After A Scam Ends All Victims Need Validation!
Scam victims are disoriented, desperate, and unsure of everything. They need help to validate that they are the victim of a crime!
How To Help Them
The following will help friends and family members help victims by validating them!
This information can reassure survivors that you believe them and support them
Whether it’s your best friend, your sibling, a coworker, or a complete stranger who tells their story on the internet, hearing that someone is enduring or has endured A RELATIONSHIP SCAMRelationship Scam A Relationship Scam is a one-to-one criminal act that involves a trust relationship and uses deception & manipulation to get a victim to give to the criminal something of value, such as money! Click here to learn more: What Is A Relationship Scam? is never easy. But trust that for a survivorSurvivor A Scam Survivor is a victim who has been able to fully accept the reality of their situation. That they were the victim of a crime and are not to blame. They are working on their emotional recovery and reduction of any trauma either on their own, through a qualified support organization, or through counseling or therapy. And has done their duty and reported the crime to their local police, national police, and on Anyscam.com to break his or her silence and disclose that online abuse/violation is even tougher.
Even though relationship scamsRelationship Scam A Relationship Scam is a one-to-one criminal act that involves a trust relationship and uses deception & manipulation to get a victim to give to the criminal something of value, such as money! Click here to learn more: What Is A Relationship Scam? (romance scamsScams A Scam is a confidence trick - a crime - is an attempt to defraud a person or group after first gaining their trust through deception. Scams or confidence tricks exploit victims using their credulity, naïveté, compassion, vanity, irresponsibility, or greed and exploiting that. Researchers have defined confidence tricks as "a distinctive species of fraudulent conduct ... intending to further voluntary exchanges that are not mutually beneficial", as they "benefit con operators ('con men' - criminals) at the expense of their victims (the 'marks')". A scam is a crime even if no money was lost. & pig butcheringPig Butchering Sha Zhu Pan 殺主盤 “Pig Butchering” This is a scam type that originated in China involving the scammer developing a relationship with the victim - sometimes romantic sometimes not - and leading the victim to invest in a fake company or asset. These typically target smart younger women. scams, and others) are a worldwide epidemic — millions of individuals have or are experiencing this abuse from an online trusted person (a criminalCriminal A criminal is any person who through a decision or act engages in a crime. This can be complicated, as many people break laws unknowingly, however, in our context, it is a person who makes a decision to engage in unlawful acts or to place themselves with others who do this. A criminal always has the ability to decide not to break the law, or if they initially engage in crime to stop doing it, but instead continues.)—there are still cultural stigmas and misconceptions that stand in the way of scam survivors being heard, believed or helped.
This is what it means to be Validated!
Survivors Face Judgment
Status discrimination, for one, means that victims of online financial fraudFraud In law, fraud is intentional deception to secure unfair or unlawful gain (money or other assets), or to deprive a victim of a legal right. Fraud can violate civil law (e.g., a fraud victim may sue the fraud perpetrator to avoid the fraud or recover monetary compensation) or criminal law (e.g., a fraud perpetrator may be prosecuted and imprisoned by governmental authorities), or it may cause no loss of money, property, or legal right but still be an element of another civil or criminal wrong. The purpose of fraud may be monetary gain or other benefits, for example by obtaining a passport, travel document, or driver's license, or mortgage fraud, where the perpetrator may attempt to qualify for a mortgage by way of false statements. A fraud can also be a hoax, which is a distinct concept that involves deliberate deception without the intention of gain or of materially damaging or depriving a victim. are often stereotyped as being of a certain class, or from a certain income or education level. Such as: all scam victims are old and lonely, young and greedy, or just needy. That old, “That sort of thing can’t happen here, to me,” excuse is a person’s way of thinking they’re protected from these crimes when in fact, scam victims come from all walks of life, all income levels, all geographical areas (worldwide, even in Nigeria), all types of professions, all sorts of family backgrounds, all ages, all levels of intelligence. In fact, everyone can be scammed, and everyone will be scammed.
A Victim
The word victim itself can trap someone in the role of believing that they are passive, helpless, or weak. Many people, understandably, don’t want to label themselves as victims or be called victims. This is how the term “survivor” came to be the preferred term to describe someone who has endured these cases of fraud.
And then there is that belief by some, carried over from decades past, that these crimes are the victim’s fault, they should have somehow known better than to trust a stranger and send them money. This idea lays some/most of the blameBlame Blame or Blaming is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong, their action is blameworthy. By contrast, when someone is morally responsible for doing something right, we may say that his or her action is praiseworthy. Blame imparts responsibility for an action or act, as in that they made a choice to perform that act or action. for online/phone/email scams on the survivor, as though he or she has somehow played a part in the crime occurring. Even the police are sometimes guilty of believing this outdated idea. The whole blame is on the criminals that did this! No one else!
Let us be crystal clear, the only mistake a survivor made was in first saying hello! After that, the criminal’s expert groomingGrooming Grooming is a form of setting up a victim for a scam or other crime by befriending and establishing an emotional connection with the victim, and sometimes the family, to lower the victim's inhibitions with the objective of the scam or criminal activity. Grooming includes the development of a trust relationship between the criminal and the victim, getting the victims to the point where they can be more completely manipulated. , manipulation, and control took over!
Between these stigmas and the widespread victim-shaming that occurs on a regular basis, it’s no wonder survivors have a hard time stepping forward and speaking out when they experience this violation of their trust.
That’s why it’s up to those in their support circle: the mental healthcare professionals, victims’ assistance providers, advocates, their concerned friends and family members, and even law enforcement — to validate and believe survivors when we hear about these crimes.
Validate with Your Word
When someone comes forward with a confession of being a survivor of one of these crimes, or even lightly dances around the topic, perhaps afraid to fully admit what’s happened or happening to them, but still scared enough that it needs to be hinted at, it’s vital to listen. Actively listen, without judgment and blame! You could be that person’s only trusted lifeline.
Here are important responses you can give that show you believe in and support them. Sometimes, it’s important to say them all:
- “This is not your fault.”
- “Many other people are scammed by these criminals. You are not alone.”
- “You’re not alone. I’m here for you. Thank you for telling me.”
- “I’m so sorry those criminals did this to you.”
- “I believe you. This is a crime”
- “Nothing you did caused this. Crime is a choice these criminals made. You were just their target”
- “No one has the right to hurt you, no matter how greedy they are.”
- “You aren’t being dramatic. You have every right to feel what you feel.”
- “Your emotions are valid.”
- “There’s a way out of this. I can help you find resources.”
- “You are worthy and deserving of a safe and healthy life.”
After validating someone’s experience, you can refer them to resources to help them better understand these crimes and to show them there’s a safe way out. Start by encouraging them to talk to a trained professional such as SCARS, as well as a traumaTrauma Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. Psychological trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away. It can also leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people. Traumatic experiences often involve a threat to life or safety or other emotional shocks, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can result in trauma, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm. It’s not the objective circumstances that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized. Trauma requires treatment, either through counseling or therapy or through trauma-oriented support programs, such as those offered by SCARS. counselor — you can find one near you or through the SCARS partner BetterHelp.com or through these:
- www.opencounseling.com
- www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/trauma-and-ptsd
- www.nbcc.org/Search/CounselorFind
- www.talkspace.com
SCARS is here to Help!
We offer a free program for survivors to interact with other survivors in a safe environment through our online support & recovery groups. To learn more and apply visit support.AgainstScams.org
We also help to get survivors started with professional counselingCounseling Counseling is the professional guidance of the individual by utilizing psychological methods especially in collecting case history data, using various techniques of the personal interview, and testing interests and aptitudes. A mental health counselor (MHC), or counselor, is a person who works with individuals and groups to promote optimum mental and emotional health. Such persons may help individuals deal with issues associated with addiction and substance abuse; family, parenting, and marital problems; stress management; self-esteem; and aging. They may also work with "Social Workers", "Psychiatrists", and "Psychologists". SCARS does not provide mental health counseling. through our SCARS Gold Membership. For just $15 survivors receive many benefits, including a full month of counseling or therapy free! To learn more about our Gold Membership visit membership.AgainstScams.org and to join now go to join.AgainstScams.org
We hear Scam Survivors – We Understand Scam Survivors
We can help survivors turn away from the destructive reactions that most victims experience and start on the path to recovery! This is what we do.
Also, remember that friends and family members can be strongly affected by seeing a friend or family member go through this. We offer a support groupSupport Group In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers. exclusively for friends and family members as well.
Learn what we do and how we can help!
To really learn the truth about scams also read the articles on the Psychology of Scams and Victim Recovery here on www.RomanceScamsNOW.com You will also find more information for family and friends of scam survivors here!
We are here to Help!
We are SCARS – the Society of Citzens Against Relationship Scams Inc. a government-registeredgovernment-registered It means to be registered with departments or agencies of the government. In the case of SCARS, we are registered with state and federal governments in the United States, Europe & Asia. SCARS is registered as a crime victims' assistance nonprofit with agencies of the Department of Justice and Department of Homeland Security. And is incorporated in the State of Florida as a nonprofit corporation. government-partnered online crime victims’ assistance and crime prevention nonprofit organization supporting scam survivors worldwide!
To Learn More Also Look At Our Article Catalogs
Essential Tools For Every Scam Victim From SCARS Publishing
Visit shop.AgainstScams.org
Each is based on our SCARS Team’s 31 plus years of experience.
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SCARS GREEN BOOK
Self-Help Self-Paced Recovery Program Guide
LEARN HOW TO RECOVER ON YOUR OWN
This program is designed to help scam victims struggling to recover on their own and for those who want to understand the overall process. You can be using other resources, such as trauma counseling or therapy, qualified support groupsSupport Groups In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic, such as romance scams. Members with the same issues can come together for sharing coping strategies, to feel more empowered and for a sense of community. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy. They can be supervised or not. SCARS support groups are moderated by the SCARS Team and or volunteers., or completely independent – on your own!
The SCARS Steps program is a complete program and is provided for the purpose of helping scam victims to overcome this experience. Throughout this SCARS Steps Program, we speak about issues and challenges that a victim may have and help guide them through their recovery. But each person is different and it is important to understand your own reasons for being vulnerable to being scammed.
After the trauma of being scammed, you need to take steps to recover and move on. This may be an alternative to counseling in the short term, but we still encourage you to seek out professional help & support. Throughout this SCARS Steps Program, we speak about issues, challenges, defects, or problems that a victim may have in a generalized way.
The SCARS GREEN BOOK will help you recover from your scam offline and it will always be there when you need it!
SCARS SLATE BOOK – Let Us Explain What Happened!
A Guide For Families & Friends Of Scam Victims
HOW TO HELP ROMANCE SCAM VICTIMS FOR FAMILIES & FRIENDS OF SCAM VICTIMS
This SCARS Publishing book represents a complete guide to help the families and friends understand how these scams work and how to help the victim.
The SCARS Slate Book should be purchased by family and friends to better understand what happened to the victim and the traumatic impact on them. But it can also be shared by the victim so that they do not have to explain to family and friends about the scam. This publication is to help others to help Scam Victims to make it through this traumatic experience and recover.
Each person is different and it is important to understand how relationship scams work and why people are vulnerable; to being scammed, how they were lured in, then groomed and manipulated. This understanding is essential in helping them through the process of ending the scam and then on to recovery. The SCARS Slate Book will provide the information necessary to help support a victim through this process.
SCARS RED BOOK
Your Personal Scam Evidence & Crime Record Organizer
ORGANIZE YOUR INFORMATION TO MAKE THE REPORTING PROCESS SIMPLE!
Helps you get and stay organized. This publication is to help Scam Victims organize their crime information. Complete this information before reporting to the police then bring this book with you
Before or after reporting to the police the RED BOOK gives you a dedicated tool to record all the essential facts of this crime. The Victim, the Scammers, the Money, and your Police interactions. Everything that really matters can be easily recorded for your immediate use and for the future!
As we have seen, money recovery/repayment programs can become available years after the scam ends and you need to keep all the details of this crime in case it is needed. We have also seen scammers being extradited to the U.S. and other countries, this will help in the event you testify or give statements, Additionally, this helps you have your information ready to qualify for victims’ benefits, compensation, or aid.
The Official SCARS RED BOOK is your way of recording all the important facts of this crime so that you do not lose essential information, Complete the RED BOOK then put it away with the confidence that you will have it if or when it is needed.
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Your generous purchase allows us to maintain our scam avoidance, support, and recovery services. Please help SCARS and stand proud.
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THE NEXT VICTIM MIGHT BE YOUR OWN FAMILY MEMBER OR BEST FRIEND!
By the Society of Citizens Against Relationship ScamsSCARS SCARS - Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. A government registered crime victims' assistance & crime prevention nonprofit organization based in Miami, Florida, U.S.A. SCARS supports the victims of scams worldwide and through its partners in more than 60 countries around the world. Incorporated in 2015, its team has 30 years of continuous experience educating and supporting scam victims. Visit www.AgainstScams.org to learn more about SCARS. Inc.
A Worldwide Crime Victims Assistance & Crime Prevention Nonprofit Organization Headquartered In Miami Florida USA & Monterrey NL Mexico, with Partners In More Than 60 Countries
To Learn More, Volunteer, or Donate Visit: www.AgainstScams.org
To see ScammerScammer A Scammer or Fraudster is someone that engages in deception to obtain money or achieve another objective. They are criminals that attempt to deceive a victim into sending more or performing some other activity that benefits the scammer. Photos visit www.ScammerPhotos.com
Contact Us: Contact@AgainstScams.org
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