs help. She is not a bad person (we hope), but she is in trouble, and you can help her.

It is going to take some courage to do the hard things that come next. But you know what? You are doing the right thing, even if you are wrong. Your job is to help protect your family. Can you step up and do that?

Who to Contact and How to Do It

The right contacts depend on the situation and local resources. Clear and simple steps help most.

When you suspect your mother is a victim of a scam, it’s important to find out and know who to turn to for help. Here are some safe and trusted resources you can reach out to below.

Just one thing, you are going to feel like crap going behind your mother’s back. But this is what adults have to do. This is not fair. This is not something you should have to do, but it is what has to be done.

When your mom finds out, she is going to be pissed at you, big time. But this is what we all have to do to help the ones we love sometimes. We have to let them yell at us when we do something they do not like. Just remember, she is being manipulated by a criminal, and you are coming to her rescue!

Can you do this? We have faith in you.

Ok, Where You Are Makes a Difference

We publish for people all around the world because scams are everywhere, affecting victims in EVERY country.

Each region or country has different agencies and resources to help in different ways, but most of them have an agency that can help families sort out problems. Do not be afraid that something bad will happen to your mom or that they will take you away from her. They are there to help you solve this big problem.

Child and Family Services

Your first contact should be your local Child and Family Services. They are equipped to handle a wide range of family issues, including those involving parents involved in scams. They have social workers who understand these types of problems. They can provide immediate support and guidance for your mom on how to proceed. Child and Family Services can also connect you with other resources and ensure that your mother receives the help she needs, like talking top a counselor or the police.

Understand, your mother did not break the law by being scammed. All any of us want to do is shut it down, right? And make sure she is safe. Your mother is not an expert in scams; we are, and hard as it is, this is the right thing to do.

How to Contact Child and Family Services:

Find the local Children and Families agency in your area. Many times, they have a hotline you can go outside and call. Do not hide anything; the more they know, the better they can help. That is their job.

We recommend them before telling anyone else, because your mother is going to be resistant and in denial, and they can help her work through that. It may be ugly, but this is the only path for her safety and your family.

Use a short script when making first contact. For example: “Our family is dealing with a situation where my mother is trapped in some kind of scam. We need advice and support to ensure her safety and well-being. Can someone from your team speak with us about the next steps and available resources?”

They should send someone to talk to you and then to talk to your mother.

Local Police

After your mother sort of accepts that it was a scam, your next step should be to contact your local police department to report the crime. This is important because maybe they can help get some of the money back.

Many police departments have specialized resources and teams that address family issues, as well as fraud (another word for scams). Even if your local department is small, most officers can understand the issue and provide advice. They can also speak with your mother about her situation and guide her on how to report the scam formally.

How to Ask for Help from the Police:

Use a short script when making contact. For example: “My mother has been targeted by scammers and we need to report this, can you help us? Money has been requested, and contact details are known. We are asking for a safety check and advice. Can an officer speak with my mother about this and next steps, and tell her how to report this formally?”

Family Doctor or Primary Care Clinic

Health professionals can play a vital role in supporting your mother during this time. They can screen her for anxiety, sleep problems, and stress reactions that may worsen during a scam. Additionally, they can help with referrals for counseling and answer questions about stress and concentration changes. A calm medical visit can sometimes open the door for harder truths to be discussed.

Understand this: a scam is not just an emotional thing; it affects the whole body, and it can produce serious problems that take professionals to help with. Do not let your mom simply say “I am fine,” because she is not.

Family Church and Minister or Priest

Even if your family does not regularly attend a specific church, reaching out to a local minister or priest can provide immediate and compassionate help, that is their job. Many religious leaders are trained to offer emotional support and can guide you on how to handle the situation with care and understanding. They can also connect you with additional resources within the community. Catholics tend to be best for this.

How to Approach a Minister or Priest:

You can use a simple script like this: “Our family is going through a difficult time. My mother has been scammed and is in need of help, and we need some guidance and support. Can you offer us some advice and maybe connect us with other resources?”

Trusted Family Members or Friends

Reaching out to trusted family members or adult family friends can provide additional support and a different perspective. They can offer emotional support and may have experienced similar situations. However, be cautious about who you share this information with, as not everyone may understand the sensitivity of the situation. They might even be judgmental and blame her.

Professional Counselors or Therapists

Scams take an emotional toll, and often victims go through trauma and real grief (even though it wasn’t real), and professional help can be good for both your mother and you. Counseling can provide a safe space to talk through mixed feelings, including anger at the criminal, worry about money, and confusion about trust. There is no shame in getting help to fully understand, accept, and forgive your mother, and to address your feelings about the criminal.

SCARS Institute (Us)

The SCARS Institute is a nonprofit organization dedicated to educating and assisting victims of romance and other types of scams. We offer a wealth of educational resources, including the ScamVictimsSupport.org website, which provides your mother with tools and information for new scam victims. We can guide you and your mother through the recovery process and help you understand the manipulation techniques used by scammers.

Other Credible Sources

Look for information on any law enforcement or governmental websites that talk about scams. These sources can provide additional insights and resources to help you and your mother work through this challenging time.

Who May Not Be Ideal at First

We recommend against talking with school personnel who are often caring, and many are skilled, but that may be too hard to do, since you have to go back there after all this is sorted out. Once things have settled down, you may want to talk to a school counselor about this all, but that is your choice.

Why Telling a Safe Adult Is Not Betrayal

You may fear breaking your mother’s trust. You may think that going behind her back is bad. Keeping her secrets can feel like loyalty or even protecting your family. But it’s not. Only bringing this out into the light will help. Truth is the only weapon against this that we have.

This is a painful spot you are in. Your mother is trapped in a scam, she is in danger, and the family really needs help. You have to get this clear in your head. This is about helping, not hurting anyone.

Sharing concerns with a safe adult who can help you and your family is an act of care, not a betrayal. The goal is your mother’s safety, not punishment. Criminals push victims to hide the relationship and silence their families. Breaking that isolation is protective. It also matches how these cases move toward resolution.

Guilt and shame feel heavy. This may be the hardest thing you have ever had to think about. Those feelings are common, but this is not about taking an easy path; this is about accepting the truth and doing what needs to be done to save your family, to save your mother, and that is the truth.

A crime is in motion, and you are not at fault for asking for help. Speaking up can stop deeper financial losses, better protect your mother’s mental health, and shorten the time to recovery. Safety comes before secrecy. Got that? Can you accept it?

First Recovery Steps

The first step to helping your mother get through this is to stop the scam and get help. After that is done, she is going to see her world crash and burn. These crimes, because of all the manipulation and control, can do serious damage to a person’s mind – we know, we have helped millions of people who have been through this. It is far from fun. It can be so bad that they need real professional help to make it through this.

But by asking the right people for help, you took the first step for her. Now is the time to think about what comes next.

The first days after discovery or her acceptance that it was a scam feel very raw. People often swing between anger, grief, and disbelief. She may be in shock or feel real fear. Most if this is the natural reaction to coming out of the scam, but this is also when psychological trauma sets in. It cannot be prevented; it can only be supported.

Simple actions by you, your family, and professionals help anchor her for the next steps.

Protect Money and Accounts

Your mother has been talking to someone that she trusted completely, but it was a criminal, and that means everything has to be locked down, fast! All of her accounts (bank, credit cards, etc.) are at risk, so speed matters right now.

Help her to ask the bank or credit union to place alerts, review recent transfers, and freeze cards if needed. Change passwords for EVERYTHING, including email, financial apps, and key social media. Turn on two-factor authentication. Save transaction records and chat logs. Screenshots of messages, profiles, and websites can be stored in a safe folder for reporting.

Be sure to keep the evidence. This was a crime, and it might help the police, FBI, etc. to track them down. It’s hard to know, so it is better to keep it all saved and safe.

Block and Report

Block the scammer on all platforms. Report the profile to the platform’s abuse team. Save a copy before reporting in case the account gets deleted. A good way to do that is to save it as an HTML file or print it out.

Do not send more money to anyone, regardless of what they say they can do.

Scammers often try to trick victims into paying for money recovery services. So never pay any “recovery” fee. Real police do not charge for recovery.

Choose One Support Channel

Recovery feels less lonely when she can talk to people who understand what she has gone through. Such as a support group and professional support.

We publish the information she needs to help her through this process, and on request, we can provide her with free therapy for a month to get her started (as long as it is still available). She needs to start reading the new victim information on www.ScamVictimsSupport.org

Reading clear information may help your mother accept what happened and reduce self-blame and shame. Blaming herself and feeling shame are big deals and hard to overcome, but with your help and the support of professionals, she can make it through this.

Set Regular Routines

One of the dangers after a scam is depression. You can help guide her to keep regular habits, which is important when trying to avoid depression.

Sleep, meals, hydration, and sunlight activity (like walking) help the nervous system settle and feel safe.

Write down a short, daily plan with two or three small tasks only that she can do and you can help her. Short tasks build momentum and give the brain a sense of control again.

You should also encourage her to start keeping a diary or journal. Writing a little every day. This helps different parts of her brain to coordinate and stay grounded.

Make a First Report

Reporting the crime creates a record. This is very important. God only knows what the scammers were doing, so it is possible that it is more complicated than you know. Reporting the crime says that she was an innocent victim. It also supports bank claims or future cases. A local police report is the first place to start. Then, a national fraud complaint, such as on www.IC3.gov, and platform reports work together. Keep copies of any case numbers and documents.

Remember something, these guys are criminals. They are not a game. They are not to be played with. Do not try to get even, or you can make things much worse. They have a lot of money, and they know real cybercriminals. They can destroy your life and your mom’s if you piss them off. Let the police do their job. Your job is to help your mother to recover from this and do the things that need to be done.

Understanding Common Manipulation

Scammers use techniques that work on most people because our brains are wired to be scammed. Knowing the playbook lowers shame and adds clarity. It also helps to avoid future scams, because many victims fall for more than one scam.

Cognitive Biases

Brains are machines that like patterns and quick rules so they do not have to work so hard. Everybody has biases, assumptions, and fallicies they use instead of thinking. Scammers exploit this.

One of these biases is Confirmation Bias, which makes people notice only the facts that support the story they want to believe. Commitment Bias or Sunk Cost Bias makes people defend a choice after investing time or money. Scarcity cues, like expiring deals, push fast decisions. These are normal brain shortcuts that criminals exploit.

If you want to learn more about this go here.

Hormone Effects

Humans are a big hot mess. We run on feelings and emotions. But those emotions run on hormones and neurotransmitters. This is basic biochemistry.

Warm attention, frequent messages, and loving words all release bonding chemicals that create, maybe even force, trust and comfort. Stress and fear release other chemicals that narrow thinking and make urgent threats feel more real. The mix traps even careful people.

Just so you know, in order to be more immune to scams, you have to change your behaviors.

Love-Bombing or Amygdala Hijacking, and Isolation

This technique works like a charm. Sudden praise, constant attention, and future promises create an emotional high. Then come requests for secrecy, claims that others are negative, and urges to prove loyalty. The cycle of reward and threat wears down judgment.

Fake Proof

Scammers are prepared. This is their business.

They hunt normal people and make them their victims. This is what they do, and they are very good at it.

In some fake investment apps, a small “profit” that appears hooks a victim. A bank transfer wire that seems clear but later reverses. A photo from a hospital bed. A copy of a ticket for a flight that never happened. Fake business documents and more. These props make the story feel solid. None of these proves a real person or a real return.

Have Safe Conversations

Talking about scams with your mother, or anyone else, can be hard. A steady tone and simple phrases can keep the bond intact. Support is not about big things; it is about helping in small ways every day, day after day.

Avoid Blame

Always remember to tell he these things (we call them affirmations):

• it was not her fault
• she is the victim of a crime
• she is a survivor
• she is not alone – she has you
• she can make it through this – but it will be hard
• she is stronger than she knows
• she is worthy – we say ‘AXIOS’
• whatever she is feeling is valid – ‘VERO’

Remind her that you are there to help her, that you have her back. That this does not make her a bad mother, just a human being, and human beings are wired to be deceived. It is the default factory setting.

Also remember not to blame yourself. You acted when you needed to. Once the scam started, all you could do was run for help. You did good.

Your Well-Being and Counseling

Witnessing a scam unfold with someone you love is hard. Harder than most people can ever imagine.

You will likely carry fear, anger, and sadness while trying to protect your mother. This is the crack that lets trauma sneak in. This will be traumatizing for you too.

Counseling can provide you a safe place to talk through mixed feelings, including anger at the criminal, worry about money, and confusion about trust. There is no shame in needing help. Talking to a school counselor or a licensed therapist can reduce stress, improve sleep, and prevent longer-term anxiety or depression. Support can also help a teen accept your mother’s pain without taking on the full weight.

Children and Family Services can usually provide you with free counseling. If they do not, let us know, we may be able to help, but ask them first.

Learning More About Scams

Man, is this a big can of worms.

We have spent more than 30,000 hours learning about this stuff. But that is good, because we have it all organized on our websites. If you want to learn more, just visit them. Remember, everyone can become a victim. Knowledge is the vaccine.

Clear information reduces fear for your mother too. Reading survivor stories, learning the common scripts, and seeing examples of fake profiles can make the patterns easier to accept.

We offer a free Scam Survivor’s School for free (did we say it was free?) that she can enroll in at www.SCARSeducation.org

Also, look at our magazine at www.ScamsNOW.com. It has an amazing amount of useful information that at first may seem random, but it all helps.

Talking with Brothers, Sisters, and Other Relatives

If you have brothers and sisters, this is going to be frightening and stressful for them too. This is normal. Do what you have to do, and assure them you are trying to help. They will need you, especially after the scam ends and your mother is trying to fix her brain. It takes a few months before things look normal again, but it can actually take years to really recover. So you will need to step up and fill in the gaps with help.

The social worker can help here too, ask them.

During the scam, share only what protects the kid’s safety. Afterward, they can hear more details if your mother agrees. Remember to keep it simple – criminals, scam, tricked, but you and your mother are going to do your best to fix everything. Family meetings work best when one person leads the conversation. If your mother is not up to it, you can step in. Keep the focus on next steps rather than on blame.

Closing Encouragement

A scam does not define a mother’s worth or a family’s strength. It marks a point when a criminal made contact and used pressure to cause harm.

Families can come together with care, facts, and steady steps. You can act from the perspective of love and concern, and you are not betraying anyone. You are protecting your mother and your family. Harsh words are not required. Small actions are.

Your mother is not going to take this well. This is unbelievably hard for her, and it will be hard for you too. No sugarcoating this, it is a crapstorm. But you can all get through it; it just takes work.

Recovery takes time. Trauma is a monster. Trust rebuilds with patience.

Learning about scams together can turn a painful chapter into a source of wisdom. Strong families grow through honest talk and shared action. No one needs to carry the blame for a crime that targeted kindness.

Got all that?

You can do this!

Glossary

• Affirmations — This refers to short, calming statements that reduce shame and steady judgment. The teen may repeat them to remind the mother that a crime happened to her, that she is worthy, and that support remains available.
• Amygdala hijacking — This describes a sudden surge of fear or excitement that narrows thinking and speeds decisions. Scammers trigger this state with urgent requests, which makes careful review feel harder than usual.
• Bank alerts — This means real-time notifications from a bank or credit union for withdrawals, transfers, or card use. Alerts help a family spot unusual activity early and contact the bank before losses grow.
• Block and report — This is the act of cutting off all contact with the scammer, then sending platform abuse reports. Screenshots and links should be saved first so evidence is not lost when accounts vanish.
• Child and Family Services — This is a local agency that supports families in crisis. A social worker can speak with the mother, help the teen, and guide first steps without treating the mother as a criminal.
• Cognitive biases — These are mental shortcuts that speed choices but can mislead judgment. Scammers exploit them to make false claims feel normal, urgent, or safe.
• Confirmation bias — This is the habit of noticing facts that support a belief and missing facts that do not. Scammers feed this with staged “proof,” which keeps victims committed to a false story.
• Counseling for teens — This is professional support that helps the teen process fear, anger, and confusion. Sessions may reduce sleep problems and prevent longer-term anxiety or depression.
• Deepfake video — This is a synthetic video that mimics a person’s face and voice. Scammers may use it to avoid live calls or to fake “proof of life.”
• Dignity-preserving language — This means using calm, neutral words that allow the mother to keep self-respect while facing facts. It lowers defensiveness and keeps the door open for the next talk.
• Document claims — These are copies of passports, military IDs, or licenses sent as “proof.” Forgeries are common, and sharing many of these documents is illegal, so their appearance signals high risk.
• Encrypted apps — These are private messaging tools outside normal social feeds. A sudden switch to such apps, especially at a new contact’s request, often signals secrecy and control.
• Evidence preservation — This is saving chats, receipts, usernames, and website copies. Organized files support police reports, bank disputes, and platform takedowns.
• Family meeting — This is a planned talk that sets next steps, not blame. One person leads, time is limited, and outcomes are written so everyone knows what happens next.
• Fake recovery service — This is a second scam that promises to get money back for a fee. Real police do not charge victims, so any “recovery fee” request is a warning sign.
• Financial urgency — This is a pattern of sudden bills, late payments, or new loans tied to the online contact. Pressure grows with deadlines, threats, or promises of quick returns.
• Gaslighting — This is a kind of manipulation that makes a person doubt memory, judgment, or loyalty. Scammers use it to isolate the mother from family and to silence questions.
• Gift cards — These are common payment tools requested by scammers because they are hard to trace. New cards found at home or frequent card purchases are warning signals.
• Hormone effects — This refers to normal body chemistry that strengthens attachment during constant contact and praise. Stress hormones then narrow attention when threats or deadlines appear.
• IC3 complaint — This is a formal report to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center. It creates a record, supports financial claims, and may assist future investigations.
• Isolation tactics — These are moves that cut the mother off from friends and family. Requests for secrecy, claims that relatives “do not understand,” and hidden chats are common examples.
• Journal habit — This is daily writing of feelings and facts to calm the nervous system. Short entries help organize attention and make next steps easier to choose.
• Local police — This is the first law enforcement contact after initial acceptance that a scam occurred. Officers can record a report, offer safety advice, and explain how to submit evidence.
• Love-bombing — This is overwhelming praise, attention, and future promises early in contact. It creates a fast bond that overrides caution and makes later money requests more persuasive.
• Money platform warnings — These are signs that a trading site, custodian, or “bank” is fake, such as no address, no regulator listing, and perfect profits that never include fees. Big withdrawals often get blocked by new “unlock” charges.
• Mood swings — These are sharp shifts tied to calls, app “profits,” or threats. Sudden joy, panic, or anger after contact often reflects the scammer’s control cycle.
• Neutral language — This is wording that describes mismatches without labels. Phrases such as “this date does not match” or “this site shows the same photo under other names” invite reflection.
• Open questions — These are gentle prompts that encourage explanation rather than defense. Questions such as “What feels off here?” or “What fact could we check together?” can reduce conflict.
• Package redirection risk — This is a sign of mule activity when electronics or prepaid items arrive for reshipping. Handling such packages can expose a family to further crime.
• Primary care visit — This is a doctor appointment that screens for stress, sleep loss, and anxiety. A clinician can document symptoms, provide referrals, and explain how stress affects decision-making.
• Profile scan — This is a review of a contact’s social feed for missing history, mismatched dates, and unusual friend lists. Sparse posts, recent creation, and odd grammar raise risk.
• Proof of life — This is a live, verifiable action that shows the contact is real and present. A dated, personalized photo or a live call with spontaneous movement is far stronger than a still image.
• Quick support script — This is a short, prepared message used when calling agencies or police. It states that a parent is being controlled by a scam, that safety is a concern, and that guidance is requested.
• Reporting sequence — This is the order for making records: local police, national fraud portal, and platform reports. Case numbers should be saved with copies of evidence.
• Reverse image search — This is checking a photo on tools like Google Images or TinEye. Seeing the same face under many names or as a stock image supports a scam conclusion.
• Safety before secrecy — This principle places protection above keeping the scam private. Bringing safe adults in early reduces harm and shortens recovery time.
• Scarcity pressure — This is a tactic that claims an offer or window will close soon. It pushes fast choices and blocks normal caution.
• Secrecy requests — These are demands to hide the relationship or investment from family. They are a strong sign of manipulation and control.
• Shame and guilt — These are heavy emotions that silence victims and their families. Naming them as normal reactions helps replace self-blame with practical action.
• Support channel — This is one main path for help, such as a survivor group plus a therapist. A single, steady channel reduces overload and keeps recovery moving.
• Trading app manipulation — This is the use of fake dashboards that show “profits,” then freeze withdrawals behind new fees. Small early “wins” are designed to hook larger deposits.
• Trauma response — This is the body and mind’s reaction after a shock, with sleep loss, fear, or numbness. Gentle routines, counseling, and social support help the system settle.
• Trusted adult — This is a safe, local person or professional who can act to protect the family. Reaching out to a trusted adult is care, not betrayal.
• Two-factor authentication — This is a login method that requires a second code beyond a password. Turning it on reduces account takeovers and protects financial and email access.
• Urgency deadline — This is a countdown that demands immediate action or payment. It is designed to block outside input and keep the target from checking facts.
• Video call reality check — This is a live, clear video chat that matches photos and story details. Repeated refusal, loops, or poor syncing increase the likelihood of a scam.
• Well-being for the teen — This is the teen’s plan for rest, meals, movement, and support while helping the mother. Self-care protects the helper from burnout and trauma.