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RSN™ Editorial: Demanding Answers – Living In Denial
Some People Simply Cannot Accept That They Were Scammed
After a certain number of years supporting victims we have learned to recognize those victims that refuse to believe. Many of you have family and friends that are also this way.
They present almost no information and then challenge you to prove that their “person” is a scammer.
Unfortunately, there are estimated to be over a billion fake identities in use – certainly hundreds of million. Given that victims report less than 5% of scammers, it is actually unlikely that any given scammer name will be in a database. Therefore we base our opinions on our nearly three decades of experience. When you are given the basics of the scammer’s story the red flags are usually obvious. This would allow a rational person to identify a scammer with a reasonable certainty, and given the risks, any probability of the person being a scammer far out weights the potential value of continuing a relationship – regardless of the emotions.
However, there is a steady stream of victims who demand answers. They expect that we or law enforcement will run off to Africa and investigate the matter. Sadly, what this is really about is living in denial. Essentially saying that they will not believe anything unless to provide proof that it is a scam. Except that you can’t prove something doesn’t exist by the lack of evidence. If you believe it does, then that is what you believe. Showing fake names and photos used by other scammers will not register as proof that your “person” is a scammer. It is simply denial.
RSN is funded to perform specific missions. One of those is to provide support to the maximum number of scam victims that we can. That means that we have to make decisions every day about where and on whom we spend time and resources. We receive almost 1,000 support or information requests a day, and that means we cannot get “down in the weeds” on every scammer proof request. We give an assessment based upon what we see and hear, we have to move on to the next victim. While that may be harsh, it is what is necessary to help the maximum number possible.
There are some who simply will not accept our professional opinion and want to argue the point. This is not really about getting to the truth, it is about that to accept the truth would destroy the illusion they are living in. To accept that they have been scammed would expose the delusion they have about the scammer and the fantasy relationship they live in now. This is denial.
When we discover someone like this we make a decision to provide the information and leave it to the victim to accept it or not. We cannot force them to accept our opinion, and we do not try to force them. Each person has to come to their own realization in time.
We want to present an exchange that has been going on with one such victim.
This victim threw out a name and a little of the story. We have heard the story before, it is a variation on the West African Emergency Scam – the fact that we have a name for it should tell you we have seen its variations countless times. Unless we have seen that name before, it is meaningless. We go by the overall information to make a decision then share that with the victim – if they will accept it. In this case, the victim refuses to accept it and challenges our support staff member’s every word.
Here is a transcript of our chat with the victim in our various page and post comments.
Please note: this is not presented to shame or blame the victim, rather it is a lesson that others can learn from and is presented so that others may recognize their own denial.
CHAT BETWEEN THE VICTIM AND OUR STAFF:
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/16 at 3:32 pm – How can I find out about a police officer by the name of Angel Louis Matey, he was to help my husband get to the airport but he got robbed when getting the funds from the bank
- RSN Staff Reply – What you have described is a typical scam scenario. Do not believe a word. Forget this person and move on with your life. If you want to confirm your “policeman” identity you can contact the Ghanaian embassy. Given the corruption in that country’s government, you are unlikely to get a confirmation. Best of luck in your search.
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/16 at 3:53 pm – Hello can you please reply to my comment
- RSN Staff Reply – You are being scammed. What would you like us to reply? We understand you want your scammer caught. Every victim wants that. But it is not realistic. Take a look at our Guide On What To Expect https://www.romancescamsnow.com/dating-scams/rsn-guide-what-can-you-expect-after-a-scam/
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/18 at 2:48 pm – So how can I find out about a person who says he is a police officer for the Ghana police force, he goes by the name of:: Angel Louis Matey and is there a photo of him
- RSN Staff Reply – We do not maintain a database of Ghana policeman. You can contact the Ghanaian embassy to verify that.
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/18 at 4:08 pm – So can you tell me if there is a real photo of the police officer by the name of Angel Louis Matey on the Ghana police in Accra, Ghana
- RSN Staff Reply – No we cannot. You should Stop. Report, Block, and Move On! You are welcome to waste money on a private investigator in Ghana, who will probably be affiliated with the scammers anyway. Why can’t you accept that it was a scam and move on?
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/18 at 9:15 pm – So stop, report and move on means what? I asked a question about a photo of a police officer,so does that mean it don’t exist or what
- RSN Staff Reply – It means that there are hundreds of millions of fake identities online. All you have is a fake name. We receive over 1,000 victim contacts a day. The answer is no there is not a photo of the fake policeman. Our reply meant to stop obsessing over the fake identities, and focus on your own emotional recovery. You are obviously angry. Anger is a trap that prevents you from getting the help you need. Your money is gone, the identities you have are fake. You have to accept that as a FACT. What alternatives do you have then? We wish there were choices, but they are only to continue to obsess or to move forward to recover.
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/19 at 1:08 pm – So I get it that you have many thousands of scammers, but is the police officer I mentioned in on the scams
- RSN Staff Reply – There is likely no police officer, this is just a part of the story you are being told. Why are continuing to argue about the point? You call him a police officer, but he is just another scammer. Another fake name used by the scamming cartel that is running your scam. We are not able to offer you a photo.
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/20 at 10:10 am – Ok thank you for your reply back to me, any additional information you have I would like to have
- RSN Staff Reply – Our assessment is based upon knowledge of hundreds of thousands of scams run out of West Africa. Not by sending an investigator in as you seem to expect us to. We are sorry but no one has the resources to do that for every name. Additionally, you have provided nothing other than names. There are just too many fake names in use. That fact that your one name is not in a database means it just hasn’t been reported by someone else. The things you are describing are clearly a scam.
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/25 at 2:02 pm – I would like to know if there is a Henry Bannerman from Texas still there in Accra, Ghana and he says he was working on a concrete job for a foundation to put up an electrical plant on. And he was detained 2 times in June 2018 for his work visa being outdated and being robbed at gunpoint in July 2018 as soon as he left the bank. And that the police are conducting an investigation but doesn’t know anything yet, can you confirm any of this for me
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/30 at 2:38 pm – Can you tell me if there is a man by the name of Henry Bannerman being detained by Accra, Ghana police. He is supposed to be from Texas, USA
- RSN Staff Reply – You are being scammed. This is obvious to us. In most cases the scam fits into a model and we base the decision on that.
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/31 at 4:38 pm – How can I find out the information you just found out about these scammers
- RSN Staff Reply – Take the time to learn their methods, techniques – in short how these scammers work. You can’t become expert in a complex subject with a single question.
Victim’s Comment – 2018/08/04 at 5:44 pm – How can I find out the list of scammers that you refer too
- RSN Staff Reply – For now, use our menus. When we turn on the display of our database back on this month you will be able to search.
Victim’s Comment – 2018/08/05 at 4:59 pm – I would like to know if Henry Bannerman is a scammer and how did you find this out. He is in Accra, Ghana and is a friend of a Person by the name of Angel Louis Matey. Please tell me how to find out this information is a scam or not. Also don’t just say I am being scammed, send me a link to where I can see this for myself
- RSN Staff Reply – You are obviously skeptical about our information. Too bad you are not as skeptical about your scammer. We are not private detectives. Additionally, you have given us almost nothing but a name. We are here to educate as many people as possible about scams, scammers, and their techniques. We do not have the time, money or resources to track down individual scammers because you demand it. We have given you our opinion. You are welcome to hire a private detective if you want but are unlikely to get the truth since they typically get paid more by the scammers in their country. You can believe what we are saying or not, that is your choice. We have decades of experience that allows us to identify scammers rapidly, you do not. If you want to acquire the expertise that our professionals have then put in the time yourself. There are nearly 1 billion fake identities in use, 400 million fake profiles on Facebook, and you demand that we respond with time and resources on your name? We are here to help the largest number of people we can, not respond to someone living in denial demanding proof. You are welcome to spend your money on your own personal investigation if you wish. Neither we nor law enforcement has the resources to do that right now. That is all the time we can spend on this. We have given you the courtesy of a lengthy reply, but we cannot help you further given your state of mind.
What do you think? Please share your onion with us?
RSN Managing Director
a division of the Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams [SCARS]
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FAQ: How Do You Properly Report Scammers?
It is essential that law enforcement knows about scams & scammers, even though there is nothing (in most cases) that they can do.
Always report scams involving money lost or where you received money to:
- Local Police – ask them to take an “informational” police report – say you need it for your insurance
- Your National Police or FBI (www.IC3.gov)
- The Scars Worldwide Reporting Network HERE or on www.Anyscam.com
This helps your government understand the problem, and allows law enforcement to add scammers on watch lists worldwide.
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Visit our Main RSN Facebook page for much more information about scams and online crime: www.facebook.com/SCARS.Victims.Support.And.Recovery
To learn more about SCARS visit www.AgainstScams.org
Please be sure to report all scammers HERE or on www.Anyscam.com
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