Last Updated on by SCARS Editorial Team
SCARSSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS.™ Guide: How To Interrogate Someone You Suspect Of Being A ScammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer.
Once You Begin To Suspect You Are Being Scammed Do Not Confront The Scammer That You Suspect
Confronting the scammer is pointless – in fact, it can harm you.
Instead, take some time and confirm it properly through the same interrogation techniques used by the U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation
First, do not confront the scammer. Let them continue to believe that you are not suspicious. This will keep their guard down.
Why Is This Important?
How you end a socially engineered relationship scamRelationship Scam A Relationship Scam is a one-to-one criminal act that involves a trust relationship and uses deception & manipulation to get a victim to give to the criminal something of value, such as money! Click here to learn more: What Is A Relationship Scam? matters for your own emotional state once you finally end the fake relationship. Having a clear confirmation in your own mind is a bit like catching a cheating spouse – no doubt, no arguments, no excuses – you just know and can leave with your head held high.
Do Not Confront
If you try to confront the scammer there will be one of four outcomes, and all them will leave you more traumatized:
- The scammer denies the suspicion, act wounded and hurt, and accuses you of bad faith – unfounded jealousy or other instability on your part.
This is a manipulative technique designed to make you doubt your suspicion – the is a form of GaslightingGaslighting Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group creates the seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment. It may evoke changes in them such as cognitive dissonance or low self-esteem, rendering the victim additionally dependent on the gaslighter for emotional support and validation. Using denial, misdirection, contradiction, and disinformation, gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's beliefs. Once in this state the criminal can then more easily control the victim for their own purposes. Instances can range from the denial by a scammer that a scam has occurred, to belittling the victim's emotions and feelings, to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. The goal of gaslighting is to gradually undermine the victim's confidence in their own ability to distinguish truth from falsehood, right from wrong, or reality from delusion, thereby rendering the individual or group pathologically dependent on the gaslighter for their thinking and feelings.. The scammer will claim you are at fault and exclaim their own injury to cause as much guilt as possible. This will be significantly more traumatizing that you need.
- The scammer will simply disconnect and blockBlock Blocking is a technical action usually on social media or messaging platforms that restricts or bans another profile from seeing or communicating with your profile. To block someone on social media, you can usually go to their profile and select it from a list of options - often labeled or identified with three dots ••• you – giving you total silence.
This is not so much a form of manipulation as it is futility. Scammers do not waste time on victims (“clients”) that will not provide any more money. So in these case they just end it instantly, leaving you in confusion and doubt about what just happened. This will leave you with doubt and guilt – asking yourself if he was or was not a scammer, and if he didn’t simply want away because of your accusation.
- The scammer explodes in angerAnger Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, trigger, hurt or threat. About one-third of scam victims become trapped in anger for extended periods of time following a scam.
A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion that triggers a part of the fight or flight response. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically.
Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. While most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of "what has happened to them", psychologists point out that an angry person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in self-monitoring capacity and objective observability. at you.
In this case, the scammer explodes in a lengthy stream of verbal abuse. Their intent is to beat you down in the ground. Some victims after having been verbally abused in this way will send more money to the scammer just like an abused spouse will continue to in a relationship out of fear of losing it.
- The scammer threatens the victim.
In these cases, the scammer converts into the psychopath they are and threaten the victim, their family, and friends. Threats can be anything from physical harm to sextortion or other blackmail. The scammers know how to push the victim’s buttons and are expert in making threats that sound very real. Of course, the threats are meaningless, but never the less the traumaTrauma Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. Psychological trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away. It can also leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people. Traumatic experiences often involve a threat to life or safety or other emotional shocks, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can result in trauma, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm. It’s not the objective circumstances that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized. Trauma requires treatment, either through counseling or therapy or through trauma-oriented support programs, such as those offered by SCARS. that a victim feels and the fear it causes is very real.
How It Interrogate Your Scammer
Almost sounds like a movie?
Here Are The Basics According To The FBIFBI FBI - Federal Bureau of Investigation The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is the domestic intelligence and security service of the United States and its principal federal law enforcement agency. Operating under the jurisdiction of the United States Department of Justice, the FBI is also a member of the U.S. Intelligence Community and reports to both the Attorney General and the Director of National Intelligence. A leading U.S. counter-terrorism, counterintelligence, and criminal investigative organization, the FBI has jurisdiction over violations of more than 200 categories of federal crimes, including financial fraud.:
- Build Rapport
- Experience shows that “good cop” typically gets better results than “bad cop”
- Come across as empathetic in conversation, and you’ll get the person to open up more than when you are cold and accusatory
- Of course, you already have this due to the “relationship” but be careful not to appear aggressive in your conversations
- Surprise The Scammer
- You are going to be asking questions that will come as a surprise to the scammer – not an inquisition – just surprising
- A deceptive person will try to anticipate your questions so that their answers sound instinctive and natural
- They may even practice answering specific questions ahead of time
- Ask them something they don’t expect, and they’ll stumble
- Suggestions for this include their personal history that has not been discussed before – or other things that you think the scammer should really know
- Remember the answers so that you can ask them again on a different day – look for different answers
- Listen More Than You Speak
- Liars tend to speak more than truthful people in an attempt to sound legitimate and win over their audience – of course, real people do this too – some people just have a lot to say
- They will also use more complex sentences to hide the truth.
- Be wary of the following:
- Stress usually makes people speak faster
- Stressed persons often talk louder
- Cracking in the natural tone of voice usually occurs at the point of deception – this only works if you have a voice call
- Repetitive coughing and clearing the throat are signs of tension – there are similar clues in chatting too
- This isn’t to say that a conversation partner who does one or more of the above is lying to you, but if you witness these actions, proceed with caution
- Pay Attention To How They Say “No
- “No” is a keyword to observe if your suspect is someone who is trying to mislead you
- A person is often demonstrating deceptive behaviorBehavior
Behavior / Behavioral Actions
Otherwise known as habits, behavior or behavioral actions are strategies to help prevent online exploitation that target behavior, such as social engineering of victims. Changing your behavior is the ONLY effective means to reduce or prevent scams. when they:
- say “no” and look in a different direction;
- say “no” and close their eyes;
- say “no” after hesitating;
- say “noooooooo,” stretched over a long period of time;
- say “no” in a singsong manner.
- When Chatting Online Look For Pauses
- You know how long it takes to answer a question – look for longer than normal pauses – this could indicate that they are desperately thinking of an answer or it could mean they are chatting with multiple people at the same time
- Look For Changes In Phrasing Or Tone Of Speech – Either Spoken Or Written
- As said before liars practice their lies, but in the case of scammers they have scripts
- If the conversation switches into a script the grammar and spelling may change
- If your chats a casual then look for a switch to more formal language
- Also look for spelling changes (not typos, but English to American or vice versa for example)
- Watch For Changes In Behavior
- A subtle change in a person’s deportment can be a strong sign of deception
- Look for changes in the speed of response when you are asking challenging questions and the way they reply
Just Remember That It Is Only To Be Suspicious Of Someone You Have Only Known Online
A real person should both expect to have to prove they are real and be willing to answer random questions about any topic. A real person should be asking you the same kinds of questions.
In fact, if the other person is not probing every aspect of your life then it is a clear sign that they are either just not all that into you or they are a fake!
Fakes online is a fact of life and real people have to be willing to go the extra step to prove it. A real person will not be offended or evade your odd or random questions, so do not hesitate.
If You Are Contemplating A Real Relationship With Someone, You Need To Know Them Thoroughly
NOTE: Once you know you are being scammed – cut off the scammer – leave them guessing. Never ScamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. Bait or play with the scammer.
Report them, then block them. The focus on your own emotional recovery.
PLEASE SHARE OUR ARTICLES WITH YOUR CONTACTS
HELP OTHERS STAY SAFE ONLINE
A SCARS Division
Miami Florida U.S.A.
CHAT WITH SCARS™ – CLICK HERE [icon name=”comment” class=”2x” unprefixed_class=”2x”]
TAGS: Online FraudFraud In law, fraud is intentional deception to secure unfair or unlawful gain (money or other assets), or to deprive a victim of a legal right. Fraud can violate civil law (e.g., a fraud victim may sue the fraud perpetrator to avoid the fraud or recover monetary compensation) or criminal law (e.g., a fraud perpetrator may be prosecuted and imprisoned by governmental authorities), or it may cause no loss of money, property, or legal right but still be an element of another civil or criminal wrong. The purpose of fraud may be monetary gain or other benefits, for example by obtaining a passport, travel document, or driver's license, or mortgage fraud, where the perpetrator may attempt to qualify for a mortgage by way of false statements. A fraud can also be a hoax, which is a distinct concept that involves deliberate deception without the intention of gain or of materially damaging or depriving a victim., Romance Scammer, Scammer Questioning, Scammer Interrogation, FBI, Guidance, SCARS Guide, Questions, Concerns, Confront, Confruntation,
– – –
Tell us about your experiences with Romance Scammers in our Scams Discussion Forum on Facebook »
– – –
FAQ: How Do You Properly Report Scammers?
It is essential that law enforcement knows about scamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. & scammers, even though there is nothing (in most cases) that they can do.
Always report scams involving money lost or where you received money to:
- Local Police – ask them to take an “informational” police report – say you need it for your insurance
- Your National Police or FBI (www.IC3.gov »)
- The SCARS|CDN™ Cybercriminal Data Network – Worldwide Reporting Network HERE » or on www.Anyscam.com »
This helps your government understand the problem, and allows law enforcement to add scammers on watch lists worldwide.
– – –
Visit our NEW Main SCARS Facebook page for much more information about scams and online crime: www.facebook.com/SCARS.News.And.Information »
To learn more about SCARS visit www.AgainstScams.org
Please be sure to report all scammers HERE » or on www.Anyscam.com »
All original content is Copyright © 1991 – 2020 SCARS All Rights Reserved Worldwide & Webwide. Third-party copyrights acknowledge.
SCARS, RSN, Romance Scams Now, SCARS|WORLDWIDE, SCARS|GLOBAL, SCARS, Society of Citizens Against Relationship ScamsSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS., Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams, SCARS|ANYSCAM, Project Anyscam, Anyscam, SCARS|GOFCH, GOFCH, SCARS|CHINA, SCARS|CDN, SCARS|UK, SCARS Cybercriminal Data Network, Cobalt Alert, Scam Victims Support GroupSupport Group In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers., are all trademarks of Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated.
Contact the law firm for the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated by email at legal@AgainstScams.org