Last Updated on by SCARS Editorial Team

RSN™ Editorial: Demanding Answers – Living In DenialDenial Denial is a refusal or unwillingness to accept something or to accept reality. Refusal to admit the truth or reality of something, refusal to acknowledge something unpleasant; And as a term of Psychology: denial is a defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality.

Some People Simply Cannot Accept That They Were Scammed

After a certain number of years supporting victims we have learned to recognize those victims that refuse to believe. Many of you have family and friends that are also this way.

They present almost no information and then challenge you to prove that their “person” is a scammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer..

Unfortunately, there are estimated to be over a billion fake identities in use – certainly hundreds of million. Given that victims report less than 5% of scammers, it is actually unlikely that any given scammer name will be in a database. Therefore we base our opinions on our nearly three decades of experience.  When you are given the basics of the scammer’s story the red flags are usually obvious. This would allow a rational person to identify a scammer with a reasonable certainty, and given the risks, any probability of the person being a scammer far out weights the potential value of continuing a relationship – regardless of the emotions.

However, there is a steady stream of victims who demand answers. They expect that we or law enforcement will run off to Africa and investigate the matter. Sadly, what this is really about is living in denial. Essentially saying that they will not believe anything unless to provide proof that it is a scamScam A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime -  is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost.. Except that you can’t prove something doesn’t exist by the lack of evidence. If you believe it does, then that is what you believe. Showing fake names and photos used by other scammers will not register as proof that your “person” is a scammer. It is simply denialDenial Denial is a refusal or unwillingness to accept something or to accept reality. Refusal to admit the truth or reality of something, refusal to acknowledge something unpleasant; And as a term of Psychology: denial is a defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality..

RSN is funded to perform specific missions. One of those is to provide support to the maximum number of scam victims that we can. That means that we have to make decisions every day about where and on whom we spend time and resources. We receive almost 1,000 support or information requests a day, and that means we cannot get “down in the weeds” on every scammer proof request. We give an assessment based upon what we see and hear, we have to move on to the next victim. While that may be harsh, it is what is necessary to help the maximum number possible.

There are some who simply will not accept our professional opinion and want to argue the point. This is not really about getting to the truth, it is about that to accept the truth would destroy the illusion they are living in. To accept that they have been scammed would expose the delusion they have about the scammer and the fantasy relationship they live in now. This is denial.

When we discover someone like this we make a decision to provide the information and leave it to the victim to accept it or not. We cannot force them to accept our opinion, and we do not try to force them. Each person has to come to their own realization in time.

We want to present an exchange that has been going on with one such victim.

This victim threw out a name and a little of the story. We have heard the story before, it is a variation on the West African Emergency Scam – the fact that we have a name for it should tell you we have seen its variations countless times. Unless we have seen that name before, it is meaningless. We go by the overall information to make a decision then share that with the victim – if they will accept it. In this case, the victim refuses to accept it and challenges our support staff member’s every word.

Here is a transcript of our chat with the victim in our various page and post comments.

Please note: this is not presented to shameShame Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self; withdrawal motivations; and feelings of distress, exposure, mistrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness. or blameBlame Blame or Blaming is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong, their action is blameworthy. By contrast, when someone is morally responsible for doing something right, we may say that his or her action is praiseworthy. Blame imparts responsibility for an action or act, as in that they made a choice to perform that act or action. the victim, rather it is a lesson that others can learn from and is presented so that others may recognize their own denial.

CHAT BETWEEN THE VICTIM AND OUR STAFF:

Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/16 at 3:32 pm – How can I find out a