International Relationships Are Dead! Facebook Is To Blame!

International Relationships Are Dead!
Facebook Is To Blame!

Making The Internet Safer!

A SCARS Commentary

International Relationships Are Dead!

It Is No Longer Safe To Contemplate A Long-Distance Relationship!

One of the amazing things about the Internet was how it allowed us to connect with amazing people around the world. This was one of the blessings of online dating also, and in fact Facebook as well. You could connect and make friends the world over.

Now fast forward to 2021 and the Internet is a dangerous place filled with fake people, haters, stalkers, pervs, terrorists, drug dealers, human traffickers, and of course scammers.

We All Have Effectively Destroyed The Environment That Offered So Much Promise

How did this happen?

It started with an attitude. A left-leaning view that everyone is wonderful and that we can all live together in this globalized world in peace and harmony. This was simple insanity.

The world is full of scary people – criminals, terrorists, human traffickers, slavers, scammers, and much worse.

Internet social media providers such as Facebook, Twitter, and others simply did not care about your safety. They believed that the more profiles (members) they had the better it was – this allowed them to display more ads and make more money. The bigger the better it was for their valuation.

The only exception was LinkedIn who has always done a fair job of policing its space.

It really started with MySpace when the world discovered that MySpace was full of children (as young as 3 years old) having profiles on MySpace back in 2003-2004. What were those parents thinking? Was it any surprise that Pedophiles followed? The U.S. FTC went after them in a big way, imposed sanctions against them requiring that everything be reviewed and screened. This lead to the enactment of the COPPA law (Children’s Online Privacy & Protection Act) in the U.S. and similar laws elsewhere to protect Children online.

In fact, MySpace is under probation (monitoring) for 20 years because of all this!

Unfortunately, the situation is more regulated now, but actually less safe today than it was all those years ago!

Up until the end of 2016, the world governments have mostly turned a blind eye towards scammers and allowed them to grow astronomically large.

The Trump administration made huge improvements in the U.S. government’s focus on this, but with the change in administration, most of that has been lost.

The Failure oF Social Media!

Some estimate that 50% of all Facebook profiles are fake. Same for Twitter, the same for other social media. This is an industry-wide failure.

The notion that the community of users will police itself and report every fake is great if Facebook actually listens, but they don’t. They don’t because they have not trained their employees well enough to recognize fakes when they see them. They side with the fake or the scammer due to political correctness and apathy. In fact, if you report “too many” fakes you will be punished on Facebook as being a cyberbully.

The result is that if you are on Facebook you are substantially at risk. If you are on online dating, you are walking on the edge of disaster.

So What Is The Answer?

Ironically, the answer is very simple and it would take less than 90 days for all of the social media to implement.

This is known as the “SCARS Plan”:

1) With every profile, every post, every note, photo, etc. Use the log in IP Address of the person connected to display the COUNTRY and CITY a person is in when they post EVERY TIME. Scammers sometimes use proxy servers, but this will still show the inconsistency in their locations.

2) Do not allow a new profiles to specify a location, extract it from the IP address automatically, and make it permanently displayed publicly in the profile. Do not allow it to be changed more than once a year. This means we will know the REAL location of the person in every profile.

3) Every profile must provide proof of identity within 15 days from the date of the creation of the profile. And when they are sent, validate the profile – or display the profile as “Identity Not Confirmed”.

4) Make it much easier to verify the identity of people and businesses in social media. Many people use different names (nicknames) for their profiles, and companies use brands and DBAs all the time, Facebook and others must make it easier when verifying a page (regardless of the size of the business), same for profiles. This will not work for all countries, but where it does it will be a safer community and allow users to make decisions based upon it.

5) Use image recognition on Profile Photos to flag profiles that have profile photos used on other profiles – to help eliminate flakes and duplicate profiles. Use algorithms that periodically cycle through all profiles looking for this duplication. On all new profile photo uploads do a duplicate check.

6) Provide a much easier way to report scams and scammers online. Then carefully examine the profile for communications that show the scam behavior. This can be done using algorithms as the first line, then escalation if it fails. This will also help eliminate spam.

7) Work with the largest scammer databases (such as SCARS) to filter against profiles for scammer identification in all new and existing social media profiles.

If these things were done, over 97% of fakes would disappear in a matter of 3 to 4 months. It would also inhibit the creation of new fake profiles which number in the tens of millions each year.

Unfortunately, the social media industry is not embracing these types of changes and continues to allow anyone to create profiles, relying on us to report them and for us to hope they will listen to us.

But in the end, you simply cannot trust anyone online unless you physically know them, or have known them online over a very extended period of time. International friends are a fiction that few of us can afford anymore.

This is tragic in that this was the real promise of social media, but the reality has become a nightmare due to the failure of social media companies to employ proper common-sense safeguards.

Perhaps you can share this post by email with Facebook and maybe something will happen.

Encourage them to talk with SCARS (Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams) and implement the SCARS Plan now! They can reach us at

Send emails and calls to:

  • Jamil Walker, Corporate Communications Manager, Facebook, 650-785-5818;
  • AND Andrea Saul, Policy Communications Manager, Facebook 650-822-4089;

Who knows maybe they will listen if they get enough emails.

Tell Facebook what YOU think about your safety on Facebook and that the Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams ( has a plan to keep you safe!

Thank you for reading this!

-/ 30 /-

What do you think about this?
Please share your thoughts in a comment below!



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  1. sandra Cid March 8, 2018 at 9:00 pm - Reply

    I made a report to Cobalt Alert a few time ago about Bertram Offman. He sais he was a Major General from Afganistan with some big amount to send to Portugal. Of course, this amount never existed but I sent him left the delivery to me. The Facebook from the false Diplomat no longer exists on Facebook, and I delay as much as I could the sending the WU with the value to pay the clearance of that delivery. probably if have paid the clearance it was only a loss of money. because of the improbable Major General is so improbable as 15 Kg of money. But Dr. Chis said the Feds will be in touch with me if the clearance was not paid in time I answered immediately that the Feds and US Army will gonna talk immediately with Major General Bertram Offman, not with I will be just the receiver and he was the sender, he has the total responsibility for what inside of the package or box.

    In the Cobalt Alert Report, i think I have more details or other details. I made this report because I closed the major’s Facebook account today, and I thought Cobalt Alert made a report to this site because they don’t have the authorization to use images so they need the support from an Editorial Team. in any case I made a report of our conversation to the Facebook team.

  2. Holly February 18, 2018 at 10:47 pm - Reply

    I just don’t know if I’m being scammed there are red flags everywhere I have sent so much money I have blocked him so many times but then he finds me on Facebook I want to believe so badly that he isn’t scamming me someone please help me

    • Romance Scams Now Editorial Team February 19, 2018 at 12:24 am - Reply

      Sorry, but you ARE being scammed. At this stage you have three things to do: 1) Report Him, 2) Block him completely, and 3) Let us help you in one of our support groups – if you would like that just reply to this comment and we will invite you in.

      • Holly February 19, 2018 at 10:19 am - Reply

        I need help now he is asking for 1200 for lawyer to travel with gold he has I sénd money for food he can’t get money bc the military has froze his account so he can’t food and why when u block him he does everything possible to contact me I’m so confused

        • Romance Scams Now Editorial Team February 19, 2018 at 12:53 pm - Reply

          Holly, there is nothing to be confused about. You are being scammed. You need to stop all communication with the scammer. Block all means of contact NOW! We can’t help you while you are still in contact with your scammer.

          • Holly February 19, 2018 at 7:54 pm

            thank you for talking to me I have No one to talk to nobody knows about what happened to me I’m embarrassed

          • Holly February 22, 2018 at 10:30 pm

            I blocked everything fb what’s app texting I finally did it thank you for taking the time to talk to me it was over a year that this was going on so embarrassed and heart broken lesson learned

          • Romance Scams Now Editorial Team February 24, 2018 at 8:05 pm

            You are very welcome

        • sandra Cid March 8, 2018 at 9:22 pm - Reply

          I have seen similar movies, perhaps we are talking about the same person or not? one day he said he was chatting me from his late mom facebook but his words at that time don’t stay any longer in my head. I laugh will he is righting. he doesn’t ask me for money he asks me for funds!

  3. Tammy Truesdale February 16, 2018 at 9:47 am - Reply

    These are great ideas you have. Our government needs to hold all these websites that host these criminals to take finical sanctions against them so their victims can recover some of their lost. Also our government needs to hold money gram accountable too just like western union so many victims can recover there too. For myself the help is way too late, mentally, emotionally,and financially. By the time family and friends try to help me the damages was fully done. Daily and fight deep depression and find a positive reason to want to live. Daily I cry so hard and try to understand how this came happen to me. If it wasn’t for your website pages i probably would’ve committed suicide by now. It’s been months now and I’m still suffering from all of these things. Now I’m helping myself to get well and educating myself. I want nothing to do with Africans and that entire country should be on the terror list especially Ghana and Niagara. I don’t even socialize with the africans I do know anymore. They all think us good hearted wonderful Americans are stupid and smile in our faces then talk about us behind our backs. Good riddance to them all.

    • Romance Scams Now Editorial Team February 16, 2018 at 8:41 pm - Reply

      Tammy if you are on Facebook, we offer private secure scam victims’ assistance and support groups. Please message us on our main Facebook page and we will have one of our staff invite you into a group to help you. Our main FB page is at – We wish you all the best.

      • Herta Beaupuy February 17, 2018 at 11:06 am - Reply

        tammys unfortune is like mine, only I am in France and nobody will help me to recover the
        140 000 € I lost for following over several years a damned scammer with stolen photos, stolen US NAVY passport and lies, ever so clever.
        I am a 76 year old lady and having worked all my life, the money I had to complete my retirement and last years of life, is all gone, I am ruined and desperate. My bank account
        and apartment are at stake and I have nothing to live on. I am so angy with myself over
        my stupidy and credibility. I can’t tell anybody, have no friends and I am too ashamed to
        le my family know about my poor condition now.

        • Romance Scams Now Editorial Team February 17, 2018 at 8:09 pm - Reply

          Herta, sadly, there is no way to recover the money. Once the money has gone – it is unrecoverable. Sorry.

        • Romance Scams Now Editorial Team February 17, 2018 at 8:10 pm - Reply

          Also Herta, if you are on Facebook and would be interested in joining one of our Scam Victims’ Support Groups, we think you would find this helpful.

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