Last Updated on by SCARS Editorial Team

SCARSSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit to learn more about SCARS.™ Guide: How To Interrogate Someone You Suspect Of Being A ScammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer.

Once You Begin To Suspect You Are Being Scammed Do Not Confront The Scammer That You Suspect

Confronting the scammer is pointless – in fact, it can harm you.

Instead, take some time and confirm it properly through the same interrogation techniques used by the U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation


First, do not confront the scammer. Let them continue to believe that you are not suspicious. This will keep their guard down.

Why Is This Important?

How you end a socially engineered relationship scamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. matters for your own emotional state once you finally end the fake relationship. Having a clear confirmation in your own mind is a bit like catching a cheating spouse – no doubt, no arguments, no excuses – you just know and can leave with your head held high.

Do Not Confront

If you try to confront the scammer there will be one of four outcomes, and all them will leave you more traumatized:

  1. The scammer denies the suspicion, act wounded and hurt, and accuses you of bad faith – unfounded jealousy or other instability on your part.
    This is a manipulative technique designed to make you doubt your suspicion – the is a form of GaslightingGaslighting Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group creates the seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment. It may evoke changes in them such as cognitive dissonance or low self-esteem, rendering the victim additionally dependent on the gaslighter for emotional support and validation. Using denial, misdirection, contradiction, and disinformation, gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's beliefs. Once in this state the criminal can then more easily control the victim for their own purposes. Instances can range from the denial by a scammer that a scam has occurred, to belittling the victim's emotions and feelings, to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. The goal of gaslighting is to gradually undermine the victim's confidence in their own ability to distinguish truth from falsehood, right from wrong, or reality from delusion, thereby rendering the individual or group pathologically dependent on the gaslighter for their thinking and feelings.. The scammer will claim you are at fault and exclaim their own injury to cause as much guilt as possible. This will be significantly more traumatizing that you need.
  2. The scammer will simply disconnect and blockBlock Blocking is a technical action usually on social media or messaging platforms that restricts or bans another profile from seeing or communicating with your profile. To block someone on social media, you can usually go to their profile and select it from a list of options - often labeled or identified with three dots ••• you – giving you total silence.
    This is not so much a form of manipulation as it is futility. Scammers do not waste time on victims (“clients”) that will not provide any more money. So in these case they just end it instantly, leaving you in confusion and doubt about what just happened. This will leave you with doubt and guilt – asking yourself if he was or was not a scammer, and if he didn’t simply want away because of your accusation.
  3. The scammer explodes in