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RSN™ Editorial: Demanding Answers – Living In Denial
Some People Simply Cannot Accept That They Were Scammed
After a certain number of years supporting victims we have learned to recognize those victims that refuse to believe. Many of you have family and friends that are also this way.
They present almost no information and then challenge you to prove that their “person” is a scammer.
Unfortunately, there are estimated to be over a billion fake identities in use – certainly hundreds of million. Given that victims report less than 5% of scammers, it is actually unlikely that any given scammer name will be in a database. Therefore we base our opinions on our nearly three decades of experience. When you are given the basics of the scammer’s story the red flags are usually obvious. This would allow a rational person to identify a scammer with a reasonable certainty, and given the risks, any probability of the person being a scammer far out weights the potential value of continuing a relationship – regardless of the emotions.
However, there is a steady stream of victims who demand answers. They expect that we or law enforcement will run off to Africa and investigate the matter. Sadly, what this is really about is living in denial. Essentially saying that they will not believe anything unless to provide proof that it is a scam. Except that you can’t prove something doesn’t exist by the lack of evidence. If you believe it does, then that is what you believe. Showing fake names and photos used by other scammers will not register as proof that your “person” is a scammer. It is simply denial.
RSN is funded to perform specific missions. One of those is to provide support to the maximum number of scam victims that we can. That means that we have to make decisions every day about where and on whom we spend time and resources. We receive almost 1,000 support or information requests a day, and that means we cannot get “down in the weeds” on every scammer proof request. We give an assessment based upon what we see and hear, we have to move on to the next victim. While that may be harsh, it is what is necessary to help the maximum number possible.
There are some who simply will not accept our professional opinion and want to argue the point. This is not really about getting to the truth, it is about that to accept the truth would destroy the illusion they are living in. To accept that they have been scammed would expose the delusion they have about the scammer and the fantasy relationship they live in now. This is denial.
When we discover someone like this we make a decision to provide the information and leave it to the victim to accept it or not. We cannot force them to accept our opinion, and we do not try to force them. Each person has to come to their own realization in time.
We want to present an exchange that has been going on with one such victim.
This victim threw out a name and a little of the story. We have heard the story before, it is a variation on the West African Emergency Scam – the fact that we have a name for it should tell you we have seen its variations countless times. Unless we have seen that name before, it is meaningless. We go by the overall information to make a decision then share that with the victim – if they will accept it. In this case, the victim refuses to accept it and challenges our support staff member’s every word.
Here is a transcript of our chat with the victim in our various page and post comments.
Please note: this is not presented to shame or blame the victim, rather it is a lesson that others can learn from and is presented so that others may recognize their own denial.
CHAT BETWEEN THE VICTIM AND OUR STAFF:
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/16 at 3:32 pm – How can I find out about a police officer by the name of Angel Louis Matey, he was to help my husband get to the airport but he got robbed when getting the funds from the bank
- RSN Staff Reply – What you have described is a typical scam scenario. Do not believe a word. Forget this person and move on with your life. If you want to confirm your “policeman” identity you can contact the Ghanaian embassy. Given the corruption in that country’s government, you are unlikely to get a confirmation. Best of luck in your search.
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/16 at 3:53 pm – Hello can you please reply to my comment
- RSN Staff Reply – You are being scammed. What would you like us to reply? We understand you want your scammer caught. Every victim wants that. But it is not realistic. Take a look at our Guide On What To Expect https://www.romancescamsnow.com/dating-scams/rsn-guide-what-can-you-expect-after-a-scam/
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/18 at 2:48 pm – So how can I find out about a person who says he is a police officer for the Ghana police force, he goes by the name of:: Angel Louis Matey and is there a photo of him
- RSN Staff Reply – We do not maintain a database of Ghana policeman. You can contact the Ghanaian embassy to verify that.
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/18 at 4:08 pm – So can you tell me if there is a real photo of the police officer by the name of Angel Louis Matey on the Ghana police in Accra, Ghana
- RSN Staff Reply – No we cannot. You should Stop. Report, Block, and Move On! You are welcome to waste money on a private investigator in Ghana, who will probably be affiliated with the scammers anyway. Why can’t you accept that it was a scam and move on?
Victim’s Comment – 2018/07/18 at 9:15 pm – So stop, report and move on means what? I asked a question about a photo of a police officer,so does that mean it don’t exist or what
- RSN Staff Reply – It means that there are hundreds of millions of fake identities online. All you have is a fake name. We receive over 1,000 victim contacts a day. The answer is no