Why Do Some Scam Victims Hate Themselves?
Self-Hatred Is Common After A Relationship Scam
It is common for people who have been scammed to feel a range of emotions, including anger, frustration, and self-blame.
It is understandable that someone who has been scammed may feel upset with themselves for not recognizing the scam or for making a decision that led to the scam occurring, even though it is actually not their fault. However, it is important to remember that being a victim of a scam does not reflect on a person’s worth or intelligence. Scammers are skilled at manipulating people and often use sophisticated techniques to deceive their victims. It is important for victims to recognize that they are not to blame for the scam and to try to let go of any feelings of self-blame or self-hatred.
What Does It Mean When Someone Hates Themself – When They Have Self-Hatred?
Hating oneself, also known as self-hatred, is a strong and persistent negative feeling towards oneself. It can manifest in a variety of ways, including feelings of inadequacy, shame, and self-loathing. Self-hatred can be caused by a range of factors, including negative experiences, trauma, and internalized negative beliefs about oneself. It can lead to a range of negative emotions and behaviors, such as depression, anxiety, self-harm, and difficulty in relationships – it can even lead to suicide.
Self-hatred can be a destructive and harmful complex of emotions, and it is important for people who are experiencing self-hatred to seek help and support to overcome it. This may include seeking the support of a mental health professional (see here), a professionally managed support group (see here), engaging in self-care activities, and working to challenge negative beliefs about oneself.
It is important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and that it is normal to have negative thoughts and feelings from time to time. It is important to be kind and understanding towards yourself and to recognize that we are all worthy of love and respect.
What Brings On Self-Loathing In Crime Victims?
There are many factors that can contribute to self-loathing in crime victims. Some common reasons may include:
- Feeling helpless or powerless: Being a victim of a crime can leave a person feeling vulnerable and out of control. This can lead to feelings of self-loathing, as the victim may blame themselves for not being able to prevent the crime from occurring.
- Shame or stigma: Some victims may feel ashamed of what happened to them or may worry about being judged or ostracized by others. This can lead to self-loathing as the victim internalizes these negative feelings.
- Guilt: It is common for victims to feel guilty about something related to the crime, even if they had no control over it. For example, a victim of a robbery may feel guilty for not having locked their doors or for having valuable items in their home.
- Trauma: Experiencing a crime can be a traumatic event, and it is common for victims to experience negative emotions such as self-loathing as they try to cope with the trauma.
It is important for victims of crime to recognize that they are not to blame for what happened to them and to seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional to help them cope with their emotions and move forward.
What Is The Psychological Base For Self-Hatred?
Self-hatred can have a range of psychological bases, and the specific cause can vary from person to person. Some common psychological factors that may contribute to self-hatred include:
- Negative experiences: Past experiences, such as trauma, abuse, or neglect, can lead to negative beliefs about oneself and contribute to self-hatred.
- Internalized negative beliefs: People who struggle with self-hatred may have internalized negative beliefs about themselves, such as believing that they are unworthy or unlovable. These negative beliefs can be reinforced by negative experiences or by negative messages from others.
- Perfectionism: People who are perfectionists may be particularly prone to self-hatred, as they may have unrealistic expectations for themselves and may be critical of their own mistakes or perceived shortcomings.
- Lack of self-worth: People who struggle with low self-worth may be more prone to self-hatred, as they may have difficulty valuing and accepting themselves.
- Mental health issues: Some mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, or personality disorders, can contribute to self-hatred.
- Failure to act: We find that an underlying reason for many victims is the fact that they never reported the crime and feel a sense of responsibility to future victims because they did not. Ironically, this is easy to address by calling the local police and reporting the crime.
- Cognitive biases: Many victims feel that they saw the red flags but did not act. Actually, they did not, but their mind trying to code fills in details that do not actually exist (see Hindsight Bias). By learning about the Psychology of Scams, victims can better understand how these crimes work and what control they actually had – virtually none!
It is important to recognize that self-hatred is a complex emotion that can be influenced by a range of psychological and social factors.
Transference
Is Self-hatred A Kind Of Transference In Crime Victims Of Hate From The Criminal Onto Themselves?
It is possible that self-hatred in crime victims may be related to transference, which is the process of transferring feelings or emotions from one person or situation to another. In this context, transference may involve transferring feelings of hate or anger towards the perpetrator of the crime onto oneself. This can happen when a victim feels overwhelmed by the negative emotions they are experiencing and is unable to directly express their anger or hatred towards the perpetrator. As a result, the victim may turn these feelings inward, leading to self-hatred.
It is important to note that self-hatred in crime victims can have a range of causes and may not always be related to transference. Other factors, such as negative experiences, internalized negative beliefs, and mental health issues, may also contribute to self-hatred.
How can a person recognize they are transferring emotions or feelings?
There are a few signs that a person may be transferring emotions or feelings from one person or situation to another:
- Unusual intensity: If you feel an unusually strong emotional response to a person or situation, it may be a sign that you are transferring emotions from another person or situation onto the current situation.
- Disproportionate reaction: If your emotional response to a situation seems disproportionate to the situation itself, it may be a sign of transference. For example, if you feel extremely angry or upset about a minor disagreement, it may be a sign that you are transferring unresolved anger from another situation onto the current situation.
- Unfamiliar emotions: If you feel emotions that seem out of character or unfamiliar, it may be a sign that you are transferring emotions from another person or situation.
- Unresolved emotions: If you have unresolved emotions related to a past event or relationship, it is possible that you may be transferring these emotions onto current situations or relationships.
If you think you may be transferring emotions or feelings, it can be helpful to take a step back and try to identify the underlying cause.
What Effects Does Self-hatred Or Self-loathing Have On Crime Victims?
Self-hatred or self-loathing can have a range of negative effects on crime victims. Some possible effects may include:
- Depression: Self-hatred can contribute to feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, which are common symptoms of depression.
- Anxiety: Self-hatred can lead to feelings of worry and fear, which can increase anxiety.
- Self-harm: Some people who struggle with self-hatred may engage in self-harm behaviors as a way to cope with their negative emotions.
- Difficulty in relationships: Self-hatred can lead to difficulty in relationships, as it may make it harder for a person to trust others or to feel worthy of love and affection.
- Decreased self-esteem: Self-hatred can lead to low self-esteem, as a person may believe that they are unworthy or unlovable.
Remember that it is normal to experience negative emotions after a traumatic event, but it is important to work towards healing and moving forward.
What Does Self-hatred Or Self-loathing Feel Like Inside Your Mind?
Self-hatred or self-loathing can manifest in different ways and can have a range of effects on a person’s thoughts and feelings. Some common experiences of self-hatred or self-loathing may include:
- Negative self-image: People who struggle with self-hatred or self-loathing may have a negative view of themselves and may believe that they are unworthy or unlovable.
- Shame: Self-hatred or self-loathing can lead to feelings of shame and embarrassment about oneself.
- Guilt: People who struggle with self-hatred or self-loathing may feel guilty about their actions or perceived shortcomings.
- Criticism: Self-hatred or self-loathing can lead to a critical inner voice that constantly criticizes and belittles oneself.
- Difficulty in relationships: Self-hatred or self-loathing can make it harder for a person to trust others and to feel worthy of love and affection, which can lead to difficulty in relationships.
Self-hatred or self-loathing can be a destructive and harmful emotion, get help and support to overcome this.
Is Self-hatred Ever Really Justified In A Crime Victim?
No, self-hatred is never justified in a crime victim.
Being a victim of a crime does not reflect on a person’s worth or intelligence, and it is important for victims to recognize that they are not to blame for what happened to them. Scammers and perpetrators of crimes are skilled at manipulating people and often use sophisticated techniques to deceive their victims. It is important for victims to let go of any feelings of self-blame or self-hatred and to focus on healing and moving forward.
It is understandable that crime victims may feel a range of negative emotions, including anger, frustration, and sadness. These emotions are a normal and natural response to a traumatic event. However, it is important for victims to recognize that they are not to blame for the crime and to try to let go of any feelings of self-hatred. Remember that you are worthy of love and respect and that it is important to take care of yourself and your well-being.
Should A Self-loathing Crime Victim Transfer Their Hate Back Onto The Criminal?
It is normal that crime victims may feel anger and hatred towards the perpetrator of the crime – the criminal.
These emotions are a natural response to a traumatic event and can be a normal part of the healing process. However, it is important for victims to recognize that transferring hate onto the perpetrator will not necessarily help them move forward or heal. In fact, focusing on hate and anger can be emotionally draining and may even prevent healing.
Instead of transferring hate onto the perpetrator, it is more helpful for crime victims to focus on self-care and on finding healthy ways to cope with their emotions. This may include seeking the support of a mental health professional, participating in a support group, engaging in self-care activities, and finding healthy ways to process and express emotions. It is also important for victims to recognize that they are not to blame for the crime and to let go of any feelings of self-hatred or self-blame.
It is understandable that crime victims may want to hold the perpetrator accountable for their actions. If you are a crime victim and want to seek justice, it can be helpful to seek the support of law enforcement or a legal advocate. Remember that you have the right to feel safe and to seek justice, and that it is important to take care of yourself and your well-being. However, do not try to take justice into your own hands, vigilantism is not the path to healing.
How Do You Overcome Self-Loathing?
Overcoming self-loathing or self-hatred can be a challenging process, and it may take time and effort to work through negative thoughts and feelings. Here are some strategies that may be helpful in overcoming self-loathing:
- Practice self-compassion: Instead of criticizing yourself, try to be kind and understanding towards yourself. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that it is normal to have negative thoughts and feelings.
- Seek support: It can be helpful to talk to a trusted friend or family member, or to seek the support of a mental health professional, or join a scam victims support group. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust can help you feel less alone and can provide a different perspective on your situation.
- Identify and challenge negative thoughts: Pay attention to negative thoughts you have about yourself, and try to challenge them. Ask yourself if the thought is true or if it is just a biased perspective.
- Practice gratitude: Focusing on the things you are grateful for can help shift your focus away from negative thoughts and feelings. Make a list of things you are grateful for, and try to focus on these things each day.
- Engage in self-care: Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally can help improve your overall well-being and reduce feelings of self-loathing. This can include activities such as exercising, getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.
- Engage in a therapeutic activity: SCARS recommends many such activities, from walking and running, to unstructured creativity – such as Lego Therapy.
Remember that overcoming self-loathing is a process and it may take time. It is important to be patient with yourself and to seek support if you need it.
Does Self-hatred Or Self-loathing Ever Just Go Away?
Self-hatred or self-loathing is a complex and persistent emotion, and it is not uncommon for it to take time and effort to overcome. However, with the right support and strategies, it is possible for self-hatred or self-loathing to improve and eventually go away.
Remember that overcoming self-hatred or self-loathing is a process and it may take time. It is important to be patient with yourself and to seek support if you need it. With the right support and strategies, it is possible to overcome self-hatred or self-loathing and improve your overall well-being.
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Table of Contents
- Recovering From Scams Is A Process
- Why Do Some Scam Victims Hate Themselves?
- Self-Hatred Is Common After A Relationship Scam
- What Does It Mean When Someone Hates Themself – When They Have Self-Hatred?
- What Brings On Self-Loathing In Crime Victims?
- What Is The Psychological Base For Self-Hatred?
- Transference
- What Effects Does Self-hatred Or Self-loathing Have On Crime Victims?
- What Does Self-hatred Or Self-loathing Feel Like Inside Your Mind?
- Is Self-hatred Ever Really Justified In A Crime Victim?
- Should A Self-loathing Crime Victim Transfer Their Hate Back Onto The Criminal?
- How Do You Overcome Self-Loathing?
- Does Self-hatred Or Self-loathing Ever Just Go Away?
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Important Information for New Scam Victims
- Please visit www.ScamVictimsSupport.org – a SCARS Website for New Scam Victims & Sextortion Victims
- Enroll in FREE SCARS Scam Survivor’s School now at www.SCARSeducation.org
- Please visit www.ScamPsychology.org – to more fully understand the psychological concepts involved in scams and scam victim recovery
If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org
If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
A Note About Labeling!
We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!
A Question of Trust
At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.
Statement About Victim Blaming
Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.
These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.
Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org
Psychology Disclaimer:
All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only
The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.
While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.
Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.
If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.
Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.










I did experience self-hatred for almost a year, although with less intensity as the months were passing by because I tried to have more positive internal dialogues. It was until I joined a SCARS support group and started the Survivor School that I was able to overcome self-hatred
I feel sorrow for those who hate themselves. The one person they are stuck with for the rest of their life.