Published On: June 3rd, 2019Last Updated: March 24th, 20222 Comments on A Commentary On Life1974 words10 min readTotal Views: 1502Daily Views: 1
A Commentary On Life 1SCARS™ Scam & Scamming News: Thailand Crackdown Forces Romance Scam Syndicates To Malaysia [GALLERY]
Real Professional Yahoo Boy Scammer's Scamming GuidesSCARS™ Special Report: Latest Yahoo Boy Scammer Techniques
SCARS Institute's Encyclopedia of Scams™ RomanceScamsNOW.com Published Continuously for 25 Years

SCARS Institute’s Encyclopedia of Scams™ Published Continuously for 25 Years

In 2025 the SCARS Institute will enter its 11th year of Supporting Scam Victims Worldwide. Please let us know how we can better help you? Thank you for supporting our organization. SCARS Institute © 2024 www.AgainstScams.org

A Commentary On Life

We Live In This World Of Our Own Creation

Many of us complain that we had nothing to do with it, it was this way when we got here and has not changed with our journey through life, and will not change with our passing.

I came to a realization recently about my own life and those of the people I have connected with over the years and in the creation of my career, my business, and SCARS that I thought I would share.

Why because I think there is something important in it.

Why do scams happen?

Is it because trusting people are taken advantage of? Yes, certainly, but also no, I do not think so.

I believe that scams happen because of a fundamental human need.

Regardless of the risks, human beings need something just as much as they need food and water, warmth and shelter.

They need a connection.

We, humans, are willing to do almost anything to obtain it.

Each of us needs a connection to others to survive.

In today’s world, it is so easy to strip away our connections. They fade away without us even being aware of it. Family, friends, even children go away. It’s not that they die, but they might as well – they are just gone from our lives. Of course, you can pick up the phone and call them, or maybe every few months when they realize the void in their lives they call you.

But ask yourself this? If you died right now, how long would it be before someone discovered the body?

For far too many, it would be weeks. The smell would be the thing that brought the police, not the concern of family or friends.

I recently came to the conclusion that I have no friends, no real friends, not the way we really think of them. Not the friends that people see regularly, go to lunch with, have a drink with, speak with daily. Don’t misunderstand, I have plenty of people I interact with all the time.

But are they real friends? No. They are coworkers, bosses, clients, etc. To be sure, I trust them, I count on them, I value them. They might note my absence but would not call the police to check on me, much less come and knock on my door. I no longer have any of those.

That is not to say I do not value or trust them. I appreciate each one immensely. But they are not the kind of real connections I wish I had.

Where did all of our connections go?

Were they ever that kind of connection?

What about family?

I have a large one. Hundreds of people. But it is not a family. Not even my children. Everyone has spread themselves to the four corners of the country or world. I did that too.

Some speak with me annually, some have not spoken with me for many years. Even my own children do not speak with me more than a few times a month, and in many of those cases, I have to call. Easily a week or two can go by without contact.

I regret incredibly, more than I can say, how much I wished I had spoken with my own parents more often before their passing.

Clearly, something is wrong with this world. Something is wrong with us. Something is wrong with me.

Did we do this to ourselves or did society do it to us?

We are increasingly a society of narcissists, focused on ourselves and our needs and no one else’s. Of course, we tell ourselves something quite different, but that is the day to day reality for most of us in the developed countries. The distances are beyond the point of no return. Most of us are more connected with characters on TV than our own family. We spend more time in the lives of fictional characters each day than in the lives of those we say we love. We did that, no one did it to us.

Politicians know this, especially those on the left who exploit our disconnection as a means of fomenting disaffection. They promise that only they can provide for us. But we don’t need them, we need connections and the rest will take care of itself. Long before we had a welfare state we had communities where villagers took care of their others, or was that fiction as well? We at least tended to stay put and so developed connected communities with real people we connected with and counted on every day.

It is ironic that the technology that was supposed to bring the whole world together has actually driven us farther apart. We used to understand distance, but we lost that. We used to understand loss, but we forgot that too – everything is instantly available online – but that is not connection. That is actually a disconnection – intermediation, but we used to be connected.

We used to understand communication. 50 years ago placing a phone call was a big deal and everyone wanted to talk. We planned our calls, even made appointments. We wrote letters with meaning and substance. Now a call is nothing. There are no letters, just fractional texts. We have lost how to communicate meaningfully with feeling and truth.

Don’t misunderstand, we all have affiliations, acquaintances, people we know – but those are not real connections. A marriage, if it is a good one has connection. But those disappear too.

What are we left with?

Are we just minds in a MATRIX of our own or someone else’s creation?

This brings us back to romance scams.

In a world of fundamental disconnection, we understand that something is missing. We know deep down inside that we feel more alone than ever. Yet, connection escapes us in the real world.

We are willing to risk anything for a connection.

Yet, the real world makes it harder than ever. If you are a man, you are scared to death to talk to a woman now – thank you Feminism. In the zeal for equality, everyone is more unequal than ever. Some of it needed to be lost – people are bullies and pressure people into situations that are uncomfortable, or worse. Yet at the same time, we have lost something so simple as just being able to talk to someone of the opposite sex without fear – every word must be measured and calculated not to offend. That is not to say that great things have not been achieved, they have, but everything comes at a cost.

If you are a woman then you are just as afraid as society paints men as violent and evil wrongdoers. Some are, but most are not.

We, therefore, turn to the online world where we believe it is safe to talk, where the risks seem lower. We can connect with people everywhere on the planet, but are those connections? Are they friends? Not really, because in the end what do we know of them?

Regardless, we think there has to be a connection out there in cyberspace for us.

We search and open ourselves up to the potential. A stranger comes along, and we are so needy, so desperate for a connection, any connection, that we ignore the risks, we ignore the red flags.

We see and hear things that do not feel right, but we ignore the obvious deception. We hunger so much for that connection that all other considerations fade away and we live in the glow of the connection – even if it is fake. For in those few days or weeks or months, we have a connection, we have something, even if it is only in your head.

Of course, after the romance scam, our connections are fewer and the barriers are greater.

Naturally, trust goes out the window. We hate ourselves. We blame EVERYONE, including ourselves. And in the end, there is less of a feeling of connection than ever.

Maybe this is just the sentiments of someone that realizes that their connections have gone. Maybe it is just someone that is facing their own demons.

But in this inward view looking out at the world, maybe there is a truth that we are not where we want to be.

Who’s fault is that?

Society’s? Civilization’s? The Universe’s? God’s?

At least on some level, it is our fault – we let this happen and it is up to us to fix it.

Re-connecting will not be easy, it will actually be extremely easy, you just have to make the effort!

It starts by fixing the connections you have, one by one. Pick a person and be a pain in the butt. Go see them, or at least call them. Turn it into a habit. Make yourself a part of their life. Make it a permanent connection.

You can do it. It is easy.

Then one by one you reconnect with the rest.

For most scam victims, the loss of connection is the most difficult thing you face, but you can fix it. You just need to make it happen.

Stop being afraid and just do it!

Hopefully, this 3am deep thought commentary will have been of some value to you. This is what SCARS is here for.

SCARS is not here to fix you. We are just here to shine a flashlight in the night down the Yellow Brick Road.

Hopefully, you will find a way to reconnect with the real people that are there just waiting for you.

We wish you all the best in your journey.

Sincerely,

SCARS the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated


Dr. Tim McGuinness,

Chairman and Founder,
Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc. [SCARS]
A nonprofit registered online crime victims’ assistance NGO building connections one survivor at a time!

 

PLEASE SHARE OUR ARTICLES WITH YOUR CONTACTS
HELP OTHERS STAY SAFE ONLINE

 

 

TAGS: SCARS, Dr. Tim McGuinness, Deep Thoughts, 3am, Commentary, Editorials, Opinion, OpEd, Connections, Disconnections, Reconnections, Our Lives, Who’s Fault Is It,

The Latest SCARS|RSN Posts


END


MORE INFORMATION

More Information From RomanceScamsNow.com


– – –

Tell us about your experiences with Romance Scammers in our
« Scams Discussion Forum on Facebook »


– – –

FAQ: How Do You Properly Report Scammers?

It is essential that law enforcement knows about scams & scammers, even though there is nothing (in most cases) that they can do.

Always report scams involving money lost or where you received money to:

  1. Local Police – ask them to take an “informational” police report – say you need it for your insurance
  2. Your National Police or FBI « www.IC3.gov »
  3. The SCARS|CDN™ Cybercriminal Data Network – Worldwide Reporting Network « HERE » or on « www.Anyscam.com »

This helps your government understand the problem, and allows law enforcement to add scammers on watch lists worldwide.


– – –

Visit our NEW Main SCARS Facebook page for much more information about scams and online crime: « www.facebook.com/SCARS.News.And.Information »

 

To learn more about SCARS visit « www.AgainstScams.org »

Please be sure to report all scammers
« HERE » or on « www.Anyscam.com »

 

A Commentary On Life 2

 

Legal Notices: 

All original content is Copyright © 1991 – 2020 SCARS All Rights Reserved Worldwide & Webwide. Third-party copyrights acknowledge.

SCARS, RSN, Romance Scams Now, SCARS|WORLDWIDE, SCARS|GLOBAL, SCARS, Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams, Society of Citizens Against Romance Scams, SCARS|ANYSCAM, Project Anyscam, Anyscam, SCARS|GOFCH, GOFCH, SCARS|CHINA, SCARS|CDN, SCARS|UK, SCARS Cybercriminal Data Network, Cobalt Alert, Scam Victims Support Group, are all trademarks of Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated.

Contact the law firm for the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Incorporated by email at legal@AgainstScams.org

-/ 30 /-

What do you think about this?
Please share your thoughts in a comment below!

Article Rating

0
(0)

Table of Contents

ARTICLE CATEGORIES

POPULAR ARTICLES

Rapid Report Scammers

SCARS-CDN-REPORT-SCAMEMRS-HERE

Visit SCARS www.Anyscam.com

Quick Reporting

  • Valid Emails Only

  • This field is hidden when viewing the form
    Valid Phone Numbers Only

Subscribe & New Item Updates

In the U.S. & Canada

U.S. & Canada Suicide Lifeline 988

U.S. & Canada Suicide Lifeline 988

ARTICLE META

Published On: June 3rd, 2019Last Updated: March 24th, 2022Categories: ♦ ABOUT ADVOCACY & ACTIVISMTags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments on A Commentary On Life1974 words10 min readTotal Views: 1502Daily Views: 1

RATE THIS ARTICLE?

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

As you found this post useful...

Follow us on social media!

We are sorry that this post was not useful for you!

Let us improve this post!

Tell us how we can improve this post?

LEAVE A COMMENT?

  1. A Commentary On Life 3
    Edward June 3, 2019 at 5:54 am - Reply

    Melissa friended me at a time when after a heart attack and epidyitous I questioned my one way intimacy with my wife. She promised that two way relationship and help with bills.

    When she was supposed to arrive she got busted coming back into the state’s. She ended up in Canadian prison. Said she needed money for better food, meds and court costs. I felt guilty and sent thousands . In November 2017 when she got she stayed up there. Jan 2018 says need 3000 for hotel bill. Didn’t do it.
    Thst March 850 and no show. This week says 850 to come can’t trust even invoking the Lord’s name. I would loose all again.

Your comments help the SCARS Institute better understand all scam victim/survivor experiences and improve our services and processes. Thank you


Thank you for your comment. You may receive an email to follow up. We never share your data with marketers.

Recent Comments
On Other Articles

Important Information for New Scam Victims

If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org or join SCARS for our counseling/therapy benefit: membership.AgainstScams.org

If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

A Note About Labeling!

We often use the term ‘scam victim’ in our articles, but this is a convenience to help those searching for information in search engines like Google. It is just a convenience and has no deeper meaning. If you have come through such an experience, YOU are a Survivor! It was not your fault. You are not alone! Axios!

A Question of Trust

At the SCARS Institute, we invite you to do your own research on the topics we speak about and publish, Our team investigates the subject being discussed, especially when it comes to understanding the scam victims-survivors experience. You can do Google searches but in many cases, you will have to wade through scientific papers and studies. However, remember that biases and perspectives matter and influence the outcome. Regardless, we encourage you to explore these topics as thoroughly as you can for your own awareness.

Statement About Victim Blaming

Some of our articles discuss various aspects of victims. This is both about better understanding victims (the science of victimology) and their behaviors and psychology. This helps us to educate victims/survivors about why these crimes happened and to not blame themselves, better develop recovery programs, and to help victims avoid scams in the future. At times this may sound like blaming the victim, but it does not blame scam victims, we are simply explaining the hows and whys of the experience victims have.

These articles, about the Psychology of Scams or Victim Psychology – meaning that all humans have psychological or cognitive characteristics in common that can either be exploited or work against us – help us all to understand the unique challenges victims face before, during, and after scams, fraud, or cybercrimes. These sometimes talk about some of the vulnerabilities the scammers exploit. Victims rarely have control of them or are even aware of them, until something like a scam happens and then they can learn how their mind works and how to overcome these mechanisms.

Articles like these help victims and others understand these processes and how to help prevent them from being exploited again or to help them recover more easily by understanding their post-scam behaviors. Learn more about the Psychology of Scams at www.ScamPsychology.org

Psychology Disclaimer:

All articles about psychology and the human brain on this website are for information & education only

The information provided in this article is intended for educational and self-help purposes only and should not be construed as a substitute for professional therapy or counseling.

While any self-help techniques outlined herein may be beneficial for scam victims seeking to recover from their experience and move towards recovery, it is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before initiating any course of action. Each individual’s experience and needs are unique, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another.

Additionally, any approach may not be appropriate for individuals with certain pre-existing mental health conditions or trauma histories. It is advisable to seek guidance from a licensed therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support, guidance, and treatment tailored to your specific needs.

If you are experiencing significant distress or emotional difficulties related to a scam or other traumatic event, please consult your doctor or mental health provider for appropriate care and support.

Also read our SCARS Institute Statement about Professional Care for Scam Victims – click here to go to our ScamsNOW.com website.

If you are in crisis, feeling desperate, or in despair please call 988 or your local crisis hotline.