SCARS Institute's Encyclopedia of Scams™ RomanceScamsNOW.com Published Continuously for 25 Years

SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years

In 2025 the SCARS Institute will enter its 11th year of Supporting Scam Victims Worldwide. Please let us know how we can better help you? Thank you for supporting our organization. SCARS Institute © 2024 www.AgainstScams.org

A Simple Lesson About Scammers

Learning to Recover from Romance Scams

SCARS Scam Victim Recovery Program

The Lesson For Today About Scammers & Emotions

The lesson we ask you to learn recently is that scammers are no different than any predatory animal.

They don’t care about their prey.

When a cat hunts a mouse, it can seem cruel, but the cat is after a meal. The cat may purr afterward because it is happy it was able to eat and that it did well in its hunt. Cats often purr when you feed them.

Scammers are just predators.

They exhibit most of the same behaviors and reactions. They hunt for what they want – money – your money. But it truly is not personal for them, they do not really care about their victims. They may say they do on TV, but they do not lose sleep over it.

This is very hard for scam victims to accept that human beings can do this to other human beings, but these are your own biases preventing you from accepting that. Your emotions do not change who or what scammers are.

The big challenge for most crime victims is to accept that your emotions do not matter to the career criminal. The labels you apply are not reality, they are the externalization of your feelings. And because you attach them to the scammer, it makes it so much more difficult to let them go.

We know this is intensely personal for you. It is intensely personal for the mouse too, but not the cat. The same with scammers.

You might say they lack empathy, but do they really? Or is it just turned off? Is it just indifference?

Consider, when you cook food do you empathize with your food? Vegans say they do, but they still eat living things too (plants), as do we all.

In the end, reconciling the inhumanity (in our view) of the scammers, with our own views of what is right and wrong is futile, It does not help you get past this experience and in fact, holds you back.

It is incredibly hard to accept this simple fact because you are a person and you matter and you are emotional. We can’t get our head around the fact that humans through the ages prey on other humans (Silence of the Lambs?) Humans all have the capability for extreme evil.

But the hardest part to accept in this is: not that they purposefully set out to do evil – they don’t, they are indifferent to evil – because it is not even a consideration for them. Their attitude is indifference.

That is the hardest thing to accept!

That is the thing that will ultimately let you move past this experience. The fact that while you personally were targeted and manipulated, hurting you was not their objective – their objective was just the money. You were not a consideration for them. They were indifferent to what you experienced.

The closest analogy is Termites. They consume to live. They eat your house, but there is no emotion involved. When you find them you call an exterminator – also with indifference to what they want or feel.

Early victims will have a very hard time understanding this. That is normal. Don’t even try yet. But later as grief settles down, understanding this will help you get to acceptance.

You will still get mad, you may still want to call them names, but you will know that it is just internal noise – inside your head – and it has no relevance for the scammers.

The final justice is for us to be equally indifferent as they are arrested and then they can experience what happens to prey. Then they can see their own pain as the indifferent justice system puts them in a box and ignores them.

You may feel that it will never happen, but it is happening. Over 130,000 scammers were arrested last year alone.

In time, the arms race becomes balanced between what society will accept and what the criminals want. Our collective job is not to apply our own emotions to criminals, but to help society decide what level is acceptable – this is true of all crime.

We believe that there should be ZERO tolerance. All criminals should be treated to the indifference of society, but we also believe that we should apply a standard of empathy in the process.

We hope you will get to a point where you can accept the reality of these crimes, and then the next time that you vote that you will focus on zero tolerance for criminal predators because that is the best way to honor yourself and all those preyed upon by these criminals.

This is the way!

SCARS Publishing Self-Help Recovery Books Available At shop.AgainstScams.org

Scam Victim Self-Help Do-It-Yourself Recovery Books

SCARS Printed Books For Every Scam Survivor From SCARS Publishing

Visit shop.AgainstScams.org

Each is based on our SCARS Team’s 32-plus years of experience.

SCARS Website Visitors receive an Extra 10% Discount
Use Discount Code “romanacescamsnow” at Checkout

Always Report All Scams – Anywhere In The World To:

Go to reporting.AgainstScams.org to learn how

U.S. FTC at https://reportfraud.ftc.gov/#/?orgcode=SCARS and SCARS at www.Anyscams.com
Visit reporting.AgainstScams.org to learn more!

Published On: February 19th, 2022Last Updated: March 25th, 2022Categories: Scam Victim RecoveryTags: , , , , , ,

-/ 30 /-

What do you think about this?
Please share your thoughts in a comment below!

Article Rating

0
(0)

Table of Contents

ARTICLE CATEGORIES

POPULAR ARTICLES

Rapid Report Scammers

SCARS-CDN-REPORT-SCAMEMRS-HERE

Visit SCARS www.Anyscam.com

Quick Reporting

  • Valid Emails Only

  • This field is hidden when viewing the form
    Valid Phone Numbers Only

Subscribe & New Item Updates

In the U.S. & Canada

U.S. & Canada Suicide Lifeline 988

U.S. & Canada Suicide Lifeline 988

RATE THIS ARTICLE?

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

As you found this post useful...

Follow us on social media!

We are sorry that this post was not useful for you!

Let us improve this post!

Tell us how we can improve this post?

LEAVE A COMMENT?

Your comments help the SCARS Institute better understand all scam victim/survivor experiences and improve our services and processes. Thank you


Thank you for your comment. You may receive an email to follow up. We never share your data with marketers.

Recent Comments
On Other Articles

Important Information for New Scam Victims

If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org

If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

A Note About Labeling!

We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!

A Question of Trust

At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.

Statement About Victim Blaming

Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.

These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.

Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org

Psychology Disclaimer:

All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only

The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.

While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.

Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.

If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.

Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.

If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.